I was barefoot, standing on the snow with nothing else around me. "Why am I here?" I asked the air.

"Is that a philosophical question or do you not understand how babies are made?" Tony Stark asked from behind me.

I turned to him. "Did I die?"

"Not yet." He stepped closer. "First time pulling heroics, huh?"

"Second, actually."

"So you found something to fight for."

"I've always been fighting."

"Then don't you think you deserve a break?"

"Just have to get clear."

()

"CLEAR!" The jolt from the defibrillator raked through my body as I gasped. The pain in my abdomen surged, bringing tears to my eyes.

"We have a sinus rhythm!" Simmons cheered. "She's alive!" She snatched up a needle and injected into an IV that was stuck in my left arm. "I know you hurt. This should kick in soon."

And boy did it. I had to close my eyes for a second. "Holy crap that's some bomb ass shizzle."

Relieved chuckles circled around me. "Thanks for coming back," Ward grinned, taking my hand.

Coulson pushed off the wall nearby. "Let's give her and Agent Ward a moment." He motioned and led the others out.

I squeezed Ward's hand. "How bad is it?"

He had to be pulling out every bit of his training to hide his emotions. "Bad. Simmons worked on you for hours before we got here. You had three surgeries after that. You had to be put on ventilators. This is the first time you've been conscious in three days."

I gasped. "Three days?" I glanced around. "Where are we?"

"A mobile med center. Even though she's not a primary MD, Simmons insisted on being first call on everything for you."

"Was anyone else hurt?"

"Just minor cuts and bruises."

"What about the PSIO people?"

"The guards had suicide pills. Ledesma was killed. And we didn't find Holtz."

I touched my chest. "You had to shock me?"

"This morning your heart stopped." He looked down at our hands. "I think mine did too."

"Grant…"

"No, Sita, I want you to listen." He took a deep breath. "I want you to stay. Portal or no."

()

Three weeks before I could go back to the bus. And even then, I wasn't going to be allowed to do any training in combat. Which was fine by me. I now also possessed a nice big scar that was totally going to ruin bikini season.

Fitz and Simmons rushed to hug me as soon as I walked in. "It's so wonderful to see you without medical tubing," Simmons smiled.

"Feels better, too." I glanced behind them at Skye and May, who were also smiling. Ward was carrying in my bag but I didn't see Coulson. "Hey guys, I'll be right back." I headed upstairs to his office, knocking.

"Come in," he called out.

I slipped in. "Reporting for room and board, sir," I smiled.

He stood, smiling. "It's good to see you up about." Coming over, he gave me a hug. "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Still weak and a little sore. Had a weird dream while I was under."

"Anything we might need to know?"

I shook my head. "Nah. Was more about like, inner growth. Babble." I motioned. "Can I sit?"

"Of course." He sat on the edge of his desk.

I sat. "Grant asked me to stay. Even if we find the portal."

"Is that what you'd like to do?"

"What I'd like to do is live in the tropics with man servants." I gave him a wink. "You can come," I teased.

He chuckled. "Tahiti is a magical place."

I made another mental note. I had to find out what was going on with Coulson's resurrection. "But yeah, what I really would love is to have both worlds at once. Since that can't happen, I think…"

()

We began our flight back to Canada. Coulson was determined to find out what was worth dying for in that labyrinth. I sat in bed with my notebook, trying to see if I could pull anything out of my hat that could help.

Ward came in, freshly showered. He'd been training with Skye most of the morning. "Hey."

I close my notebook. "Hey. Training go good?"

He nodded and sat beside me, giving me a kiss. "She's upping her game." He glanced at my notebook. "I gotta admit, I'm curious about your journal."

I ran my hand over the cover. "It's not like a diary. I don't go all 'Today, Grant totally checked me out in the hall on the way to third period!' or anything."

He chuckled at that, putting his arm around me. "What is it then?"

"It's the place my thoughts go when my brain gets too crowded." I grinned. "Of course, there's like, tons of air up there so I'm not too worried about anything really falling out my ears."

"Promise me you'll stay on the Bus while we're up there."

"I can do that."

He took a deep breath. "This makes two times you've saved my ass. And I'm supposed to be the black ops specialist."

"Dumb luck."

"I don't believe in luck."

"What do you believe in?"

He tucked his hand under my chin and tilted my head up to look into his eyes. "I believe in you."

()

It was an all too familiar scene. I was sitting with Skye, Fitz, Simmons and Coulson at the monitors. But the images were different. I held my stomach as May's cam passed the helicopter wreckage. Most of it was covered in snow but I knew that those lumps were. A part of those lumps had been buried in my body. Coulson put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

The descent was the same, leading them past the creepy drawings till they finally reached the point they had met Holtz. "Head to the next fork and take a right," Fitz directed.

"Copy that." Ward led the way forward. "Seeing light." But on his cam, this was a different kind of light. It seemed to emenate from the walls, a light purple. "You getting this?"

"This is it." Fitz turned to Coulson. "This is Sita's light."

Coulson glanced at me to see my reaction. I was looking back at him, unsure. "Ward, May, secure the area so FitzSimmons can begin scans."

"Copy."

()

"This is Sita's light."

For some reason, the way Fitz had phrased that made me feel uneasy. I curled up with Ward on the couch. Skye, Fitz and Simmons had gone to check out the wall. May was watching the entrance and Coulson had gone up to his office for a while. I was glad for the alone time.

I laced our fingers together and turned on the TV. "What do you want to watch?"

"You." He kissed the top of my head.

"Honey, I'm not going to break."

"I'm just worried that third time will be the charm." He sighed. "This relationship compromises me. And I think it compromises you, too."

I sat back so I could face him better, my eyes narrowing. "What I did had nothing to do with us being together. I gave my all for the team and because it was the right thing to do."

"Emotions are weakness. If anyone captured you… I would give up things I shouldn't just to get you back. And that is a huge problem."

"Grant, you're going to listen to me. Because you don't realize how wrong you are. You're like, on the island of Wrongville and planting a flag as King of the Morons." I inhaled deeply through my nose. "Emotions give us something to fight for. If we don't care, then we give up. But when we care, it gives us focus and cements our conviction. And it's that conviction that makes us succeed."

He stared at me for a few moments.

"Grant?"

With a growl, he yanked me close, crushing his lips to mine. I guess I was good at motivational speeches because that speech motivated all the way down to his crotch. He shifted, laying me back on the couch without breaking the kiss. I wrapped my legs around his waist, moaning to his onslaught of passion. His hand went under my shirt, accidently pressing against my healing wound. I whimpered in pain, hissing in a breath. He pulled back, looking to my eyes with concern. "I'm sorry. I forgot." He took a few breaths, trying to calm. "You just bring something out of me."

I smiled and touched his face. "I like what's in there." I reached down to rub between his legs. "And what's here."

He growled. "You better be careful."

I kissed him. "I'm always careful. Didn't you know?" I pushed him back gently. "You might want to hit the showers. I'm going to take a pain pill. They always knock me out." I smiled wickedly.

()

"Jemma?" I slipped into the lab a couple of hours later, Ward and Coulson close behind. "Find anything good?"

"It's amazing, really. The different types of observed elementary particles arise from the different quantum states of these strings." She pulled up an image over the table. "It reinforces the notion of the theory called bosonic string theory, incorporated only the class of particles known as bosons, although this theory developed into superstring theory, which posits that a connection exists between bosons and the class of particles called fermions."

I looked to Skye. "Is it wrong that I understood that?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Kinda is."

"An intriguing feature of string theory is that it predicts extra dimensions. In classical string theory the number of dimensions is not fixed by any consistency criterion," Fitz continued.

Ward rubbed his brow. "English, Fitz."

"We can extract coding from inside the wall to remake Sita's box and be able to map out dimensions." He turned to Coulson. "A dimensional GPS, if you will." He grinned. "We can get her home."

All eyes turned to me.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. After a moment, I simply shut it and walked out.