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Scars

"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."

-Rose Kennedy-

"We're still no where close to building a profile are we?" Derek asked dejectedly.

"Well we are getting closer on the profile, it's just that our suspect list is pretty much empty," Rossi answered through the screen.

"So there was no one at the funeral who stood out?" Emily asked.

"We can't be sure the unsub was there. This killer is after something. Relishing in the product of his actions is not likely going to excite this unsub. Ultimately, he's after the children… well, child."

"We met two couples who were friends of the Fosters. They're bringing us dinner tonight but there were no red flags there," Derek spoke. "Still, we'll stay aware."

"Good. It's likely that the unsub will cross paths with you at some point in the daily routine so just keep an eye out, especially when you take the kids to preschool. This case is all about the kids so we're hoping that is the key."

"Will do." Derek nodded.

"So tomorrow you'll begin the Fosters weekly routine," JJ added. "Maggie, Carter and Ben are to be dropped off at Good Sheppard Preschool tomorrow morning at 9:00am. I typed up directions and the names of the kids' teachers but I'm sure they'll take good care of you. That place is like the Harvard of preschools. Each of the children's trust funds has already paid their tuition in full so they'll be expecting you."

"You'll need to send them lunches so I bought them all little lunchboxes. They are in the pantry. I got Carter a superhero one and Maggie a princess one," Garcia couldn't contain her glee.

"I'm sure they'll love it babygirl."

"Good. I'm sure you've already found all of it but I bought applesauce, fruit snacks, veggie packs and more for them so you should be all set."

"We might even have to pack them some of those cookies we baked as a treat," Derek added.

"As long as you don't eat them all first," Emily said with a pointed glare at Derek's now guilty face.

"Or as long as Emily didn't burn them," Reid added with a smile.

"Oh honestly! Do none of you have any faith in my cooking abilities?" Emily exclaimed. The team merely looked around at each other and then all shook their heads at her as they erupted into chuckles.

"Shhh," she whispered as she leaned forward to turn down the volume on the computer. "The kids are napping."

"See. I told you she'd be the perfect mom," Garcia grinned proudly.

"She is," Derek agreed instantly, causing Emily's cheeks to flush. "The funeral was hard on the kids. She was a genius at getting them to go down for a nap. She's got the magic touch," he said with an admiring glance in her direction, to which Emily merely shook her head.

"Well now we just need to work on Emily's cooking skills so those kids don't starve," Rossi said; unable to stop himself and more laughing began.

"Well one day I'll surprise you all. You'll see," she stated, unable to hide the annoyed but loving smile on her face for the family-like team. They were about to talk further but the sound of Carter's call for Derek from the stairway landing cut the conversation short.

"Back to parenthood," Derek joked before the rushed up the stairs to where Carter stood. "Hey little man!" he exclaimed as he lifted Carter high in the air. "Ready to play with your trains some more? We need to finish that bridge!"

"Yes!" Carter jumped and proceeded to follow the man excitedly towards the playroom while Prentiss bid the team goodbye. Soon, the Derek and Carter were building onto the train tracks and Emily was helping Maggie play dress-up for a tea party with her stuffed animals. Baby Ben was kicking his feet excitedly while watching the events unfold from his swing.

The late afternoon hours passed quickly and the temporary family was finally pulled from their entertainment by the ringing of the doorbell. David and Adrianne Grey greeted the family, hugging the excited children who rushed towards them the moment they saw them.

They brought delicious lasagna, salad and even more Christmas cookies for the family. But the food sat in the kitchen for quite some time as they all sat together: playing with the children and talking with Derek and Emily about their lives. They had met when David was in Medical School and had been married for four years. David was a pediatrician and Adrianne was a nurse but chose to work at the school since the job had just opened up.

They wanted children but struggled having them. The couple said that was one of the reasons the Foster children were so close to them because they had spent so much time with them and their parents, especially since they didn't have any other family.

Eventually though, the couple insisted they should leave and let the family eat, even though not only the kids but the agents protested – happy to have some adult interaction for a change and with such pleasant people. Derek and Emily were also thankful the children had some familiarity in their lives after such a brutal change.

The little family then ate their dinner quickly and went back to playing at the children's insistence.

Bedtime came much to quickly for the still energized children who complained and stated they still wanted to play. But Derek and Emily convinced them to take baths and brush teeth with the reminder that they would get to see their friends at school tomorrow and also with a promise of a bedtime story.

So, after successfully putting Ben to bed, Morgan and Prentiss sat side by side against the bed on the floor in Carter's room. Morgan was holding the book full of fairy tales that Reid had left for the children. Maggie had naturally picked the one about the prince and the princess. So the supposed husband and wife began to dramatically read the story aloud to the children on their laps.

She used her hands and eyes expressively as they rotated through the changing voices and characters. The children were singularly engaged in the two adults' rather ridiculous rendition of their book but Derek was only interested in his female counterpart. He couldn't help but keep darting his eyes over to admire her smile, laugh at her ridiculous rendition of a princess voice and his heart was overjoyed by the sound of her infectious laughter when the children laughed along too.

Emily finally noticed his stare on her. She was reading one of the last pages and it was almost his turn. So she turned her head closer in his direction as she kept glancing up at him. Emily was usually so professional and able to control her emotions but she couldn't deny the fact that being this close, merely inches from his face, made her heart burn to get even closer.

This operation had thrown her for a loop. She rationalized her feelings were just the product of living in such close proximity with one another, their combined goal of protecting the children and the danger of the unsub. However, the comfort from her nightmares that was becoming more and more habit than spontaneity remained in the back of her mind. She had always loved spending time with Derek, even more so since her return; but lately, she found herself not just wanting it but also needing it.

And if she could only read his mind, his thoughts were a perfect mirror of her own. The children finally went to bed after they were assured that the prince saved the princess with a kiss and they lived happily ever after.

The thunderstorm beat down hard against the windows of the house as Emily sat in the bed reading her book while Derek had just finished getting ready for bed in the master bathroom. She had finally found the time to get past the first chapter of the book she was so eager to read when suddenly, she saw the bedroom door open out of the corner of her eyes. Instantly, she glanced up, ready for an attack; but her eyes rested on the small figure who's tiny hand was still resting on the doorframe.

"Maggie?" Emily asked sweetly as she looked on the little girl's tear-filled face. "What's wrong?" she asked Maggie who held her stuffed animal tight in her hands. Before she could answer, another gust of crack of thunder made the small child jump.

"I love my new room but I keep hearing scary sounds," she sniffed, but Emily knew the little girl must miss her mom and dad as well.

"Come here baby," Emily soothed as the little girl clamored up onto the bed with Emily's help.

Emily pulled the little girl tight to her side and tucked her in close. "The sounds are only the storm. Nothing can hurt you, I promise. It will end soon," Emily said as she hugged her tight.

"Can I stay here with you?" Maggie asked.

"Of course," Emily smiled down at her. Maggie snuggled deeper into the covers and rested her small head against her new mom, feeling safe and happy once again. At this moment, more light spilled into the room as Derek opened the bathroom door and walked out of it, stopping as he saw the heartwarming sight before him.

"Hey Maggie," he grinned. "Are you scared of the thunderstorm?"

The little girl merely nodded. "I used to be afraid of them too. But it's okay. Nothing to be afraid of."

"Is it your bedtime too?" Maggie began. "Are you getting in the bed now?"

With that question, as innocent as it was, Derek and Emily locked eyes, minds whirling as to how they could try to explain to the child why the two, who were supposed to be married, weren't going to sleep in the same bed. But Emily looked at Derek with a smile and a nod, telling him it was okay. She knew that eventually some time in the night they would end up curled up beside one another anyway, so she didn't see a point in delaying.

"Yes," Derek nodded as he made his way over. "So scoot over ladybug before the tickle-monster gets you," he laughed, lunging onto the bed as he reached for the little girl. Maggie squealed with excitement.

The three finally stopped giggling, turned off the lights and tried to fall asleep to the sound of the rain falling outside. Maggie quickly fell asleep because of the safety and comfort of her new parents. Derek and Emily however, did not get to do the same. Almost every hour they found each other's eyes in the night as they tried to reposition the squirmy and wiggling little girl, who's kicking feet and sprawling arms woke the agents too many times to count and morning came far too quickly for the two exhausted agents.

The alarm went off, eliciting a groan from Emily. "I'm going to take a shower," Derek mumbled to which Emily nodded, closing her eyes again and wrapping her arm around the still sleeping Maggie beside her.

Just a bit later, Derek came out to wake the girls up but it looked as though they already were. Emily sat there as Maggie sat cross-legged beside her, full of energy once again. Morgan could hear that Maggie was telling the woman rapidly about school, to which she smiled. At first, no one realized that Emily's shirt had moved, revealing her abdomen. In her continued excitement, Maggie looked down and stopped her dialogue to ask a question.

"What's that?" Maggie asked innocently as she pointed her tiny finger at Emily's scar on her exposed stomach.

Emily's breath caught in her throat as the little girl's cold fingers touched her abdomen and the question caught her so off guard. But that was nothing compared to Derek's reaction. He just stood there at the foot of the bed, watching helplessly and unmoving. He couldn't take his eyes away. He felt as if his heart had stopped beating when he heard Maggie's question and saw the evidence of the damage Doyle had left on Emily.

It wasn't that it was ugly, quite the contrary actually. To Derek, nothing about Emily could be ugly. He wouldn't deny the fact that he thought she was perhaps one of the most, if not the most, beautiful woman he knew. Of course she was stunning in her own right but his reasoning went so much deeper than that. She was intelligent, passionate, funny, tough and stubborn.

But above all, it was the way she cared for others that made him see the beauty within. It was the moments when he would stand in awe of her in the field, on this case even. She was so guarded with her own heart but she would open up for any and everyone she came in contact with who just needed someone, anyone, to listen and help.

And it was that wound that was the best representation of just how beautifully she loved. How she was willing to sacrifice everything for the love and protection of her team, her family. It wasn't the scarred skin that ignited the fiery burn of anger in his soul, it was the fact that anyone had dared to lay a single hand on his partner and think to harm her.

"It's just a scar," Derek heard Emily answer, but they both knew it was so much more than that. He tried, unsuccessfully, to blink back the tears and moved his head to look up at her face.

"Does it hurt?"

Emily paused before she answered. "No, not anymore," she said, but Derek knew she wasn't telling the truth.

"What happened? Did you get hurt?"

"Yes honey, I did. A very bad man tried to hurt me and did this to me," Emily explained to the child and her eyes then moved to Morgan's face for the first time during the exchange. She knew he had been watching her but she couldn't bear to see his hurting face for fear she would fall to pieces at a glimpse of the pain of their memories of that night. "But you know what? Derek saved me and made everything better."

"Like the prince saved the princess in the story?" Maggie asked expressively, as she equated Emily's story to the fairytale she had heard the night before. "Did he kill the bad man and then kiss you so you could live happily ever after?"

"Something like that," Emily smiled down at Maggie, hoping the answer was sufficient and the conversation was over so no more awkwardness would ensue. But she could tell by the sad look on Derek's face that this conversation was far from over between them. "You better go wake up your brother and get dressed for school, okay? I'll come fix you breakfast in a minute."

"Okay," Maggie responded sweetly and skipped off to Carter's room. Emily got up from the bed quickly, avoiding Derek's gaze as she shuffled past him towards the dresser. Derek instantly turned to her despite the tension from the emotional reminder that hung in the air.

She stood in front of the mirror but he just watched her, trying to stop the water from creeping into his eyes at the memory of her lying on that warehouse floor, so helpless as he held her and begged her to stay with him. He thought of not only the pain Doyle put her through but of her having to go through it alone for seven months. Wasn't that enough he thought?

"Em, I'm so sorry," he finally breathed as Emily then noticed how the image had so deeply affected him.

"Oh Derek," she turned and whispered softly. "It's okay."

"No, it's just not fair to you. I heard you yesterday with Maggie. I know you weren't just talking about her mom. Those months without you were some of the worst of my life," she started to speak an apology but he kept speaking. "No Em, I don't blame you. Just knowing you were all alone in those hospitals and hotels, then dealing with the nightmares with no one to turn to and knowing Doyle was still alive… I can't imagine how hard it was for you. You should never have had to go through that."

"Derek," she began tenderly as she reached out to touch his arm, her eyes looking thoughtfully at him as she remembered that everything he had said was true. "I meant what I said yesterday when I was talking to Maggie about her mom," she said. "No it wasn't fair that I had to go. I hated it, every moment of it. All I wanted to do was tell you. All I wanted to do was come home – home to my family. But thinking of all of you, knowing that I could protect you, had to protect you, even if I was far away – that got me through the pain – physical and emotional."

"You shouldn't still have to deal with the pain he left," he spoke, glancing at her scar and thinking of her nightmares. "Once he died, it should have ended, all of it. I just hate seeing you in pain."

"I know, but you know how I look at it? A little bit of medicine, some pain, some scars and a few nightmares here and there are definitely worth it if I can still just be alive to experience them." She smiled as she saw him realize the truth of her. It had taken her a while to get into that frame of mind, and she was still struggling to take up permanent residence there. She was getting there through, and Derek had been the main one to help her; and waking up and being able to see the team, her family, everyday again had helped her realize just how lucky she was, even if the road to get there had once seemed hopeless.

"I'm just so glad you are still alive to experience them, even if I wish you didn't have to," Derek said in response to her words as had he suddenly taken a step forward and engulfed Emily in his strong arms. She fell into him effortlessly, wrapping her arms around him and letting his comforting presence wash over her.

"Me too," she whispered over his shoulder, chin resting close to his neck. "I wasn't lying in what I told Maggie this morning you know. You did save me. And I'm grateful for that every day."

"And I always will Princess," Derek grinned caringly, a grin which Emily returned up at him in his arms as they thought of Maggie's comment about the fairytales. They stood that way for a bit longer, knowing it was longer than coworkers would make the intimate gesture but they told themselves that their circumstances were different. There wasn't a manual on the emotional trauma of holding your partner in your arms as they died in front of you, believing they were dead or waking up being told you can no longer be who you've always been and dealing with the fact that the only people you have ever truly cared about can never see you again. All of that but then getting a second chance you never thought you'd have – it was a situation unique from anyone else's… and was becoming more so by the minute. They finally pulled away, but both felt a longing to reach back for the other the moment they separated.

"We've got to get them ready for school," Emily spoke first.

"We're going to need our rest for tonight you know. I'm convinced Maggie is actually an octopus you know. I'm pretty sure my back has bruises from where her four legs and four arms hit me last night." Emily laughed in agreement before he continued. "You just get ready. I'll take care of the little munchkins," Derek smiled, rushing out of the bedroom before she could protest, leaving her smiling at how thankful she was that of anyone she could have been paired with, not just on this assignment, but from the moment she joined the BAU, she was given a partner like Derek Morgan – and she told herself it was natural because of the operation they were on but she still couldn't help but let her mind wander to thinking of him as just a little bit more.


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