It's finally here!
I've been having a problem with my MacBook since August and it was driving me crazy (I fully understand if you skip the following rant and I won't hold it against you) - I had it from the end of 2010, and at the beginning of 2013 the logic board went. Luckily I just had it replaced under the warranty, but then it would't turn on at the end of this August. Took me forever to get an appointment at the genius bar a few weeks into September, when they took it apart and told me it started working again when they put it back together, so no charge (we love free things!) But then it went again 2 days later, when they told me it was then the logic board, AGAIN, so I had to borrow £400 off someone to pay for it to get fixed. BUT technically it could have been carried out for free under EU Consumer Law, but I got the Mac through a company for disabled students and they were COMPLETELY RUDE when I contacted them and they refused to help me even thought it would be costing them nothing to do so. So in the end, I got the money, then got another phone call from Apple telling me the hard drive was going AS WELL! Luckily my brother is amazing and managed to talk the Apple manager into replacing the hard drive for free. Got it back, got home and the day after... my internet crashed. So then I had to wait a week for Sky to send me a new router box, but luckily that has fixed it so, fingers crossed, every things good now!
I understand that is an incredibly long rant but now I feel SO much better. So, here's the chapter!
The one morning. The ONE morning she contemplated just staying in bed. The sun shining through the window, warming her in her cocoon of bedsheets and cushy pillows. Burrowing down deeper she could feel the heaviness of sleep taking over, her sore limbs feeling weightless as she slowly drifted back off into…
"Beth! Bethy!" The muffled voice yelled out, breaking through her blissful state. With a groan she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling.
Of course I can't get one moment of peace.
Pulling the covers up over her head, she braced herself as she heard Maggie's footsteps – or more like stomping – barrelling towards her room.
"You awake?" the unwanted guest asked as she threw open the door. If Beth hadn't been, she certainly would be as Maggie slammed the door closed behind her and launched herself onto the bed.
"Urgh, what is it Mags?"
"Well," she continued, pausing to rip the sheet back. "There you are! Andrea, Lori and Carol are talking dad into letting them cook for us tonight."
"And that has you so excited how?" Beth sighed, the last fragments of sleep lingering.
"We're helping. As in me, AND you."
She was definitely awake now.
"I simply reasoned with him that if they are gonna be in the kitchen with my help, it would look even weirder than it already does if you were gonna be in your room the entire day. He just says that I can't leave you alone with them, stick by your side the entire time. But it looks like no hiding for you today," beamed Maggie. Both girls lunged forward into a bone-crushing hug, squealing and smiling.
"Hey, where's your necklace?" Maggie asked as she pulled back. "Thought you never took it off."
"Oh," Beth's face falling. "Lost it. Noticed I wasn't wearing it a couple days ago."
"Sorry sweety. I know how much you love that thing."
"No, it's fine," breathed Beth with a sad smile. "Really. It's nothing compared to the grand scheme of things, don't ya think?"
"Well," smiled Maggie, lightening the tone, "time to get moving. Can't stay in here all day can you."
Once she had left the room Beth realised just how excited she was to spend the day in her won kitchen - When did my life come to this?
Either way, she suddenly felt too energised to even consider going back to sleep.
X-X-X
"…she was so red, it hurt to even move. Had her so paranoid she even started carrying sunscreen around in her bag wherever she went!"
The five women had been sharing stories for most of the day – cooking, laughing, gossiping, it was the closest any of them had got to feeling normal in a long time.
When Andrea had chimed in with some story about Amy, a small smile and soft laugh to accompany her memory, Lori and Carol knew she was slowly but surely healing.
While Beth and Maggie had never met her sister, they could still feel for the woman. They didn't know what they'd do if they lost each other.
And in true sisterly fashion, had both taken the opportunity to also share some embarrassing stories.
"So Beth," began Lori. Beth looked up from peeling potatoes to see Carol and Lori share a mischievous smile. "It seems Jimmy is pretty smitten, how long have the two of you been seeing each-"
"Oh we're just friends," Beth was quick to explain. "We've known each other pretty much our whole lives, but we've been real friends the past few years." She had tried to keep her tone light and friendly, but everyone in the room could sense there was more to the story.
"Oh, it's just, we must have got the wrong end of the stick," explained Carol with a smile. "We've all seen him watching you, puppy dog eyes an' all."
Whether it was feeling some what normal for the first time in weeks, around women who made her so comfortable, or just the overwhelming need to relieve some of the pressure in her chest of keeping so many secrets, Beth just grabbed the opportunity to talk openly.
"Things have been awkward. With Jimmy," she started. She could see from the corner of her eye how the other women paused their actions, turning to glance between her and each other. "Since my mom and Shawn were killed he treats me like some helpless girl, like I should be dependent on him, keep running to him or something."
"Well sweety, maybe you should talk to him. If you're such good friends he's probably just worried about you, with everything going on," offered Lori.
"It's just, it's a little more complicated than that." Beth's voice was hesitant, but with a deep breath she continued. "We had sort of drifted apart a little before all of this began. But he…"
She looked up to see everyone looking at her, only adding to the heat she could already feel rising up in her cheeks as she thought about her next sentence.
"He kissed me, just the once. But by then I really didn't know how I felt about him, and I kept thinking I should talk to him about it. But it was right before all this started and I guess I just kinda chickened out a little. I mean, with everything going on I thought we'd be too pre-occupied, he'd be too busy to look at me that way."
"But he hasn't been?" Lori asked, her tone suggesting she already knew the answer.
"Beth. He hasn't done something has he?" asked Carol at Beth's silence, the older woman's eyebrows scrunching in concern.
"Oh no, nothing bad," Beth quickly clarified. She had heard from Maggie how bad things had been between Carol and her husband. "Yesterday he dragged me out to the horse barn, started yelling at me about how he was worried, that I wasn't the same person he knew when we were younger."
"Bethy, I knew things were awkward between you two, but you didn't tell me he'd done that," Maggie's voice was soft, the sound of unease clearly evident.
"It's not even that," sighed Beth. "I went crazy at him about how he wasn't in charge of me, whether he was my boyfriend or not. And I more than stressed that he was not. He stormed off and we haven't spoken since."
"Well I think you know your true feelings," offered Andrea. "You telling him all that in the heat of the moment, all your real feelings came rushing out. Just gotta figure out how to tell him better."
They all silently returned to the cooking tasks at hand, sensing the end of that specific conversation.
The afternoon wore on in much the same way it had started, the women taking pleasure in sharing normal gossip amongst all the chaos. Leaving Beth to contemplate her plan of action with what could be her only friend left in the world.
X-X-X
To say dinner had become an awkward affair would be an understatement.
When everyone first gathered – including Daryl who was pretty much dragged into the house – there was shared appreciation for the meal and for Hershel allowing them to do this. A jovial mood hovered over the group - until all the pleasantries and thank-you's were over and the uncomfortable silence spread.
Shane's glares could hardly go unnoticed, even with the group already accustomed to tiptoeing around the mysterious tension he had with the Sheriff and Lori; the latter of whom was currently squirming under his gaze.
At the head of the table, as always, sat Hershel, his stare hardly straying from their guests.
And sandwiched amongst all this tension sat the two Greene girls, sat either side of the father they were each on the receiving end of their own tense stand-offs. While Maggie may have been involved in some idol conversation, mainly on Dale's side as he tried to ease the tension, her main point of focus was on Glenn. Or to be exact, focusing on not making eye contact with his smiling face and puppy-dog eyes. She liked him, she did, but what with her father wanting his girls to be kept away from the group as much as possible and the fact that the group would be moving on soon anyway, she'd decided to keep her distance.
Unfortunately for Beth she could feel the heat of two sets of eyes on her. In trying her hardest to avoid the glares of Jimmy, she focused on her plate, head down and just waiting for this meal to be over.
"Well, if it's okay with Hershel, I would just like to say thank-you," Rick approached. With a nod from Hershel, he continued. "I just wanted to say thank-you to the ladies for preparing this great meal. But also thank Hershel and his family for helping us, with everything. Not only did you do everything possible for Carl, which we'll be eternally grateful for. But you let a group of complete strangers stay on your land, living around your home and your family. Not everyone would do that, or even let them into your house like this."
"That's the Greene's for you. Willing to help… always there," Jimmy cut through the pleasantries, before emphasising his final point. "Always honest."
It was those words that finally chipped away at Beth's resolve, her eyes snapping to him for the first time that night. Just in time to see his warm expression toward Hershel turn quick as a flash to a look of distain towards her, before finally settling on his plate.
She shared a glance with Maggie, who had obviously picked up on Jimmy's not-quite-so-subtle meaning, as well as their earlier kitchen guests. Everyone else had resumed their murmurings and attempts at silence-filling, but all Beth could do was wonder two things; could she ever fix her friendship with Jimmy, and why was Daryl scowling so hard at named friend.
X-X-X
Both sisters were supposed to clean up, but Beth being the good sister she was, had agreed to cover for Maggie while she talked to Glenn – in exchange for Maggie owing her a favour of Beth's choosing, of course.
She could hear the muffled voices from the front of the house, everyone dispersing once dinner was finally finished. No doubt her father was discussing the group leaving – a subject he had broached numerous times already.
Beth honestly didn't know how to feel about it all. She didn't really know them, she had to try and stay away as much as possible. But she was nowhere near heartless enough to be okay with people being forced out into certain danger.
A quiet noise behind her grabbed her attention away from her deep train of thought. So deep in fact it took several seconds to realise someone was clearing their throat, and even more moments to react.
"Oh, hey," she cautiously said, looking over her shoulder. "I thought you'd gone back outside already."
"Yeah, um… yer dad's just talking to Rick." Daryl was shuffling into the kitchen, his eyes darting between the floor and Beth. If she didn't know any better she'd think he was nervous. "He said to come through for some things yer sister put together."
Without a word she turned to gather the food Hershel said they could have, leaving Daryl to feel completely out of place, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck and once again finding the tiled floor very interesting.
"Here you go," as she emerged with what little supplies they could spare. "So, does that mean you're all leaving tomorrow?"
"Pretty much," he muffled from round his thumb – a nervous tick. "Carl's doing good so..."
Beth placed the supplies on the small table at her side and turned to carry on with her work, hoping he would leave without any of their now usual conflict.
But her hopeful state was sorely interrupted by the fingers curling round her wrist with just enough pressure to make her jump and turn back to the redneck.
"Mind tellin' me where you got this?" he snarled. They both looked down to the see the hand-shaped bruise on her arm – courtesy of Jimmy.
"It's really nothing," she rushed, realising she'd rolled up her sleeves to clean up, thinking she'd be left alone for the rest of the night. "Nobody hurt me or anything, it's nobody's business."
"Well I know ya didn't get that from cooking all day," inching closer to stare her in the face. "So let me guess, yer little boyfriend get too physical in the barn yesterday?"
Beth didn't know how to respond to that. He seemed so irate already, how would he react to the truth that it technically was Jimmy. Daryl took a breath, squaring his shoulders and dropping her arm to walk towards the back door.
"Stop, it honestly isn't anything," Beth begged. "Ok, it was actually Jimmy, but he wasn't hurting me. He NEVER has. You really are just reading this the wrong way."
"Fine. Ya know what? Maybe it is some kinda accident, but don't expect any help from me when somethin does go wrong."
He grabbed the food and left, leaving her more confused than she already was from dinner.
X-X-X
What the hell was he thinking? The way their 'conversation' had ended yesterday, the yelling from the barn, seeing that bruise. He'd seen things like that before, he'd lived through things like that before. Memories of going to sleep at night, having to hear the screaming and shouting, and finally the banging and crashing. He'd see the night's results in the morning, up her arms and around her neck.
Daryl himself was no stranger to his fists, but it got worse. MUCH worse, after she died.
Of course he knew not to jump to conclusions and always expect the worse, that he shouldn't project his own experiences onto others. This knowledge was niggling away at he back of his mind.
But his temper and quick judgement always had him act first and think later.
He trudged back through the camp, wanting nothing more than to put as much space between him and that house. Collapsing into his tent he lay on his bed, scrubbing his hands over his face. Even when he was alone - something he had preferred for as long as he could remember – she still crowded his thoughts. Either Beth was lying to protect that Jimmy kid and endangering herself, or she was simply telling the truth. Either way her could feel the anger bubbling away inside him.
He kept telling himself it was all because of his family, that he would never allow a man to lay a hand on a woman, not while he was around. Any self-respecting man would know that, at least that's what he was trying to tell himself.
As he slipped into a fitful nights sleep, Daryl's mind was plagued by the same recurring thought; was he more angry at the possibility a female was being hurt by a guy – and right under his nose – or that he felt more concerned it was Beth who was hurt.
X-X-X
Following her problematic encounter with Daryl, Beth found herself seeking solace in her writing. Or at least that's what she was hoping for. Writing helped her focus, to clear her mind of unnecessary distractions and really block out any negativity, and what with everything happening the past few weeks she hadn't had a whole lot of time. But as she finally put her pen to paper it seemed the universe was intent on keeping her distracted – said distraction being in the shape of an older sister.
"You're not too busy are you?" said Maggie as she sauntered in and flung herself onto the bed.
"No, not at all," Beth breathed. Her first instinct was anger at being barged in on, but then she took in the look on Maggie's face.
"I couldn't avoid Glenn anymore," Maggie stated, sadness seeping into her eyes. Beth simply cuddled into her sister's side and let her vent.
But in true sister style they were quickly giggling and poking fun at each other.
"I still can't believe you did that!" Beth exclaimed.
"The guy was a jerk! He kept telling me his friend was looking for a quick rebound, so 'is your sister available?' He deserved that drink in his face!" Maggie proudly justified.
"Except it wasn't A drink Mags. It was a whole pitcher AND chilli cheese fries," lectured Beth.
"Look, no-one talks crap about my sister, ok? No-one talks crap about you, no-one treats you badly or lays a finger on you."
Beth tried her hardest not to flinch at Maggie's words. She was smiling softly, so surely she didn't know about Jimmy, right?
"You're my little sister. I am fully allowed to perform my duty as the big sister."
With a smile Beth allowed Maggie to pull her into a hug, completely enveloped in a poignant moment. Until their bubble was well and truly burst by a bellowing voice.
"Girls, I would like to talk to you both."
X-X-X
Sat in front of their father, both girls feared what was next – they had convinced themselves Hershel had found out about their little trips into the woods.
"Now we've all known our guests were only temporary. Well, I have been talking with Rick about their leaving and we have agreed that the group will be moving on tomorrow."
After a moment of relief knowing their secret was safe they turned their focus to their fathers words.
"Is Carl healed enough to travel already?" asked Maggie.
"He has healed well, no need to worry yourselves about that anymore," Hershel tried to comfort.
"Are you sure they should go back out there?" Both Maggie and Hershel snapped their attention to Beth at her question.
"Well blackbird, Rick said they're feeling rested enough, they've gathered enough supplies-"
"No daddy," Beth interrupted. "I mean, do you really think we should let them back out into everything happening out there?"
Maggie reached for her hand under the table, giving a reassuring squeeze.
"I understand you girls have always had such big hearts, but you also know that you can't always help everyone," Hershel tried to placate. "Unfortunately it's not how the world works."
"Not how it worked daddy," Beth's voice rising.
"The world's changed now," Maggie quickly took over, hoping to diffuse the growing situation. "I know you want to keep us safe here, but it doesn't mean we should become oblivious to what's happening."
The room delved into silence as Hershel tried to grasp what he had just heard, perhaps most shocked that this was coming from his own daughters.
"Now listen," he hollered once he had finally returned back to the situation at hand. "This is my home and my land. And whilst I am the head of this family my decision is final."
"That may be true, but it doesn't mean we agree with you," Maggie calmly replied.
"You are my daughters, my only daughters, my responsibility. And I am keeping you safe. Having strangers here puts us in jeopardy, especially you Bethy."
"Me?" Beth countered, her eyebrows scrunching in annoyance. She was determined to keep her voice as level and calm as possible. "You mean what happened in the barn?"
Hershel quickly averted his eyes to the table.
"We need to talk about it daddy. It wasn't an 'incident', something you've been avoiding talking about. It happened. And if you kick the group off the farm it could happen to them. Only they probably wouldn't survive it, would they?"
Beth stood from her chair, finally gaining back her father's full attention, making eye contact.
"Both Beth and me aren't little girls anymore," Maggie interjected. "We know what's out there, the constant danger we're all living in now."
"If you actually think the group leaving is for the best, for anyone, then I'm actually disappointed daddy."
She turned and left the room, followed closely by Maggie. Hershel stayed, staring at the wall, and trying to make sense of his daughters' words.
I just wanted to clarify one or two things - firstly, I believe Maggie and Glenn rushed into their marriage so quickly on the show that maybe it created a separation between her and Beth (and Hershel)? I'm not sure, but either way I have made Beth and Maggie's relationship strong and feel like her and Glenn WILL happen, just not so fast.
