And just like that I'm back for another update. Huge thank you to those of you that take the time to review! I even came to the library today so that I can add this purdy a/n here.

VMarsLover- Can't promise it will stick just yet, but hang in there...I'm definitely not a 'sad ending' type of writer.

AnnaW14- Thanks for the encouragement! Yes, it does suck that people don't share their opinions, especially when you have huge views/visits and then don't get any response. It's like grrr...come on people, I actually want to know who is reading my stuff, lol. And yes, I am loving taking Clary out of that ever so typical 'innocent girl' and writing her this way. Glad you're enjoying it!

StillLostInAFairytale- You my dear, where would I be without you. LoL. So glad my update put a smile on your face. You always have the best reviews, letting me know exactly what you're thinking about when reading the story. As for your thoughts- on Jace, if you re-read Ch. 1 you'll see that he's not homeless...he does live with the Lightwoods, but that he tries to steer clear of being around them as much as possible because he hates that he feels like he needs to live up to their expectations, and fails. And yes, this Jace is a puzzle. It's meant to be that way. You'll start getting more and more little glimpses into Jace which will hopefully start pulling all of that together for you and you'll be able to understand him a little more. As for Clary, yes...she is one big contradiction isn't she? In the early stages, it's something I love about her, maybe with time though, Jace will change some of that...ya know, if she keeps him around ;)

Warning: There is sexy time in this chapter. If you don't wish to read what is probably a horribly written lemon, then skip down to after the line break!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Literally...if you sue me, you won't get very far. Although I'd probably be willing to hand over the pregnant stray cat that won't leave my back porch.


I was jolted awake by a pain in my ribs. When I blinked my eyes open to take in my surroundings it only took a second to remember that I was in bed with Clary when I looked down to find her thrashing in my arms, mumbling and whimpering as if she was hurt. Quickly, I sat up and rolled her over so that she was on her back as I pushed back the hair that was plastered to her forehead with sweat. My touches, and movements were doing nothing to stir her out of it. From my personal experience filled with all too real nightmares I knew that I had a fifty-fifty chance of making things better or worse by waking her. For me, I was grateful to anyone who could pull me out of it, and I had to hope that it would be the same for her.

Gently, I laid my hands on the slide of her face turning it towards me and caressing her cheeks lightly with my thumbs.

"Clary, wake up, you're okay...whatever it is you're safe, you can wake up."

She stilled, the thrashing coming to a stop and then the tears started streaming from her eyes which were tightly clenched shut, the nonsense that she kept mumbling before finally becoming understandable.

"No, please, you can't leave me. Don't leave, I'm sorry I promise I'll be better."

The words broke my heart. How could she ever think that anything she could ever do would make anyone leave her? I leaned forward, placing a kiss on her forehead before leaning close to her ear and whispering to her. "Clary baby, please wake up, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

And it's the truth. I know it's insane because I just met this girl, but there's something there between us that I can't even begin to explain. Maybe it's because in her I see the same brokenness I see in myself, or maybe it's because every time I'm near her, I feel like I'm home. If she'd have me, I'd never leave her side.

Her eyes flutter open and go wide when she takes me in. Worried that I've scared her in some way I pull my hands back from her face, but she quickly grabs them, holding them in place.

"Jace..." she whispers, her voice cracking with emotion.

"Yeah, it's me" I say, giving her a reassuring smile, wiping the tears away that are still trickling down her cheeks.

"Don't...please don't let me go" she begs. Her eyes are pleading with me but before I can even respond she pulls my face down and pushes her lips to mine. The kiss starts out slow and I can tell we're both putting every bit of emotion we're feeling into it. Her, the desperation and fear that seem to run so deep in her and me, trying to convey a promise to her that I can be here when she needs me.

When we finally pull back to catch our breath I notice her tears have stopped and she's smiling while she runs her fingers through my hair. It's that look on her face, of being completely at peace that spurs me into action. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know that I should be completely weirded out by the fact that she's already had sex tonight...with my best friend of all people, but I just can't find it in me to care. This is as close to happy as I've seen her, and I want to make it last. My lips are back on hers and it's slow and determined, our tongues not battling, but dancing with each other as my hands find their way to her hips. Slowly, I drag her panties down off of her legs as I draw her up so that she's sitting in front of me. She breaks away just long enough to pull off her shirt before her lips are back on mine and her hands are flitting over every inch of my body, almost as if she's trying to memorize every dip and curve of the scars she finds there. I've never been particularly self conscious of them but I've never let anyone else touch them like this. Every time her fingers brush across one, it feels as though her touch can melt them away.

I kiss my way up her jaw to her neck and down her chest where I lick and suck one of her buds into my mouth, the little moans coming from her drive me on as I finally slip my fingers between her folds, flicking my fingers lightly over her clit before plunging two of them inside her. She's so, so wet, and the sounds she's making...the gasps, the moans are making it incredibly difficult for me to remain in control. I can feel her gentle but firm touch stroking me and every rational thought leaves my mind. The only thing I want is be be buried deep inside her, and she must feel the same, because before I can even process how it's happened, she's got me on my back, straddling my hips...my boxers are gone, I'm not sure if I removed them or if she did. She slides herself down, pulling every inch of me into her. The feeling makes me shudder, there's something about this that feels so different, so much more intense. She's rocking up and down on me, so slowly, my hips rising up to meet her.

I run my fingers through her hair and bring her lips down to mine for a brief kiss.

"Damn, Clary you feel so, so good"

She smiles at me, stroking her hand across my cheek. "Shhhh" she whispers before relaxing herself so that she's laying down on my chest. Neither of us are rushing any of it, just enjoying being as closely connected as two people can possibly be. I'm running my hands up and down her back slowly, tracing small circles over her spine and it suddenly occurs to me what's happening. We're not fucking, we're not even having sex...no, this is what all of those cheesy romantic movies that I laugh at describe as making love. I'm not saying that I'm in love with the girl, I don't know, maybe I am...if it's possible to fall in love that fast. All I know is that what we're doing now, I can't imagine doing with anyone else...ever.

I don't even know how long we're like that...it could have been minutes, or hours, when I feel her walls starting to clench around me and she's moving faster.

"Jace" she pants, "I need...I need" she can't seem to get the words out but I take the hint and flip her so that she's on her back under me. Our fingers, locked together by her head as she adjusts her legs up higher on my hips as I'm thrusting into her harder, and faster than before. I can feel myself getting close, but looking into her eyes, I can see that while she's close...she's holding back. I lean down and place a kiss just behind her ear before whispering to her "let it go baby, just let it go". With my words, she does, gripping my hands tighter, her eyes flutter shut, my name just a whisper on her lips as they find mine. I thrust into her just a few more times before finding my release, resting my forehead against hers and staring into her endlessly green eyes.

I don't want to pull away from her at all, I'm terrified that when I do the spell will be broken, and we'll be right back to her pushing me away. I know that I'm supposed to be this completely hardened person, and I have been for so damn long, but I don't think I could handle it if she once again said that this can't ever happen again. When I finally do roll off of her, she keeps one hand locked in mine, while she stares at the ceiling looking deep in thought while she plays with the chain around her neck.

Eventually when the silence becomes too much I turn over to face her, placing my hand over hers to still the nervous movement. I pull the necklace from her fingers and look at what she has hanging on it. It's a ring with an H on it, strikingly similar to the one that I have with an M on it.

"Where did you get this?"

"What, the ring? It was in a jewelry box my mom had that had my name engraved on it. When I went poking through it I found this and thought it was kind of pretty, very antique."

"Hmmm"

"Why?"

"Because, I have one just like it, but with an M on it, not an H"

"Really" she smiles "guess we have the same taste in some things."

With that she rolls over towards me and cuddles against my chest, stopping me from saying anything further. She's probably right, I got mine from my mom, she got hers from her mom, they probably just had the same taste in things and happened to own similar rings. Though I still can't help but feel like there's more to it than that.


I can't even begin to explain my feelings when I woke up in Jace's arms, our legs tangled together. It felt as though we had been doing it every day for years. I felt like I belonged, like I was safe, and loved more than I think I've ever felt before. And I know what I said, that I wouldn't let him in, but now I just don't want to let him go. It's selfish, because I know I'm just going to hurt him in the long run but right now I just...I don't even want to think about it.

As I'm getting dressed for my shift at Takis, thankfully not a big production since the uniform is casual and is just a pair of jeans and a light blue t-shirt with Taki's Diner printed on the back, I can't stop sneaking glances of him still sleeping in my bed. He looks perfect there, so peaceful, and I'm dreading having him wake up and leave. It's taking all of my self control to not take my clothes right back off and crawl under the covers with him. If I had any walls still up protecting myself from letting him in, I'm pretty sure that last night completely stripped them away. I can't even think about it without blushing...it was...beautiful. Epically stupid in that we didn't use protection, but I'm just going to hope that statistics are on our side and that it won't be an issue...and make sure that it never happens again.

That is if he still wants me. It's not like going at it immediately after him waking me from a nightmare gave us a lot of time to discuss things. For all I know he just did it to help distract me from whatever it was that had me so upset. Which, despite spending 30 minutes in the shower trying to remember, none of the nightmare is coming back to me, an oddity in itself since most of the time they're so vivid that they stick with me for days.

I know there's still the issue of what happened at the club, and I'm not really sure what to think of it. From what I gather though, I had sex with a close friend of his...then I came home and had sex with him. By the angel, I really am fucked up. I know that there's a good chance that when he wakes up and remembers everything that happened last night, that he's going to get dressed and walk out of here for good and I've got no one to blame but myself. I turn back to the mirror over my desk and close my eyes taking a deep breath. It's finally hitting me just how stupid I've been. I've spent the last couple of years giving away bits and pieces of myself for nothing every chance I had. Now that there's someone I might actually want to give myself to completely I don't know that there's really anything left for him, at least not enough. Because this guy, who seems to over the course of just two nights reached within me and latched on to my soul, deserves so much more than I can give him.

Shaking my head as I feel the tears start to well up behind my closed lids, I know that the best thing I can do for him, and for myself is to let him go. There's no way this could ever work, no matter how much I want it to right now. Suddenly I feel him behind me and he's wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck. I place my hands over his, ready to pull myself out of his embrace. It's too much, having him this close for what I need to say, I'm even keeping my eyes closed knowing one look into his and I might lose all the resolve I have to end this right here and now.

He must sense the tension in my body because just as I'm about to push him away he tightens his grip around my waist, shaking his head in the crook of my neck. His warm breath against my skin nearly has me falling apart when he speaks. "Don't Clary, don't push me away again, please"

The pleading tone of his voice nearly breaks my heart, what's left of it anyway. I turn in his arms to face him and open my eyes as I put my hands on his face, brushing my thumb over his cheek urging him to look at me. The sadness and desperation that I find there startles me and I realize in that moment that he and I might be more alike than I could have ever imagined. It's that realization that keeps me from telling him to go. I open my mouth to speak, but before I can even get any words out he brings up a finger and places it over my lips silencing me.

"Clary, listen to me, I know this is absolutely fucking crazy. We just met, and I don't do this...I don't get attached. I spend a night with a girl and send them on their way only going back if there's nothing else that catches my attention. My guess is you're the same. But this, this is different and I...I don't want to lose you. I get it, if you don't want a relationship, but I need you in my life even if it is just as a friend"

His words make me smile. We really are practically the same person. Sure, he doesn't know my reasons and I don't know his. I don't know if we'll ever divulge that part of ourselves, but it all ends up the same way...seeking out random people that mean nothing to us. And yet, here we stand in front of each other, not wanting to let the other go.

"You're right, I am that way. I tried to do that with you." I say, taking a deep breath to prepare myself for what I'm about to tell him.

"But I can't. And I don't want to be friends with you" he opens his mouth to object but I quickly cover his mouth with my hand.

"Nuh uh...you got to speak without me saying anything...now it's my turn" He nods his head for me to continue. "What I was trying to say is that I don't want to be friends with you...I'm not entirely sure I want a relationship, I don't know how to do those, I've never been in one...but I do want to be with you as more than friends." I can feel his smile against my fingers and I move my hand.

"So, you kinda wanna be my girlfriend, but not really?" he asks, shrugging and quirking a brow at me.

"I don't know" I say, shrugging my shoulders "I guess so. I mean, I want to be with you and NOT have sex with anyone else...if that makes me your girlfriend then yeah, I guess I do."

"Great, because I don't want to have sex with any other girls, and I guess that makes me your boyfriend. So my girlfriend, how long until you have to be at work?" he says with a smirk as he lifts me off the floor and sets me on the dresser, attacking my neck with kisses, licking and nipping his way up to my ear. I just barely have the chance to glance at the clock and realize what time it is, I'm already five minutes late.

"Shit!" I yell, pushing him back and hopping off the dresser "I'm late! Maia's gonna fucking kill me". I'm hopping around on one foot, trying to pull my sneaker on the other, while tossing stuff into my bag. I look over at him and see him scrambling to put his clothes back on. I feel bad that I've got to leave and that he's being rushed and decide that I'm going to take the first step in being a girlfriend.

"Jace, don't rush yourself. Here..." I toss him my keys, which he catches and then looks back at me in confusion "stay and make yourself some breakfast and lock up when you leave. I take my break at one if you're free and want to join me, or you can just drop them off."

Finally upright and tossing my still wet hair into a bun, he walks over to me and pulls me into his arms. What the hell, I'm already late, what's another two minutes.

He smiles, cupping my face in his hands, and places a kiss on my lips. It's sweet, and quick, and as much as I want more than that for now it's just going to have to be enough.

"Yes, I'm free and yes, I'll be there at one...now, get your ass to work" he laughs, as I turn around and he smacks me on the ass as I'm walking out the door. I can't break the smile that's on my face as I'm headed down the stairs. I can't help but think that yeah, I could get used to this girlfriend stuff.


Whew, okay, so that chapter ended up longer than I thought it would. If this chapter kind of sucks, my apologies. Writing that sex scene for them kind of screwed with my head because I wanted it to be from Jace's POV, but while I was writing I kept having Clary's POV wanting to come out instead. I've read over it a few times and I think I made sure that didn't happen.

As for the fact that the morning after her thoughts are a little jumbled and disjointed, it's supposed to be that way. Let's face it, the poor girl is just downright confused. She knows what she should want, doesn't think she deserves it, doesn't want to lose him, but wants to push him away to protect him, and herself. And yes, I know, the chapter ended on a happy note. So, you have one nice chapter of Clace fluff.

So, I want to know what you think. Is this it for Clary, has she finally turned that corner and ready to let herself be loved? Or, do you think that she's going to end up falling off this happy wagon she's on at the end of this chapter?

Oh, and if the ring thing was confusing, I promise, it will make sense eventually.

Follow, favorite, review...show me some love, people! Keep me writing!