"I know what you're going to say." Tess said, laying in my arms, running her fingernails through my chest hair.

"I seriously doubt that." I smirked.

"I know it was wrong not to tell you. I will understand if you don't want to see me again." She said softly. I placed my hand on hers, to stop her fiddling.

"If it was that easy, I wouldn't have asked you to come here." I said. "I just don't understand why you never told me."

"It's a tough situation. Things aren't always black and white." She said.

"Tess, I think I'm sharp enough to keep up." She sat up and pulled the sheet around her, pulling her knees up to her chest. After a deep breath she started talking.

"I was in a very bad relationship while in college. Physically and mentally abusive. Matt was there, and eventually helped me get out of it. My dad was extremely grateful for that. He became really close with Matt, and after time, we started dating. I felt I owed Matt a lot, so when he asked me to marry him, I agreed." She said. "Things haven't been good between us for a long time." She said, absent-mindedly rubbing her upper arm, drawing my attention to a fading bruise that looked a lot like a hand print.

"Tess, did he?" I asked letting my fingers fall on the bruise.
"Why?"

"He knows how I feel about him. He knows that I don't love him. He's known that for a while now. But since I've been seeing you, he's realized that there's something else going on. He doesn't know what, but he knows there's something."

"You should just stop seeing me. If that will make him not hurt you." I said, even though thinking about not seeing her again made my whole body hurt.

"It's not that simple, Phil." She said, reaching for my t-shirt, and pulling it on. She got up and walked over to the window.

"Tess, it's not like I don't want to see you again. I just can't stand the fact of knowing that you get hurt because of me."

"It wouldn't matter. He knows I've distanced myself from him. If it was as simple as turning my feelings off for you, things with Matt and I still won't be good." She turned back to me.
"And you, you give me something to look forward too. Something to smile about."

"I can't do this anymore, Tess." I said, walking over to her.
"I don't want to share you with anyone, I can't. I want you to myself. All of you." She smiled at me.

"It's not like I haven't tried to leave him before. But then things come up. And he threatens me."

"I won't let him hurt you anymore." I said.

"Not just physical. He knows things about me. Things no one else knows. If I leave him, he'll use it against me. He'll tell dad everything. And right now, I don't know how much his heart can take." She said, finally looking me in the eyes. "It scares me."

"What can he possibly know about you that's so bad?" I asked. She turned over her wrists. How could I have not seen the scars before? I had spent hours studying her body. But these I had never seen.
"Oh, Tess."

"These are old. A few years. But it's not the only time." She said, taking a deep breath. "Sometimes I have a problem with drugs. I've overdosed three times."

"Drugs?" I couldn't think straight. I had dealt with this stuff before in my life, I knew the signs, but she had none. Was I so blinded by my feelings that I couldn't see what was staring me in the face?
"Why?"

"My life has been anything but easy." She said, pulling her hands from mine, turning away from me.

"No one's life is easy, Sweetheart."

"It started five years ago. I had two miscarriages with in months of each other. Matt and I had just been married. I didn't want to face each day. That's the first time I tried to take my life." She said, her pain reflecting in her voice. "After that, Matt moved me closer to Dad. Trying to make me smile again. So I had to find a new way to take away my pain. After a third miscarriage, I became depressed, couldn't sleep. The doctor prescribed me some medicine, and after a month of still feeling the same way, I started saving my pills, then took them all at once."

"Why isn't your family helping you?" I asked.

"He finds a way to keep it from them. Five times, and he has always kept it from them." She said. "He holds it over my head. Every time I have tried to leave him, he threatens to tell my dad. Phil, knowing this would kill him."

"If things are so bad, why would you want a baby with him?" I asked, trying to understand.

"At first, I thought that having a baby would fill the hole between Matt and I. Then after the first miscarriage, I needed to fill the hole in me. I needed someone who would love me no matter what." Tess said. "I know now, that was wrong. I know that having a baby wouldn't make things right, wouldn't make things better. After the third miscarriage, I went on birth control. I poured myself into my career. Matt and I grew apart, and I became happy again."

"So, that counts for the three times, what brought on the other two?" I asked, and as she turned away, I knew I wasn't going to like her answer.

"When I came home from a business trip, I had been gone for almost a month. Matt and I had been separated. Not legally, not even living apart, but it had been almost a year since I had slept with him. When I got home, he was drunk. He was mad. That was the first time he beat me. Matt, he said he had needs. Needs that I had to take care of. I was his wife, and if I wouldn't take care of his needs willingly, he would force me. And he did." She took a deep breath.
"I was so beat up, that I had to tell work I was in a car accident."

It took a minute for her words to process in my brain. I wanted to comfort her. Take her in my arms. I reached out and let my hand fall on her shoulder.
"Tess..." But she pulled away.

"That wasn't the only time. It happened a lot. I couldn't take it anymore, all the feelings built up, it became overwhelming. So I over dosed again." She paused for a second. "The last time was two weeks ago. He was questioning me about cheating on him, it happened again. I was lost, alone. I had the razor in my hand, the pills in front of me."

"No, Tess."

She turned to me, looking me in the eyes.
"You wouldn't talk to me. I didn't know what to do. But then he walked into the bathroom, he grabbed my arm squeezing it until I dropped the blade." Her hand went back to the fading bruise. "That's where this came from. The other bruises fade easily. But this one, the force he used..."

"Tess, he rapes you. You have to leave him." I said, closing the distance between us. I gently put my hands on her upper arms.

"I can't. I don't want to deal with the backlash that will come from my family knowing. I don't want them to see me different. To look at me like I'm broken."

"If they know, they will see how strong you are to leave him." I said.
"You deserve better. You deserve love." She hung her head.
"Tess, look at me." I said, she lifted her eyes to mine.
"I want you to leave him. I want you to be with me. I love you Tessa." I pulled her into my arms, kissing her.