Author's Note: I LOVE this chapter because I decided to do things just a little differently. It ended up being a little long, but it is my favorite chapter. All excerpts from Eclipse belong to Stephenie Meyer. Her words just fit in with my theme a little too perfectly. :) I used centering to denote the sections of text taken from Eclipse. I hope you like it!
Bella was incredibly grateful that everyone had given her the time to chat with Alice alone this morning. She felt like at least one major life issue had been settled for now. Of course, she still managed to be out of the house before Jasper and Emmett returned. For now it was time to move on to more pressing concerns, like the newborn army being sent to kill her tomorrow. Edward had helped Bella leave a trail of her scent to lead the newborns to the clearing where the big fight would take place. Bella was nauseous just thinking of it. At least she knew Edward would be safe and sound with her, she thought, feeling every bit the coward for asking that of him.
Edward had packed everything they would need for their little camping adventure and they were now just waiting for Jacob to meet them at the clearing. Bella couldn't quite identify the cause of the new anxiety twisting in her stomach at the thought of spending the next few hours alone with Jacob. She had purposely left her engagement ring behind in Alice's room, not ready for Jake to know about that yet. Of course, Edward noticed. Bella knew that it was important to him that she wear the ring as a mark that she was his, but she couldn't bring herself to flaunt it in front of Jacob, she had explained. She could only hope Edward understood that.
The usual tense pleasantries and banter were exchanged when Jacob arrived and before Bella knew it she was being whisked away into the mountains in Jacob's arms. Bella was just starting to relax and enjoy the way it was always so easy to talk to Jake and just be friends again when the conversation took a turn for the worst.
"A smart person looks at all sides of a decision."
"I have," Bella retorted.
"Think about it, Bella. According to you, you've kissed just one person- who isn't even really a person- in your whole life and you're calling it quits? How do you know that's what you want? Shouldn't you play the field a little?"
Bella kept her voice cool. "I know exactly what I want."
"Then it couldn't hurt to double check. Maybe you should try kissing someone else, just for comparisons sake..."
Bella tucked her head further into Jacob's chest hoping he couldn't see the blush that had overtaken her face. How could she be having this conversation? Of course, Jacob had no idea that Bella had plenty of unexpected options before her, and none of them involved him at this point. She had no plans to share the latest events in her life with him, though, so she just stayed silent.
"When are you finally going to figure out that you are in love with me too? I'm not saying you don't love him. I'm not stupid. But it's possible to love more than one person at a time, Bella. I've seen it in action."
Bella was certain Jake would misinterpret the shocked, thoughtful look on her face as she considered his last statement, but she couldn't help it. Bella loved Jake, but as a best friend or a brother. She had always *thought* the Cullen's loved each other the same way, but maybe it was different. Maybe the Cullen's love was more than that.
Bella didn't have long to ponder that thought because they arrived at the campsite then. Jake set Bella down and she ran into Edward's arms, letting him hold her and kiss her deeply in front of Jacob. She knew it was a show of ownership in some way, but couldn't bring herself to scold him seeing as she'd refused to wear his ring today. She could give him this much.
Edward had already set up the tent and Bella was grateful for it as the wind was already picking up and she could literally feel the temperature dropping as it blew harder. Although she wasn't thrilled at the thought of Jake staying with them tonight, she knew he was their only connection to the pack. Bella bundled herself up inside the tent and settled in for a long night.
A few hours later Bella still hadn't managed to fall asleep for more than a few minutes at a time before the chattering of her own teeth woke her. She was freezing. Edward had started the night sitting by her side, holding her gloved hand. Now he was crouched in the corner trying to keep his distance so he didn't make her any colder than she already was. She hated the distance, even if it was only a few feet. She also hated the helpless look on Edward's face.
"I'm so sorry, love. What can I do?" Edward asked.
Jacob chose that moment to open the tent zipper and pop his head in. " You can't do anything for her, but I can," he said with a self satisfied smirk.
"Jake, in or out!" Bella shouted through the chattering. " You're letting the wind in."
Jacob quickly zipped the tent shut behind him. The look on Edward's face had turned from concerned to murderous. "Don't even think about, Jacob," Edward practically growled.
"She's freezing and I'm running a permanent fever. Just let me help her," Jacob implored.
Bella couldn't help the way her eyes lit up at the thought of being warm again, no matter how it happened. Edward acquiesced. Bella could see the strain in his arms as he literally held himself back from stopping Jacob as he climbed into the sleeping bag with Bella. She probably should have been ashamed of the way she so wantonly pressed her body into Jake, but she was too cold to care. He felt so divinely warm.
"Try to relax," Jacob suggested as another shiver rippled through her violently. "You'll be warm in a minute. Of course, you'd warm up faster if you took your clothes off."
Edward growled sharply.
"That's just a simple fact," Jacob defended himself. "Survival one-oh-one."
Bella was freezing. She was beyond rational thought at this point, so she completely missed the momentarily shocked look on Edward's face when she started unbuttoning her flannel shirt to reveal her white camisole underneath and pressed her ice cold chest to Jacob's warm body. Jacob chuckled.
"Knock it off, Jake!" Bella warned, her speech returning to normal as the teeth chattering ceased. "That's as far as it's going. I'm just so cold."
With her face pressed to Jacob's shoulder as she warmed her nose and cheeks, Bella couldn't see the strange expression on Edward's face now as he considered Alice's early words. "This could be your last chance before the wedding," she had said. It was obvious Bella was comfortable with Jacob. Did he really think Jacob would be amendable to the idea of the three of them... Jacob's thoughts about Bella broke through Edward's internal debate and had him growling again.
"Do you think you could *attempt* to control your thoughts?" Edward's whisper was furious. Edward was certain then he could not bear to share Bella with the wolf. Just hearing the little fantasies float thru Jacob's head had him enraged. It was different with his family, but this would be too much. He silently cursed Alice for ever even putting the idea in his head.
Jacob and Edward continued to talk as Bella softly snored in the background, a trait Edward found adorable. He clung to that feeling as he tried to ignore the impure thoughts in Jacob's mind throughout the night and held back the jealousy that it was Jacob she was currently pressed up against.
Bella woke up warm and cozy in her sleeping bag. She buttoned her flannel shirt and tugged her boots back on before venturing out of the tent to find where Edward and Jacob had gone. Edward greeted her with an unusually passionate kiss, holding her close to him. Bella was amused by his display. As she ate her pop tart breakfast she pondered why it was that Edward could be so jealous of Jacob when he so easily let her sleep with Jasper.
"Edward, can I ask you something?"
"Anything, love," Edward answered, coming to sit beside her.
"Why are you so jealous of Jacob?" Bella knew her question was blunt, but felt that given the events of the past few days they were beyond sugar coating things. Edward was admittedly caught off guard by the question and took longer than usual to answer.
"I think you know why, Bella," Edward said, his jaw tense as he looked out at the horizon, avoiding her gaze. "When I left you, it was Jacob who put you back together again." Bella couldn't miss the pain that laced Edward's voice when he spoke of leaving her. "You love him... It's a different love than ours, but still..."
"I love him like a brother, "Bella interrupted. Silence followed while she contemplated the implications of that statement. She had, after all, just slept with Edward's "brother" yesterday. "Like a blood brother," Bella corrected after a moment. Edward smiled.
"He's your best friend, Bella. That's all. I understand that. But he wants to be so much more and he doesn't exactly shield those thoughts from me. It rankles me. And your refusal to wear your engagement ring in front of him does little to curb my jealousy," Edward admitted.
Bella looked properly chagrined. "But how can you be so jealous of Jacob, and be so okay with... other things?" Bella asked.
Edward moved closer to Bella, allowing her to curl into his side with his right arm around her. "Because I love my family as much as they love me and as much as they love you. It's as simple as that, I think."
"You trust them," Bella added.
"With my life and yours," Edward acknowledged. "Jasper's thoughts when I got back to the house were only of concern for you. He was so worried that he'd been the one to push you away, that he'd be the cause of us being apart again. I'll admit it made me panic for just a moment that you had run, only because he was so distraught about it. That's how much he cares about you. How could I not be okay with someone caring for you like that?"
"After the fight," Bella said, returning to the earlier subject. "I'll tell Jacob about our engagement after the fight. I don't want him distracted by this. He'll be hurt and upset and get himself killed. I couldn't forgive myself." Bella knew it hurt Edward for her to hide it from Jacob, but she was certain it would hurt Jacob more when he found out.
Unfortunately, Bella hadn't noticed Jacob approaching behind them. "You're marrying him?" Jacob asked, clearly upset. Bella jumped out of Edward's arms and spun to look at Jake.
"Jake, what... I..." Bella's stammering fell on deaf ears as Jacob turned, a furious look on his face, and ran off into the trees. How could Edward not have heard Jacob coming? No, of course he heard him. How could Edward not stop her from talking about it in front of Jake? She turned on Edward. "You knew he was there! Why didn't you stop me?"
"He has a right to know, Bella. Last night, all he thought about was having a chance with you. He needed to know that wasn't an option any more," Edward was calm as he explained his reasons. He didn't want to do anything to upset Bella further.
Bella turned away from Edward without another word and started walking in the same direction Jake had gone. Edward reached out to stop her but she shrugged his hands off. "Stop. I've got to talk to him," she insisted. Edward knew that determined look in her eyes and thought better of trying to stop her, letting her storm off, but listening carefully after her to be sure she was safe.
Bella walked as fast as she could. Running would only get her injured when she inevitably tripped over her own feet or a small twig. She started yelling for Jake as soon as she reached the tree line, hoping he was still within earshot. After five minutes of blindly hiking into the woods screaming his name, she was starting to sound desperate. Finally, Jake appeared out of the trees.
"What are you doing, Bella? You're gonna get yourself lost or hurt or something," Jacob couldn't help but be concerned about her, even now. Still, he kept a safe distance of several feet between them. He wasn't sure he could hold his temper if Bella insisted on talking about this and he didn't want her to get hurt.
"Jake," Bella's voice was full of relief. "Jake, I'm sorry. I should have told you. I just... I didn't want to hurt you like that." Bella was moving towards him and couldn't help but notice that for each step she took closer he took one backwards to counter it. "Please, Jake. Don't be angry with me," Bella pleaded.
Jake stopped moving away from Bella and let her step closer. "Bella, last night you were pressed up against me and today you're marrying him. I'm entitled to a little anger, I think." The pain in Jacob's voice stabbed right to Bella's heart.
"Jake, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to feel used." Bella couldn't hold her tears back.
"I don't feel used, Bella. I was used!" Jacob yelled, making Bella jump. "You know what, never mind. I don't want to fight with you. The real fight is about to start in that clearing. I'd much rather be there right now fending off newborns than having this conversation with you."
Bella's fear that Jacob was going to run off into battle distractedly surfaced again. "Jake, no, please! You're not thinking clearly. You're gonna get yourself hurt." Bella still doubted the werewolves abilities when it came to besting vampires, and she was especially concerned with their chances against an entire army of newborns.
"Why do you care whether I get hurt anymore, Bella? Go back to your fiance," Jacob sneered the word, "and let me worry about me."
"I still care about you, Jake! I lo... I love you," Bella admitted to keep him here. "Just not the way you want me to Jake. I can't help that. But I do care. Please, please, don't do this," Bella knew using the "L" word was low, but she was desperate to keep Jacob from getting hurt.
"Prove it," Jacob dared. "Give me something, some reason to not take my chances venting my anger on a few newborn leeches."
"Jake," Bella started to plead, but he cut her off, moving closer to her, close enough to touch.
"No more words, Bella. I've heard enough. Actions speak louder than words." As he spoke, Jacob raised one hand to stroke Bella's face.
Bella stepped back from him. "Jake, I can't." Bella knew that Edward thought differently of Jacob than he did of Jasper. This felt all wrong to her.
"Fine," Jacob turned to walk away, but was stopped by Bella's small hand grabbing his arm.
"No, Jake, please. Okay. Kiss me, Jake," the desperate words tumbled out of her mouth, giving him exactly what he wanted, before she could stop them. Edward had made it clear what the consequences would be if Jake kissed her without permission again. Now that she'd given it, she wished those consequences on herself.
Jacob grabbed her and pulled her body into his, crashing their lips together. Bella resisted the urge to gag. Jacob's kiss was wet and uncomfortable. Bella tried to pull back, but Jacob only held her tighter. His lips continued to move against hers as Bella contemplated how similar his kiss felt to those embarrassing times at junior high sleepovers when she and her friends would practice making out with a mirror. When Jake finally released her she took a huge step back and immediately wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her sweater, trying to keep the look of revulsion off her face. Jake stood there with a goofy grin on his face.
"That should have been our first kiss," he said. "I'm still going to fight, but I promise to be careful, okay?"
Bella could see he was clearly happier now and she knew nothing would keep him from fighting. At least now, she knew he wasn't distracted by her news. "Be safe, Jake." Bella started walking back to the tent as Jacob headed to the fight. Now that Jacob was gone, Bella was faced with her own distractions. How was she supposed to explain kissing Jacob to Edward?
Reviews make my day! And I'm working 4 twelve-hour overnight shifts in a row this weekend so my day could use some making! Please review! :)
Next chapter Wednesday, I think.
