December 1924
Cora felt Robert squeeze her where their interlocked arms met and she turned her attention away from the snow covered trees and to her husband. She laughed at the smile she saw on his face. It was the definition of beaming and it made his happy eyes look like a boys.
"What are you so happy about?" Cora asked.
"It's almost Christmas! There's a fresh snow on the ground! And of course there's that small business of Dr Richard's saying that you're improving."
Cora leaned toward him and kissed his shoulder while they walked slowly down the path. She felt better than she had in months and was most relived when they had been told yesterday that the spots on her lungs seemed to be getting smaller. She tried to be strong and brave, especially in front of Robert and the girls, but she had been terrified inside of having Dr Richards deliver more bad news. For the first time since falling ill, she thought that there might really be a chance that they would get through it. She still had to lay out in the shed everyday and continue the gold treatment, which made her nauseous for days, but the restrictions to her daily activities had been slightly lifted and her time in bed cut in half. Breathing the crisp air deeply, she reveled in the air flowing smoothly in and out of her body instead of causing her to shake with coughing, as it had only a week before.
"Is this pace alright? Would you like to slow down?" Robert asked.
"No. It's perfect." Cora replied, smiling at her husband reassuringly. Within minutes of meeting with the doctor, the deep grooves that worry had carved in Robert's face smoothed out noticeably. His mood was higher than she had seen in a long time. He practically bounced in his shoes as they walked.
"Cora, we should do something really special this year for Christmas!" Robert declared.
"Such as?" Cora asked cautiously.
"Oh I don't know. But I'd like to make a real festivity out of it. Let's get Shrimpie here. He wrote that he'll be leaving India for the month. And your mother and some of our other dear friends. Nothing grand, I don't want you to lift a finger or tire yourself out but I think it would be splendid to bring some joy into the house. Who knows, maybe we could get Carson to dress like Santa Claus!"
Cora laughed out loud at the thought of their very serious butler dressed in white beard and red velvet suit. Robert stopped walking and looked at her with tears in his eyes.
"God, you don't know how much I've missed that sound." Robert leaned down and kissed her and then pulled her into a strong embrace.
"Do you think the worst could really be behind us?" Cora whispered.
"I have to believe it because the alternative is unfathomable to me." Robert replied softly into Cora's hair before leaning away from her and resuming their walk, not wanting to dampen the high spirits that he had.
"Hmmm, that's odd." Robert said after a few moments of them walking in silence. Cora had been deep in thought, his words pulling her back and she strained to see what he was looking at. It was Edith, coming from the Drewe's house. Mr Drewe was holding a child in the door waving at her as she left.
Cora remained quiet. The shed's windows afforded her a panoramic view of the estate and there was little to do when she was in there besides read and stare out into space. She saw Edith many times walking in the direction of the farm and would have brought it up in conversation, if their daughter was in the habit of speaking to her lately. But since the revelation about Michael, Edith had remained aloof and distant. Cora glanced up at Robert and could tell by the concentrated look on his face that he was musing inwardly over Edith's behavior. Trying to steer him away from his thoughts, Cora started planning their Christmas extravaganza.
Being summoned to tea at the Dowager house was not out of the ordinary, but Cora had a feeling that something was afoot all the same. Especially since she was instructed to come alone. She waited for Mr. Spratt to announce her at the door to the morning room before moving inside. Once in the room, she was greeted by the overly jovial faces of her mother and sister-in-law. The feeling she had all morning magnified. Rosamund always seemed to have her hand in something. She optimistically hoped that Robert had shared with them his plans for Christmas and that they were offering to help, but she doubted this was the case.
"Hello Cora! It's so good to see you looking so well!" Rosamund fussed, kissing her cheek and then taking her by the elbow to lead her to the sofa.
Cora sat at the edge of her seat and accepted the teacup that Mr Spratt offered her. She looked from Violet to Rosamund and raised her eyebrows.
"So?" She asked after taking a sip of her tea. Mr. Spratt offered her a sandwich and she declined with a shake of her head, too tense to eat.
Violet looked at her innocently. "Can't a mother ask her daughters to tea?"
"Yes, she can. But I doubt that Rosamund came all the way up here from London just for tea."
Rosamund fingered a piece of beading on her dress, avoiding Cora's eyes. She looked sideways towards her mother and then sighed, finally looking up. Her expression was slightly panicked and Cora felt herself sit up straighter, on alert for what Rosamund was obviously working up the courage to say. Rosamund opened her mouth to speak but Violet held up her hand, silencing her daughter.
"Cora. We do have something to tell you. And it may come as a shock so I want you to prepare yourself." Violet stated.
Cora put down her teacup and folded her hands in her lap. "Go on."
Violet sighed. "Edith went to Rosamund with a….situation...last year. After considering the different options available to her, she decided to go to Switzerland until the situation was...resolved."
Cora felt her stomach twist and her heart race at what she was inferring from Violet's words. The women were silent and Violet's face was unreadable. Cora took a few deep breaths, hoping it would calm her before speaking.
"So Edith has a...child in Switzerland somewhere? Am I understanding this correctly?"
"Well, that is the thing that has brought us here today. The child was there but then Edith devised some scheme and brought the child here. Against my advice."
Cora clenched her jaw and stood. "How long have you known? You said she went to Rosamund initially. How long have YOU known?"
Violet sat back and squared her shoulders at the tone of Cora's voice. "I got it out of her after they announced the plans for their trip. It was fishy from the start."
Cora nodded and then turned to Mr. Spratt. "If you wouldn't mind fetching my coat please?" And she walked towards the door.
"Now Cora…" Violet wasn't able to finish her sentence before Cora spun around, her eyes bulging in anger.
"How could you not tell me this!" She cried. "You have perpetuated a lie for over a year now. To my face. I am her mother!"
"
Listen here, Cora…" Violet was cut off again.
"No, you listen!" Cora shouted. Rosamund paled, never having heard Cora speak anyway but gently. "What does it take for you, Violet? Really? Am I still that much of an outsider to you? After over thirty years of marriage to your son? After raising three of your grandchildren and burying two of them? After giving over everything I have and leaving everything behind? Fine, you don't like me. That's no great revelation. But I thought I had paid my dues to this family by now. Evidently not."
Cora was breathing hard after her outburst and she wiped angrily at the the tears falling down her cheeks. The room was silent as she took her coat from Mr. Spratt and she went for the door.
"Cora, let me get the car at least." Rosamund pleaded.
"I'll walk, thank you." Cora said coldly and left Violet and Rosamund staring at her back as she exited the room.
"Well, that went well." Rosamund said quietly.
"Oh dear, Rosamund. " Violet said shakily. Rosamund looked at her mother, surprised to see how upset she looked at Cora's words.
"She's just shocked and angry now, Mama. It'll blow over. Cora's not one to hold a grudge. You know that. She's hurt now but it will pass."
Violet turned and looked out the window. It was rare that she regretted anything but now, seeing Cora's reaction and hearing her words, she regretted not insisting they tell Cora from the beginning. She had not meant to hurt her daughter in law with her silence.
The rain began halfway through the walk back. Cora looked up to the sky that opened up above her and wondered how the afternoon could get any bleaker. She wrapped her coat around herself tighter, although it was a useless gesture as she was soaked in a matter of minutes. Her fury had fired her steps but she still had a half mile to go before reaching the doors of Downton. Cora kept replaying everything in her mind. She could not grasp the subterfuge and lengths that Edith had gone through to get to this point. She was angry at herself for pushing away the suspicions she had when Edith and Rosamund had first spoke of their trip. Even then it had a ring of untruth to it but she had chosen to see the situation as she had been led to see it.
The sound of a car on the path behind her interrupted her thoughts. She walked faster, convinced it would be Rosamund coming to fetch her. The car slowed down beside her and she refused to turn to it.
"Mama!" Mary's voice shouted to her over the rain. Cora stopped and turned to see her eldest daughter looking at her, horrified, and Cora could only imagine what she looked like, her hat and coat soaked and clinging to her.
"Get in here right now!" Mary opened the door and Cora climbed in, grateful to finally get out of the rain. She then noticed Lord Gillingham sitting opposite Mary and felt her face flush with embarrassment.
"Lady Grantham." He said, tipping his hat to her.
"More like Lady Drowned Rat…" Cora replied attempting to laugh.
"Here, take this." Lord Gillingham went to take off his over coat.
"Thank you, but don't you dare." Cora said with a kind smile. "I do not want you ruining your coat, and we are almost at the house."
"At least take this. The water is running off your hat and into your face." Mary handed her a handkerchief and she took it, wiping away the traces of rain.
The car stopped at the front doors of Downton and Lord Gillingham hopped out first, producing an umbrella and waiting for the ladies. Mary caught Cora's hand and stopped her briefly.
"What happened? You've been crying?" Mary stared at her with concern.
Cora patted her daughter's hand. "It's nothing. I'm perfectly fine dear. But it is a good thing you came along when you did."
"I'd say. You're frozen to the bone. You better get in quick and change before Papa sees what's happened." Mary smiled at her mother and released her so that Tony could accompany her inside.
"My Lady!" Carson gasped as he took in the sight of her approaching the door. Cora touched his arm briefly in reassurance.
"I seem to have gotten caught in the rain Carson. I wonder if you might send someone up to my room to start a fire? And could you send Baxter as well?"
"Of course, right away." Carson strode purposefully toward the servants area.
"If you'll excuse me, I'll be upstairs." Cora said to Mary and Lord Gillingham as they entered the house. Not waiting for a reply, she turned and climbed the staircase. Edith exited her room just as Cora stepped on the gallery. Seeing her mother she stopped in her tracks, her mouth forming an 'o'.
"What happened?" Edith asked.
"I was caught in the rain. Obviously." Cora replied tersely. She turned to go to her room but she could not stop herself from addressing what had been on her mind since leaving the Dowager House. All of it needed to come out. She spun back around. Edith was still standing there.
"I had an interesting tea with your grandmother and aunt."
Edith's jaw slackened at Cora's words and her face lost its color. She gripped the banister. "Oh?" her voice cracked slightly. Edith knew what was coming. They had warned her that they felt the time had come to include Cora on what had happened, especially in light of the revelations about Michael. Edith felt cowardly for not telling Cora herself but was grateful when Violet had suggested she and Rosamund do it. They thought it might soften the blow. According to the look on her mother's face however, it had done just the opposite.
"Please don't insult my intelligence any more by acting surprised. I'm sure they didn't harbor your secret all this time only to betray you and tell me without you knowing they would."
"Mama, I never meant to…"
Cora held up a hand to stop her daughter. "Have I been that much of a failure to you that you didn't think you could come to me with this? With all of it?"
Edith looked away from the naked hurt in Cora's eyes. She sighed, knowing she would not be able to explain herself adequately. She looked up again and met her mother's gaze.
"You've been a good mother. Really. I just...was scared I suppose. And I didn't know what to do and then aunt Rosamund came up with the plan to go to Switzerland just as I decided I would tell you and then there was a way for me to not tell you and so I didn't. I didn't want you to be ashamed of me." Edith whispered.
Cora tilted her head to the side and the hurt was replaced with sadness for her daughter. "I wouldn't have been. I am not." Cora went to Edith and pulled her into her embrace. Edith clung to her mother and sobbed, finally freeing herself of all of her secrets and burdens. Cora made soothing noises and rubbed her back as she continued to cry on her mother's shoulder. After a few moments Edith was able to collect herself and could feel the trembles running through her mother's embrace.
"Mama you need to get out of those wet clothes this instant." Edith scolded around her lingering sniffles. Cora's eyes were rimmed red and caused fresh tears to spring in Edith's. She was sorry to be the cause of so much turmoil.
"You are probably right. But we will talk about this more." Cora gave her daughter's arm one last squeeze before turning toward her room. After taking a few steps, Cora looked back at Edith. "This is all though, right? There isn't anything else that you are hiding?"
"She's here." Edith said quietly.
Cora smiled softly. "I figured. I've watched you make several trips to the Drewes in the last few months. I didn't think that you had suddenly developed an interest in farming. When I learned about the baby, I put that one together on my own."
Edith nodded. "Will you tell Papa?"
Cora closed her eyes briefly and then looked at Edith. "You know that I have to. He'll take it badly at first. Be prepared. But then he'll come around. He always does when it comes to his girls."
As Cora predicted, Robert did not take the news well. She had waited until after dinner and they were both about to go to bed. Sure that the entire house could hear his unhappiness, she tried to placate him with little effect. Out of fury he went to sleep in his dressing room, not out of anger at Cora, but so that his bouts of temper wouldn't keep her up. Of course, she remained awake anyway, worrying her lip in between her teeth and wondering when Robert's anger would blow over. She also wondered if he would let the girl live in Downton. They were her family. It wasn't the child's fault how she came into the world. Cora wanted her with them, growing along side George and Sybbie. Not stuck at some pig farm. But she also knew they needed to act soon before the Drewes became too attached and she to them. The poor babe couldn't continue to be passed from place to place like a ping pong ball. Now all that was left was to get Robert to see things her way. She was sure Edith would want this for the girl.
After tossing around most of the night, Cora was just falling into a light sleep when she heard the door between the bedroom and Robert's dressing room open. She turned toward it and saw his shadowy silhouette enter the room.
"I was trying not to wake you." Robert said quietly.
Cora sighed. "I've been awake. I couldn't sleep."
Robert took off his dressing robe and climbed into bed, pulling her to him and stroking her shoulder.
"What are we going to do about this?" Robert asked calmly.
"Robert, I think the child should live here. With her family. With her mother."
"What will happen to Edith's future, with a child out of wedlock, if Michael changes his mind about their situation?"
"I think she will be okay, Robert. She's a smart young woman. I don't think marrying a member of the peerage and running a house like Downton would make her happy so hopefully she will find an open minded young man out there who will make her happy and accept her child. If Michael disappears into the woodwork."
Robert was silent and Cora took that as a good sign. He let out a large sigh. "Why am I constantly surprised when things do not go according to how I planned them out? You would think I'd be used to it by this point."
Cora chuckled softly. "What's the saying? 'We make plans and God laughs'"
"Well, he must be having a jolly good time at my expense! And how in the world are you taking this in so easily? You're not that American!"
Cora playfully hit Robert on his chest. "I'm not taking it in easily. But one thing I will say for your mother's betrayal is that it shifted all of the emotion I may have felt towards Edith's actions to her. By the time I talked to Edith, I was spent."
"I don't think she did it out of malice towards you, dear." Robert said gently, knowing how deep the cut that Violet made was.
Cora chose her words carefully before speaking. "Maybe not intentionally, no. But it is one example in a long lifetime of incidences where she shows exactly what use she has for me. Which is none."
"If there's one regret I have in our marriage, it's that you've been made to feel that way. She would have sent a weaker woman running years ago."
Cora leaned up and looked at Robert. "Don't regret anything." She kissed him gently and then settled back down, exhaustion finally pulling her into sleep.
Even though Edith wanted her child with her, she protested at first when Cora brought up Lily living at Downton. She too was afraid of what the stigma would be to openly admit that this was her child, born out of wedlock. But her worry wasn't as great as her need to mother the girl and Cora's blessing was enough to tip the scales. Robert was grudgingly silent on the matter and Edith tread carefully around her father. He was acquiescing to the wishes of his wife, Edith knew this, and she wasn't going to push him. Mr Drewe was understanding and Edith left it to him to explain everything to his wife.
When Lily arrived at Downton, there was little question as to who she belonged to. She had her mother's fair skin and hair. But it was her eyes that almost immediately gave her away. They were the same startling blue as Cora's. No explanation was given to the staff and after seeing the child, none was needed.
With the small drama of Lily's appearance over, everyone turned toward the Christmas preparations. Even though Robert had insisted he would take care of everything, Cora gladly took over what she could. It took her mind off of the lingering tension between herself and her in-laws. Luckily, her dealings with Rosamund were usually sparse but Violet was another matter. She couldn't keep her out of Downton but Cora made it clear in her polite yet monosyllabic dialogue with Violet that she had not come to a place of forgiveness yet. The tension that strummed through Downton like an unwanted guest would only amplify, Cora was sure, when her mother arrived.
Cora was sitting in the shed per her usual afternoon routine. The day was the chilliest so far that winter and the mound of blankets just barely kept her from shivering. She saw a figure walking toward her in the distance. As it got closer, she realized it was Mary. Cora smiled as her daughter walked in the door, rubbing her hands together.
"It's freezing out there!" Mary declared before sitting in the only other chair.
"It is! Why have you come out in it?"
"I wanted to check in on you. Now that grandmama has blown in from New York I wonder if this was such a good idea. Considering that you still need to be resting and worrying about yourself, not if she is happy with the food. Or with life in general here. And I won't even start on how nerve-wracking her and granny can be in the same room."
"Mary, you shouldn't worry so much. I'm fine." Cora said reassuringly.
"Really Mama? Are you? It's been a trying few weeks, with Ediths...revelation and the baby coming to Downton and the business between you and granny and having all of these guests….I think Papa regrets setting all of this into motion."
"Don't be silly. Either of you. I'm enjoying myself. And the staff is doing most of the work. I won't lie, referring your grandmothers is a tiring job and it puts my stomach on edge each time one of them opens their mouths, but they are old and it's only for a few days so…"
Cora leaned back and closed her eyes. Her fatigue had come back like a boomerang and she wondered if maybe she hadn't been pushing herself too much.
"I almost hate to mention this…" Mary hesitated, not wanting to create any more work for her clearly overtaxed mother. But she knew the instant her secret was out, Cora would be making plans.
Cora opened one eye and squinted at Mary. "What? Actually, I'm almost afraid to ask now a days."
Mary smiled indulgently and patted her mother's arm. "Don't worry. I'm not running off with a married, jazz singer or anything. However, Tony Gillingham has been making himself rather available lately and last night I told him that I wanted to rescind my original denial of his proposal."
Both of Cora's eyes opened wide and she sat up as though catapulted. She grabbed Mary's hands. "Really?! Oh darling. What did he say?"
Mary laughed at the joy on Cora's face. She knew one way to brighten her mother's day was to come bearing news of romance.
"He said that he then would repeat the question."
"And…" Cora asked excitedly.
"And so we are engaged."
"Marvelous!" Cora practically bounced in her seat and took Mary into an affectionate embrace. Mary hugged her mother tightly back. Cora pulled away and held her at arms length. "We must turn the Christmas day festivities into a joint engagement party."
Mary shook her head. "No, see this is why I hesitated. That will be a huge undertaking, and so late. I really don't want to see you wasting your energy on this. A better gift will be for you to get completely well enough to thoroughly enjoy our wedding. Please."
Cora's eyes welled up at her daughter's sincere words. "Mary, you have grown into such a wonderful person. You do know that don't you?"
Mary looked away from her mother, embarrassed by the compliment and not wanting to show just how much her mother's words meant to her. After a brief moment she looked back up with her usual calm face.
"Well, some may beg to differ, but I shall take your word for it."
"Send those differing ones to me and I'll give them a piece of my mind" Cora said, twisting her face into a stern scowl causing Mary to smirk.
"So have you thought about a date?" Cora asked, turning the conversation to safe waters, knowing how much her earlier display of emotion had made her stoic, English daughter uncomfortable.
"Not really." Mary shook her head. " I think that we are still figuring everything out. But you'll be the third to know after we settle on one." Mary stood and looked around her.
"Would you like me to send the car to fetch you in a little while? It really is blustery out there."
"No, maybe just ask your father if he'd care to walk me back." A wave of fatigue and nausea hit Cora again and she swallowed hard.
"On second thought. Yes, please do." Cora closed her eyes and added. "You must at least have Tony here for Christmas so that the family can celebrate this good news."
"I will ask him." Mary said, leaning down to place a soft kiss on her mother's brow before leaving her to rest.
Christmas was a whirlwind of activity. Sybbie's shrieks could be heard throughout the gallery as she clamored out of the nursery before the sun had come up. She had to be corralled by Cora back into the nursery and instructed to not come out until the sun came up. Once the sun had peaked over the horizon, Sybbie again bounded out of the nursery, waking everyone including the babies, causing a cacophony of crying.
Half way through the morning, the children lay in heap in the library, sleeping on wrapping paper and clutching their latest treasures. Cora lay her head on Robert's shoulder, barely able to keep her eyes open. From the looks of the sleep deprived faces around her, she wasn't the only exhausted one.
"My dear, are you sure that your Dr Richards doesn't think you'd be better faster in a sanitorium? There is a wonderful one in the Adirondacks. You'd be close to home again." Martha started up the same campaign she had begun the night before. Cora groaned softly.
"Mother, I am home." Cora replied tiredly.
"I just think you would do better with some clean mountain air and how can you really rest outside of the hospital. I'm sorry, I worry."
Martha looked her daughter over with a shrewd eye. They had told her on her arrival that Cora was getting better but she had her doubts, no matter what the doctors had said. A mother knew their children and Cora looked as ill as she'd ever seen her. In her opinion they were gambling with her health.
"I just want to make sure that we are doing everything we can to get you well. That you are getting the best care" Martha said.
"Well, of course we are. Cora doesn't want to go away." Violet chimed in, not able to keep quiet any longer and not liking the implications of Martha's words.
Martha turned to the other woman and raised one eyebrow. "I thought you would be the first to get a list of all of New York's sanitariums. Finally, after thirty years, was your chance to be rid of the American interloper properly. And without scandal."
All of the chatter in the room ceased, waiting for the eruption of the tempers that were clearly boiling with ancient animosity. No one dared make a move.
"On that note, I think I will go upstairs to rest before the festivities tonight. One forgets how long and tiring Christmas can be when young children are involved." Cora declared in a shaky voice. Robert, still looking stunned at what had just occurred, got up automatically and followed her.
"Well, nothing says merry Christmas like awkward tension." Mary muttered.
