Haruno Ms. Robinson's Fourth Grade Gatorade Sakura was in her hotel room which she had gotten to pay for herself because she was not going to stay in the one that the game show provided. She saw what the hotel looked like and it looked like a room that Mr. Snipes went to take his Chinese carry out and eat while his wife believed that he was on a diet. Unfortunately, she saw the kredit kard charges and she ended up divorcing him because she realized that he didn't care about the turnip greens she made for that one time that he had eaten the burnt brownies that one girl at school made because she feared that if she didn't make the brownies, she would have to write an essay on something weird like marriage rights in Somalia. Sakura looked outside and looked at the buildings which defined the skyline of Los Angeles. Now she was in the place where all the gangster hip hop she listened to would make sense.
Sasuke was going to a nearby store to collect groceries for them to have, such as milk for the stuff, so he was going to be back in about 45 minutes.
She took out her phone and dialed a nearby pretzel store. "Hello? Is this Martha Brown's Organic Pretzel Stick Shop?" she asked as soon as she heard someone breathing like they had to take a monumental shit but they needed to take some stool softener first because they had eaten too many bagel bites from the Food Lion on sample day so that the store could limit the excessive food they got because of a misplacement of a comma on the money they were going to spend on shipments.
"Yeah, what do you want, miss?" asked the woman as she picked her nose loudly. It sounded like a squirrel running through a pile of crunchy maple leaves that had fallen to the ground because of the change in seasons.
"Damn, that's kinda rude," Sakura said. "Anyways, I want something that makes me feel sexy when I shit these out later. What do you suggest?"
"I recommend the Nacho Pretzels," said the woman as she coughed into the phone. Sakura belched into the phone as a response and they both started laughing at their antics. "It is a pretzel that inside of the dough contains tomatoes, peppers, cheese, and ground beef."
Sakura's mouth began to water as if she were in Sweden and someone opened the last bottle of water when it was 70 F outside. Not that that was hot by any means since she lived in Dallas, which was practically an inferno in the summer.
"Do you have any dessert pretzels?"
"We got the elastic heart pretzels to commemorate the Hunger Games; they are covered with powdered sugar, strawberry syrup, and melted cream cheese."
"Bitch, send a nigga over here so I can get my food!" demanded Sakura. "Please. Grilled cheese shoes sounding woman."
"Yeah, whatever the fuck you say, bitch who sounds like she uses a thimble to turn the pages of her Us Weekly magazine!"
Sakura laughed so hard at this statement that she felt as if she was going to collect her tax refund in a huge ziploc bag and smack this person across the face for sounding like someone who had never even used Listerine as a form of shampoo. Even though that made as much sense as using a pack of oatmeal with dinosaur eggs in it as a weapon against penguin Nazi's wearing speedos.
Fifteen minutes went by and Sakura heard a knock at her door. Sure enough, it was someone who had her cherished pretzels that she was desiring more so than Ino for a hairbrush that got her more attention from the guy who was always in detention: Deidara. She opened the door and said, "How much?"
"$8.23," said the guy as he held out his hand. Sakura handed him a 10 dollar bill and slammed the door after she took the pretzels. She turned on the TV and saw that Balto was playing and she immediately switched it to Flavor of Love on a channel which aired vintage TV shows. She laughed and took a bite of her pretzel as she watched as the women on their acted like their g-strings were pressing against their ovaries too hard.
SOon, the phone called. It was Sasuke so of course she answered it. As soon as she hit open, there was a loud farting sound that was so loud she could smell it from Dallas.
"That's for you, babe," said Sasuke. "I'm wearing that black thong you got me and I knew that wearing it amplified the sound of my farts."
"Hiii, turtle nuts McGee," giggled Sakura. "I love hearing you fart like on the Sims Bustin' Out when they do 'pull my finger'. So what's up?"
"I was just wandering how things were going. This grocery store is so pimping and I'm checking out. Did you wanna get take out?"
Sakura felt a bit guilty about eating the pretzels at the moment, so she said, "Yeah, go to Papa Johns and get us something like the Deluxe. I'll pay you back when we're done," she promised as she giggled and hung up.
In about twenty five minutes, Sasuke returned and they ate their pizza. Tomorrow was the big day.
