AN: thank you everyone for reviewing! It makes me happy to know people are liking this story. This chapter is pretty uneventful. I want to tone down the dram for the next few before building it back up again becasue when I do it will probably be pretty heavy. Ope you enjoy :)


Rachel's eyes fluttered open and the first thing she felt was a pounding headache. As she struggled to sit up, she tried to piece the events of the previous night back together. It was meant to be a fun girl's night, but it had turned into anything but that. God why was she so stupid! She had ruined what was meant to be her first real sleepover by being an idiot and drinking too much. Before she could continue her self-deprecation, a worried Shelby peeked her head around her bedroom door. Rachel freaked, what the hell was Shelby doing here? Why couldn't she remember everything that had happened?

"You look a bit worse for wear," Shelby said tentatively. Rachel was going to recover from the events of last night, but something else was going on with Rachel and Shelby had made it her mission to find out what.

Rachel was rendered speechless. She was sitting in her bed, staring at her mother, whom she had had a massive argument with yesterday and now she was in her house. Rachel truly did not know what to say. Shelby sensed her daughter's confusion and made her way to the bed and sat down next to Rachel.

"Rachel, do you remember what happened last night?"

Rachel shook her head. She had a fair idea of what went down but was beyond embarrassed to actually admit to that.

"Well sweetie, you had a bit too much to drink and mixed it with the medication for your rib. You were really sick. The kids didn't know what was going on and called Will who then called me," Shelby said slowly and methodically. She tried to remain detached when repeating the events. Rachel had given her one hell of a fright last night. Seeing Rachel like that made her put her life into perspective and all she wanted now was to get to know Rachel while she had a chance.

Rachel inwardly groaned. Oh my god, she thought, Mr Schue was here?

"Does everyone hate me?" Rachel asked, she thought that if all of the kids disliked her before then now they must want to kill her for making Mr Schue aware they were drinking.

God she could have died, Shelby thought, and all Rachel cared about was what everyone thought of her.

"Of course they don't hunni, they were all very worried. Will practically had to pry Finn away from you to get him to leave." Shelby took in Rachel's expression when she said this. While Rachel was trying to keep her composure, she had always played by the rules and had never gotten herself into any real trouble, so doing something like this was out of the ordinary and she felt incredible guilty for making Finn worried. "Listen why don't you get cleaned up and come down stairs. We can go out for breakfast if you want? We have a lot to talk about."

While the thought of rehashing last night's events was not something Rachel wanted to do, she did want to spend time with Shelby. She worried that after her behaviour yesterday, Shelby would never want to see her again.

'I'd actually like that," Rachel said while trying to hide the creeping feeling of nausea. "Umm Shelby, have you told my dad's what happened?"

Shelby knew this question was coming and there was no way to sugar coat the answer. "I actually got a hold of your daddy this morning. He is going to be calling you later to discuss what happened, he wanted to come home but he can't get away from work. I tried ringing your dad, but he is still working on that case and isn't able to be reached."

Rachel mulled this over. She wondered if her dad's were mad that Shelby was in their home and looking after her. They hadn't wanted Shelby to have any access to Rachel until she was 18, so she found it strange that they were now on what seemed to be speaking terms with each other. She had also thought that the fact that she had been acting out and drunk herself stupid last night would be enough of a rebellious act to get at least one of her dad's home. Rachel tried to hide her disappointment and confusion over the entire situation.

"Oh ok. Well I'm going to go and have a shower then."

Shelby watched Rachel escape to the sanctuary of the bathroom and wondered what the hell she was getting herself into. She couldn't understand what Rachel's dad's problem was. When she had met them they were the nicest guys who had longed to have a child for years. She felt that giving them a baby would be an amazing gift and never doubted their ability to love and raise a child. But now it seemed like Rachel was anything but their first priority. Then she thought back to her own behaviour over the last few months and realised that she hadn't acted so differently from them. She had pushed and pushed to get into contact with Rachel and then just walked out on her. No wonder Rachel was having problems, she had no structure or boundaries from her parents and she clearly was craving attention. She began to wonder if perhaps Rachel was hurting herself as a way to get noticed. Maybe she had purposely fallen in hopes that her dad's would have come running to her side and given her the contact she so desperately was craving.

Shelby busied herself cleaning up downstairs while she waited for Rachel to appear. All she could think about was how she was going to handle asking Rachel about what was going on. She could see not diplomatic way to ask if Rachel was harming herself and really wished she had more experience being a mother. It was forty five minutes before Rachel appeared and Shelby was still no closer to figuring out what to say.

"I'm ready Shelby," Rachel said meekly, she knew an interrogation of some sort was coming, how could it not?

Shelby took in her daughter's appearance. She was back to animal sweaters and knee high socks. Where does she get her fashion sense from, Shelby wondered, although she did look cute.

'Great Hun, let's get going."

They decided to stop at a cafe known for its wide choice of vegetarian/vegan options; it was the only one in Lima so Rachel was practically on first name terms with everyone that worked there. The pair decided to sit outside as it was a nice sunny morning and Shelby didn't want too many people overhearing the conversation they were about to have. After ordering, Shelby finally plucked up the courage to stop with the small talk and do some digging.

"Rachel, I have to be honest with you. Last night when I was helping you get cleaned up and dressed, I noticed that you had a few really pretty bad bruises. I know that you didn't get them from a fall and one even looked like a hand print. I need to know what is going on," Shelby said, relieved to have finally said what she was dreading.

Rachel started to panic. She had been lying to long to tell the truth now and she was so embarrassed about being bullied that telling the truth became a painful reminder that she was a nobody at school.

"Shelby there is no need to be concerned; my dance partner at ballet merely accidently bruised me while performing a lift. I assure you I am completely fine," Rachel aid, relieved to have gotten that out.

Shelby watched intently as Rachel spoke. Her response seemed to rehearsed and she sat there so calmly while speaking.

"Rachel, I'm not completely convinced that that is the truth. If someone is hurting you, you don't need to be scared. If it's your dad's or someone else, we can deal with it."

Rachel was dumbfounded. Did Shelby really think her dad's were violent?

"My dad's would never lay a hand on me. They love me. Yes they may be busy, but they would never hurt me. I am telling you the truth Shelby," Rachel said with tears in her eyes.

Shelby instantly felt bad for insinuating that she was being abused by her dad's. She was pretty sure that Rachel wasn't protecting them and that perhaps she did get hurt in ballet.

"I'm sorry hunni, I didn't mean to make you upset. I was just worried and wanted to make sure that you were safe at home."

"I am safe at home and while I appreciate your concern, it's hard for me to accept your intrusion into my personal life when you have been absent from it for so long," Rachel croaked out.

That comment stung, but Shelby knew that Rachel had every right to still hold resentment towards her.

"I really want us to work Rachel. I am truly sorry for what happened between us last time, but I am not going to leave you. All I want is to get to know you and be a part of your life if you'll let me," Shelby said, laying her heart on the line knowing Rachel could break it at any moment.

Rachel was a little shocked at Shelby's determinedness to be a part of her life. While she seemed committed, Rachel was still hesitant and was scared about being hurt again.

"I want to get to know you too Shelby, I really do, but it's going to be hard for me. I can't rush into this. We need to take it slowly.'

Shelby nodded in agreeance and hoped that she could eventually get Rachel's trust. She decided that nay more prying into the bruises was going to be futile and decided that in order for Rachel to trust her, she was going to have to trust Rachel.

Rachel took her hand and put it over Shelby's, feeling the warmth of her mother's hand made her very emotional and she fought back tears. She felt close and connected to Shelby and she like that feeling. It made a part of her whole.

"Rachel, I am prepared to do take things at whatever pace you are good with," Shelby said and then bought her daughter into a hug.

They were interrupted by the arrival of their food and then Rachel launched into a conversation about all things Broadway. They had so much lost time to make up on and Shelby was eager to get to know as much about her daughter as possible.

After breakfast, Shelby took Rachel home and then had to leave to relieve the sitter. She assured Rachel that she could call any time and they were going to meet up the following Wednesday to have dinner. After the events of last night Rachel was surprised to find herself happy. She decided it was time to turn on her phone and see if any of the glee kids had messaged her. Ten messages and twelve missed calls flashed dup on her screen. All the glee kids were worried about her, and no one seemed angry. She decided to promptly message everyone back and thank them for their concern and apologise for ruining what was meant to be a fun night. After she did that she decided that she better call Finn.

"Hello?" Finn said as he picked up his cell.

"Hi Finn, it's just me," Rachel replied, hoping that she hadn't worried Finn to much.

'Oh God Rachel, are you ok? I've been so worried, everyone has."

"I'm fine, just feeling stupid. I can't believe that I mixed pills with alcohol. Are you mad?" Rachel questioned, hoping that he wasn't.

"Of course I'm not mad, I'm just surprised that you did that. You don't even drink Rach."

"I know, it was stupid. I just wanted to engage in normal teenage activates for once. I wanted to feel like a part of the group," Rachel said, knowing that was a bad excuse but it was mostly true.

"I understand that Rach, just don't scare me like that again. The thought of something happening to you is too much," Finn chocked out.

"I won't, I promise."

"Can I come over and see you?" Finn asked.

"How about I come over to yours. I wanted to apologise to Kurt in person anyway."

"Ok sounds good babe, come over whenever. I love you."

"I love you too," Rachel replied before hanging up her phone.

Rachel grabbed a jacket and headed out the door. Finn lived about a fifteen minute walk away, but she didn't mind because she was craving exercise and freedom. As she walked her phone buzzed and she instantly felt sick as soon as she saw the caller ID. It was her daddy calling her, just like Shelby said he would.

"Hi Daddy"

"Rachel I spoke with Shelby this morning and want to know what is going on," Hiram Berry demanded. He was extremely upset when Shelby had phoned him. He was angry about her being in his home with his daughter, but he was a five hour flight away and it was impossible for him to leave.

"Look dad, I was stupid. I drank a little alcohol but didn't realise that mixing it with my pain medication would have such an adverse effect," Rachel mumbled feeling guilty for upsetting her dad.

"Rachel, I don't understand what has gotten into you. Dad and I leave you by yourself because we thought we could trust you. I thought you were too old for a sitter, but maybe I was wrong," Hiram began to question himself. Leaving a teenager alone so much was bound to have consequences; he hoped that this was just a one off.

"Daddy, I'm so sorry. I know you must be angry with me. I will never do something so reckless again," Rachel pleaded, not wanting her father to be disappointed in her.

"I'm sorry, this is partly my fault. I should be home more," Hiram muttered, he thought that perhaps he needed a priority adjustment.

"No daddy, I know how important your work is and now when I get to see you our time together is even more special."

Hiram felt better by this. Rachel had placated him, which really wasn't hard to do because he enjoyed being away from Lima. AS much as he loved his daughter and his partner he liked having his own separate life and the guilt of being away was made easier by the work he was doing.

"Rachel, I'm concerned about Shelby. I don't want her around you. After the debacle of what happened earlier this year, I don't want her upsetting you," Hiram said, he was angry that Shelby felt she could just reappear in Rachel's life.

"Daddy, I'll do whatever you want," Rachel said, but secretly she planned on continuing to see Shelby. She loved having someone around that understood her and shared so many similarities with and she wasn't about to just give that up.

"Ok sweetie, I have to go, but I will be home in a few weeks and dad should be home next week, so just use the credit card and I'll see you soon. I love you sweetie."

"I love you too Daddy," Rachel said just before the line went dead. Rachel spent the remained of her walk thinking about how she was going to juggle her parental situation.

She had pushed all thoughts of Karofsky's attack on her as far away as she could and would not entertain any thoughts of what events had transpired between them. Though going over to see Finn made it hard to keep those thoughts at bay. She was planning on getting pretty hot with Finn tonight so she could replace nice and happy memories of him touching her as opposed to Karofsky.

Rachel arrived at Finn's and nervously rang the doorbell. Kurt opened the door promptly in a fabulous sweater with some tight jeans. Even at home he looks like a model form Marc Jacobs latest campaign, Rachel thought. She was taken aback when Kurt pulled her into a hug.

"God Rachel, We were so worried. I thought that we were going to lose our resident diva!" Kurt said morosely. He had been worried and felt uneasy about keeping her panic attack a secret.

"I feel so terrible for ruining the sleepover," Rachel said with her eyes downcast.

"Don't be silly, it wouldn't have been a normal Saturday night for half of them if there wasn't a drunk girl passed out by a toilet around somewhere," Kurt said, trying to make light of the situation. Rachel laughed, that was probably true.

"I am worried about you though. You have had one hell of a week. Falling over at school and having a panic attack. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to someone," Kurt suggested.

Rachel immediately felt backed into a corner. She hated that Kurt had witnessed her having a panic attack and most definitely didn't want anyone else to know about that.

"Kurt I really want to thank you for your concern and not telling anyone about what happened in the bathroom, but I am ok. If anything happens to change that I will let you know," Rachel said, her show face intact.

'Ok hunni. Finn is downstairs by the way."

Rachel thanked Kurt and then proceeded to climb down the stairs as quickly as her rib would allow before knocking on Finn's door. He quickly opened it, embraced her and then launched into a monologue about how she had worried him and how she was to never do that again. Rachel finally managed to calm him down before manoeuvring him over to his bed; which wasn't all that hard. They were making out and things were getting pretty hot and Rachel decided she was more than ready to go to the next step. She had ensured the lights were out so he wouldn't see her bruises and therefore avoid any questioning. She gently pulled away from Finn before broaching the topic

"Finn, I love you. Nothing made me realise that more than today and I want to take things a bit further."

Finn was nothing but smiles. He had obviously been ready for a while; what teenage boy wouldn't be. But concern did wash over his face.

"Rach, are you sure you are ready?" Finn asked cautiously.

"Yes," was all Rachel said before she proceeded to take Finn's top off. In between making out he managed to unbutton her sweater and traced his fingers along her stomach. He was getting excited and so happy he was doing this with Rachel; someone he truly loved. Rachel grabbed his hands and pulled them to her breasts. He traced around her bra gently, before deciding it was time to tackle the unclasping of her bra. Despite his lack of experience it wasn't long before he had removed it and she was topless. He traced kisses from her neck down to her breasts and she couldn't help but feel excited. She was recreating how this should have happened and promised herself to only remember this time. They continued making out for a while, Finn mostly focusing on feeling her breasts before she decided she wanted him to remove his jeans.

"Finn, I think that I am ready to go down on you," Rachel said seductively.

Finn couldn't believe what he was hearing. Last week he had a tough time getting Rachel to take her top off and now she was ready to go down on him. He wasn't complaining, he just didn't want to rush her. After much reassurance from Rachel, Finn decided not to fight it. While Rachel worried about her technique and if she was good enough she realise that she was the first girl to do this to Finn so he would hopefully not know the difference between good and bad.

It wasn't long before Finn was unable to contain his excitement and motioned Rachel to stop. He grabbed the nearest tissue and came. He laid back on his bed, while Rachel nestled into his chest.

"Was I good?" Rachel asked nervously.

Finn looked into her eyes and could see how vulnerable she was. She wanted to please him and was scared that she hadn't.

"Rach, that was amazing! You are amazing. I love you. Not because of this, but because of you being you," Finn said, hoping to alleviate any of her stress.

Rachel was happy that she and Finn had taken the next step, and he hugged her constantly for the next few hours while they spoke about their hopes and dreams for getting out of Lima, before Kurt knocked on his door to let them know dinner was ready.

The pair freaked when they heard the knock, both still being mostly unclothed. Kurt hadn't entered though, so they hadn't been completely sprung. After they were dressed, Rachel said she better be getting home and wouldn't stay for dinner. She lied and said her dad was going to pick her up and was already on his way, so instructed Finn to sit and have dinner and she would see him tomorrow. He hugged her goodbye and she quietly left. The walk home provided Rachel with more solace. She mulled over the events and felt that she and Finn were now closer than ever and felt bad that she was keeping things from him. She reminded herself that the secrets were necessary in order to protect him.

Upon arriving home, Rachel's rib was beginning to hurt. She hadn't taken any medication and didn't plan on it. She wanted to endure the pain as punishment, so she decided that a hot bath was in order. She walked up to her bedroom and ran the bath. She then stripped her bed and made it up with fresh sheets. When her room was looking in prefect order again she stripped down and got into the bath. She then played out how tomorrow would go down. Hopefully everything would go back to normal and the glee kids would all be nice to her. Suddenly the thought of seeing Karofsky at school tomorrow terrified her. She would just have to act like nothing had happened between them and hopefully he would have the decency to leave her alone.