Yeah... the last chapter actually happened... Honestly, even I think this story is weird- but I am going with it because I have the time and determination to finish it- even if it is one of the most confusing things I've ever written... And just a heads up: chapter 10 to the end is REALLY weird so... just keep that in mind.
And with that, Here is...This
-DFD
Chapter 6
The grip on her waist tightened painfully as the chest her head was resting on rose and fell erratically. Padme lifted her head up and realized quickly Anakin was having a nightmare. He was muttering in his sleep and sounded like he was in pain. Placing her hand on his chest she shook him gently, "Anakin." She called, but he didn't seem to hear her. Shaking him harder she tried again, "Anakin." Suddenly his eyes shot open and his left hand flies up, gripping her throat tightly. Padme's hands grip his on her throat, "Ani," her voice is strained as she tries to pry his fingers away but his grip is too tight.
At the sound of the nickname, Anakin blinks away the vision he just had and slowly realizes what is happening. His eyes widen when he sees where his hand is and releases his grip, "Gods, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Padme- I didn't mean- I would never." Anakin stumbles through his words as he sits up and runs his hands through his hair, his breathing erratic and his body coated in sweat.
Padme coughs and clears her throat, "Its alright, Ani." Her voice is hoarse but she tries to comfort him, "I'm alright." She brings her hand to his head and combs her fingers through his damp hair, "You were having a bad dream." She says.
Anakin shakes his head frantically, his hands coming to rest on his knee, shaking slightly, "It wasn't a dream." He says, closing his eyes tightly.
Padme shifts so she is sitting next to him; pulling the blanket up to cover their legs and pulling it up to her chest. She waits for him to continue, watching as his hands shake and he slowly tries to calm his breathing. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it. "Ani," Padme starts, rubbing his shoulder, "Tell me." He shakes his head, "Anakin, trust me." She urges.
He lets out a shaky breath, "They're changing." He says, "The visions are… changing. I'm not seeing what I used to. Instead they are…" Anakin pauses as he tries to find the words to describe them, but he isn't sure what he was seeing, "I was… talking to myself…" He said; his brow knitted in confusion, "I'm not exactly sure what was going on, but I was in this… room talking with a projection of… myself." Anakin shook his head, "I don't know. It doesn't make any sense." He ran his shaky hand through his hair again.
Padme wasn't sure what to make of the visions either. They were too vague to tell her much, but his reaction told her that what he had felt was terrible. "What did you sense?"
"I can't…" Anakin shook his head, "I-I'm not sure." He said, "It felt…" He closed his eyes as he tried to recall what happened, "Weird. Wrong… I knew the two… me's were me- and it just felt wrong. I felt like one of them was confused and the other was in pain. The projection was in pain, like it was struggling to be there."
"We'll figure this out as we go," She said, pushing him to lie back down, wrapping her arm around his waist, "Right now, there isn't anything to suggest these will become real any time soon, correct?" Anakin nods his head, letting his fingers curl into her hair. Padme smiles, placing a light kiss on his chest, "Then we still have time to work this out. Maybe Obi-Wan can help when we find him." She suggests. Anakin is silent, still clearly troubled by his vision, "Just try to get some sleep. And know that I am here for you." She says before closing her eyes again.
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The sound of soft tapping on the door stirs her just enough to wake her. She is too tired to get up. After what happened the night before and the vision Anakin had early in the morning, she was exhausted and she knew he was as well. It didn't help matters that his body was warm and pressed firmly against her back. Instead, she presses herself closer to the warmth and wrapping her arm around the one arm casually thrown over her waist.
"Daddy?" The door muffles Serena's voice, "Daddy, are you still asleep? Why is the door locked?"
Padme sighs as the girl continues to knock, realizing that Ellaena is not going to do anything to stop the child. She nudges Anakin to wake him up, knowing that if he doesn't take care of this now Serena will continue to talk through the door. Anakin groans and only tightens his hold on Padme, his nose nuzzling her neck affectionately. "Ani… she's calling you." Padme groans, the feeling of him moving against her igniting her passion once more.
He smirks against her ear, "Ellaena will take care of it." He mumbles.
Padme rolls her eyes, "No she won't."
"Then she can wait a little longer…" He whispers, his voice husky from sleep, "I just want to stay here with you a bit longer." He drags his nose along her ear, nibbling on her lobe.
It takes all her will to reject his advances, pulling her head away from his and shifting away from his rapidly hardening shaft, "I take it you're in a better mood." She mutters."
He gives a slight shrug of his shoulder, "A little, I didn't have a vision the second time around." He said, shifting his hips forward to rub against her backside.
Padme sighs as she places her hand on his, halting his movement, "There will be time for that later. I'd rather you take care of your daughter before she figures out what happened here."
Anakin chuckles lightly, "Chances are she already knows… you weren't exactly quiet."
Padme fells the color rise to her cheeks as she slaps his chest, "You weren't either!" She argues, "you howled like a rancor when we finished."
She felt him shrug his shoulders, "You were screaming my name and begging me not to stop, the only way she'd get a better idea of what happened would be if she was standing in the room."
She turned to face her smirking husband, "That's just wrong, Ani. She's your daughter."
"Fine let me rephrase: the only way she wouldn't know, was if she was on a different ship." Padme rolled her eyes at him and laid her head back down on the pillow. That unfortunately meant that Ellaena knew what had happened, which was probably why she was letting Serena stand outside the door now. "Also makes me wonder why no one found out about us before" Anakin said, moving to whisper in her ear, "I mean, we did it in some pretty… risky places." He plants a kiss along the shell of her ear, "On the veranda in the middle of the day, your office, a closet in the Rotunda, my Jedi quarters that one time…" Anakin trails kisses along the side of her neck as he continues to remind her of their risqué escapades. "I could have been expelled for being with you like this," He purposefully presses his hips against her backside in such an erotic way she can't help her sharp intake of breath, "What a scandal that would have been… I think Serena would be a bit more forgiving if we mentally scar her…" He presses another kiss to her neck as his hand moves to grab her breast, "After all, its kind of my job to embarrass her."
"What about Ellaena?" Padme asked, knowing that might just get him to stop.
With a groan he buried his nose deeper in her neck, "Don't remind me." He mumbled, "How do we explain this?"
Padme raised a brow and looked back over at him, "We?" She asked, "I don't recall being the one to lead her on for eight years and have a daughter with her. That is all you."
Anakin frowns at her, "You're going to leave me to explain that on my own?" She shrugs her shoulders and he leans forward to capture her lips in a deep kiss, "Lets just stay here in that case." He mumbles against her lips. Padme sighs into the kiss; as tempting as it is to pick things up where they left off, Serena is still chatting away at the door, calling for her father. "Anakin." Padme says in the most authoritative senator voice she can muster with his lips pressed against hers before she pushes him away. He groans again but with a reluctant sigh and some words grumbled under his breath he pulls away from her.
Anakin shifts to sit on the edge of the bed, which he now realizes is extremely small. Thinking back to what they did earlier he wonders how they had managed to even stay on the bed. Shaking his head to rid himself of the pleasant memories that would bring about an almost immediate reaction from him, he begins his search through the scattered clothes to find his own. He finds his pants easily enough but his shirt had ended up on the other side of the room; he had nearly tripped over one of his boots and it took him another five minutes to realize the other was lodged under the bed. Within that time, Padme had also started putting her clothes on and fixing herself to look more presentable. Once Padme was dressed, he started for the door, but was stopped when she grabbed his arm and directed him to look at her. With a sly smile she reached up and began smoothing his hair.
"… You could tell someone had gripped it pretty hard…" She said, a light blush colored her cheeks.
He smiled at her and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on her lips, running his fingers through her hair, "Same goes for you," He said. Her hands immediately jumped to her head to smooth it out and he laughed before going to the door.
The moment the lock is disengaged, Serena comes barreling in, complaining about being bored, asking how much longer they had to travel, what food they had and more questions than Padme could keep track of. The girl asked so many questions with one breath she was surprised she wondered if Anakin even understood anything. By the way he remained calm and waited for her energy to subside it was clearly something that happened often enough that he must understand. It was also clear that he had gained a great deal of patience in the last decade.
"Calm down, sweet girl," Anakin started, "I can't answer any of that if you don't give me room to speak." He let out a lighthearted laugh as he ruffled her hair, "I know travel is a bit boring right now, but Yavin is very far from home. Fortunately, we are traveling so fast; it will only take maybe five days or so. As for food, let go eat. I'm starved." Wrapping his arm around Serena he led her out to the kitchen area to find something to eat.
Padme was still adjusting to seeing Anakin as a father and acknowledging the difference in time for them. The situation was unusual and uncharted. She wanted to repair their relationship and try again, and based on last night, he seemed to want the same. But there was also the situation with Ellaena and Serena to juggle as well. When Padme saw the other woman in the main cabin area their eyes met for a brief moment and it was obvious she knew what happened the night before. She didn't say anything to her, and Padme was content to wait until Anakin sorted the mess he made out. She wasn't about to clean up his mess this time- convince him that it is the right thing maybe, but not out right clean it for him.
The next mess to clean after that would be navigating the uncertain terrain his daughter presented. She was good with kids. Her nieces loved her, her people loved her; she was very loveable. But she did not want to look like a replacement for her mother, and there is no telling how a child will react to her father's…wife? Girlfriend? Lover? She wasn't even sure which sounded better for her. Technically, she is his wife, but secretly, and under aliases. They had never really dated in the conventional means and skipped the girlfriend in favor of marriage. And lover just sounded too casual. She wasn't even sure when the right time to explain all of this would be. Things were such a mess it was hard to find the proper moment for things to happen.
Besides the relationship crisis, they had the larger issue of the civil war. Yavin 4 had the best chance of still being a rebel base being the largest and most fortified the fleet had. But there was always the chance that in the past seven years it was abandoned. Padme also had no way of knowing who was in charge anymore. She had been one of the founders and worked closely with Bail Organa and Mon Mothma, but who is to say they were not discovered as she had been? They had no way of knowing anything until they reached Yavin.
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Serena was not easy to keep entertained for the ten hours following breakfast. The ship had a dejarik board but she couldn't understand the rules and asked more questions about the holograms than anything else. For her, everything about the ship was new and actually flying through space was such a foreign concept it was difficult to explain what both Padme and Anakin thought was so simple and self-explanatory there wasn't an answer to how or why. Somehow they survived but at the same time they dreaded having to the same thing for the next week.
Ellaena was not as excited about the trip as Serena was. For her, the journey meant the end of everything she had known. She knew Anakin and Padme were either starting or rekindling a relationship and while her relationship with him has been over for years, she worried about what that change means for her daughter. Overall, she wants what is best for her and she knew that the chance of them returning home was slim to none, she knew she would not be the one best suited to take care of her here. With that real possibility in mind, she aimed to cherish every moment she can with Serena until they know what they are doing. So when it came time for Serena to go to bed, Ellaena went too.
With the other two travelers asleep that left Anakin and Padme alone to do as they pleased. Alone in the private of their cabin they were as insatiable as they had been years ago, albeit quieter than the first night. They had tried to act more like adults than lustful teenagers; but somehow they ended up tangled in each other's naked bodies. Anakin's weight pressed her into the mattress and he panted hard against the back of her neck as he recovered. Padme didn't have the energy to push him off. Her whole body twitched from the aftershock of their coupling and it felt too wonderful to interrupt the moment of bliss. Once he rolled off of her his arms immediately snaked around her waist, dragging her with him. "Gods, how did I go so long without you?" He asked as he nipped at her throat, eliciting a laugh from her.
She turned in his arms and brought her arms around his neck while her legs traced his, "I haven't the faintest idea," She replied, pulling him by the hair to kiss him. He was quick to deepen the kiss and pull her flush against him while he slipped his knee between her legs. She could feel his rapidly hardening member and it made her smile into the kiss.
By the time they pulled back, they both had the exact same wide, goofy, love-struck grin. The sight only made them laugh and Anakin rolled them so she sat astride him, her legs straddling his waist and his cock gently pressed up against her backside. Padme gave a gentle rock of her hips against him and he closed his eyes from the sensation it caused, thrusting up against her movements, "Do you ever think of anything else?" Padme asked.
Anakin let a light laugh roll from his lips, "Most days, yes. But you have a way for making me loose all sense. And this," Anakin thrusts his hips once more against her, hard enough to pull a quick intake of breathe from her, "Is way out of my control." The smile on his face is contagious and Padme can't help but smile with him as she lays herself on top of him.
"I thought Jedi were suppose to practice restraint." Padme joked.
The smile on his face faded as his hands stilled on her hips. "I haven't considered myself a Jedi in years." He said, "I don't even think I can be again."
Padme picked her head up to look him in the eye. His eyes were focused off to the side and looked light-years away, "That's okay," She said, running the backs of her fingers on his cheek, "When we see the Jedi again-"
"I don't want to be a Jedi." Anakin confessed, his eyes meeting hers, "I have lived ten years without them and I have been happier without them than I was with them. It was a mistake for me to become a Jedi. I was too old, I could never follow the code as they wanted, I feel too much, and I can't live without attachment. I'm not a Jedi."
"Anakin, the Jedi are all but extinct." She pointed out, "They need all the help they can get." Padme placed both her hands on his face and held his gaze, "You are a Jedi. They cannot hold the code against you when they are in need."
Anakin shook his head, "I admit I need their help with the visions. But I don't want to fight for them again. And that is exactly what they will expect from me when we arrive. I'm not the same man I was when I left."
"They aren't the same Jedi you knew either." She said, resting her chin on his chest, "It's been a decade since you left. With everything that happened, change is inevitable."
"I hope you're right." He said as they shifted once more to go to sleep. Padme curled into his side and was fast asleep in less than an hour. Anakin stayed awake for a little longer. Ever since his visions started again he could feel a throbbing in his head and felt chills on his arms and legs. Now that he is still, the symptoms are more pronounced and he can feel the sweat coating his body and he knows it is not all from their earlier activities. Anakin unwraps his left arm from around Padme and watches his hand a moment and notices the tiny tremors it makes. It's been off and on all day. He knows what is happening. He is starting to go through withdrawal. The way onyx works was once in your system, it shuts down part of the production of enzymes that give of positive and negative emotions. For Anakin, his visions have such strong emotions that the drug works to keep the thoughts of them repressed. This is why users are often reserved and keep to themselves as they feel less than a sober person. The body eventually adjusts to the lower amount of enzymes and when the user stops, the body thinks they have too much which causes the sweating, the tremors and anxiety. Anakin takes a shaky breath; it is only a matter of time before the visions become more pronounced and more frequent.
