Author's Note: Sorry that it's been a while. I got really swamped with school. Thanks for all the reviews, love you all! Enjoy and review!
Alex lay motionless upon her bed. If it weren't for the steady rise and fall of her chest, Harper would have thought she had up and died.
"The kitchen only had frozen peas." Harper said, as she shut the door to their room behind her.
Alex sat up, catching the frozen pack of peas tossed her way and pressing them to her swollen lip. "I'm such an idiot. She'll never talk to me again."
"Not your brightest moment, that's for sure. I can't believe you kissed her."
"I know." Alex groaned. "I have absolutely no idea how to fix this." Alex flopped back down on her bed, shutting her eyes tight as though doing this would make the entire world disappear.
It was hell. There was simply no other way to describe what Alex was living through. She had become the cliché that she hated the most; jilted lover, unable to eat or sleep, living out complete misery.
And it wasn't just how pathetic she was living. No matter if she was sleeping or awake she saw Mitchie everywhere. Everywhere. She literally saw her on the face of every brunette girl in the school. It was torture in its worst form.
"Alex you should really try and get some sleep, you look a little…tired."
"Trust me Harper, if it was that easy then I would be asleep as we speak. It's my fault though. I've got no one to blame but myself."
Harper sighed. She had absolutely no idea what to do for her best friend. It was so hard to see Alex so utterly destroyed. She was practically a different person.
Alex stared back at her best friend, the pity in her eyes almost too much to bear. Alex hated feeling so weak, so emotional. Exhausted, her eyes began to droop, the frozen peas sliding slowly down her face as her head fell against the pillow.
The second her lids had closed she saw Mitchie. Her face morphed from heartbroken to angry in a matter of seconds and Alex could only study the hatred in her beautiful brown eyes for so long before it became too much.
Opening her eyes, Alex shot up in her bed at lightning speed. "Fuck" she hissed. "I can't live like this."
"You've just got to keep on trying Alex. Don't give up."
"I know. I know." Sighing, Alex put the frozen peas down, tentatively touching her lip and gritting her teeth at the sharp pain. She had always had a pretty good tolerance for pain. It was all mind games, focusing on the clarity of the brain. Forget the wounds, forget the pain. If only emotional pain was as simple.
The next day found Alex's lip swelled to twice its size. Upon entering class, she made a point of looking like a serious bitch so as not to attract any questions. As she passed her desk, Alex chanced a glance in Mitchie's direction. Their gazes locked for the briefest moment. Mitchie's face was blank. If she felt even the slightest bit bad for what she had done, she wasn't showing it.
Alex collapsed into her seat. She stared at the back of Mitchie's head feeling more defeated than ever.
"Mrs. Costanzia, may I go to the restroom?"
"Yes Miss Torres but be quick about it."
Mitchie stood up and walked out of the room, Alex's eyes following her until she was out the door. Suddenly Harper's words were echoing in her mind. "You've just got to keep on trying Alex. Don't give up."
Her best friends words gave her wearied body strength. Standing up, she briskly walked down the isle, hoping to catch Mitchie while she was still in the hallway.
"Miss Russo, what do you think you're doing?"
"Bathroom Mrs. C, I really really have to go. Bad omelets" Alex explained hurriedly as she rushed out of the room. Raising her pace to a slight jog, Alex ran down the hallway, praying that she could still fix the mess she'd made.
Turning the corner she almost ran into Mitchie. Stopping abruptly, she tentatively reached out and tapped her on the shoulder.
Mitchie turned around but upon seeing who had tapped her she immediately frowned. "What Alex?"
"Mitchie. Please, I'm so sorry about the way I acted yesterday."
"You're sorry for a lot of things, apparently."
"I know, I know. I'm an idiot. Just, please. At the very least, let me apologize the right way."
Mitchie sighed deeply, her eyes falling to the ground.
Alex swallowed hard hoping that it was progress that she at least hadn't bitten her again yet.
Before either girl could do or say anything else a loud alarm sounded. Both of them looked up, bewildered.
"What the hell?" Alex said, looking around. "Are we having a fucking fire drill right now?"
Further down the hall, a teacher opened their door, looking out. "Hey! You two girls need to get in a classroom right now. We're having a lock-in drill and everyone needs to be secured in a classroom.
"Right." Without thinking, Alex grabbed Mitchie's hand and pulled her into the nearest classroom, shutting the door behind them.
The classroom was empty and dark. Both girls were suddenly very aware of their aloneness and the feel of each other's hands. It was with much reluctance that Alex let Mitchie's hand go, having learned from yesterday's mistake. Control was everything.
Walking over to the window, she separated the blinds, looking outside. "A lock-in, of course that's what we're having right now. Jesus Christ. I wonder how long this'll take." Turning back around, she faced Mitchie once more. "I don't know what I can do to fix this, to fix us. But I know that it's all I can do is try, I've got to or I'll just go crazy. I've fucked up. A lot. I know and I don't blame you for hating me. I deserve it. But, I really need you to know that I was honest to God lying to you when I pushed you away." That day behind the science building felt like it had been years ago. It was hard for Alex to believe that there had been a time in her life that she hadn't felt like complete shit. "It's stupid but I was scared. So scared because you actually mean something to me. I…I loved…love you." She sighed running a hand through her long hair. "I'm so sorry."
She said it for what felt like the millionth time but for some reason this time felt different. Maybe it was because Mitchie was really looking at her then and it might have been wishful thinking but she didn't look quite as angry anymore.
They stared at each other for a while. Alex didn't mind because anything was better than tears in her book.
Finally Mitchie spoke. "Does it hurt?"
The question caught Alex off guard. For a split second she thought she might be talking about her aching heart but knew better. "What do you mean?'
"Your lip." Mitchie took a small step towards her. "It's pretty swollen."
"Oh. No, it's…it's fine, I guess. Nothing to write home about."
"I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean for things to go that far."
Alex sighed, shaking her head. "Stop it. You don't have anything to apologize for. I was out of line."
Mitchie took another tentative step. They were close now. Only a desk stood between them. "You really hurt me Alex, so much. I should hate you, I really should. You definitely deserve it."
Alex bowed her head in shame. It was over. She had pushed away the only girl she had ever loved and now she was gone for good. Tears formed in her dark eyes, trickling down her cheeks. Reaching a hand up to her face, Alex was about to brush the tears away when a hand firmly gripped her wrist.
Looking up, she found Mitchie standing right in front of her now. Pushing the hand back down to her side, she studied Alex's tear stained face. With a shaking hand she reached out and grazed Alex's cheek. Her finger followed the path the tear had fallen until it was wiped away. It continued across her face until she was gently tracing the bruise at her lips.
Alex didn't dare to say anything. She stood perfectly still as though the slightest movement would scare Mitchie away and it probably would have. Her touch was white hot against her skin, making goose bumps erupt all over.
Finally Mitchie's had went still. The girls stared at each other and Alex's only measurement of time was the rapid thumps of her heartbeat.
"I…I can't." Mitchie said. "I should hate you but I just can't." Tears were falling down her cheeks now but Alex was still too scared to do anything. "You don't know how hard I tried to hate you Alex. It's no good, my heart just won't listen."
And then they were kissing, Mitchie crashing her lips against Alex's and tangling her fingers in long strands of dark hair.
Alex felt like she must have died somewhere along the line because it was just too good to be true. She let her hands rest lightly at Mitchie's hips, afraid if she held her too tight that she would shatter into a million pieces all over the floor.
It was only at the sound of the door opening that they broke apart. Breathing hard both girls stared up at the teacher who had just walked in.
He looked suspicious for a moment but seemed to be willing to drop it. "Um, girls the lock-in has been completed. You can return to your class now. It was a very successful drill."
Both girls nodded and the teacher left.
"So," Alex ventured. "Where does all this leave us?"
Mitchie sighed deeply, unconsciously touching her bruised lips. "I don't know."
