The countdown to Big Bang's release of their new album was less than a week away. The boys were hard at work with their preparations, and their manager had started booking many promotional events for them to participate in. Today was their first official promotional event. They were performing their title track on a music show, for the very first time. When I had arrived through the backdoor earlier, it was absolutely chaotic trying to squeeze through the mob of fans outside. I hadn't realized what Seung Ri meant when he said they had a cult following until I saw it with my own eyes. Fan girls, fan boys... there is no sex discrimination when it comes to loving Big Bang.
As this was their first promotional event, the boys looked nervous yet excited. I was sitting next to Seung Ri in the dressing room, watching him being fitted with his outfit. Compared to the last time when he had tried on the clothes during Ji Yong's birthday, the strenuous practice and preparations must have taken a hard hit. He had probably lost about ten pounds within the past month, so the pants were very loose and the dress shirt looked baggy on his small frame.
"Seung Ri, have you gone on a diet?" Saori muttered. She was rummaging around in a bag, trying to find some safety pins and a belt as a temporary fix.
"No nuna! I've been eating normally, if not even twice as much because Ji Yong hyung has been making us practice so much!" His expression was so innocent and honest, I couldn't help but pinch his cheeks.
"What the hell man? Why does maknae have midnight snacks almost every night, and still lose weight... but I've been eating fruits for the past month and only lost two friggin' pounds?" TOP pouted.
I could feel his burden. Sometimes I hate it too when there are skinny people that have such a high metabolism.
Their manager suddenly came into the room. "Sound check in 10 minutes!"
The majority were already prepared with their make-up and outfits. The concept this time around was a more mature look; everything was dark and mysterious. YG must have told Saori to cause heart attacks for some of those fan girls; the boys had a deep and effective aura of sexiness. The only questionable fact… Ji Yong was the single one wearing a pair of tight leather pants. However, I'm pretty sure he's the only one who could ever pull that off. While thinking of this, I looked into the lighted make-up mirror. He scared me when I saw him staring straight in my direction. I was caught off guard, so I quickly turned back to Seung Ri's situation.
"There that should do it. Try not to dance too hard or you might expose yourself on national television," Saori teased. I'm sure many fangirls would just love that.
"Nuna!" Seung Ri blushed like a little boy.
Tae Yang passed by in that split second to grab a water bottle off the make-up table. As Seung Ri and Saori were both in the way, the former was smart enough to move aside, while the latter froze in place. Tae Yang's a slick guy. He squeezed past Saori, but not before I caught the action of his hand lingering on her waist for an extra second. Ooh you sneaky bastard you.
I gave an incredulous look to her as she blushed. The others must be extremely busy to be ignorant of the new found couple. Everything to me was so very obvious.
"I'm going to head to the restroom. Do you want to come along?" I asked.
Saori shook her head. "I can't. I have less than five minutes to find the rest of this shirt for Dae Sung," she said in exasperation.
At the mention of his name, my head turns towards him who was waiting patiently wearing black trousers and a shiny piece of dark material flapped over his shoulder. I wasn't sure of the whole concept for this shirt. Was it supposed to be some sort of jigsaw design? I'll assume it's supposed to be a few layers of the shiny material put together that would create one whole shirt. But as of right now, Dae Sung was only wearing less than a third of what his shirt should entail. Sometimes… I still don't understand the complication of fashion.
"Okay, I hope you find the rest of it before he has to go on air looking like that," I said with a laugh.
I left the dressing room, and walked down a long corridor to where the restroom was located. After doing my business, I washed my hands in the sink and then a bathroom attendant promptly handed me a towel to dry off my hands. I gave a slight bow to thank her politely, and proceeded to look into the mirror. Crap, why didn't Saori or the boys notify me that the stupid cold weather gave me static hair? I was shocked to see that my long hair was sticking up all over the place. As I tried to calm down my electric locks, I noticed two girls to the right of me. They seemed to be in a serious discussion. The shorter, chubby girl was consoling her taller, much prettier friend that was crying.
"Yoo Jin… you seriously need to step up your game."
"*sniff* I know… i-it's just… s-so hard to get him to listen to me… *sniff*sniff."
The girl was crying pretty hard as her friend was handing her tissues to blow her nose and wipe her running mascara. Noticing that I was staring in their direction, chubby friend glared at me, a sure sign for me to mind my own business.
I turned away and continued in my attempt to fix the mess of my hair.
"Stop crying Yoo Jin. He's not over you yet… you just have to be more persistent that you want him back."
"*sniff* I can't go through this anymore. Ji Yong already made it clear over the phone calls… he doesn't even want to see me."
At the sound of his name my ears perked up. Could it be the same Ji Yong I know? Actually that is a pretty common name…
"That's why we're here. Do you know how hard it was to persuade my uncle to give me those tickets so we can get into the studio? Don't mess this up because it's your only chance. Big Bang is performing last, so we'll meet them back in their dressing room when their performance is over."
Okay, so maybe it is the Ji Yong I know.
I was confused at the situation so I just had to ask. "Uh… who's Yoo Jin?"
The others looked at me hesitantly before Tae Yang finally answered.
"She's Ji Yong's former girlfriend."
"Do you want him back?"
"*sniff*… *sniff*"
"Do you want him back?" the chubby girl asked again more sternly.
"I want him back," the pretty girl nodded.
By now the two were discussing in a much quieter voice so I couldn't eavesdrop on their conversation anymore. They briskly left when the pretty girl finally regained her composure after applying some make-up. As I stared after them, I couldn't help but feel a little agitated that Ji Yong's ex-girlfriend was back in the picture.
Wait… why should I care? Stop clenching you stupid heart!
"Ahjumma, do you think my hair looks alright?" I asked the bathroom attendant after giving up on fixing my problem.
The old woman lightly patted my cheek and gave me a reassuring smile. "Pretty girl you are."
I smiled at her and then walked back to the dressing room.
There was no time to think about what happened earlier at the bathroom. Craziness ensued when the show officially started. managers and assistants yelled around as I tried to do my work. After taking some brief photographs of Big Bang's preparations in the waiting room, YG gave permission for Saori and I to enjoy the show when there were only two performances left.
We snuck into the seating area where the fans of each respective group they supported were clustered together. We recognized Big Bang's fans sitting in the front, waving their white bandanas, and luckily found two seats that were close to the stage. During the procession of the show, I wasn't really sure of what to do with my hands. Saori was no help whatsoever because she was happily bouncing around in her seat, totally getting into her fan girl mode. I didn't recognize any of the performers that were on stage, so I did the only thing I could possibly think of.
Scream along so I could blend in with all of the other girls?
What do you take me for?
"OPPAAA! AHHHHHH!" A fan sitting next to me screamed her lungs out. I was mesmerized that such a petite girl could have the strength of a voice within her.
"I LOVE YOU! OPPAAA!" Rabid fan girls all around me began to shout out in unison.
I was getting annoyed at the excessive screaming, and wasn't sure how much longer I could withstand this torture from the scream squad. I tried to catch Saori's attention, but she was too busy enjoying the performance. Finally, after a minute or two of staring at the flashing light fixtures that were in sync to the beat of the music… I chanced a glance up and there he was, Kwon Ji Yong, standing in his greatest glory for all to see. By glory, I mean he was basking in his own sweat, being ridiculously shiny and all that good stuff from the reflection of the aforementioned light fixtures. And really... this boy can sweat. My attention turned towards the other members, but they weren't perspiring half as much as Ji Yong. Did he just have some major perspiration disorder?
In a mere second, I was over the fact that Ji Yong was drenched in his own moisture, although this situation could possibly have fan girls feeling hot all over. I started listening to the music just like everyone else, and it's really good. I remembered the particular song from their dance practice, which they had practiced over and over in order to get the entire choreography perfect.
"Oh-my-god-Ha-na," I heard Saori squeal out between breaths. "He is so beautiful."
"He is not," I replied back. But I'm lying, he really is…
"Yes he is," Saori only sighed.
"Wait, who are you talking about?" I asked in a state of confusion.
"Tae Yang."
"Oh."
Ji Yong just has this indescribable charismatic charm when he's on stage. He can go through so many emotions at once, there could possibly be a switch somewhere inside of him, and it's controlled by the mood of each song. Even just the small act of him grinning and running had all of the fan girls' hearts racing uncontrollably. If you were lucky, he would grab your hand in the audience, and only grinned wider if you followed all fangirl etiquette's. You know, scream like a banshee and then faint on the spot or something? I had to say... he was looking good tonight. It was another one of the ridiculous outfits he seems to create from his innovative ideas, minus the dead animal hat this time around. But it wasn't too bad... it could be worse. There aren't a lot of guys that can pull off this look, so I guess Ji Yong is an exception because he's... unique? Or maybe like I said before... he just has that charisma that draws you in.
I was starting to enjoy the situation, because none of the boys actually knew Saori and I were put into the audience. I was just sitting there, observing him from a whole new aspect. I've suffered through the moments where he is proud and arrogant, but even I had to admit Ji Yong has talent. Along with his members, it's a given they love performing and music is what they're passionate about. We made eye contact when Ji Yong suddenly turned his direction towards the area that Saori and I were sitting at. He gave a look of shock as he stared directly at me. Of course I didn't know how to respond. Giving any sort of reaction would not only seem stupid, but ridiculous considering I had a dozen screaming fan girls within my surroundings.
I acted like nothing was wrong, and tried to find a suitable place to turn my attention towards. Hm, Seung Ri will do… he's cute enough. But staring at the youngest didn't fare too long. Before I knew it, Saori was already squeezing one of my hands really tight and pointing with a grin. I knew he was standing right in front of me. I tried my best to act indifferent, and looked up at his face. He surprised me when he bent down and reached his hand towards the audience. At that quick moment, the pack of crazy and deranged fans from either side of Saori and I latched onto him hungrily.
Kwon Ji Yong was smirking at me, and I enjoyed it.
Oh stupid heart, please stop racing uncontrollably.
The show was now over. Saori grabbed my hand and we ran backstage to meet the boys before they came off the platform. Their personal assistants were armed with water bottles and white towels in hand. As each of the members stepped off stage, they were promptly handed something to drink and doted on by their posse.
"You guys did a great job," Saori said, not one to be absent in giving encouraging words.
"Nuna! It was incredible… I didn't realize how much I missed the stage until now." Seung Ri was bouncing around while trying to walk at the same time.
We were heading down the long corridor back towards the dressing room. With the flashes of reporter's cameras going off and the screams of fan girls standing on the side, it was a crazy and tight squeeze. I felt two warm hands on the back of my shoulders, but there was no time to look back as the person was pushing me forward, a sign for me to hurry the hell up.
"Move out of the way, out of the way!" I could hear Manager Choi shout out. He was the leader of the pack, and also pretty ruthless, as any arms that came out trying to touch the boys were callously slapped.
The craziness ended when we were all safely back in the confines of the dressing room.
"Your fans are nuts," I said in exhaustion.
"Oh nuna, you'll get used to it after awhile…. just say to yourself 'They love me… they really love me!' and you'll get over it," Dae Sung reassured himself.
I laughed at the silly boy's awkwardness.
The first thing on everyone's mind was to get out of their hot and sweaty performance clothes. Saori was running around trying to find extra clothes for them to change into, so I tried to help her out since I had nothing to do. In the midst of all that was happening, no one seemed to notice the two girls that were sitting on the couch in the back of the room.
"It's been awhile, Kwon Ji Yong."
I recognized that voice. It was the chubby girl from the earlier incident in the bathroom. The chatter stopped as all eyes turned towards the direction of where the voice came from.
"Lee Soo Mi! When the hell did you get back?" TOP asked with a menacing glare. He usually tries to play off a cool expression, but at this moment, this was the first time I had seen such hatred in his eyes.
"That's none of your business Choi Seung Hyun. Ji Yong… can we talk to you in private?"
I tried to read the expression on Ji Yong's face, but it was kind of difficult. He silently nodded and motioned for the two girls to follow him outside.
"How did they get in here?" Seung Ri cried out. He was also just as pissed off as TOP was.
"She must've gotten the connections from her uncle at SM Entertainment," Tae Yang answered.
"This is so annoying. Seeing Lee Soo Mi's presence is so annoying! I bet you this whole scheme for Yoo Jin to get back together with Ji Yong is all her doing!" TOP yelled out.
"Calm down oppa…" I patted his shoulder and handed him a bottle of water.
"You don't know, Hana. That girl is the epitome of evil. I'm sure she played a part in why Yoo Jin chose to leave for overseas a few years ago. She is almost mind-controlled by that fat tub of lard."
"It's not nice calling someone a fat tub of lard," Tae Yang reasoned.
"I'm sorry! I have nothing against fat people because I was once overweight too. But damn, Lee Soo Mi should just fly back to America and eat more cheeseburgers and fries!"
"Hyung! Eat some fruits. It'll calm you down…" Dae Sung offered a box of strawberries to the angry man.
As TOP was slowly brought back to his normal composure by the natural sugar of carbohydrates, the mood was a bit uplifted when he started telling some corny gag jokes.
"Hana, can you please hold on to this for a moment?" Saori suddenly handed me the sweaty clothes the boys were wearing earlier.
"Uh… sure."
Saori tried to reach on the top shelf for something in a big box. She was quite short, even with the height adjustment of a few inches in heels. She struggled a bit while I told her to be careful. The box suddenly fell, almost toppling over her head…
… but of course, not before Spiderman Tae Yang came to save the day.
As if it was in slow motion, and it sounds cliché, but the two lovebirds just happened to be in that really romantic sort of pose. Gone with the Wind much? The act was on display for everyone to see, and it was almost as if time stopped because it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
"Hyung! What are you doing to nuna?" Seung Ri ruined the quietness.
Saori broke off the spell she was under and stood up on her own. Tae Yang coughed out in surprise.
"U-um… that was nothing," he stuttered.
I rolled my eyes. "Oh stop with the act already guys."
Dae Sung, Seung Ri, and TOP all looked at me as if I was crazy. At the same time, Tae Yang and Saori were giving me looks of desperation as to not reveal the secret.
"They've been going out since before Chuseok. You guys were just too blind to see it all."
"WHAAATTT?" all three members yelled out at the same time.
Seung Ri walked up to the both of them, a look of bewilderment on his baby-face.
"You…" he pointed at Tae Yang. "And you nuna…" he looked at each of them back and forth as if he didn't know what to believe. The two protagonists were both cringing, absolutely prepared to brave for the worst.
"Oh my god, I'm so happy for you guys!" He caught them by surprise, capturing them both into a big hug by the shoulders.
"Yay! Love is in the air…" Dae Sung started prancing and singing.
"Damn boy, I knew you had it in you. You make me proud," TOP smiled gleefully and patted Tae Yang on the back while giving one of those 'you did good' man signals.
"Hana…" Saori whined while blushing madly along with Tae Yang.
"Oh shut up. It's better off this way… just promise me not to show too much PDA!"
The comment only caused them to feel even more embarrassed.
Ji Yong returned the stare. He locked eyes with Yoo Jin and didn't even blink once, as she did. He tried to look as indescribable as he always wanted to feel whenever she was mentioned, but that usually came off as anger. Either way, he didn't want her to know how she still affected him after all this time. He walked away from her, as he knew it would be stupid if he looked back at anything.
"Oppa!"
He stopped and closed his eyes. The memories always remained on his mind, but sometimes… maybe it's just not worth it to look back and dwell on the past. It was over when she said it was over. She was one of those things he decided he would not dwell on anymore. He wanted nothing to do with her, but it was difficult to forget her. Especially not now… when she was once again back.
"Oppa… can't you forgive me for what happened in the past?"
As Tae Yang and Saori were in the dressing room celebrating their recent confession of love, I offered to bring the sweaty clothes to Big Bang's personal assistants in the other waiting room.
By now, the corridor that we had previously walked through was quiet and empty, so all of the fans had probably gone home. I was about to turn around the corner, when I suddenly recognized Ji Yong's voice and some familiar stifled cries. Stopping in my tracks, I put my back against the wall. I couldn't help but to eavesdrop on their conversation on the other side.
"Oppa… can't you forgive me for what happened in the past?"
"Yoo Jin. You were the one who wanted to end it. I was hurt and have moved on with my life… why can't you do the same?"
"I still love you so much *sniff*…" Yoo Jin was only crying harder as her sobs came out along with hiccups.
I felt Ji Yong's frustration as he sighed very loudly.
"Yah, Kwon Ji Yong… are you just going to let a girl cry like this in your presence?" fat tub of lard (sorry!) growled out.
"Stay out of this Soo Mi."
"*sniff* Is it because of another girl?" The quiver in Yoo Jin's voice was beginning to make me pity her.
"N-no…. I mean… yes…" Ji Yong answered slowly. Wait there is? "Yes, there is someone else," he reaffirmed.
"You're lying!" Soo Mi accused.
"Yoo Jin, let's just forget about the past and move on. I'm tired of your calls, and I can't concentrate on my work. It's not because I don't care about you, but I just don't have those feelings anymore. Please accept that as the truth."
"Oppa, please don't tell me you already have someone else... I was foolish for letting you go, but can't we just start over?"
At that moment, a fly was buzzing near my nose. Get out of here, I thought to it while trying to balance the load of clothes in my arms, and also shoo the bugger away. My nose began to tickle and before I could sustain the urge, I let out a loud sneeze.
"Who's there?" Soo Mi jumped out from the corner, scaring the crap out of me.
"Ahhh… ummm… hehe… hello there," I tried to play it off like I just happened to pass by.
"Who are you?" Yoo Jin asked in confusion.
"I'm Ka—"
"She…" Ji Yong grabbed me roughly by the shoulders. "- is my girlfriend!" He wrapped his arm around me in a headlock before I could protest. I looked up at him with shocked eyes but he only smiled at me with gritted teeth.
"Y-your…. g-girlfriend?" Yoo Jin's eyes clouded over with big drops of tears that were about to fall.
I couldn't move and I didn't know what to say. My heart stopped for a few seconds, and I couldn't blink or breathe. I was torn between the desperate look Ji Yong was giving me, and the pity that I felt for Yoo Jin's sorrow. Oh and don't forget, fat tub of lard was also shooting me daggers from her fuming eyes.
