Ninianne lept as the tom cat on Merlin's lap suddenly let out a yowl and streaked out the cave door, outside there was a flurry of wings and a screeching. Merlin turned his eyes and shouted after it, " Hey! Hey! You leave that owl alone you fool of a cat! That old bird's been here longer then both of us and he'll scratch your eyes out to prove it!" he looked to Ninianne, "Now where was I?" But Ninianne stopped him.
"Were you ever afraid? You must have known something while you were recovering."
" At my worst, I felt nothing. But as I healed, there was a lot of pain and frustration. There is only one time I remember being truly afraid. But I was getting to that before the great hunter interrupted us." Ninianne settled down and Merlin began his tale again.
When a week had gone by, Arthur could no longer stand being idle. He rallied his best knights and prepared to ride out after the man that had harmed his friend. Gwenivere had other plans however.
"Arthur!"
Arthur knew when he heard that voice coming across the court yard that he was in trouble. He put down his helmet and sagged. "Lance, will you and Gawain get the knights in formation. We'll be riding out soon."
Gwenivere took his arm. "Riding out? To do what? Arthur, if you're serious about going after this man you should wait…"
" Wait? Wait for what? Wait for him to come to the gate of Camelot its self? Gwen, I'm done waiting."
" Don't be hasty Arthur, it was your father's down fall. You must think before you act!"
Arthur closed his eyes in frustration, " You sound like Merlin..second guessing me."
"Lord knows someone has to! Arthur, you don't even know this man's name! What will you do? Search by intuition?"
Arthur paused, he had not thought of that. He had simply assumed such a man would brag of his deeds or perhaps someone had seen him. It had not occurred to him this man might be smart…to defeat Merlin so soundly he would have had to be. Merlin might not have been strong, but he was smart and had a knack for getting out of trouble fast. He turned to Gwen. "Maybe you're right."
Gwenivere made a mistake then. She spoke her mind before evaluating the content.
"Besides, to do what he did to Merlin he had to have been a powerful Wizard."
" What?"
Arthur's brow crinkled, " What makes you think we're dealing with sorcery? Merlin, God love him is many things. But physically strong is not one of them, any one of decent build could have done this."
Gwenivere bit her lip. She had long ago guessed at Merlin's secret but had vowed to herself never to speak of it to anyone. She thought quickly. " I..I only was guessing that something very strong must have prevented Merlin from defending himself. It's not like Merlin just to lie down and take a beating..he's smart, he's quick, someone must have done something."
Arthur's face was hard. " You're right Gwen, I never would have thought it." He sighed, " This makes it twice as difficult. A violent man may be strong, but a wizard is crafty and put the two together." His face went blank, then he seemed to shake himself. " But that's ridiculous, there are other ways to disable a man then magic. Gwen, I understand your worries but this isn't my first quest. Gwenivere bowed her head, " If I can't stop you, then promise me this. Be careful?" Arthur took her hand and put it to his lips. " Always." Then he turned his horse, but Gwenivere spoke his name and he halted.
" His eyes…look to his eyes. The man you seek has mismatched eyes, one blue the other brown. Merlin spoke of it in his sleep, Ewain told me."
Arthur nodded, "Thank you, Gwen." Then he rode off.
That evening, Gwenivere took watch for Ewain who was exhausted from his constant vigil. By the glow of the small fire she watched Merlin anxiously, alert for any sign of his waking . There were none. At one point Merlin was shivering so violently Gwenivere wrapped her fur wrap around him to comfort him. She smoothed his hair with her hand and smiled sadly. "Just like old times, isn't it Merlin. You're still getting into trouble after all these years." Merlin lay silent, Gwenivere continued. " I wish there was something I could do..some words I can say…I wish, I wish I was a wizard. A wizard..like you." She paused, then she leant close. " I know your secret, I've known it for a while and it's safe with me. But, I'm asking you Merlin..I'm asking you to use whatever power is inside you and come back to us. Please." When there was no change Gwenivere returned to her seat sadly.
Sometime later, Ewain returned. Gwenivere turned to him and he spoke. " Is it true Arthur has gone out to look for Merlin's attacker?"
Gwenivere nodded, " I'm afraid so, he would not listen to me." Ewain looked grave, he went over to Merlin and changed the compress on his head. " Arthur listens to no one." He looked at Merlin then and sighed, " Well, none but one." He turned away but suddenly Merlin gave a gasp and weakly he spoke. " Arthur…"
Ewain and Gwenivere nearly collided going to his side. Gwenivere reached him first. "Merlin, can you hear me?"
Merlin's eyes opened and he stared glassily at them, still half in his fever. "Where is Arthur?"
Gwenivere looked to Ewain and he spoke. " Lie still Merlin, you're still very ill."
" Answer me, where is Arthur?" he turned to Gwenivere, " Gwen..please."
Gwenivere hushed him gently, " Arthur's safe, Merlin. You'll see him soon."
"Don't lie to me." Merlin's voice was hard as he pulled himself up right. "He's gone after him hasn't he, the man that attacked me."
Ewain spoke quietly, " Merlin, you must calm down. It's dangerous for you to.."
"Has he gone after him?"
Gwenivere nodded solemnly. Merlin's breathing became rapid and he struggled to rise from the bed. Ewain held him back gently, but he struggled on. " No..I have to go after him…" Gwenivere took his hands in her own. "Merlin, listen to me…you can't go after him, not this time. You're too ill."
" No, I have to go..you don't understand..I have to..he.."
Merlin fell back into Ewain's arms and he gently layed him back, but Merlin continued to struggle despite Gwenivere and Ewains efforts to keep him quiet. " Let me go.." he said pitifully, " Gwenivere..please..tell him…he doesn't understand."
"Be still." Said Gwenivere gently.
"No..Arthur…Arthur!"
Merlin writhed in the grasp of his friends, calling Arthur's name over and over again. Suddenly the light of the room was blotted out as Ewain swept the wide curtain that separated the bed from the rest of the room closed. The effect produced a cocoon of dusky light and muffled sound that made those within go still. Even Merlin in his delirium stopped struggling, though he still thrashed weakly whispering Arthur's name. Ewain approached Merlin slowly and quietly until his hand cupped his forehead. Gwenivere watched as he whispered words she did not understand, yet she recognized that they were of the same language Merlin had spoken in his sleep. The language of magic..spells. "Ewain?" she whispered, but Ewain held up his hand to silence her. Gently, still murmuring, Ewain took a rag from the basin and covered Merlin's eyes with it. Slowly, Merlin's cries faded and his breathing became regular as he slipped into sleep. Ewain exhaled raising his eyes to heaven and sunk back into a chair.
Gwenivere was watching him in awe, slowly she approached him. "Ewain?" she said quietly. Ewain looked at her, his eyes weary and contrite. " What did you just do?" Ewain's eyes were searching, "What is it that you think I have done?"
Gwenivere crinkled her brow, " Was that magic?" Ewain closed his eyes. " I could say no right now, say it was a trick I'd learned while I was a boy with my father's falcons. That would be mostly true." He paused then turning his too old eyes on her. "But, you see. I promised never to lie to anyone here. Yes, my lady, that was magic and yes, I am a wizard and yes, I know what that means. But no, no I am not sorry." There was a pride in his eyes, one she'd often seen in Merlin's and Gaius's as though he shared a secret others could only guess at. At times she envied it. She lowered her eyes and nodded.
"You know you can never speak of this to anyone else."
Ewain stood walking to the window and staring out at the court. "I'm not a fool…my lady." Gwenivere walked to him and put a hand on his arm. " You can trust me Ewain…you're not the only one."
Ewain looked at her in surprise. "You know about Merlin, then?" Gwenivere nodded. "I've known for quite some time. Ewain, you must believe me I would never betray you or Merlin."
Ewain turned to her and nodded. "I believe you, do you still believe the same of me?" Gwenivere nodded, "Ewain, nothing could change what I think of you. As I told Merlin once, my trust isn't based on what you are or who you are it is based on what you do." Ewain bowed to her taking her hand and touching it to his lips. " You are a just Queen, My lady. I only hope one day your husband will embrace your beliefs." Gwenivere said nothing, only motioned for him to rise awkwardly.
" What I did has only made him more comfortable. Very powerful wizards can sometimes heal, but it takes more energy than it's worth. So I wouldn't be so quick to thank me. " Ewain was pacing, his youth was showing in his frustration. If it had not been so pitiful it might have been endearing. He gestured helplessly to nothing in particular, " I..I just wish I knew more..could do more. I feel so useless."
Gwenivere heard Merlin's voice in her head so many years ago saying the same thing. She couldn't help but smile, "You shouldn't punish yourself so. You're doing all you can."
"It isn't enough. Wizard's sixth rule " If you think you've done all you can…learn something new. But I can't..I just can't."
"You sound like, Merlin now." Said Gwenivere Ewain turned to her his eyes unfaltering.
"Who do you think taught me?"
Wizards seventh rule: "Keep your friends close, your enemies closer."
It was distance in the end that caused the ensuing tragedy. True it was the wizard himself that cast the spell, it was his hand that sent the darkness across the miles to where Merlin lay. But had Merlin been able to defeat him, if Arthur had rode out sooner perhaps it all could have been prevented. But no one even thought of sorcery until it was nearly too late.
Poor Ewain, he seemed to have been born under an unlucky star. Whenever he turned his back for just a moment tragedy occurred . So it was this time.
Ewain had gone for water and left Gwenivere with Merlin and the gaurds. Tristram approached her at one point.
" You should rest my lady. Ewain can tend to Merlin, it is what he is here for."
Gwenivere turned her eyes to Tristram, " Tell me Tristram, if Arthur were here in Merlin's place. Would you leave him?" Tristram retired contritely, there was no need for a response. Gareth, who stood leaning on a wall looking bored to tears, spoke then. " My Lady, with all due respect, Arthur is the king. It would be different with him. Merlin is just a.."
Tristram lept in then, his eyes more angry then Gwenivere ever remembered them being before. " Just a what Gareth? A nobody, a servant? Are you as blind as you are stupid? Don't you see what Merlin means to Arthur? To all of us? If not I suggest you get your arrogant head out of your arm pit and LOOK!"
Gareth stood his mouth open like a frogs, rendered speechless by Tristram's tirade. Gwenivere had to repress the urge to laugh, it sounded so funny to hear all that coming from shy Tristram she rose instead. "Will you hush? He can hear you you know. You're supposed to be equals and you're at each other's throats! Arthur wouldn't allow it and neither will I!"
"That's right," Arthur's voice came from the door making everyone jump, " If I can't trust two of my best knights to keep order, who can I trust?"
Gwenivere went to Arthur's side, he seemed weary and if one looked closely you could see him trembling. Gwenivere took his hand and he held it tightly, something wet and thicker then sweat trickled across her hand. She looked at him in concern, but he only gave a ghost of a smile and squeezed her hand all the tighter.
"My Lord," said Gareth still reeling from Tristram's Tirade, "We did not expect you back so soon."
"I did not expect to be back so soon." Said Arthur grimly, then in a pointed tone. " Oh and Gareth, my friend. I'm glad to see you've managed to remove your head from your armpit." Gareth squirmed. Tristram, over by Merlin's bed looked like he wanted to die. Gareth hurriedly moved on.
"What news my lord? Did you find who you were looking for?"
"No. He found us. We will talk later."
Gareth nodded, both he and Tristram looked worried. With Arthur, "We will talk later" were the words of doom. Arthur took his hand reluctantly from Gwenivere's and walked to Merlin's bed. He put his broad palm over Merlin's forehead and crinkled his brow. " Still no change?" Gwenivere walked to his side. " He woke up again. He was asking for you, But now.."
"You didn't tell him where I was did you?"
Tristram spoke then, "He figured it out Sire, it was as if he'd sensed it."
Arthur shook his head, " I might have guessed. How badly did he take it?"
" Ask Ewain," said Gareth dryly, " You should see the bruises on his wrists."
Tristram glared at him. Arthur sighed and walked over to Merlin. "Merlin,Merlin,Merlin,." He said with a sigh, there was such deep affection in the words it said more than volumes.
" Where is Ewain?"
"He gone for water, he should be back at any minute."
"How did he manage to calm Merlin down? Once that man has something in his head..he's almost as bad as I am."
Gwenivere looked away, " Ewain has a way with his patients."
Gareth snorted, " Yeah, he works real magic with them. OW!"
Gwenivere lifted her delicate heeled foot from Gareth's toe and continued. "Ewain knows many folk remedies that work when others fail."
Arthur narrowed his eyes, " I've warned him about using those, their too close to magic for my taste. But if it's helped Merlin then I've no quarrel with it."
At that moment Merlin stirred, Arthur drew closer to him. " Merlin?"
"Where am I? Have I gone blind?"
Arthur stifled a relieved chuckle and removed the cloth from Merlin's face. Merlin blinked over at him blearily. " Arthur.." there was unquestionable relief in his voice, then the ghost of a smile. " I thought I smelled you."
" Nothing's going to change your attitude is it Merlin?"
The two exchanged a smile. Then Merlin scanned the room and spoke. "Where is Ewain so I can skin him?"
" He saved your life, Merlin."
" Yes and stopped me from saving yours..though I suppose I should thank him for that as well."
Arthur's tone was proud, " Merlin, I'm a soldier as well as a king you know. I can take care of myself."
Merlin nodded, taking Arthur's hand. " I know. "
Arthur looked startled, but he nodded. " That's right. But, having you on my side is most welcome."
Merlin smiled, then he lay back for a moment. As he did so his sleep shirt opened at the collar, Gwenivere felt her heart enter her throat as she saw an amulet of sorts hanging there. Arthur grabbed hold of it, his face livid as he lifted it off Merlin's head.
"Is THIS the sort of medicine Ewain practice's? Gwen, did you know of this?"
Gwenivere shook her head, " No my lord, none of us did." It was only half a lie, she had no knowledge of the amulet, just the magic behind.
"Where is that boy?" Arthur made a stride toward the door just as Ewain opened it. " Sire.." he began, then his large eyes fell on the amulet in his hand and he bowed his head. Beside him the water bucket fell to the floor.
"Sire, if you would let me explain.."
" What is this?"
" It's a charm…"
Arthur's eyes grew livid, but his tone was even. " A charm…am I correct in assuming that means an enchantment as in magic?"
Ewain looked up at him, " It is not an enchantment sire…but it is magic. It is for protection."
Arthur's mouth was a thin line, if it had not been Ewain standing there Arthur would have been far less calm. " So you are telling me…that you practice magic…that you are indeed a..a.."
"Warlock, your majesty. That is what we call ourselves."
Arthur's tone was taut with emotion. "I see. You have been using magic on all your patients? Including me?"
Gwenivere took her husband's arm, " Arthur, now is not the time."
"Hush Gwen, Ewain answer me."
"No sire, I would never use magic on any member of your court..Merlin was, a special case."
Arthur nodded, " I see. A special case. Well tell me Ewain..who convinced you to work your magic on Merlin?"
" My lord, I never…I told you it was all for his protection."
Arthur was moving closer to him now, " Protection? From what?"
"Dark magic, those that might wish to hurt him."
Arthur grabbed Ewain's arm. " Stop LYING Ewain! ALL magic is dark..it all has consequences and you have exposed Merlin,yourself and this entire kingdom to these consequences. I'm not a fool, no good can come of magic!"
" Forgive me sire, I should not have gone against your wishes…but I'm not sorry."
Arthur grabbed him by the collar then and pinned him against the wall. "You ungreatful little fool. I let you join my court, little nameless thing that you were. Merlin took you under his wing, taught you everything he knows and this whole time you were lying?"
Ewain's eyes were surprisingly calm. "Fearless," thought Gwenivere, "What a knight he would have made." Ewain anger and hurt in his eyes spoke softly. " With all due respect sire. You gave me no other choice."
Arthur put him down and his anger waning he turned to lean on the windowsill collecting himself. Gwenivere moved to go to him, but she was interrupted.
"Arthur…" Merlin's voice was pleading, " Leave the boy alone. Please?"
Arthur turned to him, "Merlin…did you know of this?" Merlin went to open his mouth but Ewain spoke quickly.
"No, Merlin was no party to this. This was all my own doing."
"Ewain…" Merlin's voice was chastising, then he seemed to settle himself. " Arthur, he's just a boy…he's saved my life and many more besides it. Don't be hard on him."
" You're right Merlin," said Arthur turning to Ewain, " He did save your life. That's why I'm sparing his."
Merlin opened his mouth to protest, but Arthur held up his hand. " I'll be going now. Lancelot, Gareth, come with me. Gwen, my love go back to your chambers I don't want you alone with this druid."
Gwenivere's eyes flashed, " You idiot!"
"Gwen, please we'll talk later.."
"Oh you bet we will!"
As Arthur's eyes fell on his wife's livid face he bowed his head, " I'll send a guard to stay with you. Ewain," Ewain raised his patient, long suffering eyes to meet his king's. Arthur's voice was level. " This isn't over."
Ewain nodded, Merlin's voice was cold steel. " Are you sure you can trust such a dangerous man with my care Arthur?" Arthur furrowed his brow at Merlin. Then Merlin spoke again, " Arthur, you're like a brother to me. But sometimes you can be such an Arse. WE will talk later, I want whatever Gwen leaves of you."
Arthur looked first to Gwen, who scowled and then back to Merlin who didn't look much happier and finally to his knights who refused to make eye contact like they'd suddenly developed some brain disease.
"ALL RIGHT!" he threw up his hands, " If everyone's done plotting my death, can I meet with my knights now?"
Wordlessly Gareth, Lancelot and Arthur exited.
"Well, that was better than a jousting match." Said Merlin laying back and closing his eyes wearily, " Don't worry Ewain he won't touch you. Not if I have anything to say about it."
Ewain said nothing, he simply picked up the spilled water bucket and went to the door. As it closed behind him, Merlin lept as a glass beaker flew across the room and hit the door.
"Gwen?"
"Oh just rest, Merlin! I'll stay with you."
Merlin's voice was hesitant, " Perhaps, at the moment, that might not be a good idea."
"It's either that or I single handedly wipe out the pendragon blood line. I'll stay Merlin."
Merlin was meek, " Yes, my lady."
Silence reigned for a time. Then Gwen spoke.
"How can such a good man, be such an unimaginable bastard?"
Merlin laughed in spite of himself and cried out in pain. When he'd recovered he spoke gently.
"You've known Arthur longer then even I have, if you haven't guessed it I certainly haven't. I would say it either has to do with being royalty or being a Pendragon. Either way we can't change it."
Gwenivere pursed her lips, " I suppose I'll forgive him. He won't hurt Ewain, I know that. He's not like his father he shows his teeth more then he uses them."
"I know, that's why I'm not more upset. Poor Ewain."
"Did you know? When you took him in?"
Merlin gave a sideways smile, " The child levitated my purse right out of my pocket as I walked by him on the street. It wasn't hard to guess at his talents."
"Yet you brought him here?"
" What would have happened to him if I hadn't?"
Gwenivere was silent. Beside her, Merlin reached out and slipped his hand over her own in comfort. " Arthur is a good man and he will only get better. I'm sure of it."
"I hope you're right." Said Gwenivere with a sigh, " Because if he does many more things like this, I'm going to have to kill him!"
Merlin laughed then, that infectious boy's laugh of his. That coupled with the fact that it was punctuated by cursing and " Oh Ow!" every so often made Gwenivere join him in spite of herself.
Gwenivere would never know at what point Merlin stopped laughing or when she noticed his face was no longer peaceful, but she would always remember the swiftness of it. The ease with which evil invaded their happiness, it would haunt her for years to come.
Gwenivere was wiping the laughter tears from her eyes with her sleeve, when she heard a choking sound beside her. She turned toward it.
"Merlin? You haven't laughed yourself to death have you?"
Merlin's voice was half smothered rasp as he spoke her name, " Gwen.."
Gwenivere could see now that Merlin's face was contorted and turning a deep red as he fought for air. His hand clawed at his throat as though fighting to free his neck from some violent grasp.
Gwenivere cried out, leaping to her feet. "Merlin? Merlin! What is it? What's happening?"
Merlin could not speak, his lips had begun to turn blue and he still struggled with the phantom hand at his throat. Gwenivere pried his fingers loose despite his protests and to her horror she saw a livid bruise in the shape of a dark hand rising on Merlin's throat.
"EWAIN!"
At Gwenivere's cry Ewain came bursting through the door. The minute his eyes fell on Merlin he was in motion. He pushed Gwenivere out of the way gently and leaned over Merlin whose eyes were now closing as his struggling became weaker. As Gwenivere had done, he took Merlin's hands away and when he saw the hand print, there was no disguising his fear. But just as quickly his face went hard.
"My lady, listen to me. If you will not leave, which I wish you would listen carefully. Do not interrupt the spell once it's begun. No matter what you see or hear, do not interfere."
Gwenivere nodded, tears in her eyes. Ewain his eyes already seeming older than his face drew aside Merlin's hands and placed his own over the mark and closed his eyes.
His lips moved as he began to chant in a strong voice, then as though grappling with a foe Ewain stiffened and his face contorted as some unseen power raced through him. Beneath his hands Merlin had gone still, his face a deep crimson.
It was over in moments, there was a flash of light as a dark cloud lifted from Merlin and drifted out the window, then Ewain relaxed and Merlin drew a deep breath and began gasping deeply. Gwenivere lifted him up and propped him against the pillows. Ewain had retreated to the window, where he braced himself against the sill drawing deep breaths. Gwenivere turned back to Merlin whose eyes were fluttering open.
"Merlin? Can you hear me?"
Merlin's voice was a pained rasp, " Ewain…where is Ewain…"
Ewain came forward looking somber, he knelt beside Merlin his young face white and washed with sweat. " Merlin?"
"Come closer…"
Whack!
The blow to the back of Ewain's head was swift as a snake strike. For the first time Gwenivere heard the young man protest.
"Hey! That's gratitude for you! I just saved your life!"
"By risking your own! Never do that again!"
"No promises."
Merlin smiled but Ewain's smile was weak and Gwenivere could see his hand tremble as he lifted himself from the ground. She went to him as he crossed the room leaning on the fire place mantel his face on his arm.
"Ewain? Are you ill?"
"Merlin is out of danger now, you should go."
" That spell…"
Ewain turned to her, " Sometimes we have to break the rules…even if we know it might hurt us."
Gwenivere was confused by this comment but she didn't have time to question Ewain any further, for at that moment Arthur came through the door. Gwenivere ran to him and threw her arms around him, burying her face in his shirt. Arthur stroked her hair puzzled.
"Gwen, what's going on?"
Gwenivere related the tale and Arthur's face grew pale. Then quite suddenly he turned on Ewain.
"YOU!" he said, " What did you do to him?"
Ewain did not turn from where he leaned, his voice seemed oddly dull. " Sire…it wasn't me. I would never…you know that"
"I don't know what you would do anymore Ewain! I find out your using magic, then this happens!"
Merlin spoke up then, " Excuse me, but contrary to popular opinion, I'm alive and in possession of both my ears. If you'd let me speak for myself. Ewain saved my life…"
"Using magic no doubt…"
Ewain did glare at him then, " What else could I use against a spell?"
"How did you know it was a spell?"
Ewain looked away wearily, " I have not the heart nor the energy to justify myself to you anymore, my lord. I've done what I believed was right."
"Merlin is right," said Gwenivere, " Ewain did save his life I saw it."
Arthur's eyes were still hard. " How convenient for you, Ewain. How lucky for this to happen just when your secret has been discovered."
"ARTHUR!" Merlin's shout startled everyone, " Enough. The boys done no harm! Your accusing him of things he didn't do!"
"Merlin, I understand your feelings for Ewain but how do we know he DIDN'T do these things."
Ewain spoke from where he stood. " My lord, forgive me for having offended you. But on my word I have done no harm here."
Arthur turned away then, " All right, perhaps your right. But you will still be tried."
Ewain at the end of his rope struck out at Arthur, " Merlin's right..you are an arse."
Arthur froze and turned slowly. " Tell me you did not just dare to insult me. Ewain have you forgotten who I am?"
Ewain met Arthur's eyes. " No my lord…but you need to hear it…and I have nothing left to lose."
Arthur turned on his heel in indignation, but at that moment there was a crash as Ewain crumpled to the ground.
Gwenivere made a move forward, but Arthur to her surprise had beaten her there. Arthur was not a cruel man, but he had a temper and it often blinded him to reason. The truth was, Arthur had grown fond of Ewain and the hurt at his betrayal had not overwhelmed that fact.
As he knelt beside him, Arthur lifted Ewain so he was lying on his arm . "Ewain? Ewain what is it?"
Ewain opened his eyes with a moan, he was shivering now. " I won't be any trouble anymore, sire. You can be assured of that."
Arthur grasped Ewain's shoulder and spoke gently to him. " You were right Ewain, I am an arse. But I'm working of being less of one..please forgive me."
"I did before you asked. It's been an honor to have served in your court…"
" You'll still serve..Ewain I made a mistake."
" Don't I know it." Ewain smiled slightly, his voice trembled ," Good bye my lord."
"What?"
Merlin suddenly awoke from his shock at that moment and despite Gwenivere's attempts to keep him there he hobbled toward Ewain calling to him.
"Ewain!" Merlin slid to his knees beside Ewain, " Ewain, no. Look at me, you will not give in to this!"
Ewain's eyes were full of tears. " I'm sorry Merlin, I couldn't let you die. It was too important..you were too important."
"That spell was too strong for you! You knew that! Ewain, you little fool…"
Arthur spoke in frustration and panic, " Merlin, what is going on? What's the matter with him?"
Ewain spoke then his voice surprisingly calm, "I'm dying my lord."
" Hush," said Merlin, " Just hold on, we can get you through this..you're not the first Warlock to misjudge his powers."
Ewain was crying now, Arthur had stepped back in awe of what he was witnessing. " Wizard's second rule…" said Ewain, " Respect the balance.."
"Damn the balance! Ewain,you can't die your too young.."
" Don't do this Merlin, I don't want us to part like this. Say you forgive me.."
Merlin was weeping now, " Of course I forgive you, there's nothing to forgive."
"Don't blame yourself Merlin, this was my decision."
" Why Ewain? Why?"
Ewain smiled, his eyes looking deep into Merlin's. "It was my destiny."
Then all at once Ewain's eyes went empty and he was gone. Merlin sat like a statue holding the boy in his arms. Off to the side he could hear Gwenivere sobbing and Arthur comforting her. But above all that the loudest sound of all was the sound of his heart breaking.
The silence came suddenly, Ninianne looked up to see Merlin with a hand over his eyes struggling with tears. She went to him and put her arms around him.
"I'm sorry."
"So am I, child. It was such a waste, that boy could have been so many things."'
" It wasn't his destiny, you told me everything happens for a reason."
Merlin looked over at her. " You're right. I think now I can finally see the reason."
"How so?"
"I knew there was a reason Ewain sacrificed himself for me, I see now it was you."
Ninianne looked away shyly. " I hope I make it worth it."
Merlin put his arm around the girl.
" You already have."
