Author's note: Wow, this chapter was spectacularly long. I didn't plan for that to happen, but this is at least three or four times as long as chapter one from this story, and I think it's longer than the entirety of the first story I ever published. Anyway, if the length of this chapter surprises/inconveiniences/scares you, then sorry. And too bad, because it might happen again.
Night 7
I need to ask whether tasting colours and sounds is normal
Maybe all humans are like that
Or maybe all Endermen- I never asked
Kurt looked up to see the light peeking around the curtains start to fade. It was night now; he'd woken up before everyone else, instinctively waking up ready to chase intruding humans out of his forest. He'd been confused, not sure where he was, until he remembered.
Prison. Kimon rescuing him. Going to Nina's house.
Nina. Kurt whispered her name, tasting the bright, shining, forest green that came along with the word. Not all words had colours and tastes; most just tasted dull grey, apart from words that held special meaning to him, unfamiliar or otherwise. No name had ever had colour before, except Enderman names- those were always hot and purple, but that was because of the language, not the words.
Kurt shifted uncomfortably, and on the other side of the room, he heard someone else move. "Kurt?" Kimon whispered. "You awake too? It feels so weird trying to sleep during the day."
"It feels weird trying to sleep at night." Kurt said. Kimon moved again, then there was silence for a while. Until Kurt decided to go out on a limb and ask a question that had been bothering him for some time.
"Kimon, how can you tell if you're in love?"
Kimon said nothing, and after a few moments, Kurt realized that his cousin was smirking.
"You're making fun of me." he accused as quietly as he could.
"Sorry." Kimon said. "But I really don't know; it's probably different for everyone." Kurt sighed. This was clearly more complicated than he'd thought, with no real right answer. He sighed again.
Silence fell again, and Kimon was just drifting off to sleep again when someone knocked on the trapdoor. All four of them sat bolt upright, and Nina crawled out of bed as someone on the stairs called up "Nina? Could you let me in, please?" Nina had locked the trapdoor when they'd come up the previous night.
"I guess." Nina said. "What do you want, Dad?" She started to crawl over to the trapdoor, but Kurt reached out and put one arm in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. He gestured to one of his ears, then pointed at the trapdoor and the stairs behind.
Nina listened, wondering what Kurt was getting at. Then she heard the stairs creak- in multiple spots. She froze; there was more than one person on the stairs, and the second person couldn't have been Mrs. Dare, who had difficulty managing stairs at all.
Nina shot Kurt a look of fear, wondering who they were, why they were there, and how Kurt could have known. She gestured for everyone else to be quiet.
"I just need to talk with you for a bit." Mr. Dare said, and Nina caught the faintest of undertones to his voice. There was something he wasn't saying. Nina had never thought of her dad as a Baker Sympathizer, but she realized too late that his loyalties were in that direction.
"Sorry, Dad. I'm a little busy right now." Nina said, standing up. We need to get out! she mouthed, and Kurt and Kimon both nodded. Kurt crept over to the slanted window above Fanny's bed. He pulled back the curtains as quietly as he could, but they still made sound as the metal rod rotated in it's holders.
The trapdoor shook as someone slammed into it. Fanny jumped and made a terrified squeak. Kurt threw aside any pretences of trying to stay quiet and swung the window open with a bang.
Kimon slid out first, managing to get his footing quickly on the stepped roof. Kurt and Nina helped Fanny out next, then climbed out themselves. The trapdoor shook again as they started to make their way along the steep, wooden-step roofs that ran across the row of connected houses.
Kurt struggled to fight off déjà vu. Climbing out the attic window was exactly the same way he and Esi had escaped four years ago, on that night when the Bakers and so many others had come to get them. Kurt could still remember the fear that had pounded through his body as he half-carried his little sister to what had eventually become her death.
But now Kurt was with other people. This time, it was his mother that he was trying to keep from tripping and falling off the roof. They heard a yell behind them, and Kurt looked back to see Mr. Baker standing in the attic window. As Kurt watched, he started to climb out the window, instead of returning to the ground like he had four years before.
Then Fanny gave a scream as she tripped and fell. She grabbed Kurt by one hand as she fell, but she was too heavy for him to pull up and he fell, too, onto his stomach. With one arm, he barely managed to keep himself from sliding off, but Fanny was holding on to his other arm, his grip the only thing keeping her from falling to the cobblestones below.
Kurt struggled to try and pull his mom up, even though there was no way he could do it one-handed. Fanny was a small person, but not that small.
Kurt felt the edge of a sword press into the back of his neck and he froze, feeling terror for the first time in years. Not fear of whatever physical pain the sword-wielder could inflict on him, but fear of letting Fanny go.
He looked down, estimating the drop to be five or six blocks. For him, that would have been a risk worth taking -he could have walked away from that fall- but for someone older, like Fanny, it was a dangerous distance.
"Let go." Mr. Baker hissed. A small crowd had gathered, despite the late hour, and they could all see the tortured look on Kurt's face. None of them cared, though- he was just a hostile mob, a biological mistake. Who cared what he felt?
"No. I won't." Kurt said, as he slid a few more inches towards the drop. He made eye contact with Fanny, and was shocked to see her mouth the words drop me.
"No." Kurt whispered, feeling her try to let go of his hand. He squeezed tighter.
Fanny shook her head. Drop me, she mouthed again. Drop me! Finally, she managed to slip her hand out of his, and Kurt grabbed at thin air as she fell towards the cobblestones. "No!"
He didn't see what happened to her, because Mr. Baker grabbed him by the back of his jacket and yanked him upright, turning him around. Kurt struggled in his grip, but Mr. Baker was older, and he had the weapon. Kurt felt the blade still pressing into the back of his neck, the pain getting sharper as Mr. Baker pressed harder.
"Die, Kurt Hunter." Mr. Baker whispered.
"Nina, I don't want you to get hurt- just please come here." Mr. Dare pleaded. Nina shook her head, taking a step backwards.
"Why do Kurt and Kimon have to die?" she asked, taking another step away as her father walked towards her, arms open. Nina couldn't take her eyes off Kurt, who was barely keeping Fanny from falling.
Suddenly, Kurt jerked forwards, as if he was trying to catch something. "No!" he shouted, and Nina's blood ran cold. She'd really liked Fanny, although she had suspicions that there was more to the woman than she expected; was this the woman who'd maintained an equal relationship with an Enderman? Or the woman who was broken because four years ago, her village had tried to execute her children?
Nina shook her head, turning back towards her father. "Do you really believe that they deserve to die? A woman and two teenage boys? Oh- and what about Esi Hunter?" Nina challenged. "I know where you were four years ago- don't try to pretend. I saw everything out my window."
Mr. Dare froze, as if Nina had slapped him. She continued, pressing her advantage even though it hurt to be doing this.
"I know why we moved- because you didn't want to live near the forest anymore. You didn't want to live near where it happened." Nina took a deep breath, letting everything she'd seen and heard about that night come out. "You helped kill a six-year-old girl! Half-Enderman or not, how was that right?"
Mr. Dare started to shake, and he turned away. Nina looked and saw Kurt struggling in Mr. Baker
's grip. She listened just long enough to hear Mr. Baker say "Die, Kurt Hunter," then she ran towards the fight.
Nina grabbed Mr. Baker's forearm just as he drew the blade back in preparation for striking. He looked surprised; he had been so focused on Kurt, so convinced that Mr. Dare could deal with his rogue daughter, that he hadn't considered her a threat.
Nina wrenched Mr. Baker's arm away from Kurt, deliberately putting pressure on the bone she'd broken a few months ago in her first-ever encounter with the police and Mr. Baker. They were almost the same thing; Mr. Baker was technically a civilian, but he had the town of Bending River in the palm of his hand, which was why only Kurt was arrested that other day.
Mr. Baker yelled, and in that moment of pain, he relaxed his grip just enough for Kurt to get out. Kurt backed away, standing next to Nina, as Mr. Baker raised his sword again. Out of the corner of his eye, Kurt saw Mr. Dare turn around again, wielding a sword but looking decidedly nervous about it.
"Fight or flight?" Nina asked as they backed up slowly. Nina knew that they were more evenly matched than spectators might have thought; the precarious footing and their natural agility made up for the fact that they were unarmed. Their opponents would have trouble fighting on the slanted ground -in the dark, no less- and if they fell, it would take them a long time to recover. Kurt and Nina could probably walk away from a fall, although it depended on how they landed.
"Where's Kimon?" Kurt asked, looking behind him.
"He ran!" Nina said. Kurt's face tightened, and his eyes glowed a bit brighter.
"Fight." he said, just as Mr. Dare aimed a sword thrust at his head. Kurt ducked, then grabbed Mr. Dare's arm, pulling him off-balance.
"Don't hurt him!" Nina shouted as she dodged a sword swing from Mr. Baker. She stepped out of the way, then stared as Mr. Baker walked past her, intent on reaching Kurt, who had Nina's father in a headlock.
"Kurt!" Nina shouted, diving at the backs of Mr. Baker's legs. His knees buckled under the force of Nina's tackle, and he fell. Nina hesitated, then gave him an extra shove, pushing him off the roof.
Kurt's eyes were flickering, something that happened when he was unsure of what he was going to do. Nina walked up to him and pulled him away, starting to run down the stepped roofs again. "Come on!" she said, her hand remaining on Kurt's shoulder a split second longer than was necessary.
Kurt only held back slightly before following, and as they ran, Nina occasionally stumbling in the dark and Kurt always reaching out to steady her, Kurt's thoughts returned to Fanny and Kimon.
Kimon had run, and Fanny had fallen. Kurt knew that she wouldn't have died from the fall, but what had happened to her after that?
Kurt felt sick, and he wondered why. This feeling of caring about someone wasn't as unfamiliar as it used to be, but he hadn't expected that worry, another strange word, would actually cause him physical pain.
It was then that revelation struck Kurt. In Endermen, everything was a biological reaction- hunting, fighting, any feelings they had for a fellow Enderman who had died. Why wouldn't humans have similar reactions to the same and different feelings? Kurt remembered Darker than day saying that he'd felt ill when one of his close friends hadn't returned from a foray into Bending River, and although Endermen didn't have words to describe that -they never needed to- Kurt now knew exactly what he meant.
Maybe humans and Endermen aren't as different as we pretend, Kurt thought. Nina stumbled, and Kurt grabbed her wrist to keep her upright.
"Thanks." she said.
There was a pause. "You're welcome." Kurt said. Nina said nothing; to her, what was an unnatural phrase to him was simply common courtesy. On the other hand, maybe there are differences; ones I should probably relearn, Kurt grudgingly admitted.
"You can let go now."
Kurt looked down and realized that he was still holding Nina's wrist. He let go hurriedly, feeling his face start to turn red.
Then they reached the end of the row of houses, sparing Kurt any further embarrassment. They both jumped, Nina twisting her ankle, Kurt landing neatly. They started to run, sprinting through the darkened streets towards the forest; by some unspoken consent, they knew that that was where they were going.
Kurt felt guilty about leaving Fanny behind; 'guilt' was a dirty brown, and tasted like a mouthful of damp leaves.
Finally they reached the forest, and they were lucky to not encounter anyone on the way. "Where are we going?" Nina asked as she followed Kurt.
Kurt felt his human side slipping away as they walked into the forest, his Enderman side taking over. The few human traits he'd picked up suddenly felt as alien as the brighter, sharper-tasting words.
"My home." he said, struggling to make it come out in English. The animal inside him, which had been sleeping for what felt like so long, wanted to know what he was doing with this girl, letting her in his forest, no matter how cute she was.
"Are you alright?" Nina asked nervously. She could feel something about Kurt changing; he'd seemed so… so human when she'd told him off for holding her hand, blushing just like a normal boy. But now, she could feel his human-ness leaving, and she was very much hoping he wouldn't attack her.
I bet most girls don't have to deal with this from boys who have crushes on them, Nina thought with a sigh. They just flirt and watch the boys make fools of themselves. Here I am, hoping the guy who likes me doesn't kill me…
Suddenly, it struck Nina how funny this was, and she started to laugh. Kurt jumped, looking at her like she was from outer space, but she couldn't stop. Doubled over with laughter, Nina tried to stop laughing long enough to breathe. It didn't work.
Kurt watched Nina with an almost distracted look on his face. The animal inside him was screaming for him to attack, and his human side was yelling "No!" at least as loud, fighting to keep him from doing something he would regret later.
Kurt pulled out the notebook, hoping that writing would help him make a little sense of the conflicting emotions inside his skull.
Nina is in my forest with me
I invited her in here but it still feels wrong
Like everything human in me that I collected in Bending River is draining away
Like I'm becoming less human
More Enderman
Kurt looked up, giving Nina another quizzical look, which only made her laugh harder. When he looked back down, there was a question written in the book that shocked him out of his internal battle, at least for a few moments.
Who says I can't be both?
Kurt stood there, staring at that sentence, until he was startled out of his thoughtfulness by an Enderman -Darker than day- appearing next to him. He hurriedly put the book away in his inventory.
"We have found a human boy. He claims to be a friend of yours, although he is remarkably similar to your brother's murderer." Darker than day said. He meant 'sister', but Endermen always used male pronouns- words for 'sister' and 'she' simply didn't exist in that language.
Kurt groaned. "He is a friend- he's my cousin, and unlike with Kave, I'm willing to admit we're related. Tell me you didn't kill him, Brother." That was simply the way Endermen addressed each other, even though it wasn't really accurate in Kurt's case. Kurt felt the hot, purple taste of the Enderman language fill his mouth, feeling odd after the dull grey taste of human speech.
"No, he's still alive, although he's swearing and crying." Darker than day said, looking a bit sheepish, which was quite an accomplishment for an Enderman. "Actually, the crying is the only reason we didn't kill him right away- you know how water hurts."
Kurt nodded, and Darker than day started to walk away, presumably in the direction Kimon was in. After a few steps, however, the Enderman froze.
"Is he with you?" the Enderman asked, gesturing at Nina. Kurt nodded, not bothering to give an explanation. Darker than day hesitated, then kept walking. Kurt and Nina followed.
"What was that about?" Nina hissed, sounding a bit scared. It was one thing to know that Kurt was half-Enderman, but it was another to hear Enderman sounds coming out of his mouth.
"The Endermen found Kimon." Kurt said, struggling to make it come out in English. It had been a challenge to ask Darker than day not to kill Kimon, and Kurt's internal war showed no signs of letting up. "He's crying pretty bad, apparently, which is why he's not dead yet."
Nina laughed, and just for a moment, Kurt felt himself calm down inside. Kurt's human side, the part almost independent of his consciousness, grabbed onto that feeling with both hands, trying to make it last. It was like holding onto smoke, though- all too quickly, it went away.
Is this love? he thought. When someone can make me feel human? It was so confusing.
Up ahead, Kurt heard someone crying. He started walking faster, finally entering a clearing. Kimon was sitting on the ground, crying and swearing -obviously at the end of his sanity- and there were quite a few Endermen standing around the edges of the clearing, watching Kimon with amazed bewilderment.
"Are you alright?" Nina asked, not really believing that Kimon, who was not only the identical twin of Kave Baker but a full year older than her and Kurt, was that broken.
Kimon looked up in shock, then leapt to his feet and ran over. Kimon grabbed Kurt in a tight hug, finally giving up attempts to speak even semi-coherently.
"Ow! Damn it!" Kurt shouted, pushing Kimon off. Nina looked at him in shock; she'd seen Kurt get all tense when Kimon had hugged him, but she hadn't expected him to react so violently.
"Ow… second time in a week someone's hugged me while crying…" she heard Kurt mutter, through clenched teeth.
Kimon tried to apologize, but Kurt didn't listen. "I can deal, man." he said abruptly, turning away and starting to walk off. "Come on."
Kimon and Nina followed Kurt, some ways behind their friend.
"I- I can't hug you, can I?" Kimon asked Nina. Nina looked at him funny.
"That would be pretty creepy." she said. "And why are you so… not holding it together very well? And why did Kurt… Oh." Nina finally made the connection. "He gets hurt by water? Just like an Enderman? Wow."
"Yeah." Kimon said, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "And I'm…" Kimon sniffed. "It was just so scary, finally realizing that my dad wanted to kill me… On top of- on top of everything else…" Kimon started crying again, and Nina fell behind to give him some space.
Finally, they reached Kurt's tree house. Nina refused Kimon's offer of help and climbed up the tree by herself. She found Kurt's house almost obsessively neat, something she hadn't expected, with two spare beds set up, aside from the one where Kurt was curled up under his blankets, watching them.
"Fanny and I stayed here last… no, two nights ago." Kimon wiped his nose again. "We stayed at your house last night."
Nina nodded and got into one of the beds, while Kimon crawled into the other.
Kurt watched them- still struggling with the emotions inside him, he wasn't sure whether it was safe to let them stay in his house. The last thing he wanted was to hurt his friends.
Kurt froze. Friends? Somehow, the sky-blue word didn't feel unnatural when he described Kimon and Nina, in spite of how confused he was. It felt… right.
Kurt pulled out his notebook.
I'm definitely changing
It feels right calling Kimon and Nina friends
I'm still all confused inside
It's like my human side and Enderman side are fighting
Fighting over which one I get to be
This time, Kurt was watching as he wrote something without thinking about it- he watched his own hand write a sentence, that echoed more certainty than he had felt since Fanny and Kimon had shown up in his forest.
I can be both.
