"I'm so sorry," Sarah spoke into her cellphone. "I don't know what's going on with this traffic. I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Sarah, it's fine," Jay reassured her. "Pop won't mind one bit. But you shouldn't be driving while you're on your cell."
"It's okay, it's on speaker. I just hate being late."
"Be safe. That's all I need from you."
"Meet me in the parking lot at your apartment?" Sarah begged. "Then we can go straight to your dad's without wasting time. I don't want him to think I'm flaky."
"He won't think that. I'll see you soon. In the parking lot," Jay smiled as she hung up.
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"Is she asleep?" Olivia asked in a quiet voice as Alex left their daughter's room.
"Out like a light," Alex said.
Olivia smiled, and failed to stifle a yawn.
"Looks like somebody else needs their sleep too," Alex smiled as she settled next to Olivia on the couch. She kissed her tenderly. "C'mon, detective, you're having an early night."
Olivia smiled ruefully. "I wanted to spend the evening with you," she pouted.
"And you shall. If you let me hold you while you sleep," Alex compromised.
"Deal," Olivia agreed. "But you just wait until tomorrow morning, counselor, when my batteries are recharged."
"I can't wait," Alex's voice was laced with lust.
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"Relax!" Jay laughed, as Sarah ran toward her. Sarah looked so worried that Jay's heart broke a little at the sight of her.
"I so wanted to make a good impression," Sarah sounded miserable.
"And you will," Jay kissed her softly. "God you are so beautiful. I had forgotten how beautiful you are."
Sarah smiled, despite her agitation.
"We still have plenty of time," Jay's tone was gentle. "I told Pop we'd be there around 6pm. We'll only be a few minutes after six. Here," she passed a helmet to Sarah. "Are you sure you want to go on the bike?"
Sarah grinned, relaxing at last. "Definitely. And you," she pulled Jay to her and kissed her thoroughly, "you look fantastic in leather."
Jay grinned.
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Sarah's arms stayed wrapped firmly round Jay's slim waist as Jay drove expertly and safely to her father's house. Sarah wanted the journey to go on for ever; the feel of her strong, athletic girlfriend under her hands was both comforting and arousing. Having a legitimate reason to hold her tight was a thrill and she was loath to release her.
As they drew up in front of her father's house, Sarah was surprised to see a man in his early fifties standing on the porch. As she looked more closely, she saw that he stood in front of his wheelchair, and that one hand was gripping a metal handle on the doorframe tightly.
Jay ran up the steps and happily accepted his warm embrace.
"My little girl," her father said, over and over as he hugged her tight with one arm.
Jay finally pulled out of her father's arms, reaching out to take Sarah's hand. "This is Sarah, Pop. Pop, Sarah," she grinned as she made the introduction.
Joe Kazinsky smiled as he took in the sight of his daughter's new girlfriend. His smile was warm and kind, and reached to his eyes. Sarah liked him immediately. She put out her hand. "Hello, Mr Kazinsky," she said a little shyly.
He ignored her hand, and pulled her into a bear hug. "One rule, kid," his voice was humorous and kind. "Nobody in this house calls me Mr Kazinsky. Joe. You should call me Joe."
Sarah smiled as she hugged him back. "Joe," she repeated. "Thank you."
Joe released her, and slowly lowered himself back into his chair. He looked at his daughter. "You were right Jake. I do like her. I like her a lot. And she's cute."
"Pop!" Jay squawked. "You can't say things like that."
"Hey, it's my house. I say what I like in my own house."
"Well then we should take you out of your house. Maybe you'll behave better at the market?" Jay's eyes twinkled with humor.
"Don't bet on it kid," Joe smiled. "Come in for a little while first. I'll make you some tea."
Sarah followed Jay into the house, which was a little shabby, but warm and friendly. She noticed several more steel handles positioned at strategic points around the place.
"You've got a lovely place, Mr... I mean Joe," Sarah smiled.
He grinned back. "I like it. And thanks to my little girl, I can stay here. Come, see what she's done for me."
He chivvied Sarah into the kitchen, proudly showing her the wooden ramps around the room. "She built all these for me, so's I can cook. I love to cook."
Sarah looked in awe at the rugged ramps that had obviously had a good deal of use. She saw a few more of the steel handles around the stove and the sink. "So you didn't have to move?" she said.
He shook his head. "Been here for 27 years. My little Jake grew up here."
Sarah smiled fondly. She loved that she was in Jay's childhood home.
"She was a real handful," Joe chortled. "Jake!" he yelled. "Did you tell Sarah about the tree yet?"
"No, and I'm not going to," Jake called from the living room. "And where's my damned tea?"
Joe grinned as he filled the kettle. Sarah had to stop herself offering to take over. Joe Kazinsky clearly had complete control over his kitchen, and didn't need any assistance from her, however well-meaning.
"She was six," Joe's eyes twinkled with pride.
"Stop it Pop!" Jay yelled from the other room.
"It's a good story," Joe yelled back. He turned to Sarah and lowered his voice. "It wasn't her fault. Well, it kinda was, but that kid had it coming."
By this time, Jay was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, leaning against the door jamb, an amused look on her face.
"It was this kid at school. She'd been teasing one of the boys in Jake's class."
"She didn't just tease him," Jay remembered, "she bullied him. Horribly. Just because he'd peed himself in the playground."
"That's true. So my little Jake wanted to protect the boy. What was his name Jake?"
"Billy," Jay reminded him.
"That's right. So my Jake pretended that nothing had happened, and invited this girl over. They both climbed up the tree, and Jake helped her to climb right to the top with her. Then Jakey tied a rope to the tree and climbed down. She left that little brat, what was she called?"
"Sukie," Jay grimaced.
"Sukie. Damned stupid name. Jake left her at the top of the tree, and refused to help her climb down. She was too scared."
"It was an awful thing to do," Jay's voice was quiet.
"Bullshit," Joe said. "Sukie was so frightened she peed herself. Jake then put up a ladder and helped her down. Sukie was so scared that Jake would tell everyone at school that she'd peed her pants."
"And did you?" Sarah asked curiously.
"Of course I didn't," Jake said. "She'd learned her lesson. So did I," she looked thoughtful. "Cruelty is never fun, even if you think it's justified."
"Billy was never bullied again," Joe reminded her. "Thanks to you."
"I'm still not proud of it, Pop," Jay's voice was soft.
"Well I damned well am. I'm proud of everything you do!" Joe declared.
Jay laughed. "You're my dad. It's your job to be proud of me! C'mon, where's my tea?" she teased as the kettle came to the boil.
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"That was delicious Joe," Sarah smiled two hours later as they sat at the table. "Thank you so much."
"You like Scrabble?" Jay asked Sarah. "Or we could play cards?"
Joe shook his head. "You two should go," he said.
"We always play games after dinner," Jay protested.
"Not tonight, baby girl. You two should go back, spend the evening together. What's left of it."
"Let me do the dishes first," Sarah stood up and started to gather plates.
"Not this time," Joe insisted. "I mean it. You two should have some time alone."
"But Pop...," Jay started.
"Scram," Joe said, rolling toward her with a mock-threatening expression on his face.
"Okay, okay," Jay grinned, her hands in the air as if in surrender. "Friday next week good for you?"
"I'll see you then," Joe said.
"We'll talk on the phone," Jay picked up her leather jacket.
Joe turned to Sarah who was shrugging on her own jacket. "You, I want to see again," he smiled.
"You will," Sarah smiled happily. "Thank you so much. I've had a great time."
"I make the best borscht in the city," Joe said.
"You do," Sarah agreed. She hugged him warmly.
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Jay drew up carefully in the parking lot next to Sarah's car. She felt bereft as Sarah's hands dropped from her waist and they both dismounted.
Sarah handed Jay the helmet. "Thank you," she said softly. "It was great. I love your dad."
Jay smiled. "He loves you too. I can tell."
"I bet he's like that with everyone," Sarah demurred.
Jay shook her head. "No, he's not. He didn't like my last girlfriend. Turned out he was right," she spoke in a whisper.
Sarah could tell that the memory was not a good one; instinctively, she reached out and gave Jay's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"You want to come in?" Jay pulled herself together. "I haven't shown you my apartment. Or we could go for a drink? Whatever you want."
"I'd love to come in. I really want to see where you live."
Jay nodded, reaching out for Sarah's hand. She led her into the building and into the elevator, pressing the button for the sixth floor. "It's not a big place," she said. "But I like it."
Sarah entered the apartment, and was immediately taken by how warm and relaxing it was. "This is lovely," she said quietly. "Mind if I look round?"
"Look all you like," Jay said, smiling as Sarah inspected the photographs on the wall.
"These are amazing," Sarah said. "Where did you get them?" she reached out and touched the frame of a particularly lovely black and white shot of an old man sitting on a bench, a dreamy smile on his face, completely oblivious to the camera.
"I took them," Jay said shyly. "I like taking pictures."
"You took them? You're kidding?" Sarah was astounded. "But these should be in a gallery. You've got real talent."
Jay shrugged, self-deprecatingly. "I'm no expert. I just like to record stuff. Especially things that have moved me. That one," she pointed to the photo with the old man. "I was having a bad day. Everything felt real bleak. So I went for a walk in the park, and I saw him. He's gotta be, what, at least 90? Probably more. And he was so happy. Serene. Something made him smile that day. Maybe it was a memory. But it … God this is going to sound so hokey. It gave me hope. Things would get better. And," she ran her hand down Sarah's soft cheek. "They did."
Sarah swallowed, seeing the affection in Jay's face.
"You want a drink?" Jay asked.
Sarah nodded, suddenly at a loss for words.
Jay reached into a cabinet and withdrew a bottle of 18-year-old whisky. "I haven't tried this yet. Some guy we rescued brought it in to say thanks. I've been saving it for a special occasion."
"I shouldn't," Sarah said reluctantly. "I'm driving."
"You could always stay here?" Jay's voice was soft. "You can take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch if you want."
Sarah looked deep into her eyes. "I'd love to stay," she kissed Jay tenderly on the lips. "But I don't want you to sleep on the couch. I want to be near you. With you. I want to make love to you," her voice cracked with emotion.
Jay nodded. "That's what I want too. More than anything."
"You get some glasses, I'll just text Alex and Olivia. I don't want them to worry."
Jay returned as Sarah was slipping her cellphone back into her pocket, and poured a generous measure into each glass. Jay took a large sip. She grinned as the liquid burned satisfactorily in her gullet. "That's good," she said.
Sarah took a slug, and coughed, causing Jay to grin. "I don't drink whisky usually," she smiled as she recovered.
Jay took the glass from Sarah and set it on the table next to her own. She took her face in both hands, and kissed her gently. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.
Sarah nodded. "You're so beautiful," she said quietly, kissing her softly on the lips. "I'm falling for you so hard, Jay Kazinsky. I can't stop thinking about you," she kissed her again.
Jay nodded. "I feel the same way," her breathing quickened as Sarah helped her out of her jacket, letting the leather garment hit the floor. She reached out and dragged Sarah's jacket from her, smiling as her hand brushed against a full breast. "You are so sexy," she cupped her breast, grinning as she lifted it to feel its glorious weight. She inhaled sharply as she felt Sarah push herself against her. "Bedroom?"
Sarah nodded, and allowed herself to be led through to the other room.
Jay smiled at Sarah. "Are you sure you want to do this? There's no hurry. I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for."
"I've never been more ready for anything," Sarah's voice was husky as she pressed a hand against Jay's jean-clad center.
Jay gasped at the sensations that seared through her. She reached out and slowly undid the buttons on Sarah's shirt, watching her face carefully to make sure Sarah was happy with what was happening. She smiled as she saw only anticipation and... lust. She drew the sleeves down Sarah's arms, transfixed by the sight of Sarah's large, beautiful breasts encased in a red silk bra.
"Take it off," Sarah spoke in a low voice.
"You sure?" Jay asked.
Sarah took one of Jay's hands and pulled it to her breast, enjoying the look of delight in her girlfriend's face as she felt a rock-hard nipple through the material. "I'm sure."
Jay reached out behind Sarah's back and released the clasp, pulling the flimsy garment away from Sarah's flesh. "Oh God," she could barely speak at the sight before her. "Oh Sarah...," tenderly she fingered a pale pink nipple. "Can I?"
Sarah nodded, but couldn't suppress a cry of ecstasy as Jay's mouth closed around the nipple, kissing softly at first, but increasing in intensity. When Jay's tongue slipped out and encircled the hardened nub, Sarah's control left her and she cried out, pulling Jay further to her.
Sarah slid one hand down the front of Jay's jeans, watching carefully to ensure her girlfriend was happy, and almost came when she encountered her swollen, sodden folds.
"Bed," Jay gasped, lifting Sarah carefully in her strong arms and laying her down on the bed. She made short work of Sarah's jeans, casting them onto the floor.
"I want to see you," Sarah was barely able to speak. She reached up and untucked Jay's t-shirt.
Jay put a restraining hand on Sarah's. Sarah couldn't interpret the expression on Jay's face.
"There's something you should know," Jay said tentatively. "In case you don't like it. I've... I've got a piercing. Well, two. Here," she took Sarah's hand and pulled it to her left breast.
Through the material of Jay's t-shirt and bra, Sarah could feel something solid. "Can I see?" she asked quietly.
Without speaking, Jay pulled off her t-shirt in one swift motion, kneeling on the bed facing Sarah. Sarah sat up and smiled as she took in the sight of Jay's muscular torso, her strong arms contrasting with the silkiness of her skin. Sarah cupped her breasts, grinning as she felt the metal of the piercings through the material of Jay's bra. Slowly she reached round Jay's back, watching her expression to make sure she wasn't doing anything Jay didn't want her to. She released the clasp of Jay's bra, her eyes fixed on her breasts.
"Oh my God," Sarah whispered, when her eyes first saw the round ring and small bar that pierced her girlfriend's right nipple.
"If you don't like them, I can take them out. I don't ever have to wear them again," Jay sounded worried.
Sarah reached out and fingered the silver jewelry, her eyes opening wide in wonder at the sensations coursing through her. "That is just about the hottest thing I've ever seen," she gasped.
"You don't mind?" Jay was still tentative. "Some people don't like it."
"I love it," Sarah breathed, her eyes darting from one unadorned nipple to the other with its silverware. Grinning, she cupped a breast in each hand, her thumbs flicking playfully against the nipples. "I can't decide which one I like best."
Jay's eyes closed as she whimpered with barely controlled desire.
Sarah leant forward and took the ringed nipple softly in her mouth, letting her tongue toy with the turgid flesh. She let her hands drop to Jay's waist, undoing her jeans and tugging urgently at the stiff material. "I want to see all of you."
Jay lifted her hips as Sarah dragged her pants down her toned, muscular legs.
"You're so beautiful," Sarah told her. Reverently, she caressed a strong thigh. "I want you to come here," her tone was gentle and loving, as she pulled Jay into her lap.
When Jay was facing Sarah fully, she cupped her soft cheek tenderly, leaning forward to kiss her passionately.
Sarah gasped at the feelings, both physical and emotional, that the kiss elicited. She returned the kiss fervently, plundering her lover's mouth with her questing tongue, her ardor rising sharply at the sound of Jay's moans of ecstasy.
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Sarah came first, her sweat-slicked body pressed hard against Jay's, pulling Jay's mouth to her own breast as she rode her expert fingers. She cried out as wave after wave of ecstasy overwhelmed her. "Oh God. Oh Jay. That was... You are...," she whimpered as she collapsed in Jay's strong arms. "I've never felt like that. You make me feel so...," panting, she struggled to regain control over her breathing.
Jay encircled Sarah, holding her lovingly, relishing the incredible closeness she felt with her. Even her own urgent need was set aside as she held Sarah, looking adoringly at her, watching as surrendered herself so completely to her.
Eventually Sarah regained a measure of control. She turned in Jay's arms and looked at her, startled to see the level of emotion in Jay's eyes. "You okay?" she asked quietly, kissing her very softly on the lips.
Jay just nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
Sarah smiled. She kissed her again, this time more ardently. "Your turn," she whispered to Jay as she regained her strength.
"You don't have to," Jay said.
"I want to," Sarah leant in and took Jay's nipple in her mouth, gasping with pleasure as she felt the two pieces of silver chink tantalizingly against each other.
"Oh... Sarah...," Jay tried to control herself.
Sarah smiled as, very gently, she pushed Jay onto her back, without releasing her nipple. She continued to toy with it for long minutes, her own arousal rising once more at the sound of Jay's impassioned responses. She transferred her attentions to the other breast and then, very slowly, starting to work her way down Jay's body.
When Jay climaxed, the sensations rocking her body and her soul almost overwhelmed her. She bucked desperately against Sarah, all language lost as she gasped and panted desperately.
Sarah was thrilled at Jay's responsiveness. She crawled back up her body to claim a kiss, and saw to her surprise that Jay's face was streaked with tears.
"Jay?" she ran her hand softly down her face. "What is it honey?"
Jay tried to turn away from her.
"Jay?" Sarah very gently cupped her face and turned it toward her. "Are you okay?"
She saw Jay's beautiful brown eyes, looking almost black in the half light. Jay nodded. "I am now," she whispered. "For the first time in two years. I really am."
Sarah looked at her. She hesitated, swallowing nervously. "I love you Jay," she said quietly. "Like I've never loved anyone."
Jay's face crumpled once more; instinct took over, and Sarah wrapped her arms round her. She held her as she shook with emotion, one hand rubbing her back lovingly, the other in Jay's soft, dark, short hair.
"I love you too," Jay whispered eventually.
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Olivia blinked and peered at the clock; 4.57am. The space next to her in the bed was cold and empty. She started to sit up, as the bedroom door opened, and she saw Alex coming in, baby Lily in her arms.
"Hey," Alex said softly, as she sat on the bed. She kissed her softly.
"Hey," Olivia smiled.
"Somebody's hoping for a snack," Alex teased lightly, as she reached out with one hand, slowly flicking open the buttons on Olivia's nightshirt. She passed over the child, and smiled lovingly as Lily immediately began suckling. "How did you sleep, Liv?"
"Like the dead," Olivia smiled. "You?"
"Great. Until your daughter decided it was breakfast time," Alex grinned.
"She's only my daughter when she's hungry," Olivia bantered. "We all know that she becomes your daughter when it's time for a clean diaper."
"I know my place," Alex smiled.
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8.20am
"No newspaper," Alex pouted as she came back into the apartment, a fistful of mail in her hand.
"That's twice this week they haven't delivered!" Olivia said. "We have to have a newspaper. I know how much you like to do the crossword over breakfast. Here," she passed a gurgling Lily over to Alex. "I'll go get one. I'll be right back."
"You don't have to do that," Alex protested, smiling at her daughter as she took her.
"It'll just take a minute. In the meantime, you can open the mail. See if we've won the lottery."
"Not likely," Alex grinned. "We don't buy any tickets."
"I don't need one," Olivia leant down and cupped her face lovingly, kissing her tenderly. "Living with you is like winning the lottery every day."
Alex's eyes filled. "Smooth talker," she muttered. "Your mama is a charmer," she told Lily.
Olivia smiled and grabbed her keys.
Ten minutes later, Olivia was back, the newspaper under one arm and a paper bag in one hand. "Chocolate croissants," she announced triumphantly. "I know how you... Alex, are you okay?" she asked worriedly, as she saw Alex's face. Alex looked upset, and she had both arms around Lily, and was hugging her close. In her hand was a letter.
Alex just looked at her, hurt in her eyes. She shook her head slightly.
Olivia placed her burdens on the table. She reached out for the letter. "Can I look?" she asked, gently.
Alex nodded.
Olivia took the letter and started to read.
Alex,
This is a hard letter for me to write. There are two things you should know. I asked Brian to leave this morning. You were right. He doesn't love me. He never really loved Sarah. I know I made a lot of mistakes with Sarah, but I loved her, at least. I still do. One day I'll find the courage to contact her and tell her that.
The second is something you'll probably read in Friday's newspaper. Mother has had a stroke. It's serious, but not life-threatening, at least that's what the doctors tell me. Her speech is affected, and she's partially paralyzed down her left side. I did ask her if she wanted to see you, but she doesn't, and for that, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about a lot of other things too. I'm sorry about the way I treated you. I was wrong, utterly wrong. But you know that.
I'm determined to change my life now. Without Brian, I feel a little isolated, but also strangely strong. So I'm going to focus on charity work. I was even thinking of volunteering in Africa, but with Mother that won't be possible, at least for a while.
I know it's not fair to ask your forgiveness. I hope one day to see you, and your family. Graham tells me you have a beautiful daughter. I can only pray that you do a better job of mothering than I did.
I'm so sorry,
Carolyn
p.s. I'm writing to Graham too today, so he'll know about Mother as soon as you do.
Olivia looked over at Alex. "Alexandra?" her voice was tentative. "Are you okay?"
Alex nodded, continuing to cradle Lily tight. "I am," she said, softly. "Because I have you. And Lily."
Olivia knelt at Alex's feet, and took her hand, stroking her face tenderly. "You'll always have us."
"I know," Alex whispered.
