Authors Note: I own nothing. Thanks for the reviews. I really am not sure where this will go—I have changed some time lines around a bit. Any flashback will be in italics.
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"Hi," she said softly.
"You ok," he asked.
"I think so," she said, "it scares me you know, him wanting to get to know Lucas."
"I know B, but it's a good thing for him."
"You sound more confident about it than I feel," she chuckled, "I don't want him to get hurt, I don't want it to turn out badly."
"Brooke," he sighed, "you are an amazing mom. Keithan is going to love you know matter what happens with Lucas. And you always said you wanted this for him. Be happy."
"I'm working on that," she said, "how's New York?"
"Busy as usual. I have so much going on with agency, Nate is going to come up next week and help out with some stuff," he laughed, "I think he just misses me."
"We all do."
"Well listen B, I have to go it's late," he said, "but we'll talk soon."
"Ok," she said softly. As he hung up her heart ached a little. She did miss him, Clay had been a huge part of her world for the last fifteen years. She gathered her things to head inside to bed. She made her way up the stairs to peak in on her son before she went down to her room.
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"He's referring to Clay as Clay now," she said as she walked into Nathan's office.
"Morning Brooke," Nathan said as she sat down across from him.
"Nathan, I'm serious, I need to make sure Luke isn't going to hurt him."
"Listen Brooke," he said, "I get it, believe me Lucas and I have had this talk, but I really think he wants to know KJ."
"Well I texted him last night and let him know it's what Keithan wants too."
"Really," Nathan asked with a smile, "so seeing Dan helped?"
"Nathan, it worries me. Luke has all of this going on with Peyton and the kids and then he's drinking. I mean he was drinking at nine in the morning yesterday."
"Brooke, he really wants to fix things with KJ, and to really try and be there for him. I know it's all complicated, but I think he's sincere." They sat in silence for a few minutes, "what else is going on Davis?"
"What about Clay," she asked wiping her eyes. "Lucas is his father, and I am happy Nate, I am, I want this for him, but there is a part of me that wonders how it hurts Clay? I mean Clay has been here for fifteen years. And now he's gone, and I don't know how to feel about any of it."
"He's not gone," Nathan said sadly watching her cry, "you know he wants what is best for KJ and for you, he's just giving you guys some space."
"It's more than just space though," she said, "he's pulling so far away from both of us. And then your brother," she shook her head, "saying things like he won't hurt either of us, I can't do all of this again."
"You and Luke," Nathan sighed, "Brooke you two have to figure out how to be parents to KJ together, and the rest will work itself out."
"I feel lost right now, you know," she sighed, "I miss Clay, I want Keithan to get to know Lucas, I don't want all of the other mess along with it. I can't go through all of it again."
"He's always loved you," Nathan said.
"That's why he married Peyton?"
"I meant Clay," Nathan said, he sighed, "but him too."
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"Hey bartender," Brooke said as she sat down at the bar in Tric.
"Bar owner," Chase said with a smile, "what can I do for you at," he glanced as his watch, "three on a Friday afternoon?"
"Well, I cam to drop this off," she said handing him a garment bag, "it's Cat's dress for tomorrow, Mia told me to bring it by to you. And, I wanted to thank you for taking me home that night."
"Brooke that was awhile ago, and, Clay would beat my ass if I had let you leave here like that."
"You're a good friend," she smiled.
"So, how are you, really?"
"Honestly, I don't know anymore. KJ wants to get to know Luke, Clay is in New York," she sighed, "and I am here. I mean I want KJ to get to know Luke, because that is what he wants, I just worry he will get hurt."
"I don't really know Lucas," Chase said, "but KJ is a good kid, Brooke, I think he's mature enough to handle things."
"He is, but I don't want him to have to handle anything you know," she said softly, "he may be almost seventeen, but he is still my baby. And the thought of him getting hurt kills me. You know I never thought about being a mom, until I was pregnant with him, and now I just can't imagine anything without him."
"You're a great mom," Chase smiled at her. "Things may be a little awkward right now, but you'll be ok, you always are."
"Thanks," she smiled, "I gotta get going."
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Brooke pulled up the driveway and she noticed his car. She saw him sitting on the front porch.
"Luke," she said as she walked towards the porch, "what are you doing here?"
"I don't know," he said.
"KJ is helping out at the café tonight," she said, "are you ok?"
"I filed for divorce," he said, "I just want it all to be over with you know. I want to be done with it so I can move on."
"I'm sorry Luke, I know this must be difficult," Brooke said standing there looking at him.
"That night," he said looking at her, "in New York."
"That was a long time ago," she said in a matter of fact tone, "and we can't relive our past Lucas."
"Brooke," he pleaded, "did it mean anything to you?"
"I don't know what you are asking me Lucas. I mean of course it meant something, if it weren't for that night, I would not have my son, and he is my world."
"Two boys and a girl," he said as he looked up at her.
"That was make believe," she sighed, knowing in her heart it was anything but, "Luke we were playing a part."
"But I wasn't Brooke," he said shaking his head, "don't you get it? That night, that was what I had been missing, being with you. And imagining our future, that was not make believe, not for me."
"Luke," she said wiping her eyes, "you were hurting, and we got caught up in a moment in a bar and in a carriage ride."
"Was that really all it was to you," he asked.
"I don't know what you want me to say Lucas. I mean that was so long ago. We were different people. Hell, we were kids," she chuckled, "but we aren't anymore. I know it's got to be hard all of this with Peyton and the kids."
"It's not about her," he sighed. "Do you remember the state championship," he asked, she nodded, "you asked me who I wanted next to me when my dreams come true."
"And you said Peyton."
"No, Brooke I never said that," she didn't respond, "I never said that it was her, you did. You told me to go to her, so I did. I would have done anything to make you happy. I knew I had hurt you more times than I cared to count, and I didn't deserve you."
"Luke," she sighed. She wasn't sure what to say.
"You may not be ready to hear this, but I love you Brooke Davis," he said, "I want you and Keithan in my life and I am going to work as hard as it takes to make that happen."
"Luke don't," she said shaking her head, "Keithan wants to know you, that is what matters. He wants you to be a part of his life. He is what matters in all the chaos between us. That's it."
"I am going to get to know him," he said as he stood up, "I can't get back the last sixteen years but I am going to do everything I can to show him how much I love him and his mother," he stepped off her porch, "I'll show both of you," he said as he turned to walk to his car.
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Brooke was standing in the kitchen making herself a salad as she heard Keithan come through the back door, "hey handsome, how was your morning?"
"Good I guess," he said as he sat down at the kitchen island.
"Yeah," she asked. After last night she wasn't sure what to expect from Keithan meeting up with Lucas.
"I mean it's kind of weird," he shrugged, "but Uncle Nathan being there helped."
"Uncle Nathan would do anything for you bud, you know that."
"I do," he said. Keithan James Davis Scott had always idolized his uncle, and his uncle had always looked out for him and taken care of him. "I don't know what this is supposed to be you know," he said looking up at his mother.
"I think it's just you two getting to know each other," she said as she sat beside him.
"Can I ask you something mom," he asked, she nodded, "did you love him?"
"You're killing me smalls," she chuckled, she hesitated as she looked at her son, she had to be honest, "but yeah buddy, I did love him. We were young," she sighed, "and things happened, and things were complicated, but we loved each other very much."
"Are you sure you're ok with this, me getting to know him?"
"Keithan James, it is more than ok. I mean it, I want you to do this for you. And if you decide it isn't what you want that's ok too," she smiled at him.
"I feel bad for Sawyer," he said, "I always knew who my dad was even if I didn't know him."
"I know," she said.
"And I had Clay," he said.
"You still do," Brooke said softly, "you always will. We both will."
