Hey again, here's another chapter. Not many things happen in this one since it's one of the chapters that had to be done for the sake of the plot.
Enjoy.
By the way, thank you so much for those wonderful reviews. They always make me smile!
Disclaimer; I do not own Bleach or any of the characters.
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Baby...
Seems like everywhere I go I see you...
From your eyes, your smile,
It's like I breathe you...
Helplessly I reminisce
Don't want to...
Compare nobody to you.
Boy, I try to catch myself but I'm out of control!
Your sexiness is so appealing, I can't let it go!
Know that I can't get over you,
'Cause everything I see is you
And I don't want no substitute,
Baby I swear it's déjà vu!
Ichigo nodded with his head along with the song's beat, his hand furiously maneuvering on the paper in front of him, without actually realizing what he was drawing. That often happened when he was in "The Zone"; the moment of such enormous inspiration everything around just disappeared, senses and mind all hyperactive while he just... Created. There were no other words to describe it.
He knew it was a bit of an embarrassment singing along with Beyonce of all artists, since he was a big fan of hard rock and heavy metal music, but it was that particular song that had triggered the orgasm of inspiration he was currently having.
Maybe because it reminded him of a special someone he knew...
Baby I can't go anywhere...
Without thinking that you're there.
Seems like you're everywhere, it's true,
Gotta be having déjà vu!
'Cause in my mind I want you here,
Get on the next plane, I don't care.
Is it because I'm missing you?
That I'm having déjà vu?
Ichigo put down his colorful pencil and stared at the picture he had finished before he sighed in defeat. He had made a picture of Grimmjow. Again. So far, he had made four paintings of the blue haired man; one with the man snowboarding, coursing down a glossy hill of white snow, one with the blue haired man in the shower and under the hot water, very much naked, with his eyes closed in bliss while he washed his perfectly blue hair... That one had to be Ichigo's favorite; Grimmjow was so sexy like this, with all that water droplets and the soap sliding down his muscular body, licking every available surface and damn if Ichigo wasn't jealous of the lucky water.
Woah, he had issues...
The other image presented a shirtless Grimmjow, with only a pair of black sweat pants on. The blunet had his back turned at Ichigo so that the sexy, gothic tattoo on his back was visible. Last but not least, the final drawing, the one Ichigo had just finished, had Grimmjow in a full blown black suit, a bow tie and a blood-red rose in his hand, the motion capturing him as if he was giving the flower to someone, with the biggest and flashiest smile on his face.
It was pathetic, wasn't it? And the worst part was that Ichigo had drawn all of them on the notepad Grimmjow would see during their next session. He was still contemplating on whether or not to tear the pages off and pretend he hadn't created them.
Ever since their last session on Wednesday, Ichigo hadn't been able to think of anything else but the blue haired therapist. He also found himself nervous and excited about the following day, Saturday, when they would be having their next meeting. He wanted to see Grimmjow like crazy. He had already missed the man.
Ugh, he had it really bad.
Thankfully, the day before, Renji was kind enough to call and invite Ichigo over to his house to hang out, to have dinner and drink a few beers, along with Rukia and her boyfriend, Kaien Shiba, who happened to be Ichigo's cousin too. That would be a very good distraction because Ichigo was about to shoot himself so that he would stop thinking about Grimmjow-related stuff.
Like the things the blunet had told him during their session...
Ah, damn, those few words kept ringing in Ichigo's head and made his body tingle. Grimmjow had said that he found Ichigo interesting and his personality fascinating. He had also been oh so kind to remind Ichigo that he shouldn't let the need for pleasing his fans overwhelm the personal needs.
Grimmjow seemed like he genuinely cared for him.
Aaaaw. Please don't tell him that the blunet was just being a good therpist!
Ichigo groaned and closed the drawing book, standing up from his chain and heading to the kitchen. He poured a glass of water which he downed in a few gulps and then placed it into the sink before he sighed again.
Grimmjow was everywhere; in his thoughts, in his dreams... Ichigo was ashamed to admit that he had another shameless dream about Grimmjow and this time the blue haired man was sucking him off to oblivion. Although it wasn't a wet dream like the previous one, that didn't mean the oranget didn't wake up with a boner harder than cement. He also didn't have to... finger himself anymore in order to come.
Shit, he was so untouched he had become sensitive like a fucking virgin. Rukia was right.
"I'm losing it," he mumbled and poured himself another glass of water.
It was true; he was losing his mind. It wasn't like him to lust after a guy who he barely even knew that bad. Not only that, but Ichigo was also wondering about all kinds of things such as; What was Grimmjow's favorite color? His favorite food? Could the man cook? Hell, if he could cook, Ichigo would nosebleed to death. He shuddered at the mere thought and hit his head on the countertop a few times.
"Stop, stop, stop," he muttered, each word accompanied with a small thud.
Once Ichigo stopped banging his head, he stayed, face on the black surface and he tugged his orange hair in desperation. Sucking a deep, calming breath, he straightened up and cleared his throat, reaching down for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. Then followed his sweat pants, only to find out that he had forgotten to put underwear on. Ichigo sighed. Eh, what was the point of wearing underwear anyway? He was gonna take them off to either have a shower or masturbate.
Once completely naked, Ichigo placed his pjs on the bed neatly and then walked to his bathroom to take a quick shower for Renji's. He had two and a half hours until the set time but he wanted some time to... care for himself, as Grimmjow had put it.
Hey, stop thinking about Grimmjow!, he chided.
Anyway. Ichigo stopped for a moment before he entered the shower to observe his reflection on the mirror. His hair was in a total mess, but that was normal so it was okay. He had stubble growing on his chin, so he had to shave. Then his eyes travelled a little lower towards his chest and cringed a little at the sight; he was so undefined and unfit. His abs too. But he wasn't totally unattractive; all he needed was a tiny bit of exercise and he'd be fine.
Attractive enough to get Grimmjow to notice him.
Hey! Shut up with Grimmjow already!, he mentally scolded and scowled at his reflection. But he relaxed his characteristics almost instantly, poking the spot between his ever married eyebrows.
I gotta stop scowling so much, I'll get wrinkles. According to Karin.
Ichigo sighed in defeat and turned to the shower. He was turning into a fucking girl. Okay, he was gay but not a freaking girl!
Under the hot water, he managed to relax a little and get his overly active thoughts in some sort of order. And at Renji's it'd be even better, distracted by Rukia and her boyfriend, as well as listen to Shuuhei ranting about medical shit Ichigo didn't care about, yet it was pretty interesting to hear about the hospital adventures...
Yeah, there was a good plan to distract his hyperactive mind.
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He liked it at Renji's; it was warm, cozy and familiar, family-like. A little bit too couple-y for Ichigo's liking, however he couldn't bring himself to complain. It was nice to watch the people he cared about being happy since it rubbed off to him and he was happy along with them.
The food was awesome too; Shuuhei may be a med student and he didn't have too much time at his disposal, however, he was an amazing chef. The brunet had cooked for them his famous spaghetti carbonara and Ichigo swore his mouth had an orgasm once he tasted the food.
No wonder Renji was still with the guy. If you wanted Renji's heart, you had to satisfy his stomach first.
Rukia was really pretty that night too. Maybe because she was smiling a lot more than she normally did and Ichigo knew exactly who to blame. Kaien. The raven haired male, who, surprisingly, looked almost identical to Ichigo minus the orange hair, made the bitchy woman really happy. They'd been together for a year or so and Rukia was still all over him, as if they had just started dating. It was fun to watch. Kaien didn't mind one bit either; he pulled her in his arms and kissed her - a little too often if you asked Ichigo - he teased her and tickled her a lot etc, etc.
Everything was good, nice and shit however Ichigo felt like the third wheel. Well, fifth wheel in that case.
When was the last time he had a relationship like that? Come to think of it, he never really had a long term relationship, only short ones and flings. He was too finicky and picky with his partners to the point that he pushed them away before he even got used to them. Yet again, all of his relationships lacked one major point.
Thrill.
They were boring, absolutely fucking dull. The sex too. He never had skirts of excitement disrupting his heart beat, never felt that jolt of pleasure surging his body, leaving him heaving and high for hours.
That was why he was so enthralled with his specialist. Grimmjow not only was drop dead gorgeous, but he also had that mysterious aura which pulled Ichigo like a magnet. The blunet seemed passionate and rough yet again, he must have a more delicate, more gentleman-like side.
Just like a diamond.
"Oi, Ichigo," a deep masculine voice called out to him and snapped him out of his musings, "Whachu thinkin' about man? Yer smilin' like a creep."
Ichigo's brown eyes fell on his beloved cousin and he smirked before sipping from his glass of wine. "You really wanna know, Kaien?"
The brunet chuckled and shook his head. "Ah, Ichigo. Is sex always in yer mind?"
"I don't think he thinks about sex," Rukia intervened with a sneaky smile, "Well, not directly anyway."
Renji and Shuuhei just entered the living room with five bottles of beer in hand, passing them around to their guests before sitting on the comfy couch, close to each other.
"What's she sayin' Ich?", Renji asked with a confused frown. Ichigo smiled at his friend and shrugged.
"Nothing much," he said, "I just have my heart stolen by a gorgeous man and it's baaaad."
"Really?", Kaien exclaimed with wide, disbelieving eyes, "You of all people?"
"Yup."
"So he's a top model or something?", Shuuhei asked with a sarcastic smirk. Ichigo mock-glared at the brunet.
"No, smartass," Ichigo gritted and slouched lower in his seat, "He's a normal human being and I talk to him twice a week."
"Why's twice a week?", Ichigo's red haired friend asked with a knowing chuckle, "What, is he yer therapist or somethin'?"
Ichigo blinked at the man in confusion. How did Renji know? Had he told the redhead before? "Spot on Renji. Ya get a candy."
Three pairs of wide eyes stared blankly at him, whereas Rukia and Ichigo cackled mischievously.
"Seriously?", Shuuhei asked incredulously. Ichigo nodded.
"But that's..." Kaien trailed off and pursed his lips together, thinking of the appropriate way to say what he had to say.
"Unprofessional," Shuuhei finished, looking dead serious. The orange haired writer chuckled in amusement. Always expect Shuuhei to be serious about work and professionalism.
"Don't worry guys. There's nothin' between us, yet."
"Yet?", Renji asked, his beer long forgotten in his hand while he gave Ichigo his full attention.
"Yes," Rukia said smugly, "I set it all up to get Ichigo laid."
Ichigo glared at the raven haired woman but Rukia was completely unfazed and she ignored Ichigo's nasty look. "As much as it hurts me to admit," he added lowly, "She was the one to introduce me to the doctor."
"Wait, wait, wait," Kaien exclaimed, raising his palms in the air defensively, "Why er ya going to a therapist in the first place? That doesn't sound good, man."
"No, no, things are fine," Ichigo rushed to explain to the anticipating audience, "Therapy's goin' great and I'm gettin' much better. I have some enlightements of inspiration every once in a while."
"So ya had some sort of writer's block and went to the man?"
"Yup. I didn't want to at first but Rukia forced me to go," Ichigo explained calmly, but subtly glared at the petite, yet smirking raven haired woman.
"So what kind of therapy do you do?", Shuuhei asked full of interest.
Of course. Shuuhei was always interested in the therapy part, even if psychology wasn't exactly his field of study.
Ichigo sighed and sipped from his wine, finishing the glass in one gulp and swallowed before he spoke again. "I go out and then I draw whatever inspired me during the time I spent outside," the oranget said, smiling stupidly down at his empty glass, "He knows about all o' you, 'cept you Kaien. But he'll probably know you tomorrow too."
"Wow," Renji whispered in shock and whistled, "Yer really smitten, arencha?"
Ichigo smirked and reached out for the neatly placed beer bottle on the black table. "You'd be smitten too, if ya knew him."
"He's right," Rukia agreed and snuggled close to her boyfriend, "Grimmjow is really an amazing person."
"Grimmjow?", Kaien asked and stared at his girlfriend suspiciously, "Why're ya so familiar wit' him, young lady?"
Rukia chuckled and punched him on the chest with no heat. "He was dating my male roommate when I was in uni. He was around a couple of times and I had talked to him. He's smart and very polite, although he looks like a bad boy and such."
"He has a tattoo too," Ichigo added and sighed dreamily, "On the right side of his lower back."
"And how do you know that?", Shuuhei asked, quirking an interested, black eyebrow.
Ichigo blinked in confusion at his friend but then it dawned to him and "Oh!"ed in realization. "I accidentally bumped on him when I was at the gym and he..." He shuddered at the memory, "Took his shirt off in front of me and I saw it."
"Shit," Rukia cursed, very unladylike of her, her black eyes wide, "You saw him naked?"
"Half naked," Ichigo corrected and took a few gulps from his beer to get his bearings back to life.
"Is he really so good lookin'?", Renji asked, his russet eyes sparking with interest. Ichigo nodded and noticed in amusement Shuuhei giving the redhead nasty, jealous looks.
"Ah, Renji," Rukia sighed, "You've got no idea. He would spend the night at my place - for my roommate - from time to time and I would wake up in the morning to see him in his boxers, making coffee. He's like a God, seriously."
"I really don't like this, babe," Kaien mumbled with a scowl oh so similar to the Kurosaki family. Rukia giggled. Aw shit, Rukia didn't giggle. She had to be rather tipsy already. That woman was a bitch but she couldn't hold her liquor at all.
"Babyy," she sang, kissing Kaien's cheek, "You are my everything, who's Grimmjow again?"
Ichigo chuckled as he watched Kaien's stubborness melting slowly by his girlfriend's ministrations and he shook his head. "Kaien, don't worry, I ain't handing Grimmjow to anyone. There's gonna be a rough bitch fight for the other competitors."
All his companion busted out laughing and soon Ichigo found himself laughing along. Ah, it felt good to be surrounded by people he cared about and cared about him back.
Ah, Grimm is always right, isn't he?
"So," Shuuhei was the first to ask after they sobered up, "You're gonna tell him after you're done with the sessions?"
Ichigo shifted nervously in his seat, playing with the rim of his bottle. "I don't know how to approach him," he said in the end, "I mean, he is pretty easy goin' as a person, yet I don't know a reason to keep in touch with 'im after we finish the sessions and not seem like a fuckin' creepy stalker."
"Why don't you just... Give 'im hints?", Renji said seriously.
"Huh?"
Renji inched closer to Ichigo and threw his hand over the oranget's shoulders. "Look," the redhead said in a low, full of conspiracy tone, "Since yer havin' this therapy wit' the drawing and shit, why doncha give 'im messages that you want him through those pictures?"
Ichigo stared wide eyed at his best friend. He was shocked, dumbfounded but most of all, he was impressed. "Renji yer a genius."
"Oh God, Renji don't give him inappropriate ideas!", Shuuhei scolded but Renji ignored him.
"Hush, Shuu, I know exactly how this guy feels," the redhead said with a dismissive wave of his hand, "So Ich, what yer gonna do is simple; ya can draw you and him during the 'happy time' and like that, bring the conversation that ya fancy him."
Ichigo blushed profusely in mortification just at the mere thought of Grimmjow seeing his drawing of them ... during the happy time. "B-But that'd be..."
"Awesome?", Kaien noted, attracting Ichigo's attention on him. "Look, Ich, there's nothin' better than the direct approach," said the man seriously, "I promise ya, he'll be thinkin' 'bouchu all the time, if ya do something like that.
"Yeah... But," Ichigo hesitated and swallowed nervously, "What if he... Doesn't appreciate that?"
Rukia laughed, making her appearance known once again. "Ichigo, Ichigo... Grimmjow is very straightforward as a man too. I think he'll be extremely flattered if you chased him around a little."
"She's right Ich," Renji agreed, "Stroke his ego a little, do yer thing, yanno, be more playful wit' him, let yer smart mouth go wild, show 'im that yer not just a patient."
"I agree," Rukia said, raising her bottle of beer to the air.
"Me too," Kaien joined in, "Go fer the man, Ich."
Ichigo gave them a small smile and then looked at Renji only to see the man grinning enthusiastically. "It's yer chance Ich, don't blow it."
"What about you, Shuu?", Ichigo asked with a teasing smirk, glancing at the ever serious raven haired med student, "Doncha have anything to say?"
"I'm totally against unprofessional relationships," sighed the man, running a hand through his spiky hair but then he smiled saucily at Ichigo, "However, I'm voting for ya, man. Do it."
A large grin found its way to Ichigo's lips and he raised his beer bottle. "Cheers to my success then."
"Cheers!"
Ichigo was so thankful that he had those people around him. He knew that he hadn't been the model of a friend the past years however, neither Kaien, nor Renji nor Shuuhei, let alone Rukia had any complaints about it. They embraced him and gave him their advice the moment he asked for it, just like they did when they were younger.
Yeah... All he had to do was ask and seek for help, hadn't he? Grimmjow was right again.
As girly as it sounded, this was true, brotherly love. When you loved and cared about certain people and the feelings were mutual, there was no need for constant friction to ensure that the love wasn't gone. If the foundation was there and was as stable as their friendships were, then time wasn't an enemy.
Ichigo realized it during that night.
So this was what Grimmjow meant by "going out". Simply getting out of the house and walk around like Ichigo used to do wasn't the solution. Being around a bunch of friends, silly, arrogant, bitchy, stuck up nerds yet wonderful people was what he needed in his life. It was his inspiration.
That and his personal therapist in his bed.
But let's not talk about that yet. Why are the sessions for anyway?
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The song Ichigo is listening at the beginning of the chapter is called, "Deja vu" as performed by Beyonce and Jay-Z. I claim no copyright.
Thanks for reading,
Queen.
