There was certainly something to be said for kissing a girl senseless, Artemis reflected later that night after Holly had gone back to Haven. He couldn't remember having a more pleasant time, though he was understandably eager to do more than just kissing. If yesterday's accidental, er, enthusiasm were any indication, things could only improve between them. The thought left him breathless for a few moments and he had to plant his hands on the counter to brace himself.
He looked at himself in the mirror and shook his head. "Slow down, Fowl," he chided his reflection. "Let her lead. If it takes another ten years, then you'll wait another ten years. You do have plenty of time. Don't rush."
He reached for his toothbrush and began the task of cleaning his teeth while he pondered all that she had revealed. Commander Kelp and the rest of the LEP still mistrusted him, after all he'd done for them. That stung, he had to admit it. But for now he put his feelings aside and analyzed. He was the only human being ever to have lived in Haven in its entire 10,000 year history. For that entire time, the People had only seen the worst of humanity – wars, moral degradation, evil, hatred, and fear. He weighed one hundred centuries of history against a mere decade of their association with him, which admittedly had a rocky start, and he supposed he couldn't really blame them for their paranoia.
Also, he would have to make a note that the contractors he'd hired were obviously not entirely trustworthy. That's why as soon as Holly had left he'd taken the time to hack the company's systems and wipe their databases clean. And tomorrow he'd see about getting rid of the hard-copies they would have stashed somewhere in their offices. He knew just the dwarf for the job, too. He finished brushing his teeth and rinsed out his mouth, and then reached for his facial cleanser.
One thing the chrysalis had not done, apparently, was give him perfect skin, so Artemis was careful every night and morning to follow this little cleansing ritual. It would not do to get spots, which were simply an unsightly reminder of his biological youth. He'd been almost surprised when, during their argument the other day, Foaly hadn't pointed at that technically, Artemis wasn't eighteen or twenty-one, but only three and a half – his body, at any rate.
Kelp knew about his extended lifespan. He had planned to tell the LEP Commander all about it, true, but perhaps not quite this soon. The cat was out of the bag, so to speak, and now Artemis considered whether this could be good or bad.
It depended on whether or not Kelp believed that neither Foaly nor Artemis understood how his telomeres had been altered by Opal Koboi's chrysalis. Their best hypothesis, and an untestable one now that the chrysalis was destroyed, was that the machine itself had been programmed to do it by Opal herself. Perhaps she, too, had seen the potential of a clone. Perhaps Nopal had been her last backup, after all. No one would put it past the pixie to deliberately extend her natural lifespan. Artemis shuddered at the thought of an immortal Opal Koboi.
If Kelp believed them, then after a brief uproar, he and the rest of the Council would adjust, and tweak their plans for observation accordingly. Perhaps in another few decades or a hundred years or so, they'd learn to trust him, after all. Artemis could only hope so. It would be a lot easier to get things done if he had their blessing and active assistance, instead of having to fight and cajole them and have his friends defy orders, every time the world needed saving.
If Kelp did not believe them, there would be an investigation, more surveillance, and perhaps legal repercussions of some kind. Artemis had plans to apply for citizenship as one of the People. His fairy lawyer, a centaur named Brigliadoro, of excellent reputation, had been intrigued by the idea. All citizens so far had been born into it, fairies one and all. Artemis would be the first human to be granted the rights and duties of one of the People, if only they could figure out a way to get it done. Accusations of ill-gotten longevity would not look very good on his application, to say the least.
Artemis patted his face dry and examined himself in the mirror rather critically. "You are not someone who is naturally lovable," he said to his reflection. "You are aloof and far too intelligent to make most people comfortable. And sometimes you talk to yourself in the mirror, which doesn't exactly set them at ease." He scowled and paced into his bedroom.
An enormous presence loomed near the doorway. Before Artemis had time to jump, the lights flickered on. It was Butler. "You startled me," said Artemis.
"I'm sorry," Butler rumbled. "Just doing a last-minute sweep before bedtime. Who were you talking to?"
"Only myself," Artemis replied. "I'm considering how to become more popular with the People." At Butler's raised eyebrows, the young man couldn't help but smile, more than a little smug. "Holly has agreed to being courted by me," he explained. He sat on the edge of the bed and opened the drawer on his nightstand. Therein lay a small photograph of the auburn-haired elf, which he took out and examined. "Our romance isn't going to be very popular. Perhaps if I somehow portray myself in a positive light, and get the fairies to accept me, they'll be more inclined to accept our love. The last thing I want is to cause Holly any pain."
Butler considered this for a moment. "Congratulations," he finally said. "And good luck. Maybe you should make a movie."
"A movie?" Artemis asked.
"Yes. About your adventures. Animated, perhaps. There would have to be some changes here and there, but… if people watch your story, they might like you better. There is historical precedent. More than one king has gained his people's favor through plays."
"A movie," Artemis repeated, and this time he sounded rather thoughtful. Butler recognized that look in his employer's eye, and smiled. He left quietly and closed the door behind him, leaving Artemis Fowl to do what he did best – plot.
Artemis turned off the lights and climbed into bed, putting the idea of an animated film in the back of his mind to percolate.
The last thought on his mind before he fell asleep was Holly's face in the sunlight, smiling.
