Chapter 6 - Potion Class
I lend forward over the book I was reading as I sat in an empty hallway as to avoid getting bothered by any of the nosy and annoying students.
Focusing on the book I was reading before letting out a groan.
I was hopping maybe reading a book about how to handle grief of a loved one and this keeps repeating that talking to people about the pain you feel helps.
Fat chance that I was ever going to do that.
Just a few more weeks. Just a few more weeks until Christmas break. You can survive a few more weeks.
I should be fine as long as I can find other ways of dealing with my pain.
I went to turn the page only to let a squeal in surprise as I feel someone's weight on my back.
Some of the weight disappears but not completely as I slam the book close before who ever is behind could know what I was reading.
I turn to look over my shoulder, only to come eye to eye with a pair of brought blue eyes and a pout on the girl's face.
My eyes widen in shock before glaring at her. "Has anyone ever taught you personal space?" I yelled at her as her face was inches from mine which caused Marlene to jump back in surprise before grin a spread across her.
Stay calm, stay calm. Only just a few weeks until Christmas break.
"What do you want?" I snapped.
So much for staying calm.
Marlene frowns at my rudeness but quickly replaces it with a smile on her face.
"I wanted to hang out with you." Says Marlene cheerfully as she jumps off the window seat.
"Why?" I demand.
"Because we're friends." Says Marlene as she bounces on heels of her feet.
My eyes widen in surprise but then I glare at her as I tense up. But this time, it wasn't because I was lying.
"Why would you think that? I never said we were friends!" I yell at her. "I don't even know you!"
I then stood up and started walking away from her in a rush to get away from the annoying girl as I grip the book tightly in one hand.
Marlene caught up with me. "Anyone friends with Lily is a friend of mine." Says Marlene cheerfully.
I then stopped walking causing Marlene to stop too.
I give her my coldest glare causing her to take step back.
"What makes you think that I'm friends with her because we're not friends! She is only my tutor and that's it! I don't need friends!" I yell at her before running away.
What's the point in making friends when they would just leave you in the end?
.o0o.
I sat down across from Lily once more. I saw a look of surprise flash across her face when she sees me sit down in front of her.
Probably because of what happened at last tutoring session.
I didn't care through. This was my only way of soicalizing with people without having to actually admit to the fact that I actually want friends.
It was slient between us for the exception of Lily breaking the slient every now then to ask me a question. Sometimes it was about the potion we were learning in class, to make sure I understood it. Which I did but sometimes I would ask certain questions to make it look like that I did need help in Potions. Other times, she would ask casual questions to keep it from getting to awkward between us.
They were simple questions that I didn't have a problem with answering. Like, what is your favorite animal? A cat. What are your favorite colors? Blue and gray.
"Hey, Daisy?" I look up at Lily from the eassy I was writing. "Marlene told me how you had yelled at her earlier today and how you didn't want to be friends. If you don't to be friends then that's fine. I'm not going to force you or anything and I'll try to keep Marlene off your back. I just was wondering if I did anything wrong to make you hate me."
I let out a sigh. Now this isn't a simple question.
I could see a look of curiosity on her face and also a little bit of hurt in her eyes.
I frown as I look down at the potion book that sat on tbe table next to my paper. "I don't hate you, I never had. I wasn't very interested in you and I'm still not very interested in you. You haven't done anything wrong either. I'm just not interested in having friends. I prefer to be alone is all. I also wasn't in a good mood when Marlene showed up, and she just got on my last nerve." I explain softly.
I look up at Lily. She stares at me before giving me a small smile. "That's alright, I understand that Marlene can be a little overwhelming with her weirdness. I'll try my best to keep you off your back but I can't promise anything. But if you ever want to, you can come hangout with us. I don't mind, neither will Marlene. She already gotten over you yelling at her. Stuff like that doesn't keep her down for long."
I nod to what she was saying. "Thanks, I appreciate that and I'm glad Marlene is doing alright. I was pretty harsh."
To be honest through, what I said was a lie. The one thing I hated most was being alone.
But I was to much of a coward to stand up and say that I didn't like being alone.
That the real reason why I freaked out was because I was afraid.
I was afraid of making friends.
Of being disappointed when they leave you behind.
Of the pain I will receive when everyone I care about will one day leave me.
Just like he did.
.o0o.
The sound of feather pens scurrying across paper filled the room as students sat there desk. Busy answering the questions on there potion test.
I sigh as I look back down at my paper after observing my classmates. I tap my fingers against the table with my empty hand as my right hand held the feather pen as I was trying to remember all the ingredients to a potion right now.
I look up from the test once more but instead look out through the window. Only to see a black dog run past the window which causes me to raise an eyebrow seeing as dogs weren't allowed at Hogwarts.
The thought of it being an animagus caused me to shake my head with a small smile as I found humor in how stupid that thought.
The only reason why my thoughts even took that route in the first place was because I was one myself. An illegal one of course. It wasn't an easy task in becoming one and despite that, I wasn't proud of it. Mainly because of why I did it and because I did it illegally.
Once I became one. I used it a lot during my 3rd year as a way to hide away from the bullies and to skip Potion class without getting caught. But I stopped doing that when there was one time where I almost got caught.
I let out another sigh as my mind begin to trail along to him once more as I look back at my Potion test.
He so badly wanted to go to Hogwarts but never did go. He loved reading books about potions. It was his favorite subject.
But I never have cared about the subject through. But he would spend most of his time reading potion books and he would tell me everything he learned with a smile on his face. When he smiled. It made it seem as everything was going to be alright. That everything was perfect.
But he was gone now. This world was without his smile now. Forever.
I narrow my eyes at the test as press the tip of the feather pen to the paper as I continue taking the test. Determintion shot through my veins like lightning.
I can pass this, for him. He would want me to pass this.
.o0o.
It was another day in the potion classroom.
I was about to leave when Professor Slughorn called me up.
"I've been noticing that you have been doing very well in this class now. So I wanted to tell you that you don't have to do anymore tutoring with Miss Evans anymore." Professor Slughorn tells me. "I've already informed Miss Evans of this and she told me to tell you that she has no problem with helping you if you think you still need it or if you just have some questions."
I nod. "Alright, thank you," I tell him as I give him a fake smile.
I lost that smile though when I left the classroom as nothing but pain, sadness, and angery fills me from head to toe.
Pain from being so close to achieving what I have been wishing for only to be left disappointed.
Sadness in knowing that this is how will be. I will always be alone with no one my side.
Anger for being so weak. For being a useless coward. For not being more like him. It really shouldn't be surprise on why father left me. I'm surprised my mother and grandmother hasn't abandoned me yet.
I sigh as I remember how I laughed when I was in her company and how I actually started to enjoy her company.
But of course, the happiness I felt wasn't going to last for long.
It never does. All I ever felt was pain, sadness, and anger and in the end. There was nothing I can do to get rid of it.
I wipe away the few tears that rolled down my cheeks.
One thing I wish more then anything, was for him to come back. All I wanted was for my bestfriend to come back. He told me he would always be there for me. he promised he would always be there and yet, here I am. In the middle of a hallway with tears rolling down my cheeks all by myself.
Like the weak little cry baby that I am.
