Chapter 7: Truth


Grabbing the serum, Draco looked back at Hermione, "I can only assume this is actually veritaserum and not something else?"

Hermione considered this. "Oh I see, I'm the one not to trust right? Malfoy, I don't have any other motives but to hear the truth and I wouldn't waste time like that. We have a war to fight..."

Draco rolled his eyes, but saw that she was watching him closely. Holding her gaze, he sipped the potion. He had anticipated the serum to be tasteless, but instead, he tasted something he had never added to his vial before: a hint of spearmint.

She added flavor? Wow, I'm impressed. Did she notice my toothpaste flavor? Did she just decide to do something nice for me? A moment later, he was struck with another thought, Or maybe she can prove I drank it if my breath smells like-Wait, maybe she thinks I have bad breath. Crap. He glanced up to notice her watching him. Okay, I need to focus and try not ramble. Setting the emptied vial on the table in front of him, Draco made himself comfortable and awaited her questions.

Hermione glanced at the vial to confirm he drank it, then back to study him. She almost expected him to act differently now that he had taken it, though he appeared only slightly fidgety. He rubbed the pad of his finger over the bed of his nails as she had seen him do before. She could not decide if it indicated his nervousness, or his concentration. Remembering she only had an hour to ask him all her questions, she began, "Ready? Let's get started. Question 1: What is your name?"

"Draco Lucius Malfoy."

"What school did you attend last?"

"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Who are your parents?"

"Narcissa Black Malfoy and Lucius Malfoy."

"What is your favorite color?"

"Green, but not just Slytherin green, a lot of different shades of green..."

Draco could feel himself saying too much, Ugh, she doesn't care about your shades of green, keep it together!

Hermione raised her eyebrows at the detailed answer, which seemed slightly out of character for him.

"What is your favorite food?"

"There are a lot of things I like, but when I'm hungry, my go-to is an apple."

Hermione paused at this mention of one of the three smells from her Amortentia scent. She stored the fact away in her memory, resolving to think on it later. For now, she knew she needed to continue with her questions.

Draco noticed her pause, which he thought strange, considering his answer. Why is that so strange? I like apples… is that weird to her?

"Your favorite potion?"

"Felix Felicis: the ingredients are hard to come by, not to mention I could use some luck these days..."

Is there no controlling myself? Keep it together, man...

Hermione grinned, he was visibly uncomfortable. His serum must be top-quality to make him open up like that. She wished he would just say what was on his mind more often, as maybe they would not bicker so much.

"Have you ever cheated on an exam?"

"No."

Hermione raised her eyebrows at his answer, not because she thought he would have needed to cheat, but because school rumors had implied that he and his Slytherin buddies had stolen homework from other students. His answer made her feel a bit ashamed to have believed rumors, especially since she and Harry had been the subject of so many before.

"What form does your patronus take?"

"I've never attempted that charm, but I have always been curious. I figured it would probably be a dragon."

Draco chastised himself again, Stop babbling and just answer the questions!

At first, Hermione was surprised, but then remembered that only Harry had really taken the time to teach his friends how to conjure a patronus charm. She really was hoping to get that answer, supposing it would would be a ferret, dragon or a snake.

"Have you ever used my hair in polyjuice potion?"

"No."

Draco was aware of the likelihood that she had found the stash of hair he had collected in his case. He had known she would, and had taken the chance that she might be angry with him for it. To his surprise, she seemed calm about it so far. The truth was, that while he did have a batch of polyjuice potion in his collection, it was strictly for emergencies and he only kept it around because his mother had insisted. It was one of the few potions he possessed that he had never made or tested before.

"How long have you been working for You-Know-Who?"

"I was sixteen when I received this dark mark." Rolling up his sleeve, Draco revealed the dark skull and snake tattooed against his pale forearm, then quickly covered it back up.

Hermione could not help but feel a bit bothered by it, after all, his aunt had the same mark on her arm.

Though, Draco was not as malicious as his aunt, at least that she knew of. Seeing it imprinted on him reminded her of where he had come from, and she attempted not to think in detail of all that he has seen.

Her next question made her nervous but she tried keep their interaction quick and factual. Though, what would she do if he answered, yes? He did approve of these questions, so he must already know what he would answer.

"Have you ever killed anyone?"

"No."

Hermione internally felt relieved. She had been nervous to ask that question out of fear that Draco had actually followed through any Death Eater's orders of killing Muggles or Muggleborns.

"Do you know where any of You-Know-Who's horcruxes are?"

"I don't know for sure of any, though I suspect his pet snake, Nagini, could be one of them."

"Do you intend to help Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix to defeat You-Know-Who?"

"Yes."

Hermione had to take a deep breath for the next question. She admitted to herself that she almost did not want to know this answer, especially if the answer was going to be 'yes'.

"Do you dislike Muggles?"

"No."

It was an easy answer for Draco, but apparently not for Hermione. She kept her face low and focused on her parchment. He had an inkling of what she was thinking, especially how her next question left a sharp bite in her voice.

"Did you look through the things in my bag?"

"No."

Hermione was hoping to catch him on that one. The next question she honestly had no idea what the answer would be, but she had already prepared a defense for why she would ask it. It would show his connection to other people, or lack of it, or so she would argue.

"Have you ever been in a romantic relationship?"

"No."

She moved quickly on to the next question, pretend she was not too interested in that last answer.

"What is your greatest fear?"

"That the darkness is the only way forward for me."

There was a pause and for a moment, all was quiet. Hermione suddenly felt that maybe this little interrogation was more private than expected. She only assumed he knew the answers ahead of time, and expected all of them to be yes or no answers, then she could make a quick judgement on trusting Draco Malfoy. This was not the case.

Draco squinted slightly at his own answer. Though he had known that question was coming, having seen it on her list beforehand, he had assumed his answer would simply be Lord Voldemort. Clearly his subconscious had a different truth.

Hermione tilted her head inquisitively; it was not an actual question but the serum seemed to force an explanation from Draco regardless.

"Remember Defense class in third year, when Professor Lupin had that boggart we were meant to fight?... Well, on my turn everything went black. The only thing I could see, from the corner of my eye, were other students together, pointing. They were pointing towards the darkness, as if to banish me to it… Except you Granger: you were turned around, maybe avoiding me. When I tried turn to see everyone, I saw only blackness." He shook his head, "You know, that little moment before you enter a dark room, before you can turn on a light, where you have no idea what's ahead of you? Have you ever noticed that split-second of fear you have, before turning on a light? But the feeling stretches, it's endless, because there isn't a light to turn on."

Hermione was in awe. She had never heard Draco speak in such depths of anything before. She was lost in his despair just then, and could tell he regretted speaking of it.

"It felt like hours had gone by before Lupin must have noticed something. The next thing I knew, I was back in class, everyone was as they were, waiting in line for their turn and giving me strange looks. The hours were apparently only fleeting seconds, enough time for Lupin to realize I couldn't defeat my fear."

Draco could not believe he had just told her all of that. He tilted his head backward and slid his hands down his face as if to wipe away his embarrassment. He had never told anyone about his boggart before... and then there was the part about her!

Hermione could see that he was visibly squeamish. Finally, she spoke, "That sounds… terrifying, Malfoy."

Physical embarrassment radiated off him. Recognizing that she could not say anything to make him feel better, she quickly skipped to a lighter question. She cleared her throat, "Do you listen to music? If so, which genres?"

Draco slightly sat up, trying to shake off the dark haze of the last answer he had given. He wondered if she had ever heard of such a fear. Perhaps Potter's were in line with his. Ready to move on, he answered, "I like both wizard and Muggle music, particularly anything with a piano."

Hermione nodded, thinking he had good taste. She had not been expecting that. She supposed he would listen to some sort of grunge rock, something with aggression, to match his. The next question was really for her own curiosity because she kept forgetting to ask, and vital to her survival, "Where exactly are we located right now?"

Relieved to be finished, and with an easy answer, he supplied, "Chatham Island, New Zealand."

Hermione froze and her expression dropped, her face growing pale. Her eyes darted out toward the opening of the tent and then back to Draco. Her parents were in New Zealand. Those she had told about the memory charm, had been told they were in Australia, just to be safe.

How could Malfoy have taken me here, out of all the places in the world? Her fear quickly morphed to anger and she abruptly got up from the table. He must have used legilimency on me when I was passed out!

He was taken back when she abruptly stood from her seat. "What? Do you hate New Zealand or something? Too far from England?"

Hermione was standing now and looking down angrily at Draco. Sarcastically, she responded, "Oh, like you really don't know?"

Draco was confused but, still under the serum, it forced an honest answer from him, "No. Know what?"

In her paranoid state, Hermione forgot he was under serum, but was beginning to question either the serum or his abilities to counter it. She was furious that the one secret she thought she kept safe, had already been discovered. She hesitated, but she was impatient and needed to know what game he was playing. "My parents are here!"

She watched him to see if he would break, or smirk and reveal everything he was up to, but he just looked right back at her, waiting for her to explain. Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath. If he was able to lie about everything, why go through this much trouble? Why not use her to get Harry for the Dark Lord? What would Draco gain? Maybe Harry's gone, and they need answers from her, and her parents as leverage? Why waste all of this time then?

"Granger…?"

She opened her eyes and saw Draco looking at her with concern.

"What do you want with them? It's no use anyway, they've been charmed to forget."

Draco appeared confused, but was forced to answer all the same, "Granger, I'm not here for your parents."

Hermione stared down at him, "So you happened to take us to a place where they're near? I place that even Harry and Ron didn't know about?"

"Yes, I suppose. Honestly, Granger, because even if I wanted to lie, I couldn't. I had no idea your parents were here."

"Well they're not here literally, but I'm hardly going to give you details."

Draco shook his head to ponder how it was possible. He was giving her cruciatus eyes and he was certain that she was seconds away from granting him the honor of joining the Bloody Baron. He needed to calm her or get her off the topic of suspecting him at least.

"Did you alter them with a memory charm?"

This was a sensitive topic because she was disgusted that she had to alter her parents memories at all. She assumed by the way Draco was keeping his eyes on the table that he was making a judgement about her doing this to her own parents. The nerve of him judging her when he was an actual Death Eater got her even more heated.

"Yes, I did what I had to do to keep them safe, okay? We've all had to make sacrifices, Malfoy!"

Draco could not understand why she had become so angry over a coincidence but fed off of her aggression. The serum did not allow him to hold back. "Oh you don't think I understand sacrifice? Look at me, I was a pureblood puppet for most my life! I bet you just assumed I have always wanted to be that way- even now, you probably think I'm up to something, don't you? I can see you thinking! Look, ask me anything! I've still got another thirty minutes of serum to prove myself to you."

Draco watched her as she paced in front of him, her eyes wide. It was clear by the way she clenched her fists, that something was eating away at her thoughts.

"Come on, ask me!" he goaded. "Do you think I brought us here on purpose because your parents happen to be on a nearby island? What reason would I have to do that?"

But Hermione remained silent, looking down at the parchment in her hands. It was against her nature not to follow their original agreement about questions on the list, but she was fuming, her heart racing, everything was bubbling to the surface.

Irritated that she was not responding to him, Draco prodded, "Look, ask me anything. Forget about the parchment rule. Fuck it, just- I can tell you want to ask something, so just ask!"

Rising to his challenge and breaking their own rules, was one thing… but she hardly realized the question she spat out, until it was too late to take it back, "If you don't hate Muggles, then why me?"

Stunned, Draco quickly ascertained that this was no longer just about her parents. No, she had gone straight for the elephant in the room. Of course, the serum forced him to answer right away, "Because you never answered my letter!"

There was a pause, as if even the static in the air stood still.

"What...? What letter?"

Draco realized the way he had blurted that out was very confusing. He exhaled and found his mind tighten and going to a distant place, something he was trained to do when he did not want someone to enter his thoughts. He had been trained in occlumency by his mother and aunt, and had practiced often after the Dark Lord had taken over his home. He chastised himself, This is not the time, just tell her.

He broke his concentration when he looked into her eyes. He exhaled and gave in to the serum, "I wrote you a letter. Right, sounds strange-"

He paused when she appeared as if he was speaking a different language with her eyebrows low in skepticism.

"Please sit down and I'll explain- as if I have a choice."

Hermione studied him and then hesitantly sat back down. She figured they had about twenty-five minutes left.

In all her perplexity, the only certainty she held to was to gain as much intel as she could while he was still under the serum.

Draco continued while he nervously rubbed his nail beds again, "I wrote you a letter the summer after first year. Eventually, I found out that you never responded to it because you didn't receive it."

Hermione crossed her arms over her chest, and in an attempt to be civil, queried, "Could you please explain further?"

Having no choice, he did. "I know I was a prick to you as a kid, but I wrote to you because I thought we could still…" Draco caught himself before he revealed too much, and tried to hold back the babbling effect of the serum. He shifted in his seat and tried again, "I didn't really understand just how deep my family's pureblood-loyalty crap ran, and I wanted-" His restraint against the serum was slowly becoming easier for him. Perhaps it's wearing off, he thought.

Sensing Hermione's suspicious glare, Draco did not want to lose whatever confidence he had gained with her. He had to look away to finish. "You were so smart, Granger, and you seemed to get along with other boys. I thought, 'why not me?'... so I wrote you. When I never heard back, I was annoyed. It was my first attempt to be friends with a girl - and not just any girl, a Muggleborn girl - and it messed me up. So in second year, all the while assuming you had rejected my letter, I tried to cover up my bruised ego by being as mean as I could to you."

Hermione's eyebrows were scrunched low in suspicion, "How did you know I didn't get the letter?"

"Well I didn't know at first, not for that whole year! Then the next summer I was looking for a book in my father's study, and got to snooping around. There it was, on his desk under some other papers. It had been opened and crumpled up, so I can only assume my father had filtered through any outgoing mail. He clearly didn't approve of it, though he never brought it up to me."

Hermione quickly uncrossed her arms and her hands dropped hard on the table top with frustration. "So you found it, saw that I hadn't actually rejected your letter, and still you were an arrogant prat to me for the next few years?"

"If you recall, by then it was pretty much too late, given how things had escalated with Potter. Then my family was constantly reminding me not to interact with Muggleborns at school... My only rewards in life were trying to please people around me, much like I assume you felt rewarded for your good grades or house points." He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms in a huff. "I can give you all sorts of excuses for my behavior, Granger, but between you and me, deep down I assumed that you were too proud and too good to be seen with someone as low as me. Looking back on everything, I was pathetic and desperate. "

A long silence followed his answer. Hermione thought back to what he had told her about his boggart: had Draco Malfoy simply managed to hide his true feelings and his worst fears for that long? Could she really have misjudged him so completely for so many years? Feeling she might be sick, she quickly freed herself from the conversation, "I need to-...excuse me." and briskly walked out of the tent.