Little head-up for all who are interested: The bug of missing reviews still lingers in the depths and by the looks of it, said bug only affects this story. I double-checked, guest reviews are enabled, so I don't know what is going on. But don't worry, I can still read them via email notification.
Most incidents, accidents or bad things which happened to us were born from our own stupidity.
That was the conclusion I arrived at from watching people I knew, reading history books or watching the news. At some point the person in question had made a dumb decision and reaped what they had sown.
For example, climbing up an electrical tower in a drunken stupor, slipping of the ladder and falling down to their doom; Stupidity.
Another one would have been shoving a glass up your behind with said glass cracking, splintering and cutting you open internally and making you bleed slowly to death; Stupidity.
There was also-
It would be for the best if I stopped myself here. For all our sanities' sake.
What I wanted to say was that stupidity was more often than we wanted it to be one of the, if not the main reason for people to die or suffer. Humans had a remarkably low sense for self preservation in that regard.
And I didn't care about the argument everyone who had done stupid stuff gave you when asked; The one that they had always prepared, that they wanted to 'live a little'. Really, what about a glass up your butt and bleeding internally was 'living a little'? Sometimes I didn't get people.
Right now I was about to do my own stupid thing: Saving five libido controlled idiots from the wrath of a huntress-in-training who was as interested in them as she was in pebbles on the side of the road.
Which was twice as dangerous for the one who was intervening. Namely, for me.
For starters, libido controlled youths in general were likely to react in a very aggressive manner if they were stopped by a third party during The Approach. Possible responses included but were not limited to shouting, punching and kicking.
While normally getting lynched by a group of sexually frustrated dumbasses was far from a pleasant experience and something I never wanted to be subjugated to there was something I feared even more.
It concerned the second danger: The aftermath.
From my personal experience proud people did not take it well if someone tried to save them from something they didn't perceive as a threat.
Consider the fact that the human in question was a girl, training to fight monsters, probably had a short temper and was already annoyed to near the point of snapping by the pitiful attempts of five dumb knobs; There was a big chance that she would vent her pent up anger on the one who did something demeaning from her point of view like 'trying to save her even if she could do so herself'.
Which was unfair in my opinion: After all, I didn't want to save her but the morons walking into their shared grave.
As I was strolling straight towards the scene and contemplating the best course of action the first person who saw my approach was Raven. She had searched for something to distract her from the yapping and her eyes simply landed on the one approaching, ergo me, by mere coincidence.
Red orbs narrowed in suspicion and she readjusted her position in order to jump up fast -I was not that intimidating now was I?- and in response I tried to give her my most disarming smile. Additionally I decreased my walking speed. Both didn't help much judging from the now clenched fists, one inching closer towards her weapon.
I suddenly felt a lot more nervous about the whole thing and prayed for something to happen which didn't end with me in pain.
Unrealistic, but one could hope.
When I finally stepped up behind them the five guys about to commit suicide still hadn't noticed me. Which could work in my favor if I played my cards right. People who were surprised and caught off guard were more susceptible to manipula- I meant making them see reason.
Standing behind them I cleared my throat and watched the five jump a little before turning around. And they looked furious. Flustered, yes, but furious. That was a bad sign. Predictable, yes, but bad nonetheless.
It was a truly bizarre situation. You had to try and picture it in your head:
On one side there were five guys looking like any generic group of delinquents. The scary and dangerous ones, ready to pull out weapons and kill you. Not the group whom you would make jokes about later with your friends.
On the other side there was me, a six feet two inches tall guy on the lean side, dressed in a waiter's outfit and carrying two bags of groceries, trying his best to look as nonchalant as possible.
Thank god for my poker face or this whole ordeal would have ended within seconds. But now there was another problem:
I didn't have a plan. Whatever things I had come up with on the way towards them was forever lost as the group of angry men focused their entire attention on lil' old me.
There was no other option left besides winging it. And wing it I did.
"Hey, little sis! Sorry for the wait!"
Of course the first thing I tried was the classical 'relative coming back from shopping'-card. Important was for your eyes to stay on the person in question, here Raven, and to look like one who ignored the offending participants.
With the biggest, most cheerful, type 3 diabetes inducing smile I could muster I greeted her with a voice filled with such raw happiness; Let's just say that it wasn't so far off to say that the brother I was acting out hadn't see her for a felt lifetime and couldn't stop the pure sugar from flowing out of his mouth.
Looking back I might have overacted. A little bit. A teeny itsy-bitsy bit.
"And who are you supposed to be, huh?", when confronted with the 'leader's' response I had the immediate desire to stop the act, excuse myself and walk away without saving them. It seemed less and less worth to save their asses.
I didn't like the them.
Seriously, I would never understand how everyone was able to say that stereotyping is a bad thing to do when confronted with people who were walking stereotypes themselves.
"Like I said, her brother.", from the looks of it they started to believe me. I could feel the relief figuratively flowing into me. A little more coaxing and the mission was going to be a success!
"You see, she didn't want to go with me into the grocery store back there since she doesn't really like crowds, and so she waited for me here and-"
"He isn't.", all our eyes wandered towards Raven and if it weren't for the fact that my life was on the line I would have loudly cursed at her.
Who in their right mind would simply stab someone who offered a helping hand in the back? Even if the helping hand was only there to ensure the other parties' survival? That was something no sane person would do, right?
In hindsight: Raven was going to leave Yang, her own daughter, behind and wouldn't protect her from getting her arm slashed off because Raven had the rule 'to only save her once'. That didn't really scream 'I AM SANE!', did it?
Haaaaa... Why did I always meet the crazy ones?
"I don't even know him.", and without even a single speck of remorse Raven continued to dig the hole she made under me deeper and deeper.
Damn you, Raven! You were going to be the death of me!
"What's she saying? You an imposter?", aaand they were onto me. Quickly, brain, think!
"NO! No, of course not! It's just a simple game we play. You see, we are only step brother and sister. It's how the game works, pretending to not know the other. To pull others' legs and all that.", I delivered that line as best as I could, all the while nervously laughing to elevate some suspicion.
If my hands hadn't been full with bags there would have been some anxious head scratching on my part making lying impossible. But thank everything holy it was not to be.
"Sis, stop it! The gig is up. We really need to get going. We still have to prepare lunch. We promised Aunty Violet and she can't do it 'cause she is sick. And we do have to help her out with the shop. Now, say goodbye to your new friends and lets go."
Come on, help me out a little! I didn't want to die!
"He is not my brother."
RAVEN!
It was blown. It was officially and totally over. I had been busted by the one person in a fifteen feet radius I hadn't had no personal problem with. Now I was starting to think that there might be some form of contempt for her after all.
"You thin' you could trick us 'ou punk, huh?", If I hadn't been in such a pickle I probably would have addressed his complete inability to speak coherently. I spoke a better English than him and I wasn't even a native speaker.
"Me, thinking I could trick you? Of course not. You are such a dashing example of body and mind, I would never!", a nervous laugh escaped my mouth and what felt like a cascade of cold sweat rolled down my back. This whole situation was getting a little too hot for my tastes.
Sadly he didn't look like he or his compadres bought it judging from the way they began to encircle me. So even someone like him had a brain and could see through you if another person pointed it out for him.
If only when they did it in explicit detail and explained it for him in a very, very simple manner.
Yeah, now the deal was without a doubt sealed: This whole situation was not salvageable anymore. Time for ensuring that I didn't suffer the same fate a punching bag did after a boxing club's training session. A long one.
For achieving that there had been so many ways in which I could have reacted.
I could have come clean, excused myself and let things go their natural course.
I could have switched to another plan like 'The Childhood Friend' and still tried to solve this entire situation. Raven probably would have fallen into my back, again, but I could have at least made the attempt.
Or I could have done what I ended up doing: Running away like a headless chicken and getting chased by the five brain-o-phobics until who-knew-when.
"GET BACK HERE!"
"I AM SORRY!"
At least she couldn't kill them anymore. Mission semi-accomplished!
Now if only I didn't die, that would be perfect...
