A/N: Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers, and especially those who helped me find a better word for "disclaimed" in the previous chapter. Persephone of Peridot came up with "renounced," which I like, but the consensus was that I should have used "disowned." I may go back into the chapter and change it at some point.
This is a short chapter, all Arthur/Uther (as per Gaius). But don't worry, Merlin will return in Chapter Eight.
As always: BBC, not me.
Chapter Seven
["You two are going to sit here and talk. And neither one of you," Gaius added severely, "is leaving this room until you are father and son again. Do I make myself clear?" And he gathered his things and swept out of the room.]
Arthur looked after Gaius in shock. Nobody, but nobody spoke to the king that way! He sidled a look at Uther's face to see how he was taking it, and was shocked to see the corners of his mouth turning up. In seconds, the king was chuckling. Arthur stared uncomprehendingly.
Uther said with a smile, "I can't remember the last time somebody gave me a swift kick in the backside. I suppose it's about time someone did." He looked at Arthur with a much more serious expression. "Did you really mean what you said to me tonight, son?"
"I did," Arthur replied, chin raised in defiance.
Uther sighed. "Well, I guess that's two swift kicks today, then. Gaius wants us to talk. Will you hear me out? Please?" Arthur nodded slowly, and Uther took a deep breath and began. "I was wrong about the sorcerer at the banquet. I am grateful he was there to save your life. I said what I did because it frightened me that a sorcerer could get so close to us undetected. And my fear came out in my temper, and I said something unforgivable to you. I am sorry, Arthur."
Arthur couldn't remember the last time he had heard his father apologize to anyone. Nor had he ever heard him admit fear. Arthur found himself at a loss for words. Finally, he said, "You do know we won't be able to catch that sorcerer?"
"I know," said Uther ruefully. "And that disturbs me greatly. The sorcerer tonight did something good. But if he can come and go as he pleases, then there are sorcerers with evil intent who can do the same. I find that…more than frightening."
"Why haven't you ever spoken like this to me before?" asked Arthur.
"Kings cannot show fear," announced Uther. "Not even to ourselves," he continued more quietly. "It is a sign of weakness. But I suppose everyone feels fear now and then. With me, it comes out in my temper. So I say and do things I don't mean, things I cannot take back. As king, my word is law, my orders must be obeyed, and nobody expects apologies. Apologies, too, show weakness. But that does not mean that I never regret things I have said or done in a fit of temper. I… have had many regrets."
"Such as?" queried Arthur. He might never have a chance for this kind of discussion again, and he was damn well going to make his father work for it!
"Such as suggesting that the dagger wouldn't have killed you tonight, Arthur! Such as treating you as if you are invincible, and expecting you to be so. Of course I know you are not, and yet the alternative…it is unthinkable…" Uther's voice had dropped to a whisper. "I don't think I could go on without you, my son. And so, I have convinced myself that I shall never have to. In doing so, I have done you a great disservice. And for that, I fear that no apology I could give you could ever be great enough. If something happened to you – if you were to" he choked on the word "die – I would never forgive myself. I love you, Arthur. Even when we have fought, and you have pushed me to the point where I have locked you up for disobedience, I have always loved you. And you have never been a disappointment to me."
Arthur was startled to see that Uther's eyes were wet. He started to reach for his father's hand, but pulled back. "Do you ever worry that you have executed innocent people for sorcery?" he asked instead.
Uther took a deep breath. "I do what must be done to protect the kingdom," he stated firmly.
"That is not what I asked."
"Nevertheless, it is my answer," said Uther dismissively. "When you are king you will understand."
"Gods, I hate when you say that!" Arthur declared angrily, getting up and starting to pace. "All it really means is 'Shut up, Arthur, the discussion is over!'"
The king stared at his son for a moment, and started chuckling again. "You're right," he finally said. "I hated it when my father said it to me, too. I had forgotten."
Arthur paused and looked at the king. "Well?" Uther motioned toward the bench, and Arthur reluctantly sat once again.
"Yes, sometimes I have had innocent people executed," Uther confirmed. "Generally I feel it is better to be certain that magic is eradicated, and better a few innocents be killed, than one evil sorcerer go free. But there have been times that I have realized too late that I have committed a true injustice. Those instances haunt me, Arthur. But they are done, and the best I can do is try to put them behind me."
"No, Father," objected Arthur firmly, "the best you can do is try to learn from those mistakes so they won't happen again."
Uther thought a moment, and then nodded. "You are right, of course. I keep forgetting you are no longer a boy, and have acquired no small wisdom of your own."
"I can help you, Father, if you will just listen to me!" Arthur implored. "You have Advisors. Can I not be one of them? I am Crown Prince and will someday be King. I think I am ready for the responsibility of being one of your Advisors."
"Perhaps you are, at that," Uther said thoughtfully, turning the idea over in his mind. "I will consider it. Meanwhile, the next time you need me to listen to you, and I dismiss you out of hand, remind me to have a 'Gaius' discussion, and I will try to listen to you with my mind open. Agreed?"
Arthur grinned. "Yes, Father. And I will do the same."
Uther looked into Arthur's eyes. "You have just called me "Father" several times. Does that mean I have a son again?"
Arthur smiled. "I suppose it does. I quite like the father I am getting to know tonight. Perhaps we can talk like this more often?" He hoped he didn't sound like he was pleading – even though he knew he was.
Uther saw the hope in Arthur's eyes, and heard it in his voice. It should not have taken so many years for us to talk this way, he thought ruefully, and nodded. "I would also like that, very much, my son." He stood. "Now where is that teapot?"
When Gaius returned a quarter of an hour later, he found the two laughing over some funny stories from Uther's own childhood, and drinking tea like two old friends. He actually had to shoo them out so that he could go to bed, which he did with a very satisfied smile.
xxxxx
concrit welcome
