Chapter Seven: Rex Tears the Roof Off the Sucker

In an instant, Pegasus's hand covered Weevil's eyes.

As if reading Weevil's mind, Rex objected, "Um, excuse me, what told you that we'd destroyed that thing? You couldn't possibly know that!"

"Have you not figured it out, or you are simply that thick? A psychic bond with the Wyrm is permanent for those who let it taste their blood. We felt you shatter its sacred body, and then—nothing. When you stole the Wyrm, we saw your every move, including your destruction of the form that kept it alive. Now you are here, and you must pay!" Great Orange finished his monologue with a hand signal to the cluster of cultists, who applauded him.

Rex groaned. "Just get on with it, old man. I end my turn."
"Gladly." Great Orange drew a card. "Heh heh…I equip Serpent God's Minion with Serpent's Tooth! Now he can pierce your defense-position monster! Attack, Serpent God's Minion!"

The man-like monster in the orange robe ran across the field and bit the bowing Two-Headed King Rex on one of its tiny arms, making the saurian creature shatter.

"Now you lose four hundred life points!" shouted Great Orange.

"I know! I can read the counter on my own Duel Disk, thank you very much!" Rex stood with one hand on his hip.

The cult leader cleared his throat. "Now, Serpent God's Bride doesn't have enough attack power for your Crawling Dragon, so I'll use her daughter's special ability. Serpent God's Daughter, attack his life points directly!"

The reptile girl sprinted across the dungeon floor and kicked Rex's Duel Disk, knocking him backward slightly and making him shout. She returned to the side of her mother and male relative, and Rex stood erect again.

"You're down to sixteen hundred life points, and you haven't so much as scratched mine," said Great Orange with a sneer. "Why don't you just give up and hurl yourself into Sangréana's mouth?"

"I don't give up, old man! Just you wait!"

Sweat trickled down Weevil's forehead. Rex could snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat sometimes, but was this time one of those? For their sake, it had to be. It had to be…

"Let's see if you can impress me…and save your life. I end my turn."

From the distance between the makeshift arena and the cell, Weevil studied Rex's next draw carefully. His friend and lover cracked a toothy smile of the kind Weevil knew well.

"Heh heh, I've been waiting for this! You might have tried to scare me with cards I'd never seen before, but I guarantee you've never seen this card before! I tribute Crawling Dragon Number Two and summon…Raphtontis the Night-Flyer!"

Crawling Dragon disappeared, and in its place materialized an Archaeopteryx. Purple and black feathers covered the prehistoric bird's body, save for its scaly green underside and yellow legs. The proto-bird's eyes glowed golden in the dark.

A collective gasp arose from the cultists.

"What the hell is that?" Great Orange asked.

"Raphtontis is a dinosaur that only I can use. Its special ability lets me summon it by tributing just one dinosaur-type monster from the field or my from my hand! And now, I declare battle. Attack Serpent God's Minion, Raphtontis!"

On its chicken-like legs, Raphtontis ran over to the leader's side of the field and tore Serpent God's Minion with its teeth, shredding the hooded figure apart.

"Boo-yah!" shouted Rex. "How do you like me now, creep?"

Great Orange drew his next card. "I had hoped that this would not be necessary, but it appears I have no choice. In a cruel twist of irony, the card I have drawn is the card I wanted most to play, but I will have to tribute summon by sacrificing these two monsters. It hardly matters, though. Once I summon my ultimate card, I will win this duel, and your life will be forfeit. First, I set this card face down. Now, I tribute Serpent God's Bride and Serpent God's Daughter to summon…Serpent God Avatar!"

Weevil squeezed Pegasus's lower arm. This was the moment to which this duel had been building up. The entomophile braced himself for what he might see, although he knew he could not prepare himself. What monster might appear next? Something similar to Yig? A serpent-man hybrid?

As it turned out, the answer was neither. Great Orange placed a card on his Duel Disk…and nothing materialized on the field. The space before Great Orange remained bare but for the single face-down card.

"What is this? I just tributed two monsters! Serpent God Avatar doesn't have to be summoned by those three monsters' effects! We wrote the card text so that it could be tribute summoned like any other tribute monster if need be! Why hasn't it showed up?"

Growls of rage erupted from Great Orange's throat. As his voice rumbled, his skin began to flake and peel away. Entire strips of flesh tore themselves from his body. Underneath his mammalian coating was an expanse of dark green scales.

This time, Weevil could not hold back his shriek. He should not have worried about the summoning of Serpent God Avatar, whatever it looked like; this was what filled him with horror. Daring himself to keep his eyes open, he saw the cultists along the far wall start to shed their own human skin. Their soft pink flesh burst apart, and the scales underneath glistened in what little light streamed into the dungeon.

Strangely, Rex seemed to ignore this new development. "Are you gonna end your turn or what? This duel can't last forever."

"Argh…yes, I end my turn."

"Good." Rex drew a card and set it on his Duel Disk. "I set a card. Now, Raphtontis, attack his life points directly!"

Raphtontis began a running start toward the leader's side of the field, but Great Orange declared, "I reveal my face-down card: Mirror Wall! My trap activates!"

A reflective wall made of jagged crystal emerged from the card and divided the two sides of the field in half. Raphtontis bit at its own reflection.

"Ha! Your monster has only twelve hundred attack points now!"

"Don't get excited, lizard-man. I end my turn, but just you wait."

Great Orange hissed his laughter as he drew his next card. "Even at the cost of two thousand life points, I keep Mirror Wall on the field. That leaves me with eight hundred life points, but I know what to do. I summon Armored Lizard in attack mode."

On the field appeared a man-sized bipedal blue lizard with a bright green throat, red eyes, and sharp-toothed jaws, poised for battle.

"His monster is weakened, Armored Lizard. Attack!"

The blue lizard creature lunged at Raphtontis.

"Uh-uh, I told you not to get cocky," said Rex. "I activate Enemy Controller!"

Armored Lizard crouched on the floor in a manner resembling Crawling Dragon's, and a spark of pride flared in Weevil's heart. "Rex! You're using strategy for a change!" he called from across the dungeon.

Grumbling, Great Orange said, "I end my turn."

"My turn!" Rex chirped. He drew a card, placed it on his Duel Disk, and announced, "I set a card face down."

"Do you have no more monsters to summon, thief?" asked the leader.

"No. I'm sticking with Raphtontis. He's all I need…this turn. In fact, I'm so confident that I'll win, I'm not even going to attack right away. I end my turn."

What? Rex had been dueling so well up to now. How could he risk his, Weevil's, and Pegasus's lives just to prove a stupid point?

"You can't be serious! You don't know what he has up his sleeve!" shouted Weevil.

"I know what I'm doing!" Rex shouted back.

"Enough chatter," said the leader. He drew a card. "First, I send Mirror Wall to the graveyard."

The wall of reflective crystal vanished.

"I now summon Oshaleon in defense mode."

A chameleon with scales that faded from yellow to green to blue and finally to purple appeared on the field. White stars decorated the reptile's back.

"There is nothing else I can do for now. I end my turn."

Rex drew a card. "Nyeh heh heh…I like this card. But I won't play it just yet. I won't have Raphtontis attack, either. I'm ending my turn."

For the second time, Weevil wanted to beat his head against the bars of the cell. What was Rex playing at? He liked to crush his opponents' life points into dust as quickly as possible!

Now Great Orange drew a card. A grin crept across his reptilian face.

"You will regret your decision not to attack—just before you die beneath Sangréana's fangs. The card I just drew will soon turn the tables. I tribute Oshaleon and Armored Lizard to summon Red-Eyes Black Dragon!"

And there, on Mister Jones's side of the field, the two inferior reptiles disappeared, and it manifested: the spiky black dragon with gleaming red eyes. The marvelous black beast proclaimed its majesty with a roar.

Weevil gasped, and so did Rex.

"Red-Eyes! It's my old pal! What're you doing with these creeps, buddy?"

Mister Jones scoffed. "'Buddy'? You are pathetic. Why do you care about monsters from a card game at your age?"

Black flames ignited in Weevil's heart.

"How dare you!" he heard himself say. He began to rise to his feet, but Pegasus gave him a light touch on the shoulder, reminding him to sit back down.

The older gentleman asked, "Excuse me, but is there something wrong with an adult enjoying card games?"

"Yeah, what they said!" Rex said with a nod. "You're playin' Duel Monsters, too, unless my eyes're deceivin' me. How can you even ask that?"

"We use this card game because we want power. Our Serpent God favors us above all others. When we spread his image all over this stinking planet through the means of this game, he is certain to be summoned in the flesh, and then he will reward us with an honored place at his side while we enslave the rest of the human race. Face it, card games are only good for two things: power and money. They sway the minds of those who play them, and they reap profits for those who manufacture and sell them. As long as there are plenty of losers and suckers like you in the world, men like Pegasus will always be rich and powerful."

"I beg your pardon!" said Pegasus.

The cultists along the far wall laughed in unison, and Great Orange cracked a smile.

"Red-Eyes Black Dragon is a fearsome reptile, a worthy ally and formidable foe," the leader continued. "But do I call it my friend? No. It is a tool for the use of our group's supreme purpose. Both my dragon and your dinosaur have the same attack points, so I will refrain from declaring battle now. I end my turn. On my next turn, however, you can expect defeat and death."

"We'll see about that! You won't get away with abusing Red-Eyes! I won't let you!" He drew a card, and a high-pitched cry arose from his mouth.

"This is it!" he shouted. "This card will mean your doom!" He slapped the card down on his Duel Disk. "I activate the spell card Change of Heart!"

Weevil's eyes widened.

"For one turn, I can take control of my opponent's monster. And even if you had other monsters on the field, I would still choose the one I'm choosing now: Red-Eyes Black Dragon! Red-Eyes, come to Papa!"

The black dragon strode across the field and stood in front of Rex, who trembled as he spoke.

"Now, Red-Eyes Black Dragon! Attack his life points directly! Inferno! bFire/b! BBLAST/b!"

Red-Eyes belched a stream of fireballs, which exploded against Great Orange. The leader screamed as the holographic flames struck his body and Duel Disk.

When the smoke cleared, Great Orange stood there shaking, his life points depleted entirely.

"Well. You have won. I did not expect it. You may go. Jones, go set the other prisoners free."

With relief cresting in his chest, Weevil watched Mister Jones approach the cell that held him and Pegasus. The leader's closest subordinate swung a ring of keys in one hand as he walked. He selected one key from the iron ring and nearly touched it to the cell door's keyhole.

Then he pulled back.

"Excuse me, but Raptor boy won that duel fairly," said Pegasus. "You must honor your word by setting us all free."

"Oh, I'm unlocking the cell," said Jones. He stuck the key in the hole and twisted, opening the door with a cracking noise.

Weevil sprang to his feet. "Finally!" He moved to exit through the open door.

Jones snickered. His gaze traveled to the giant snake that remained curled up in her nest. "You must be hungry, Sangréana. We know we haven't fed you as often as we should. Start with the interlopers!"

Icicles stabbed Weevil's mind. The duel was a farce. This cult was going to actualize their plan no matter what.

As tears began to leak from Weevil's eyes, Jones continued to goad the snake. "Come on, girl. Eat the captives in this cell, move on to the little cretin you see standing over there, and then you can have your lamb. Come on. Come on." He tapped on the cell bars, as if trying to get Sangréana's attention. "What are you, stupid? We've had some dumb pets before, but you must be the dumbest!"

In the next moment, Weevil saw something for which he knew he should have tried to prepare himself. Seeing a hologram of a giant snake monster in a duel was one matter. Seeing humans turn into reptiles before his eyes was another. But seeing this was a third matter yet.

Hissing, Sangréana reared herself up, opening her mouth. She slid out of her nest, bypassed Pegasus and Weevil, and pushed the cell door open with her head. The snake slithered up to Jones, who turned to face her.

Shaking, he stuck a hand out just above her lowered head. "Uh…I didn't mean it when I called you stupid. You're still a good, obedient girl, ain't you?"

Sangréana distended her jaw and swallowed Jones feet first. His screams reverberated through the dungeon as more and more of his body disappeared into the serpent's mouth.

Weevil tried to tear his gaze away from the sight in front of him, but his eyes remained fixed to the spot.

His eyes stayed where they were as Sangréana slithered throughout the dungeon and swallowed every half-human, half-reptile cultist one by one. Their shrieks evidently meant nothing to their "pet," which pursued them down the hallway through which they must have entered the dungeon originally. Finally, the only scream in the room came from Rex, who stood there trembling from fear rather than excitement.

Sangréana crawled up to him. Instead of opening her mouth to swallow him, she bowed her head.

Rex stopped shaking. "What are you doing, snakey?"

"Snakes can't talk," said Weevil, who, like Pegasus, stayed inside the cell.

"This one's talking to me. She says, 'Thank you for saving me. Now I have to go. Goodbye.'"

The giant snake slithered back to the other end of the room and through the hallway. Her hissing carried for the next few minutes until the sound dissipated.

Pegasus stood up and stretched his muscles. "Ah, that was tiring. Come along, boys. Let's follow the way Sangréana went and leave this dreadful place."

"Good idea, Mister Pegasus," said Weevil, who wished he could think of something more intelligent to add. Then he saw something that gave him that opportunity. "Hey, look over there!"

"What's that, Weeves?"

The shape of a Duel Disk stood out in the darkness. "He dropped his Duel Disk."

The three men walked over to the object, and Rex bent down and removed the cards and the remainder of the deck from their slots.

"Mister Pegasus," Rex began, "I'm gonna steal some of this guy's cards. That's okay with you, right?"

"Throw away those Serpent God cards. Otherwise, help yourself."

Rex looked through the cards in his hand. "Let's see. I want that Serpent's Tooth equip spell. And here it is!" He read the card text out loud: "'A reptile-, dinosaur-, or sea serpent-type monster equipped with this card gains the ability to inflict piercing battle damage on an enemy monster.' Excellent!"

He stuffed the card in his pocket and continued to look through the deck. "Hmm…Sphere Kuriboh's hard to come by. I'm taking that. I could use another Mirror Wall, too. But here's the big one!"

Rex plucked the Red-Eyes Black Dragon card from the deck and waved the card in his companions' faces.

"After all these years, he's come back to me! Oh, Red-Eyes, we've got catching up to do!"

As Rex kissed his long-lost favorite card, Weevil flashed back to his recent dreams, and his heart began to warm itself.

"You don't want to see this," whispered the American gentleman, and for once, Weevil took another person's word for something.

Unfortunately, he could still hear, and his ears detected the padding of many pairs of shoes on the stone floor, followed by another bleat. Then Mister Jones began to speak.

"Brethren and sisters of the ophidian path, we are once again sadly delayed in our Great Purpose. The man in whom we trusted has squandered his talents in the continued pursuit of making games for children, and although we admire him for that, we must also despise him for his failure to actualize our ultimate plan. Furthermore, the heavens have gifted us with a quarry we once feared never to capture: one of the meddlers who destroyed the Wyrm. And what do we do with meddlers?"

"We consign them to the serpent's jaws!" shouted the crowd.

"Indeed. But first, we must open this meeting with the standard protocol."

In an instant, the sound of a blade slicing across a throat rang through the air, as did a screeching bleat. Then something landed on the dungeon floor with a thud.

Weevil felt his gorge rise. Watching a spider drain a fly of its vital juices was a pleasing pastime, but something about this situation struck him as completely different. Immediately after his stomach lurched, it sank: only he could be the "meddler" of whom Mister Jones spoke. Worse, Jones mentioned the Wyrm, which had to be the Wyrm of the Wastelands that caused him and Rex an abundance of riches followed by nearly fatal peril in Hollywood. What these people's connection to that wretched artifact was, let alone how they knew what he and Rex had done to it, was a mystery that he supposed had no choice but to be solved. Trembling, Weevil lifted Pegasus's hand from his eyes. The American man let him do it.

"Now, we have only but to wait," the cult leader announced from beside the lamb's bleeding corpse.

Suddenly, the largest snake Weevil had ever seen slithered through the doorway and into the cell. Holding back a scream, he saw that this serpent was easily the size of Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth, and the reptile's skin consisted of a shining mottled pattern of jade and bronze. The snake's eyes glowed yellow in the dim lighting. Most surprising of all, however, was the person who rode in with the snake, nestled in the curve between its neck and back. As the serpent curled up in its nest, the rider jumped off and scrambled to his feet on the cell floor, carrying the egg or egg-like object Weevil remembered.

"Rex!" said Weevil.

"Raptor boy!" said Pegasus.

"Sangréana!" said Mister Jones. "And you've brought the other meddler with you!" He turned to his followers. "She has come, brethren and sisters! Strange though it is that she has not devoured the other interloper, we will remedy that. Who will take this knife and plunge it into the miscreants' hearts?"

"Wait!" shouted Pegasus. "I have a better idea!"

The cult leader waved his hands in the air to silence his followers. "Did you hear that, brethren and sisters? Our captive believes he can improve upon our methods!" He smirked.

"If you will follow my suggestion, I will more than submit to your will. I not only accept your decision to paint the likeness of your god; I will mass-market the cards you create so that every household in civilization will know the rending of the soul that comes from a true monster invocation. Every Duel Monsters-player will be as you are. Soon, the whole world will serve your god."

A "true monster invocation"? What could that possibly mean? How was summoning whatever monster these people wanted to base on their snake god different from summoning any other monster in the game?

He began to say, "Excuse me, Mister—"

A chorus of mocking laughter followed by a loud shush interrupted his question.

"Do not laugh, brethren and sisters. This man is renowned for his genius. He may know better than we how to entrench our god's domination. Now, Maximillion Pegasus, what do you propose we do rather than feed your…fanboys…to our serpent?"

"I propose a duel. You took Duel Disks from me when you captured me. Let one of these young men duel you. If you win, you may do as you like with their lives, and I will ensure that the image of your god finds its way into all Duel Monsters-playing households. If he wins, however, you must release all of us."

Mister Jones snickered, as did several of his followers. "Very well. For all their talent at ruining things for us, I do not expect that either of these pipsqueaks will pose much of a challenge on the dueling field, so I—"

A shushing noise ended Jones's words abruptly. "You are not he leader of this society, Jones. I am. It is who must take up the challenge."

The voice belonged to the middle-aged man who had greeted Weevil and Rex at the door. Now the leader, strapping a Duel Disk on his arm, stepped forward to face the cell. Weevil could not think of him as "Grandpa," a term that implied a certain warmth or at least a peculiar charm. This man could only be called…Great Orange.

"I accept. Which of you would like to die first?"

Weevil moved to stand, but Rex lunged himself at the bars of the cell. "I'll duel you, you creep! Your reptiles against my reptiles. Let's go."

In minutes, Rex and Orange stood across from each other, each with a Duel Disk strapped to his wrist. The cult members clustered against the wall opposite the cell, where Pegasus and Weevil huddled too close to Sangréana the giant serpent. The massive snake lay silent in her nest, her coils rising and falling with her breath.

"Let's duel!" both men said. Each of them drew five cards.

"My Duel Disk says I go first," said Rex. "I activate a field spell, Jurassic World! Go, Crawling Dragon Number Two!"

In the bleak space between the two duelists appeared a hologram of a deep brown dragon with a pale brown belly, spiky crests down its back, and, thanks to the field spell, nineteen hundred attack points. Despite the stance implied by its name, the monster stood on its hind legs.

"Now, I equip Crawling Dragon with Raise Body Heat! And I set this card face down."

Crawling Dragon #2 stood on the field with 2200 attack points.

"I end my turn. Try and pick me off now!" Rex said with a grin.

"Certainly," said the leader. "From my hand, I activate De-Spell."
Jurassic World vanished, causing Crawling Dragon #2's attack points to drop to nineteen hundred.

"So?" Rex said with a sneer. "Crawling Dragon's still got a lot of attack power. Let's see you try to summon something with two thousand attack points right off the bat!"

"I don't need to. First, I set this card face down. Next, I summon Serpent God's Daughter in attack mode."

In front of the leader materialized the image of a woman in a neon orange shirt and shorts, complete with strawberry blonde pigtails. She would have been a dead ringer for Sheila Smith, if not for the slit red eyes and the fangs in her mouth.

Rex took a step back. "Holy crap! How'd you get a card that looks just like—like—"

"Like one of our own family? Your hero Pegasus was kind enough to design this card for us. He has some sense in his head, you know."

The dinosaur aficionado straightened himself. "Well…uh…I'm not scared. She only has a thousand attack points. Crawling Dragon Number Two will stomp her flat."

"It will not. This card has two special abilities. Here is the first. Serpent God's Daughter, attack his life points directly!"

The fanged woman raced across the dungeon floor and snapped at Rex's face, making him stumble slightly. When she zipped back to her master's side, Rex looked at his Duel Disk and saw that he had three thousand life points remaining.

He snarled. "Hmph. This duel's just started."

"So you say. I end my turn."

Rex drew a card, and Weevil felt his heart thump against his rib cage. His friend placed a card on his Duel Disk.

"I summon Two-Headed King Rex!"

Next to Crawling Dragon appeared a purple-skinned therapod-like creature with a pair of draconic wings and two horned heads that stared with pupil-less eyes and roared with mouths full of sharp teeth.

"This'll be a short main phase. Two-Headed King Rex, attack!"

As the misbegotten product of a confusion of large reptiles charged at the even more ill-conceived monster on the other side of the field, Great Orange declared, "Stop right there. I reveal a face-down card! Windstorm of Etaqua!"

Jones's face-down card turned itself face-up, and Two-Headed King Rex screeched to a halt and crouched down as though he were brooding. Crawling Dragon #2 now assumed the position its name implied, touching its belly to the stone floor.

As Weevil seethed from within his prison cell and watched Rex shake his fist, the leader explained, "Windstorm of Etaqua changes the battle positions of all the monsters my opponent's got on the field."

"I know!" said Rex. "I have that card, too! It's a damn good one! Grr…I end my turn."

"Now it's my turn," said the leader. "I draw." He drew a card, looked at it, and leered at his opponent.

"Well, it's my lucky night," he said. The leader's voice now assumed a deep, sibilant undercurrent that Weevil never noticed before, but the effect was audible now. "If it isn't just the card I wanted. Funny how that works out. First, I set this card face down. Then I summon Serpent God's Bride in attack mode!"

Beside Serpent God's Daughter appeared a tall, pale woman clad in an orange robe with drooping sleeves. Her green hair trailed behind her in a sextet of pointed spirals. The monster woman's eyes glowed with a golden light.

Rex snorted. "How's that supposed to scare me? It only has twelve hundred attack points."

"When Serpent God's Bride is summoned immediately after Serpent God's Daughter, I can special summon the third member of the family!" hissed the leader. He lay another card in a slot on his Duel Disk.

"Come forth, Serpent God's Minion!"

A man in a bright orange robe identical to that worn by the Bride and all the human members of this strange clan appeared on the field. His skin was mottled green and white, and he carried a chalice in one hand.

"When these three monsters are on the field, I can a couple of really special things, but not until my next two turns. It's your move, you thief."

Weevil blanched, and Pegasus lay a hand on his forehead as if to soothe him.

Jones snickered, and his nails unmistakably elongated and sharpened.

"Ack!" Weevil shrieked. "How did he do that? What's happening?"

Rex whipped his head in Weevil's direction and said, "Your guess is as good as mine!" Then he looked at the card he just drew. "Hmph…nothing I can use in this draw. But whatever that 'something special' you mentioned is, I don't care," said Rex. "I change Two-Headed King Rex and Crawling Dragon back into attack mode! Let's battle! Foot Stomp Serpent God's Minion, Two-Headed King Rex!"

The two-headed purple abomination raced across the dungeon floor and raised its foot to crush the hooded man-monster, but Great Orange laughed. "My monsters' effect activates!"

Two-Headed King Rex disappeared from the field as though the monster had never been there.

As Weevil gasped, Rex shouted and stamped his foot. "What? What the hell, man? You can't do that!"

"On the contrary. I certainly can. When all three members of the Serpent God family are together, I can banish one face-up monster from the field."

The impact of these words hit Weevil so hard that he slumped backward, nearly touching the dungeon wall with his head. Did any monster card have a more ludicrously overpowered effect? Then again, he himself still liked to use Monster Reborn.

"Grr." Rex's fist trembled. "You might have sent Two-Headed King Rex to the graveyard, but I can still attack with my other monster. Crawling Dragon, destroy Serpent God's Bride!"

"You can't do that," said Jones. "From my hand, I activate Sphere Kuriboh!"

For the second time, Crawling Dragon assumed a defensive stance.

"Huh?" said Rex. "What the—"

Has Rex never seen Sphere Kuriboh before? Well, it is an ultra-rare card, so maybe he hasn't—but we work in a shop that sells Duel Monsters cards, so… When he realized that this situation did not call for criticism of Rex, Weevil brought this train of thought to a halt.

The clawed leader cocked his hand on his hip. "When I send Sphere Kuriboh to the graveyard, your attacking monster is forced into defense mode!"

"Graaahh!" Rex cracked his knuckles. "I feel like I'm getting cock-blocked!"

"Such language," said Pegasus to Weevil.

p"I'm used to it."

Rex was not listening to his lover's conversation. He addressed Great Orange instead. "All right, you old putz. I gotta ask: why are you so angry with us in the first place? What did we do to you? Do you just really wanna feed your snake, 'cause I'm sure there's some nice sheep around here it could eat."

Great Orange huffed. "No, you silly boy. We want to kill you personally because you are responsible for irreparable damage to some of our most sacred property!"

If Weevil's heart could sink any further, it would have. Why on Earth two different groups would be after the same obscure artifact—no, three different groups, since Madame Cutcliffe wanted it for her own organization? More importantly, how would these freaks know about his and Rex's excursion to Hollywood in the first place?

"What?" said Rex. "What're you talking about?"

"You and your companion stole the Wyrm of the Wastelands!"

Rex gasped as Weevil rolled his eyes. How did you not figure that out? Then the insect duelist slapped himself. He had just told himself not to criticize his lover, and there he went again. Lives were at stake. From now on, he would not allow disloyal thoughts about Rex to stay within his mind.

"How do you know we did that?" Rex insisted. "How do you even know what the Wyrm is?"

"We were the Wyrm's original owners. We bonded ourselves to it by blood and promised our souls to what it represented. While we, the ones you see here"—Great Orange swept his arm to one side to gesture toward the cultists lined up against the wall—"wanted to use its power to actualize our supreme purpose, others thought it would be better to take the Wyrm to pursue worldly interests. So a schism erupted between us, and our side reluctantly agreed to let them have the Wyrm, as long as they left our other treasures in peace. Ever since then, we have had to divide our time between gathering victims for our great purpose and plotting to secretly restore the Wyrm to its rightful place in our vault."

That was enough. Weevil could not simply continue to sit down and say nothing. "Why do you have a problem with us? We killed the people who took that awful thing away from you!" Technically, he alone sent the Pink Pangolin to her death, and her right-hand man hurled himself into the lizard pit to die with her; Rex only watched helplessly as his best friend added the proper amount of compound interest to the avenging of his abduction and torture. Still, better to protect Rex than to be a stickler for accuracy.

Growling, Great Orange replied, "I was not finished, you rude upstart. Our plans depending on the Wyrm remaining unmolested. But then you and your miscreant friend destroyed it!" With his free hand, the leader pointed to Rex in accusation.

Well, that explained it. But how did these people know what had happened to the Wyrm?

As if reading Weevil's mind, Rex objected, "Um, excuse me, what told you that we'd destroyed that thing? You couldn't possibly know that!"

"Have you not figured it out, or you are simply that thick? A psychic bond with the Wyrm is permanent for those who let it taste their blood. We felt you shatter its sacred body, and then—nothing. When you stole the Wyrm, we saw your every move, including your destruction of the form that kept it alive. Now you are here, and you must pay!" Great Orange finished his monologue with a hand signal to the cluster of cultists, who applauded him.

Rex groaned. "Just get on with it, old man. I end my turn."
"Gladly." Great Orange drew a card. "Heh heh…I equip Serpent God's Minion with Serpent's Tooth! Now he can pierce your defense-position monster! Attack, Serpent God's Minion!"

The man-like monster in the orange robe ran across the field and bit the bowing Two-Headed King Rex on one of its tiny arms, making the saurian creature shatter.

"Now you lose four hundred life points!" shouted Great Orange.

"I know! I can read the counter on my own Duel Disk, thank you very much!" Rex stood with one hand on his hip.

The cult leader cleared his throat. "Now, Serpent God's Bride doesn't have enough attack power for your Crawling Dragon, so I'll use her daughter's special ability. Serpent God's Daughter, attack his life points directly!"

The reptile girl sprinted across the dungeon floor and kicked Rex's Duel Disk, knocking him backward slightly and making him shout. She returned to the side of her mother and male relative, and Rex stood erect again.

"You're down to sixteen hundred life points, and you haven't so much as scratched mine," said Great Orange with a sneer. "Why don't you just give up and hurl yourself into Sangréana's mouth?"

"I don't give up, old man! Just you wait!"

Sweat trickled down Weevil's forehead. Rex could snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat sometimes, but was this time one of those? For their sake, it had to be. It had to be…

"Let's see if you can impress me…and save your life. I end my turn."

From the distance between the makeshift arena and the cell, Weevil studied Rex's next draw carefully. His friend and lover cracked a toothy smile of the kind Weevil knew well.

"Heh heh, I've been waiting for this! You might have tried to scare me with cards I'd never seen before, but I guarantee you've never seen this card before! I tribute Crawling Dragon Number Two and summon…Raphtontis the Night-Flyer!"

Crawling Dragon disappeared, and in its place materialized an Archaeopteryx. Purple and black feathers covered the prehistoric bird's body, save for its scaly green underside and yellow legs. The proto-bird's eyes glowed golden in the dark.

A collective gasp arose from the cultists.

"What the hell is that?" Great Orange asked.

"Raphtontis is a dinosaur that only I can use. Its special ability lets me summon it by tributing just one dinosaur-type monster from the field or my from my hand! And now, I declare battle. Attack Serpent God's Minion, Raphtontis!"

On its chicken-like legs, Raphtontis ran over to the leader's side of the field and tore Serpent God's Minion with its teeth, shredding the hooded figure apart.

"Boo-yah!" shouted Rex. "How do you like me now, creep?"

Great Orange drew his next card. "I had hoped that this would not be necessary, but it appears I have no choice. In a cruel twist of irony, the card I have drawn is the card I wanted most to play, but I will have to tribute summon by sacrificing these two monsters. It hardly matters, though. Once I summon my ultimate card, I will win this duel, and your life will be forfeit. First, I set this card face down. Now, I tribute Serpent God's Bride and Serpent God's Daughter to summon…Serpent God Avatar!"

Weevil squeezed Pegasus's lower arm. This was the moment to which this duel had been building up. The entomophile braced himself for what he might see, although he knew he could not prepare himself. What monster might appear next? Something similar to Yig? A serpent-man hybrid?

As it turned out, the answer was neither. Great Orange placed a card on his Duel Disk…and nothing materialized on the field. The space before Great Orange remained bare but for the single face-down card.

"What is this? I just tributed two monsters! Serpent God Avatar doesn't have to be summoned by those three monsters' effects! We wrote the card text so that it could be tribute summoned like any other tribute monster if need be! Why hasn't it showed up?"

Growls of rage erupted from Great Orange's throat. As his voice rumbled, his skin began to flake and peel away. Entire strips of flesh tore themselves from his body. Underneath his mammalian coating was an expanse of dark green scales.

This time, Weevil could not hold back his shriek. He should not have worried about the summoning of Serpent God Avatar, whatever it looked like; this was what filled him with horror. Daring himself to keep his eyes open, he saw the cultists along the far wall start to shed their own human skin. Their soft pink flesh burst apart, and the scales underneath glistened in what little light streamed into the dungeon.

Strangely, Rex seemed to ignore this new development. "Are you gonna end your turn or what? This duel can't last forever."

"Argh…yes, I end my turn."

"Good." Rex drew a card and set it on his Duel Disk. "I set a card. Now, Raphtontis, attack his life points directly!"

Raphtontis began a running start toward the leader's side of the field, but Great Orange declared, "I reveal my face-down card: Mirror Wall! My trap activates!"

A reflective wall made of jagged crystal emerged from the card and divided the two sides of the field in half. Raphtontis bit at its own reflection.

"Ha! Your monster has only twelve hundred attack points now!"

"Don't get excited, lizard-man. I end my turn, but just you wait."

Great Orange hissed his laughter as he drew his next card. "Even at the cost of two thousand life points, I keep Mirror Wall on the field. That leaves me with eight hundred life points, but I know what to do. I summon Armored Lizard in attack mode."

On the field appeared a man-sized bipedal blue lizard with a bright green throat, red eyes, and sharp-toothed jaws, poised for battle.

"His monster is weakened, Armored Lizard. Attack!"

The blue lizard creature lunged at Raphtontis.

"Uh-uh, I told you not to get cocky," said Rex. "I activate Enemy Controller!"

Armored Lizard crouched on the floor in a manner resembling Crawling Dragon's, and a spark of pride flared in Weevil's heart. "Rex! You're using strategy for a change!" he called from across the dungeon.

Grumbling, Great Orange said, "I end my turn."

"My turn!" Rex chirped. He drew a card, placed it on his Duel Disk, and announced, "I set a card face down."

"Do you have no more monsters to summon, thief?" asked the leader.

"No. I'm sticking with Raphtontis. He's all I need…this turn. In fact, I'm so confident that I'll win, I'm not even going to attack right away. I end my turn."

What? Rex had been dueling so well up to now. How could he risk his, Weevil's, and Pegasus's lives just to prove a stupid point?

"You can't be serious! You don't know what he has up his sleeve!" shouted Weevil.

"I know what I'm doing!" Rex shouted back.

"Enough chatter," said the leader. He drew a card. "First, I send Mirror Wall to the graveyard."

The wall of reflective crystal vanished.

"I now summon Oshaleon in defense mode."

A chameleon with scales that faded from yellow to green to blue and finally to purple appeared on the field. White stars decorated the reptile's back.

"There is nothing else I can do for now. I end my turn."

Rex drew a card. "Nyeh heh heh…I like this card. But I won't play it just yet. I won't have Raphtontis attack, either. I'm ending my turn."

For the second time, Weevil wanted to beat his head against the bars of the cell. What was Rex playing at? He liked to crush his opponents' life points into dust as quickly as possible!

Now Great Orange drew a card. A grin crept across his reptilian face.

"You will regret your decision not to attack—just before you die beneath Sangréana's fangs. The card I just drew will soon turn the tables. I tribute Oshaleon and Armored Lizard to summon Red-Eyes Black Dragon!"

And there, on Mister Jones's side of the field, the two inferior reptiles disappeared, and it manifested: the spiky black dragon with gleaming red eyes. The marvelous black beast proclaimed its majesty with a roar.

Weevil gasped, and so did Rex.

"Red-Eyes! It's my old pal! What're you doing with these creeps, buddy?"

Mister Jones scoffed. "'Buddy'? You are pathetic. Why do you care about monsters from a card game at your age?"

Black flames ignited in Weevil's heart.

"How dare you!" he heard himself say. He began to rise to his feet, but Pegasus gave him a light touch on the shoulder, reminding him to sit back down.

The older gentleman asked, "Excuse me, but is there something wrong with an adult enjoying card games?"

"Yeah, what they said!" Rex said with a nod. "You're playin' Duel Monsters, too, unless my eyes're deceivin' me. How can you even ask that?"

"We use this card game because we want power. Our Serpent God favors us above all others. When we spread his image all over this stinking planet through the means of this game, he is certain to be summoned in the flesh, and then he will reward us with an honored place at his side while we enslave the rest of the human race. Face it, card games are only good for two things: power and money. They sway the minds of those who play them, and they reap profits for those who manufacture and sell them. As long as there are plenty of losers and suckers like you in the world, men like Pegasus will always be rich and powerful."

"I beg your pardon!" said Pegasus.

The cultists along the far wall laughed in unison, and Great Orange cracked a smile.

"Red-Eyes Black Dragon is a fearsome reptile, a worthy ally and formidable foe," the leader continued. "But do I call it my friend? No. It is a tool for the use of our group's supreme purpose. Both my dragon and your dinosaur have the same attack points, so I will refrain from declaring battle now. I end my turn. On my next turn, however, you can expect defeat and death."

"We'll see about that! You won't get away with abusing Red-Eyes! I won't let you!" He drew a card, and a high-pitched cry arose from his mouth.

"This is it!" he shouted. "This card will mean your doom!" He slapped the card down on his Duel Disk. "I activate the spell card Change of Heart!"

Weevil's eyes widened.

"For one turn, I can take control of my opponent's monster. And even if you had other monsters on the field, I would still choose the one I'm choosing now: Red-Eyes Black Dragon! Red-Eyes, come to Papa!"

The black dragon strode across the field and stood in front of Rex, who trembled as he spoke.

"Now, Red-Eyes Black Dragon! Attack his life points directly! Inferno! bFire/b! BBLAST/b!"

Red-Eyes belched a stream of fireballs, which exploded against Great Orange. The leader screamed as the holographic flames struck his body and Duel Disk.

When the smoke cleared, Great Orange stood there shaking, his life points depleted entirely.

"Well. You have won. I did not expect it. You may go. Jones, go set the other prisoners free."

With relief cresting in his chest, Weevil watched Mister Jones approach the cell that held him and Pegasus. The leader's closest subordinate swung a ring of keys in one hand as he walked. He selected one key from the iron ring and nearly touched it to the cell door's keyhole.

Then he pulled back.

"Excuse me, but Raptor boy won that duel fairly," said Pegasus. "You must honor your word by setting us all free."

"Oh, I'm unlocking the cell," said Jones. He stuck the key in the hole and twisted, opening the door with a cracking noise.

Weevil sprang to his feet. "Finally!" He moved to exit through the open door.

Jones snickered. His gaze traveled to the giant snake that remained curled up in her nest. "You must be hungry, Sangréana. We know we haven't fed you as often as we should. Start with the interlopers!"

Icicles stabbed Weevil's mind. The duel was a farce. This cult was going to actualize their plan no matter what.

As tears began to leak from Weevil's eyes, Jones continued to goad the snake. "Come on, girl. Eat the captives in this cell, move on to the little cretin you see standing over there, and then you can have your lamb. Come on. Come on." He tapped on the cell bars, as if trying to get Sangréana's attention. "What are you, stupid? We've had some dumb pets before, but you must be the dumbest!"

In the next moment, Weevil saw something for which he knew he should have tried to prepare himself. Seeing a hologram of a giant snake monster in a duel was one matter. Seeing humans turn into reptiles before his eyes was another. But seeing this was a third matter yet.

Hissing, Sangréana reared herself up, opening her mouth. She slid out of her nest, bypassed Pegasus and Weevil, and pushed the cell door open with her head. The snake slithered up to Jones, who turned to face her.

Shaking, he stuck a hand out just above her lowered head. "Uh…I didn't mean it when I called you stupid. You're still a good, obedient girl, ain't you?"

Sangréana distended her jaw and swallowed Jones feet first. His screams reverberated through the dungeon as more and more of his body disappeared into the serpent's mouth.

Weevil tried to tear his gaze away from the sight in front of him, but his eyes remained fixed to the spot.

His eyes stayed where they were as Sangréana slithered throughout the dungeon and swallowed every half-human, half-reptile cultist one by one. Their shrieks evidently meant nothing to their "pet," which pursued them down the hallway through which they must have entered the dungeon originally. Finally, the only scream in the room came from Rex, who stood there trembling from fear rather than excitement.

Sangréana crawled up to him. Instead of opening her mouth to swallow him, she bowed her head.

Rex stopped shaking. "What are you doing, snakey?"

"Snakes can't talk," said Weevil, who, like Pegasus, stayed inside the cell.

"This one's talking to me. She says, 'Thank you for saving me. Now I have to go. Goodbye.'"

The giant snake slithered back to the other end of the room and through the hallway. Her hissing carried for the next few minutes until the sound dissipated.

Pegasus stood up and stretched his muscles. "Ah, that was tiring. Come along, boys. Let's follow the way Sangréana went and leave this dreadful place."

"Good idea, Mister Pegasus," said Weevil, who wished he could think of something more intelligent to add. Then he saw something that gave him that opportunity. "Hey, look over there!"

"What's that, Weeves?"

The shape of a Duel Disk stood out in the darkness. "He dropped his Duel Disk."

The three men walked over to the object, and Rex bent down and removed the cards and the remainder of the deck from their slots.

"Mister Pegasus," Rex began, "I'm gonna steal some of this guy's cards. That's okay with you, right?"

"Throw away those Serpent God cards. Otherwise, help yourself."

Rex looked through the cards in his hand. "Let's see. I want that Serpent's Tooth equip spell. And here it is!" He read the card text out loud: "'A reptile-, dinosaur-, or sea serpent-type monster equipped with this card gains the ability to inflict piercing battle damage on an enemy monster.' Excellent!"

He stuffed the card in his pocket and continued to look through the deck. "Hmm…Sphere Kuriboh's hard to come by. I'm taking that. I could use another Mirror Wall, too. But here's the big one!"

Rex plucked the Red-Eyes Black Dragon card from the deck and waved the card in his companions' faces.

"After all these years, he's come back to me! Oh, Red-Eyes, we've got catching up to do!"

As Rex kissed his long-lost favorite card, Weevil flashed back to his recent dreams, and his heart began to warm itself.