All right, guys. Here is a long chapter (the longest that I've ever written).
Big thank-yous go out to cp6, wrong. perfection, and LizaGirl for reviewing my story! You guys made me smile. Oh, and LizaGirl, Lauren will be redeemed (you're right, she's not always evil)! I wouldn't have made her so obnoxious otherwise. But, just for you, I've begun that redemption a little early :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Maddy.
Chapter 7: Q & A
There are days when you are just simply cursed from the moment you wake up. Days when it's safer and more productive to just stay in bed reading a book or listening to some music.
Unfortunately, you can't know when those days will be. They just sort of surprise you, jumping out at you when it's least convenient and always in such a way to maximize your embarrassment when things go wrong.
If Maddy had known that morning that today would be one of those days, she would have wrapped herself in bubble wrap and barricaded herself in her bedroom. But, of course, she was not omniscient and it had been too long since she had been screwed by the universe.
She was due.
It began harmlessly enough, starting with the failure of her alarm clock to wake her and so Maddy scrambled out of bed an hour later than she had intended. In her rush to towel dry and hop out of the shower, she slipped on the wet tile, catching her foot on the edge of the tub, and managed fortunately to catch herself from completely wiping out on the bathroom floor. Unfortunately, she had instead lightly cracked her head against the corner of the bathroom counter, resulting in a shallow gash on her forehead.
Thirty minutes and a rather large, unattractive band-aid later, Maddy was on her way to the gym, driving slightly faster than the speed limit allowed. Being one of those days, it was not long before Maddy saw the blue lights flashing in her rear view mirror and as she pulled over, she reached into the glove box for her registration. Exhaling exasperatedly, she rubbed her face roughly with her hands and forced herself to remain calm when the piece of paper proved elusive.
Hearing a tap on her window, Maddy jumped and turned her attention to the cop at her side. Rolling the window down quickly, Maddy smiled contritely, removed her sunglasses, and said, "Hello, Officer."
The officer grimaced in response and asked, "Are you okay, ma'am?"
Frowning confusedly, Maddy answered, "Yes, I'm fine. H-How are you?"
The cop frowned and looked at the ground. "Ma'am," he began hesitantly, "This may seem forward, but…may I ask how you received the black eye?"
"The what now?" Maddy exclaimed as she quickly pulled down the visor, groaning loudly when she saw that she did, indeed, have the beginnings of a brilliant black eye. Turning back to the cop, she smiled embarrassedly and confessed, "I tripped this morning."
Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, the cop continued, "Ma'am, if you are having problems at home—"
As Maddy realized that the cop thought that she was being abused, she quickly inserted, "Oh god, no! I assure you, Officer, this," she gestured to her battered face, "is totally my own doing."
Seeing that the cop was still skeptical, she explained clearly, "I just moved here a few days ago. Alone. And I'm not seeing anybody."
Finally, the cop seemed convinced that she was not being used as a punching bag, but instead of brushing off the whole "speeding thing", he of course detained her for another twenty minutes as she scrounged for her registration. The only good thing about the encounter was that she received a warning since she was new to town.
And so it was almost two hours later than usual when Maddy managed to turn into her parking space at the Rock, hurriedly grabbing her bag and leaping from the car, and immediately stepped into a wad of gum on the pavement. Sighing, Maddy couldn't help herself as she pitifully laughed at her awful luck, kicking off her poor Chuck and prying it up from the ground. Holding her head high, Maddy brushed her hair over her shoulder and walked into the Rock, wearing one shoe and a band-aid on her forehead and sporting a purple eye as proudly as she could.
Almost as soon as she stepped into the Rock, Sasha turned toward her, exclaiming, "Where were you? We were starting to worry and you weren't answering your phone."
Maddy threw up her arms in frustration, one hand holding her tote bag and the other her gum-encrusted shoe, and bemoaned, "Great. I forgot my phone, too."
She continued heading toward the office, which included walking past Sasha, and she pinpointed the exact moment that he saw her black eye. She was about five feet away from him and his eyes widened as he did a double take, closing the distance between them quickly. Before he could comment however, Maddy held up a finger and warned, "Don't say a word, Belov."
He sighed and shook his head, but then he stepped even closer, raising his hands and gently using his fingers to turn her head to the side as he inspected the growing bruise. His fingers were cool upon her face and Maddy found herself feeling grateful for her clumsiness since it resulted in Sasha gently caressing her cheek.
But that feeling quickly dissipated as Maddy remembered that Sasha was off limits. Castigating herself brutally, Maddy stepped away from Sasha's lanky body and brushed past him, laying a hand upon the banister of the stairs and climbing a few.
She turned back when she heard Sasha speak jokingly, "Are you always this accident prone?"
Laughing, she replied, "Only on Tuesdays."
"One of these days, you're going to kill yourself if you're not careful," Sasha admonished with a smile.
Maddy laughed in agreement, shrugging and replying, "The way things are going, that's probably going to be today."
She proceeded climbing the stairs, freezing when she heard Sasha ask disbelievingly, "Why are you wearing only one shoe?"
Biting the inside of her cheek, Maddy shook her head as she decided not to answer him, instead walking into the office and wishing—not for the last time that day—that she had simply stayed at home.
If she had thought that her morning had been bad, Maddy was wholly unprepared for the level of hell that she would reach that afternoon. It had started shortly after the lunch break, when several of the gymnasts took a reprieve from their practice, and, at first, Maddy tried to ignore it.
She didn't even precisely know what it was, but the gymnasts had begun acting strangely, avoiding her gaze and whispering in huddled groups, stopping short when she approached with guilty looks upon their faces.
What she couldn't ignore, however, was the moment that she saw Sasha, Summer, and Kim doing the same thing since the two women had called him into the office a few minutes earlier. Taking action, Maddy strode toward where Sasha was watching Lauren practice on the beam and stopped next to him, also watching as Lauren moved fluidly back and forth across the apparatus.
Quietly and without looking at him, Maddy asked, "What is going on?"
Also not looking at her, Sasha responded, "What do you mean?"
"What do I mean?" Maddy repeated. "No one will look me in the eye and I get the feeling that people are laughing at me. I mean, I know that I walked in with one shoe this morning and I now have a Beauty and the Beast band-aid on my forehead from one of the kids, but…I thought that we were past that."
Shrugging, Sasha answered, "I'm sure that you're just imagining things." Finally, he turned to look at her and smiled, saying, "The new band-aid is adorable, though."
He turned away from her instantly, his smile fading, and Maddy knew that he was lying. Ignoring all subtlety, she stepped directly in front of him, blocking his view of Lauren and forcing him to meet her gaze. She simply stared at him for several moments and then said quietly, "I'm not stupid."
He sighed, hanging his head, and Maddy heard, "You don't want to know."
Surprised, Maddy spun around abruptly as she realized that the voice she heard was not Sasha's, but Lauren's…and it sounded remotely compassionate.
Confused, Maddy directed her question to the girl who stood on the beam looking down at Maddy with her eyebrows raised in sincerity. "What don't I want to know?" Maddy asked slowly.
Lauren's eyes quickly flicked to Sasha's, but then returned to Maddy's again. "Look," Lauren began as she hopped down from the beam and stood in front of Maddy, "I'll be the first to say that I'm not happy about you coaching here, but the things they're saying are really cruel."
"Cruel?" Maddy repeated, shaking her head. "I don't understand. Who? What things?"
Lauren sighed and jogged over to her duffel bag, retrieving something and then returning to Maddy's side. "Here," she said and offered Maddy her cell phone. "You should see it for yourself."
A knot forming in the pit of her stomach, Maddy fearfully asked in a low voice, "See what?"
Without answering, Lauren reached over and pressed a button on the phone, causing the screen to light up as a video began to play.
The screen faded in from black and revealed a news anchor seated behind a desk featuring the logo of a TV station that Maddy had not heard of before. The anchor neatened some papers as he began to speak, "In sport's news tonight, we bring you some breaking information from the world of gymnastics. Todd Nelson has the story."
The screen switched from the anchor to a young man wearing a gray suit with a blue tie. He was standing outside of a building with gray walls and he stared into the camera as the wind ruffled his light brown hair. "Thank you, Steve," the man apparently named Todd responded. The man shifted and held the microphone closer to his mouth as he continued, "Few fans have been able to forget the disappointing debacle that occurred six years ago at the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens, when the American favorite, Maddy Reynolds, participated in the gymnastics competitions. She had been the United States' National Champion for the previous two years and had also held the title of World Champion for just as long. All of the United States' hopes for gold rested upon her shoulders, but, due to some disappointing mistakes from her teammates, Maddy was only able to procure the silver medal for her team, despite some of her career's best performances.
"It was in the individual competitions that Maddy truly began to shine, taking home three gold medals for bars, beam, and floor, receiving an almost unheard-of perfect score on her final routine."
The view left the sportscaster and changed to footage from the aforementioned Games, showing the moment when Maddy had received the perfect score on her floor routine. As Maddy stood on the mats in the Rock, looking into the tiny screen of the phone, she couldn't stop the tears from pooling in her eyes. Breathing deeply, she forced herself to keep watching.
The man's voice continued talking over the clip, saying, "It was one of the proudest moments of American gymnastics, the flag was flying and the nation's anthem was playing strongly in honor of Ms. Reynolds' achievements, but then the unthinkable happened. The young gymnast disappeared, abandoning her fellow teammates and embarrassing the country that had supported and respected her for her entire career."
The clip changed to one of the podium in the awards assembly and Maddy shook her head. She saw the familiar footage of the Russian and Chinese second and third place finishers looking around curiously as they held their bouquets and wore their medals. The top tier of the podium was, of course, empty as she herself was missing from it.
The focus of the broadcast returned to Todd as he said, "It was the most confusing moment in gymnastics history, possibly in the history of all sports. Maddy Reynolds had achieved her goals, she had done her countrymen proud, but she did not appear to accept her medals or honor her country.
"The questions immediately abounded and the search began for Ms. Reynolds, but to no avail. Maddy had succeeded in falling down the rabbit hole and she was never heard from again." Todd paused dramatically and looked directly into the camera, saying, "Until now."
Maddy felt the first of her tears fall from her eyes, but she did not wipe it from her cheek as she continued to watch in horror. Todd began walking and soon the gray wall behind him disappeared as he reached the corner and Maddy could see the Rock in the background, complete with the banners for Kaylie and Austin on the façade. She moaned as she realized what was coming, but forced herself to listen.
Todd gestured with his hand toward the gym and said, "This is the lovely town of Boulder, Colorado and this gym, the Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Center, currently boasts having three members of the women's National Team, including National Champion Kaylie Cruz." Todd paused dramatically again, and then finished in a deep voice, saying, "But now, as it houses several of America's favorite female athletes, it also employs America's most hated.
"That's right. Just hours ago, the gymnastics world was rocked by the sudden news that Maddy Reynolds has resurfaced and has agreed to start a career in coaching."
Todd disappeared as a new clip took his place, this one from only three days ago. Maddy saw herself emerge from the front doors of the Rock and tell all the reporters that she had taken the assistant coaching position offered by Sasha.
The clip faded and Todd reappeared, saying, "It has only been a few days since Ms. Reynolds returned to gymnastics, but already dissenters are letting their opinions be known."
Next followed a montage of people who had been stopped in the street and asked what they thought of Maddy and her new coaching position. Maddy braced herself for the worst and she was not disappointed.
The first was a middle-aged women with her blonde hair pulled back into a severe ponytail. "Maddy Reynolds is a disgrace to this sport," she said angrily. "She should never have been allowed back into a gym."
The second was a younger man, wearing a pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap, who said, "She should just crawl back under whatever rock she's been hiding under for the past six years and stay there."
The third was an older gentleman who answered, "Before the Olympics, I was proud to say that Maddy Reynolds was the best that the U.S. had to offer. Now I am ashamed that I ever thought those words. This is an outrage."
Another woman said, "Sasha Belov has always been a wild card, but his hiring Maddy Reynolds is taking one step too far. Is she really the sort of person that we want our National Champion to emulate? It is the duty of the National Gymnastics Organization to step in and send her back to wherever she came from before she can contaminate our athletes."
Mercifully, the montage stopped before Maddy began sobbing hysterically as Todd reappeared. "You've heard from outraged fans," Todd began, "but we spoke with someone who knew her on a more basic level, a person with whom she was close and who has the most right to be upset with her: her coach, Timothy Blackwell."
Maddy gasped loudly and almost dropped the phone as her breathing became labored. Again Todd disappeared as a new clip began to play. Her old coach stepped into the frame, looking agitated as he pushed his sunglasses on the top of his head. As soon as he began to speak, Maddy's face went blank and she stopped breathing.
"Maddy was an excellent gymnast who cut her own career short. The gymnastics community was robbed of her talent and artistic vision and would have benefitted greatly from her continued involvement." Blackwell paused as he folded his arms across his chest, continuing, "That being said, I still cannot accept her return as a coach. She has been in seclusion for the past six years and has been nothing but a poor role model for many of the up and coming gymnasts. She was a disgrace to this country, her gym, and me. I have never forgiven her for that inexcusable act." He paused again as he glared into the camera, hate contorting his face into a grimace, "And I never will. Maddy Reynolds, you rot in hell."
The clip returned to Todd, but Maddy could not hear what he said over the roar in her ears. She drew in a deep breath and managed to keep from chucking the phone all the way across the gym and watching it explode against the wall. Keeping her face expressionless so as not to betray her true emotions, Maddy swallowed hard and gently extended her hand to Lauren, staring at the floor blankly.
"Thank you, Lauren," Maddy said quietly as Lauren tentatively accepted her phone.
Still staring at nothing in particular, Maddy began to walk fluidly toward the back door, weaving between the gymnasts who stood rooted to the spot as they watched Maddy's walk of shame with judgmental eyes. Reaching the back door, Maddy pushed it open and stepped out into the sunshine, standing still as she heard the door slam behind.
Alone now, Maddy growled ferociously and her face became unrecognizable in her fury. Thoughtlessly, Maddy made a fist, spinning around quickly and striking the wall with it. Numb to the pain, Maddy sighed heavily and rested her forehead against the wall as her tears sprang from her eyes.
And because it was still one of those days when nothing went right, Sasha chose that exact moment—just when her shoulders had begun to shake heavily with her hysterical sobs—to burst through the back door, pushing so forcefully that it bounced off the wall.
Maddy groaned immediately and began swiping at her cheeks, disposing of the evidence of her disappointment, anger, and betrayal. Sasha began to walk toward her, arms widening in order to envelop her, to protect her, but he stopped abruptly when she raised her hand in objection.
"I'm fine, Belov," she said flatly.
Sasha sighed angrily and reached for her hand because it was, obviously, the one that she had struck the wall with and now several of her knuckles were torn open and bleeding. "Christ, Maddy," Sasha cursed, "You've got to start taking care of yourself. I'm tired of bandaging you up every other day."
"I never asked you to," Maddy growled furiously, pulling her hand forcefully from his prying fingers and turning her back on him as she stalked toward the annex building.
"Maddy—" Sasha called placatingly from behind her, but she cut him off.
"I said that I was fine, Belov, and I meant it," she said firmly, without turning back to face him. Pulling open the door to the annex, she finished, "Don't follow me. I don't want your pity."
Without giving Sasha a chance to respond, Maddy stepped into the dark building and let the door slam behind her, effectively distancing herself from Sasha and the distracting emotions in his eyes.
Maddy had remained alone in the annex building for almost an hour before she decided that she was calm enough in order to continue her work with Payson. Correctly assuming that Sasha had ordered everyone to respect her privacy, Maddy steeled herself to return to the gym to retrieve the teenager who had mercifully refrained from returning to her coach.
Coach. Maddy wasn't able to stop herself from remembering her own.
Timothy Blackwell. He had been the leading elite coach on the eastern coast six years ago, but had disappeared into obscurity along with Maddy. Apparently, he had suffered for her indiscretions, losing his coaching career and getting stuck in the past. He hadn't aged well. Maddy had seen that his normally lean face had become soft and round in his retirement and his bitterness and temper had only been augmented by his years of nonentity.
Maddy had come under his tutelage the summer that she had turned thirteen, when her mother had moved her from their home in Maine to a small city in southern Virginia so that Maddy could pursue her dreams. She had been a young, aspiring gymnast, fascinated by the sport and her own talent, and she had believed that Timothy Blackwell was the person to lead her to the Olympics. Maddy remembered the buoyant happiness she had felt when her mother had agreed to move them to Virginia at her daughter's bidding.
Eleven years later, Maddy sighed as she regretted that decision for the millionth time.
Sure, she had achieved her dreams, but Maddy realized that the price had been too high. Hindsight was always 20/20.
She had lost everything. Her mother had died before she could watch her daughter win gold and Maddy was grateful that she hadn't lived to see the abuse that her daughter had taken. She had been a proud woman, especially of her daughter, and the insults and disrespect with which Maddy's name had become associated would have broken her heart.
It was with thoughts of her mother on her mind that Maddy walked into the gym, distracting herself with other things so that she wouldn't have to bear the pity-filled looks from the Rock's gymnasts. Leaning against the wall of the hallway and looking out onto the floor, Maddy saw Payson trying to use the balance beam as a bar in order to perfect the subtleties of her floor routine. Maddy had so far gone unnoticed, but heads turned to her when she gave a low whistle, calling, "Let's go, Payson."
Payson snapped her head up and Maddy was grateful to see that the young gymnast still looked at Maddy in the same way that she always had. Payson's will and determination still struck Maddy dumb continuously, knowing that only someone who was determined to win would be able to deal with such a stigmatized coach.
Maddy watched as Payson bent down and picked up a small bag at her feet and jogged to reach Maddy's side. Wordlessly, they both turned and walked down the hallway and exited through the back door.
As Maddy walked in front of Payson, she turned when she heard Payson speak. "Sasha asked me to bring this out to you," Payson explained as she held out the black, zippered bag that she held in her hands.
Nodding, Maddy accepted it and Payson disappeared inside the annex building as Maddy unzipped the bag. Inexplicably, Maddy couldn't help feeling irritated at what she found inside.
Sasha had handed Payson a small first aid kit, presumably so that Maddy could bandage her damaged knuckles, which were still covered in dried blood. Shaking her head, Maddy remembered her embarrassment when Sasha had complained about having to bandage her every other day, as if she were an aggravating child who couldn't take care of herself. Color flooded her cheeks and she knew that it was due to equal portions of both shame and anger.
Feeling the need to solidify the relationship that she and Sasha had as co-workers, she pivoted on her heel and returned to the door. She needed to let him know that she wasn't one of his gymnasts, that she wasn't his responsibility.
Pulling open the door, Maddy strode purposefully down the hallway and onto the floor of the main building of the Rock. Keeping her eyes low, Maddy walked along the walls of the gym and climbed the stairs, entering Sasha's office with her head held high.
She saw him sitting behind his desk, holding a pencil in his hand as he made marks on a piece of paper in front of him. Arranging a blank expression on her face, Maddy threw the black bag down onto his desk, consciously using her battered hand so that he could clearly see that she had not used the first aid kit.
When he met her eyes, Maddy said coldly, "I don't need you to take care of me."
He said nothing and, as he continued to stare, Maddy spun on her heel and returned to Payson.
Sasha was going crazy.
It had been three days since Maddy had deigned to utter even a word to him and the silence was taking its toll on Sasha.
Just when he thought that he had the woman finally figured out, she threw him one hell of a curve ball.
He had understood her silence in the hours after she had thrown the first aid kit back at him. Her pride had been hurt worse than her hand and his attempts to help her had only been seen as pity and obligation. He could even understand her second day of silence because, even though he had only known her a short time, Sasha knew that she was a stubborn woman—despite her protestations that she was otherwise.
Yes, the first and second days of silence he could understand, but it was the third day that Sasha could not understand.
Since 6:00am that day, he had been hoping to get a word from her, trying to convince her to make some sort of sound directed at him, but all he had received were silent nods. And with each nod, his temper had grown.
It was now 8:00pm and Sasha was about to explode with his frustrations. Grabbing his keys, Sasha had every intention of pounding on her door and giving her a piece of his mind.
As he slipped his arms into the sleeves of his light jacket and flicked off his desk lamp, he began to hear one of the most beautiful piano melodies that he had ever heard emanating from the speaker system in the gymnasium. Confused since he thought that everyone had already left for the night, Sasha walked out the door to his office and stood upon the landing of the stairs, all anger dissolving at the sight with which his eyes were met.
The only lights on in the gym were those spotlights that illuminated the floor mat and so Sasha was able to see the gymnast clearly, but she was unable to see him. Silently, Sasha descended the staircase and made his way over to the floor, staring entranced at the spectacle before him with his hands in his pockets.
Maddy glided over the springboard, wearing a long-sleeved black leotard with a plum ribbon tied around her ribcage so that it fluttered in her wake as she moved. Her hair did the same as it was unbound and Sasha was spellbound by the brilliance of the color resulting from the direct light of the spotlights. He felt the music swelling through him and the tune itself inspired feelings of deep sadness and regret. The movement of Maddy's long arms and graceful legs served to supplement the music, using her body to turn the melody into a picture. As she set herself up in the corner of the floor mat, Sasha watched as she performed a flawless tumbling pass, but he was shocked to feel a twinge of anger from her movements. Somehow—and it was baffling to Sasha—Maddy was channeling both burning anger and debilitating despair simultaneously.
Minutes later, the music ended on a wavering note and Sasha realized that tears had come to his eyes, that Maddy's sadness had become his own. He was unable to take his eyes off her, unable to move as he stood rooted to his spot.
Considering their previous encounters, he shouldn't have been surprised when she began to speak to him, but he was. She had once told him that she could feel her audience, after all.
Kneeling down on the mat, Maddy sat up and pushed her long hair from her face, turning her body so that she faced Sasha, where he was standing a few feet away, hidden in the shadows. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "About what I said," she paused as she shrugged and gave a small smile, "or what I didn't say."
Stepping into the light, Sasha extended a hand down to her, which she took with a gentle grip as he pulled her to her feet. Releasing her hand, Sasha returned his own back to his pocket. "Why didn't you?" he asked.
Maddy rubbed the back of her neck. "Because I'm a stubborn woman," she confessed with a sigh, smiling up at him as she confirmed what he had always known to be true, but she had never admitted.
"I told you so," Sasha gloated, but without smiling.
"Yeah, yeah," Maddy waved her hand. She blinked a few times and began to answer Sasha's unasked questions. "Six years ago," she breathed, "I was humiliated. But as the years passed and I was able to blend in, I forgot the potency of that humiliation. I forgot how strong it was." She sighed as she rubbed her forehead, "When I decided to stay at the Rock, I was prepared for the animosity, for the blame, but I wasn't ready for the pity or the embarrassment."
"And that's what you feel?" Sasha asked.
"Not until three days ago," Maddy answered honestly. "Not until you."
"Me?" Sasha repeated incredulously.
Maddy nodded, looking up into his eyes for the first time. "You're Sasha Belov," Maddy began to explain. "You were my role model for years, one of my favorite gymnasts. And I couldn't help feeling like you were disappointed in me. That you expected more of me than what you were seeing."
"Why would you feel that way?" Sasha asked disbelievingly.
"You've seen the worst parts of me. I mean, I ran off without any shoes," Maddy answered simply. Laughing self-deprecatingly, she continued, "I gave myself a black eye. Hell, I punched a wall." She looked up at him with a humorless smile, asking, "Who does that?"
In response, Sasha pulled his left hand out of his pocket and held it before her eyes for her inspection. He watched as her eyes widened and heard her gasp as she gently enfolded his hand in her own. Carefully, she ran her thumb over his knuckles that had been broken open only a few hours ago. Looking up at him, she asked him the question with her eyes.
"I was upset," Sasha said as he explained why he had punched a wall earlier that day.
"Why?" Maddy asked questioningly.
"There were many reasons," Sasha responded. "Not the least of which was that your old coach told you to 'rot in hell'." Sasha's expression became murderous as he finished, "I would rather have hit him than that wall."
"You're not the only one," Maddy responded with a chuckle. Growing serious, Maddy asked, "What were the other reasons?"
Sasha studied her face intently before answering. "I thought that you were leaving the Rock," Sasha said softly, an expression of sadness on his face. "I thought that I had pushed you away by treating you like a child, like just another one of my gymnasts."
"Stop," Maddy ordered with a frown. "You weren't treating me like a child and you weren't doing it out of pity. You were being kind. I'd just forgotten what that felt like."
"Still—" Sasha tried to continue.
"No," she interrupted adamantly, looking deeply into his eyes. "You did nothing wrong, Belov."
Blinking thoughtfully, Sasha allowed himself to study the young woman before him. Her gray eyes searched his intently and her cheeks were pink from the exertion of her dance. Her chest still heaved slightly as she drew breath and her alabaster skin gleamed in the light. Her pale pink lips were turned up into a small smile and her face was an odd mix of beauty and bruises as he studied the yellowing edges of her black eye and the healing cut on her forehead. Finally, he examined her long red hair as it tumbled in waves down to her waist and he suddenly had to physically stop his hand from raising and satisfying the urge to tangle his fingers in it. He longed to pull her close to his body and touch his lips to hers in a scorching kiss, but he managed at the last second to control himself.
She had made it perfectly clear already that she didn't think of him in that way.
Shaking his head, he asked the first thing that came to his empty mind as he brushed past her, walking toward the stereo, "What was that music you were listening to?"
"Oh, um," Maddy responded in surprise. "It was just something I came across. I don't remember who it is."
Sasha reached the stereo and hit the eject button, grabbing the disk as it popped out from the tray. As he took it, Maddy jogged over to him, trying to reach the disk before Sasha could, and he frowned as he looked down at it. The disk that he held in his hands was one of those blank ones that music could be burnt onto, but instead of labeling it with the artist's name or the name of the tracks as was common, Maddy had written the words: "Two Months and Seventeen Days After the Olympics."
Sasha turned to her, a quizzical expression on his face, but, seeing the apprehensive look on Maddy's, he wisely decided not to press the issue. Smiling at her, he asked, "Have you eaten anything yet?"
Sasha could see the shock in her eyes and then the grateful smile as she answered, "No."
Sasha shrugged and handed her the disk. "Well," he began, "I don't have much to offer you, but I have a box of Raisin Bran that is just calling our names."
Maddy laughed and nodded. "Sounds delicious," she agreed.
Sasha smiled, happy that she had consented to spend more time with him. "Great," he said honestly. "Shall we?" he asked as he gestured for her to go ahead of him.
Maddy nodded and led the way over to her duffel bag, pulling a pair of black, athletic shorts from it and stepping into them. The elastic snapped against her hips and then she slipped her feet into her flats, lifting her bag onto her shoulder as she and Sasha began to walk out the doors of the Rock.
After locking up behind them, they walked in companionable silence over to Sasha's Airstream. Reaching the table outside of the trailer, Sasha pulled out a chair and gestured for Maddy to have a seat. "I'll be right back," Sasha said and pointed to his home. "I'm not sure that we could both fit in there."
Maddy laughed. "Sure we could. But it would be a tight fit and I'm afraid that you would have to clean me up once you accidentally gave me a bloody nose or something."
Sasha laughed, grateful for her humor, and opened the door, stepping up into the trailer and flicking the light switches that turned on the outside lights. Grabbing the utensils and the cereal, Sasha quickly returned outside to rejoin Maddy, laying what he held onto the table.
She looked up at him and smiled, saying, "Thanks."
"No problem," he said as he sat down, pouring himself a bowl and watching as she did the same.
They both sat in silence and crunched away, until Maddy frowned pensively and pointed at him with her spoon. "You know," she said. "We spend all this time talking about me, but I don't really know anything about you."
Sasha almost choked on a raisin. "What are you talking about?" he spluttered, wheezing unattractively. "I can count the number of things that I know about you on one hand."
"That's not true," Maddy countered.
Sasha held up a hand, ticking off the information as he went. "You're 24 years old. You are an Olympian. You grew up in Maine. Your middle name is Blake. And you're incredibly stubborn," Sasha paused, holding up five fingers, and then he shrugged. "That's it. That's all I know."
Maddy frowned disbelievingly. "Oh my goodness," she admitted. "You're right."
Getting an idea that he really liked, Sasha suggested, "How about we get to know one another? We can each take turns asking the other a question."
"But," Maddy amended, holding up her spoon again, "we have the option of choosing not to answer."
"Nope," Sasha refused, shaking his head. "What's the point otherwise? You would never answer any of my questions."
She looked uncertain and before she could decide to leave, Sasha caved. "All right," he said. "We each get one veto. Deal?"
She nodded once. "Deal," she agreed.
Sasha sat back in his chair and settled in for the duration. His stomach felt like it was filled with hundreds of butterflies. He was sitting at a table with Maddy and he was going to have the opportunity to actually talk with her, to get to know her. Finally.
"Who goes first?" Maddy asked with a smile.
Feeling gracious, Sasha replied, "You can."
"All right," Maddy said and she tapped her spoon against the side of the bowl as she thought. "I'll start with something easy." She paused and Sasha braced himself, smiling when she finally asked, "What's your favorite kind of cereal?"
Without a pause, Sasha answered, "Lucky Charms."
The shock on her face was priceless. "You're joking," she said, an incredulous smile spreading across her lips.
"Not even a little bit," Sasha confirmed. "I just love those freaking marshmallows."
"Wow," Maddy exclaimed when she finally stopped laughing. "I never would have guessed that."
"Really?" Sasha asked, curious. "What did you think I would say?"
"I don't know." She shrugged. "Something healthy and boring, like…Corn Flakes."
"I hate Corn Flakes," he stated firmly, making a face. "Unless they're Frosted Flakes."
Still shaking her head, Maddy mused, "I can't believe that Sasha Belov likes junk cereal."
"You better believe it," Sasha said, laughing. He stared at her for a moment and then said gleefully, "My turn."
"Uh-oh," she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Go easy on me."
"Never," Sasha confessed. Taking pity on her, he asked, "What's your favorite color?"
Maddy set her bowl on the table and pulled on the tails of the ribbon around her waist, holding the deep plum, velvet cloth out to Sasha. "This," she answered.
Sasha rubbed the ribbon between his fingers and waited for her next question.
Things continued in this way for almost an hour, each learning the other's likes and dislikes. For example, Maddy learned Sasha's favorite color (blue), his age (32), his most embarrassing moment (she was sworn to secrecy), his favorite routine (the rings routine with which he won Olympic gold), and several other interesting things. Then she asked him the question that completely changed the whole mood of the exchange from playful to serious.
"Who's your favorite athlete?"
He blinked twice and rubbed his hand across his mouth. Sighing, he looked her in the eyes and replied quietly, "You were."
Blushing, Maddy couldn't hold his gaze. "What?" she asked.
"You were my favorite athlete," Sasha repeated. "You had everything. Grace, power, charisma. You were a true performer and I loved watching you do what you did best." He paused for a moment, then finished, "I saw you win at the Olympics."
Shocked, she forgot her embarrassment and met his eyes, whispering fearfully, "You were there?"
Sasha nodded slowly and Maddy leaned back in her chair. "It was the best competition that I had ever seen from you," Sasha offered, trying to get her to say something.
Staring at her lap, Maddy replied, "I had never wanted to win more. I gave it everything that I had." She laughed humorlessly, saying, "One last hurrah."
They were silent for a long moment and then Sasha realized that it was his turn to ask her something. Heart pounding, he braced himself to ask the one question that he was dying to learn the answer to. He was going to ask her the question. He was going to ask her why she had walked out on the Olympics. Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward.
Before any words left his lips, however, she spoke over him, pleading. "Don't," she breathed, looking fearfully into his eyes. "Please don't ask me that. You're the only person who's never asked me. And I really like that. About you." She swallowed heavily and continued, "That you don't need to know, I mean. That you can just accept me and forget about my past." She looked back down at her lap, finishing quietly, "I respect you for that more than you will ever know."
Feeling ashamed since he had been planning to ask her that very question, Sasha leaned back in his chair, cleared his throat, and asked instead, "Have you ever told anyone?"
"No," she answered and her voice quavered. "And I don't ever plan to."
Sasha nodded, vowing silently to himself and her that he would never again ask, or even think, that question again. She respected him, liked him, and he didn't ever want to do anything to betray that.
Thinking that she would change the subject with her own question, Sasha was surprised when she gritted her teeth and, bouncing her foot up and down nervously, she asked, "Were you disappointed in me?" Pausing, she clarified, "That day. Were you just like everyone else?"
Thinking back to that fateful day six years ago, Sasha frowned as he answered honestly. "I was more worried than anything, I think," he said hesitantly. "I remember sitting there in the stands and wondering where you were, but…I was never angry with you. I remember thinking that something must have happened. Something terrible."
Tears in her eyes, Maddy nodded slowly, trying her hardest to keep from crying because of the unspeakable gratitude and affection she felt for the only person in the world who didn't hate her.
"Next question," she prompted after they had been silent for too long.
Sasha agreed to change the subject, but he knew that the time for easy questions was over. Looking at her intently, he asked her the question that had been on his mind for the last hour. "You lied to me earlier, didn't you?" Sasha pressed, fiddling with his hands in his lap. "And Summer, too."
Her eyes widened and she couldn't meet his gaze.
Undaunted, he continued, "Summer told me about the music that she heard playing in your car that day she helped you find a new place. She said that you told her you couldn't remember the composer…but you do, don't you?" He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and guessed, "It was you, wasn't it? You wrote that music."
Sighing, she drew her bottom lip between her teeth. "Do you remember—back when I first met Payson—that I told her every artistic gymnast has music playing within her?" she asked, finally meeting his gaze again.
Sasha nodded.
"Well, that was mine," she confessed. "What you heard earlier and what Summer heard that day, they were…melodies…that played inside of me when I performed. I just took the notes from within my head and put them on paper for everyone else to hear."
Impressed, Sasha asked, "And the label? 'Two Months and Seventeen Days After the Olympics'? What was that?"
Crossing her legs, Maddy licked her lips and answered, "That's the day when I first heard the melody. I created that song two months and seventeen days after the Olympics."
"It was so sad," Sasha breathed. "And so angry."
"That's how I was feeling," Maddy shrugged.
"I'm sorry that you had to go through that," Sasha apologized with a lump in his throat. "Alone."
Putting on the strong face that Sasha just now realized was a carefully constructed façade, she said nonchalantly, "I got through it. And I turned out just fine."
Seeing that she wanted to put the hurtful subjects completely behind her, Sasha decided to make a joke. Shrugging his shoulders, he responded hesitantly, "That's debatable."
"Debatable?" she repeated incredulously. Punching his arm lightly, she smiled, "You're such a jerk."
"I try," Sasha responded with a smile.
Maddy laughed and settled back in her chair, pointing her eyes up at the sky as she studied the stars. Technically, it was her turn to ask a question and it was in that moment that she knew the question she longed to ask. The only problem was that she wasn't sure if she could actually go through with it.
Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself and asked, "Are you happy with Summer?"
Sasha had been playing with his spoon in his bowl, staring wistfully at the woman before him, when she asked the question. Totally shocked, he let the spoon fall back into the dish with a loud clanging noise. Grateful that she wasn't looking him in the eye, Sasha rubbed his hands together and answered in the only way that he knew he could.
Quietly, he whispered, "Pass."
Hearing him veto her question, Maddy closed her eyes, knowing that she had gone too far. She began to get nervous as she wondered what was going on in his head. Was he angry? Had she crossed a line? Had her question given her growing feelings for him away?
She expected him to clear his throat and begin taking the dishes away, thereby ending their conversation, so she was wholly unprepared when he asked her just as quietly, "Have you been in any relationships since you left gymnastics?"
His question surprised her so much that she snapped her head down to meet his eyes. He was looking at her intently with an odd expression on his face. If Maddy hadn't known better, she would say that he was apprehensive to hear her response. As if her answer meant everything in the world to him.
Little did she know, that was exactly how Sasha felt.
Breathing shallowly, she gripped the arms of the lawn chair that she was sitting in tightly and whispered, "Pass."
Immediately, Sasha blinked and broke the eye contact, gathering his bowl in his hands and reaching for hers. He stood quickly and turned to go into the trailer as Maddy snatched up the cereal box and milk, following him inside without thinking.
It was strangely intimate inside the trailer. It wasn't nearly as tight a squeeze as they had joked about earlier, but it was definitely a small enough space that each was painfully aware of the other's proximity. Sasha set the bowls gently in the sink, his mind racing. Had he really asked her that question?
When he turned around, he saw Maddy closing the door to the refrigerator once she had put the milk inside. Speaking for the first time since the question, she held up the box of cereal and asked, "Where does this go?"
Sasha moved a step to the left and held open cupboard door. Maddy moved forward and slipped the box into the empty space and Sasha closed the cabinet. Each cursed themselves separately for this act because now they stood inches apart. Sasha looked down at her face and could make out the several light freckles that dotted across her cheeks and her light eyelashes hid her eyes as she couldn't meet his. Sasha's breathing grew shallow and he knew that if she were to look up at him right at that moment, he would be helpless. He would enfold her in his arms and let her know what she was beginning to mean to him.
But she didn't look up. Instead, she moved past him, careful not to brush against him in any way, and she stepped outside. Sasha watched through the door as she bent and picked up her bag, laying the strap on top of her shoulder and swinging the bag behind her.
She looked up at him then, and Sasha was surprised at her level of composure. He was still shaking, still wishing that he had kissed her, and she seemed absolutely unaffected!
Feeling foolish, Sasha realized that she looked that way because it was how she was. She was unaffected by him.
Desperate to cover his mistake, Sasha bounded down the stairs with a smile on his face. "Well," he said breathlessly. "I guess that I'll see you tomorrow."
Maddy smiled and nodded. "You bet," she replied. "Good night."
"Good night, Maddy," Sasha echoed.
She turned and Sasha watched while she walked to her car, tossed her bag inside, and drove away.
As soon as she was out of sight, Sasha collapsed into his chair and held his head in his hands.
What had just happened? They had been having an excellent time. In fact, Sasha couldn't remember the last time that it had been so easy and fun to just sit and talk with someone. Maddy was vibrant, with plenty of amusing stories—the woman was exceedingly clumsy for one of the world's most accomplished artistic gymnasts—and she had seemed just as engrossed in the stories that he had told as well. They had talked about cereal for Christ's sake and he had had a blast!
Before tonight, Sasha had known that he was attracted to Maddy. She was a beautiful woman after all, and when she performed…well, he'd never seen anything more stunning. But he had never known how attractive her personality was until tonight. She had always seemed closed off and surly before, but Sasha understood now that she was just cautious and slow to trust. She'd had to be after what she'd gone through.
So much had changed in one evening. How could one conversation have such an immense effect on his desires?
But was she feeling the same way about him? Had her feelings changed after tonight? Sasha couldn't be sure. She was extremely difficult to read. There were moments when Sasha thought that she was feeling the same connection that he did and then other moments when he felt like she had put up a solid wall between them.
Confused and not wanting to analyze their conversation anymore, Sasha stood up and crawled into bed, determined to go to sleep. Thirty minutes of thrashing about later, Sasha climbed out of bed, opened his refrigerator, grabbed a beer, and went outside.
Sitting in the darkness, Sasha popped the cap off his beverage and resumed his incessant wondering, all the while clutching the purple ribbon that she had left behind in his fingers.
Poor Maddy. She really is clueless, isn't she?
Review and let me know what you think!
