In the two weeks since Tuck and Katie had decided to give it another shot I had been busy with a lot of things. I'd given my statement to the police about Stuart assaulting me when he was arrested for a similar offence against another woman from a local coffee shop. My regular shifts at Mission hospital and the CIA had started again. My house had been gutted – the ruined furniture and fabrics thrown out, the floors ripped up and one ceilings down; the stairs were taken out and the walls stripped. It was an expensive and traumatic job but it was being done and I had savings.
The one thing I had to cling to was Tuck. Even as he was patching things up with Katie, he continued putting a lot of effort into making things up to me. We'd had lunch three times, dinner twice and coffee more times than I could keep track of. He – like FDR – was grounded while the CIA tracked the exposure of the car chase to see if there was any hope of them remaining covert. As a result he had time to drop by and see how my house was doing and allow me to cry on his shoulder – literally – when it got too much.
"How much is it gonna cost?" I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair.
"We're looking at an extra one, maybe two thousand." The contactor told me with feigned guilt.
"Okay, fine."
He walked back to his guys and I walked out the door. My front garden would never have won awards before the fire but I'd always kept it neat. Now a skip was sitting on the drive, the grass had been trampled mercilessly and debris was littered everywhere you looked. I picked up a pair of gloves and began gathering things to be put in the skip – very distracting and perfect if you don't particularly want to think for a short time.
I didn't pay and attention to a car as it parked on the street but when the man called my name – not for the first time if his expression was anything to go by – I looked up and wiped my hair out my eyes.
"Manual labour Jess?" he asked.
He offered me one of the Starbucks cups he was holding – though I'd have preferred a cool bottle of water at that point – so I pulled off the gloves and thanked him. I took a sip and savoured it: strong, black, two sugars. Just how I like it.
"I've heard it's good for you but I'm not convinced." I joked. "Any news from work?"
"Not yet," Tuck said. "but I reckon Collins is just dragging her feet to punish us." I nodded absently. "How's the house?"
"Expensive." I moaned. "They now think one of the supporting beams isn't structurally sound and it's another couple of grand. Hooray."
Tuck stepped forward and gave me a one-armed hug.
"Your day has been as good as mine then." he said lightly. I leaned back and frowned. He just said: "Katie. Long story. How's about we grab dinner and try to salvage the day, huh?"
"That's the best suggestion I've heard all day." I said with a smile.
Grabbing dinner turned into heading to Tuck's and cooking spaghetti bolognaise. I joked that he just wanted to see me make a mess of myself – I maintain that there is no dignified way to eat and properly savour the dish. He told me about the hassle of drying the place out after FDR turned on the sprinklers.
"So, what happened with dear old Kates?" I asked after a mouthful of spaghetti.
Tuck rolled his eyes at my use of her most hated nickname.
"A fight," he said. I took a sip of wine and waited for him to elaborate. "about everything. Me lying about my job, her hinting to her friends about the CIA, past fights we've had, groceries, sex, marriage…you name it, we fought about it."
"How did you guys leave it?" I asked cautiously.
"Not well." He took a mouthful of wine as he thought about what to say next. "She thinks I'm spending too much time with you. Apparently it will confuse Joe, God knows how." He scrubbed a hand over his face frustration.
I sat my fork down. "I've always been around, not that she's ever liked that. Why now?"
"He…he told Katie that he didn't mind Lauren but he'd rather I married you." Tuck admitted.
I choked on my wine and Tuck looked faintly amused. "I'm flattered but he's seven, Tuck. He's knows me; he'd rather you married me than a stranger. Katie always cares too much about what other people will think. You're back together on her terms, I shouldn't see Joe because it might make people talk but not in the way she wants." Why Tuck, why her? I wanted to ask.
"I know, Jess. Believe me, I know." He looked pretty worn out by the conversation so we ate the rest of the meal with distracting conversation.
"Should I open another bottle?" Tuck asked as I washed one of the pots – it had taken some convincing and tactical threats to let him let me do it.
Glancing at the clock on the microwave, I hesitated.
"I should be getting back to Nana's. You'd think I was still sixteen the way she worries when I'm out late." I said with a sad smile.
"Then stay over."
There was something about the way he said it – quietly and without hesitation – that made my heart beat faster. He was leaning against the counter, on the shorter stretch of the L shape it made, holding a bottle of red wine that was resting on his thigh. The soft expression on his face said that he needed company to take his mind off things and I was the only person that could do it. With his sleeves turned up and the top few buttons of his shirt undone he looked the picture of ease and indisputably sexy. I don't think I could have denied him anything at that point.
"Okay." I breathed. "You open the wine, I'll let Nana know."
If he noticed that my voice shook or that my hands did too then he didn't say anything. He just smiled. And I wondered if he knew just how my insides reacted in that moment or that the grip I had on the cloth tightened or that my thoughts had fled down paths more dirty than some of the streets in LA. I nodded at him and left the room, not realising that my hands were still covered in dishwater.
After drying my hands on my jeans I pulled my phone from my bag. The best reception in Tuck's apartment was by the window so I leaned against it as I let my grandparent's know I was safe and wouldn't be back that night. The call didn't last long but I stayed by the window, enthralled by darkness that was creeping over the city below and the lights that blinked on to compensate.
Movement reflected on the glass warned me of Tuck's approach and stopped my from starting when silently offered me my glass.
"I don't think I'll ever tire of this view." he said quietly from behind me.
And I mean behind me – I could feel the heat from his body and his shirt occasionally brushed mine.
"I still miss the UK though." I said.
"Yeah, me too." he sighed.
"We should go back for New Year." I suggested lightly. "There's nothing like Hogmanay in Edinburgh." If you're not spending it with your wife and child I added silently.
"Maybe." Tuck said.
I felt his hand on my hip then the pressure of him kissing the back of my head before he walked over to the sofa. After a steadying breath, I joined him.
We avoided heavy topics after that. He told me that Joe was excelling at Karate now and I mentioned that FDR and Lauren had been back to visit Nana and Grandpa. He didn't seem too upset about that. The hours ticked by until one o'clock when we decided that bed was a better idea than another bottle. Even a good meal wasn't enough to ward off the effects of a whole bottle of wine so I swayed slightly as we stood up. Tuck laughed and we made a show of steadying each other on our way to the bathroom.
Tuck went to change and get me a t-shirt as I went through my nightly routine. He reappeared as I stepped into corridor. He was shirtless. I couldn't think. Somewhere, the rational part of me was saying that I was a doctor and used to seeing shirtless men and I'd seen him shirtless before but my goodness he was hot. Swallowing thickly, I muttered a "thanks" when he held out the dark green t-shirt. It was difficult to stop the onslaught of memories of every time I'd seen him wear it.
Completely forgetting to say goodnight, I headed to his spare bedroom to avoid blatantly staring at his shirtless form. I pulled my top – now with a lovely red stain from the spaghetti sauce – over my head and threw it on the floor. It was followed quickly by my jeans and socks before I pulled Tuck's t-shirt on. I kind of hated that it smelled like him. Or maybe I disliked how many times I had imagined myself wearing something like this. In a vain attempt to distract myself from the smell I shook my hair down then re-tied it.
Where's my phone? I wondered. Table!
Quietly opening the door, I padded through to the living room and spotted what I was looking for. When I turned to head back to my room Tuck was standing there. Still shirtless. Now staring. The wine clearly had an effect on his subtlety because he didn't even try to hide the fact that his gaze lingered on my bare legs, then his shirt, then my face. Heat crept up my neck and stained my face.
"My, uh, phone." I said lamely.
I held it up as if to prove my intentions and this seemed to bring Tuck back to reality.
"Sorry, um…yeah." he faltered.
"What is it with guys seeing women in their shirts?" I laughed, trying to ease the tension.
His face darkened slightly and embarrassment covered his face. Then confusion.
"You've worn another man's shirt before then?" he said.
It almost sounded like a light-hearted jib. Almost. I could hear the strain just under his words and it irritated me quicker than it should have. Alcohol; damn you alcohol.
"I'm not the innocent virgin you met ten years ago." I said with the same faked lightness and a teasing grin.
He tried to laugh and to his credit it sounded pretty real. He shook his head and said: "On that note…" before walking over to hug me. His bare skin was warm on my cheek and arms as we hugged. With my eyes closed I focused on his hands – one wrapped around my waist, the other my shoulders – and the exhalation of his breath on my neck. I don't think I had ever had this much contact with his skin and it was definitely the first time he had seen me less than fully clothed.
"G'night Tuck." I whispered as we pulled apart.
"See you tomorrow Sweetheart."
I walked down the short hall past the bathroom to the spare room. As I settled into bed and turned out the light I wondered if my feelings for him would ever go away...
TmWtMwTmWtMw
The fire was painfully hot as it struck out at my feet. None of the doors on the landing would open so I was trapped in the corner as the fire stalked towards me. I tried to slow my breathing and brace myself against the wall because the floor seemed to be sloping down towards the fire. The smoke burned my eyes but didn't hinder my breathing. It seemed to whisper my name. The fire crept closer. The angle of the corner behind me slowly decreased, forcing me towards the flames. A tendril of fire struck out and curled around my ankle, branding me but not letting go. It began to pull me in; to pull me closer to the inferno, it was calling my name.
"Jess it's just a dream."
I sat up quickly and Tuck's reflexes saved us both from a collision.
"You're alright. Whatever it was, it wasn't real." he soothed while he rubbed my arms. "It's not like you to have nightmares." Tuck observed with concern.
"Since the fire." I said. My mind was a bit confused still but I was breathing normally. "They started after the fire." I explained.
Tuck drew me into a hug and rubbed my back as I rested my head on his shoulder. We stayed like that for a while with neither of us saying anything.
"Would you like me to stay?" he offered.
"No, it's okay." I said. "It might take me a while to sleep again and I'll be restless until then."
He withdrew from the hug and looked at me seriously.
"Would you sleep better if I was here?" he asked.
I just shrugged. The answer was yes but I didn't want him to feel obligated to stay. He kissed my forehead and stood up. I though he was going to leave so I smiled at him in thanks but he walked around the queen sized bed and pulled back the sheet. Once he was under the covers I switched off the bedside lamp, swallowed lightly and laid back down. I wasn't sure what to do so I stayed stock still for about a minute before his chuckle broke the silence.
"I won't bite y'know." he said.
I laughed and relaxed and focused on my vision adjusting to the darkness. I could make Tuck out relatively clearly and realised he was looking at me.
"C'mere Sweetheart." he said gently.
He lifted his arm slightly and I shuffled over and rested my head against his shoulder. His arm settled on my waist and he brushed his thumb back and forth in a soothing gesture. Nestling into him, I focused on every point of contact between us from my cheek down to our feet. To me it felt right or at least it sure as hell didn't feel wrong.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"Anytime, Jess." he breathed back.
Read, enjoy and…review?
Much love and thanks,
Liv.
