Author's Note:

Hey everyone! I'm real excited to post this, like REALLY excited :) hehe! Anyways, I'd like to thank the following people for reviewing:

xShyxPandax18: Aw, thanks! And yeah, I thought it'd be nice since I love clothes!

Angelina: Thank you!

Sissymac: Thank you!

Hayleyjune13: tehe

FanFicGirl10: Aw, thanks!

Emily xoxo

My first real boyfriend was in the eleventh grade, his name was Michael and like me, he wasn't too popular. Michael was considered a goth or emo person just because he had long hair. He wasn't emotionally unstable but he needed me at the time. His family was falling apart, along with his life. He would turn to violence but that was usually a battle he couldn't beat. We met before I was raped, he was there for me when it happened but I had given up all hope for men. I left him and kept my distance, three weeks later I was told that his father killed him for a reason I wasn't aware of. I was sad about it but I couldn't make myself become all torn up inside, more than I already was. Michael taught me a lesson though; never make yourself love someone who needs you more than you can provide. It becomes emotionally exhausting; I should've remained friends with him and never said yes to him when he asked me out.

"Are you all right?" Andrea asked her blue eyes peering into my cell as I sat on the cement floor pulling on my shoelaces.

"I'm fine, Andrea, how are you?" I asked narrowing my green eyes at her.

"I'm ok, I'm going for a run, want to come?" Going for a run my ass, no one runs these days.

"Honestly, I'd rather stick a stake through my head than do anything with anyone right now, let alone you." I said.

"Are you PMS-ing honey, I can get you some pills for that, I have some extras." She said. As much as I wanted to jump up and rip her throat out I couldn't. I wasn't ready to fight one of the group members, I've been there, done that and got kicked out.

"Go fuck Shane honey; I'm sure he'd like that." I said banging my head against the metal pole of the bunk bed.

"No, seriously, I'm worried about you." She said. She knew what she was doing.

"Say one more thing to me and I'll tear your white ass apart."

"I didn't know you were a lesbian, in that case, I'm sure you want to tear my ass apart." She said. I jumped up and flung my cell door open, hitting her in the nose causing it to bleed.

"Do you want to rethink that statement?" I asked. "I will not hesitate to beat your ass, sweetheart, so you might as well take a walk before I do." I said, the rage inside me building.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on here?" Shane asked jumping from a step.

"I'll beat your ass too, Shane." I said.

"Aliyah." Rick said looking at me with his baby in his arms.

"Take the baby away, Rick, I'm about to kill these motherfuckers!" I yelled taking a step closer to Andrea.

"Daryl!" Rick said and out of nowhere I was pinned against a closed cell, the bars pushing into my back.

"Go on, Andrea, Shane, run away like the scared fuckers you are!" I yelled as they walked away. "Daryl, you best get your hands off of me." I said looking him in the eyes.

"Since when are you mental?" He asked.

"Since you fucking played my ass!" I yelled. "It's either like me or you don't, you can't do both." I said calming down.

"I don't like you, Aliyah. I'll never like anyone." He said.

"So, that, you know, meant absolutely nothing, I could die tomorrow and you wouldn't care?" I asked. He stepped back and walked off. The silence hurt the most, somehow I knew the answer was no, he wouldn't care. Being around Daryl was like being on an emotional rollercoaster, he might not have any feelings but I sure as hell do. I don't think it's good for me to be around him, I don't know if it's good for me to be here at all. I've just been conflicting with everyone and I feel like I'm just weighing them down. It was thoughts like these that made me want to pack my bags and leave. I walked outside and sat on the stairs of the prison. I watched the sky shift for hours, I was conflicted. Daryl was driving me nuts and I shouldn't let him get to me this much. "Hey." Maggie said stepping out of the prison. "I'm taking that the whole new outfit thing didn't go over to well."

"You think? He hated it." I said.

"I'm sorry, it was my idea." Maggie said. "We should've gone with something more… dirty and country."

"Don't blame yourself; I was fooling myself trying to impress him, to try to play him. It's impossible to beat someone at their own game."

"It's Daryl Dixon we're talking about, do you even like him?" She asked.

"He kissed me, the little hope I had left for being in a relationship went through the roof I was thinking I could change his mind. I'm the only one trying in this mess. I guess I shouldn't even care anymore. This life isn't about romance or rendez-vous-ing with someone, it's about survival. I just want to be loved and I don't think that Daryl is the right person for me to look for love with." I said.

"I would give you my honest opinion but I don't want you to rip my head off." She said.

"No, what the fuck, go for it." I said.

"I know Daryl isn't right for you, he's not what you're looking for. Personally, I don't think any of us are." She said.

"Yeah, so basically, either make it right with Daryl or I'm hopeless." I said shaking my head. "I'm not going to force a relationship with Daryl." Once I was told an Emily Dickinson quote; "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, and sings the tune—without words, and never stops at all." It described how I felt because hope will never cease being inside me but I don't want it to be built up to an all-time height and just be crushed like it was by Daryl.

"I'm sure you'll find someone in this world. Out of the people who are left, someone has to be right for you. Look at me, I found my soul mate." Maggie said.

"Yeah, but I don't want to go searching for love. Now that the world has ended love shouldn't matter, it should be all about survival. I shouldn't be torn up because Daryl is carless bastard. I shouldn't have threatened Andrea or Shane, no matter how much I don't like them because that's not who I am. I'm not a killer and there I was hours ago, threatening to end their lives. I've never been violent, I was the girl who sat at home and watched the food network and cried when old people didn't go far in a competition show." I said.

"Everything's different now, Aliyah, just go for it." She said and I nodded.

"Before I go for it, I need to fuck things up a bit. I need to tell Daryl about what happened the other day." I said.

"No, not now Aliyah, this isn't the time." She said.

"When is the time? When I'm on my death bed, tomorrow or next week? Does it even matter; he's still going to hate me." I said.

"It's not your fault, you didn't know, Glenn did and if he was thinking he should've tried to talk to Merle."

"Fine, whatever."

Daryl's P.O.V…

I watched Aliyah's slender figure walk across the cell block and into her cell. I didn't know what was wrong with me, I have never wanted to be around someone before but watching Aliyah made me want to talk to her. I've also never wanted to sleep with someone so bad, she was something else, her blonde hair flowed down to her shoulder blades and her eyes were big and vibrant. Aliyah seemed delicate because she was raped; she took note of everything and was searching for answers that weren't there. The kiss was a great example, I wasn't thinking when I did it and I shouldn't have done it. Ever since then she was an emotional mess for no reason. I didn't know what it was like to feel hurt by a potential lover or whatever she thought I was. I knew what it was like to be betrayed, like when my brother was left on that roof. I was never so pissed before then. I didn't know what it felt like to love or enjoy someone's company. I would fuck someone but that was it, my life went no further than that. The only person I wanted to be around was Merle; he was always there as fucked up as he is. I didn't understand why I wanted to talk to her; I wouldn't know what to say if I went over to her cell. I've never been good with people and probably never will be. I stood up and approached her cell and saw her green eyes connect with mine; they were the only thing I could see in the dark cell block. "Aliyah, I'm coming in." I said.

Aliyah's P.O.V…

"What now?" I asked still irritated. He sat down next to me and his leg touched mine, this time there was no space in between our legs. His blue eyes were intent on mine.

"I don't know what you think we are but I can promise you it's not the case." He said.

"Did you come in here just to make it worse for me?" I asked, looking down.

"I'm no good with words…" He said and lifted my chin with his rough thumb. Just go for it…Maggie's words rang through my head. His face came closer to mine and I closed my eyes and anticipated his lips on mine. He pressed his lips to mine and I moved my lips with his, our lips moving together in an uncoordinated synch. His tongue brushed my bottom lip and I opened my mouth slightly, letting his tongue explore my mouth. My tongue brushed his and it was amazing, his warmth radiating through me. I shifted a little so I was straddling him. He moved his lips to my neck and I threw my head back and ran my hands down his chest. I moaned as his tongue flicked across my neck and he nibbled on the sensitive skin and sucked.

"Daryl." I whispered, attempting to be quiet knowing everyone was close by. He lifted my shirt above my head and grasped my waist and kissed my breast his tongue slipping under my bra. I knew he was leaving little marks all over but I didn't care.

"What's going on here?" Carl asked from outside my cell and I jumped off of Daryl and pulled my shirt back on before Carl's eyes could adjust.

"Shh, Daryl and I are talking." I whispered.

"Oh, are you mad at him?" He asked.

"Yes, go away." I said and he left without another word. I slid back onto Daryl's lap. "This isn't a good place to do any of this, you know?" I asked.

"I think we should stop now before this goes any further." He whispered.

"You don't want me?" I asked.

"Right now I do, just not so everyone can hear." He said, making my heart feel warm. "I'm going to go back to my perch." He said standing up.

"No, Daryl, please stay?" I pleaded.

"No, I don't think so." He said and walked off. It didn't hurt to hear him say no. Whether he was playing me or not, it felt amazing to have someone kiss me gently and without their hot drunken breath all over me. Daryl was so different from the men who raped me and from Shane. I laid down and pulled the blankets tight against me as I fell into a light sleep.