Hey everyone!

Finally, the next chapter.

Thank you for all the reviews, favourites and story alerts. I love you all! :D

To Guest, thanks for the review! I know. The poor dears, but the story has to go on...

To Winter, hey there and thanks for the review! I think his ship-brothers do want to open him up somehow but it's not so easy when Ace doesn't even know he needs that right now. Oh, Marco's punch will do something...maybe not this Chapter, but maybe the next or the one after that?

To Guest (2), thanks! I'm glad you're excited for this chapter. Hope it doesn't disappoint!

To waterwolf, thanks for reviewing! I think so too. But then, while he's the older brother, he still has a lot to learn when it comes to the younger ones. No brother is exactly the same as another, after all. Thanks again!

ALSO, this chapter is a filler of sorts so don't expect too much. It'll be the catalyst for the next phase in the story so...watch out for it, yeah? As for "Stuck", I'm not sure when I'll update that yet.

I realised I forgot to write warnings for the previous chapter so here it is:

WARNING:
Please read this before you go on to the story. I do not personally know anyone who has ever suffered from depression before. Any information on depression I used is from my own research on the Internet. If I wrote or will write anything that doesn't reflect or represent depression correctly, I'm truly sorry. I do not seek to offend. If you have any issues, please PM me or something and let me know so I can make the necessary changes. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its characters.


I'm searching for answers
'Cause something is not right
- Dangerous Mind
by Within Temptation


Thatch was, as most of his brothers would say, a truly happy person. His childhood and later years weren't filled with much hardship. When he became Whitebeard's son, he could easily say it was the best decision he had ever made. He was surrounded with so many people to play pranks on, a family who wouldn't resent him for his love for the fun and exciting, brothers who would laugh along with him as he ran from his latest prank victim. And with the strength of the Whitebeard pirates, he hadn't lost any close brothers to the sea to feel actual grief. But on the days he did, he didn't smile.

Today was one of those days.

The fourth commander's smile fell the moment Marco's fist slammed into Ace. Somehow, he knew Ace's wide-eyed look in that moment would haunt him for as long as he breathed.

Ace crumpled to the ground, his elbows scraping against the ground as he clapped a shaky hand to his bruised cheek. Marco stood above him, blue eyes cold and absolutely murderous. For a moment, there was a period of silence where no one moved or made a sound. The soft wind breezed through the trees, rustling leaves and pushing through the grass as the river meandered beside them as obnoxiously loud as ever. Nothing was silent, and all things moved, but for the four pirates in the clearing on a small island somewhere in the New World, everything was still.

This was broken when Ace hitched on a gasp.

With a rush of startling anger, Thatch moved forward. His teeth bared in a snarl, he jerked the idiot blonde commander away from their youngest brother. His eyes bore into the cerulean eyes and, for a second, he wondered how he had ever felt the barest ties of kinship to the man.

"Thatch!" Namur warned.

The person in mind ignored him. No. There was something going on and Thatch was not a Whitebeard pirate if he let this go. He yanked Marco closer, leaving their faces only inches apart.

"Give me one reason, Marco," he hissed quietly. "Just one reason why I shouldn't toss you into that river and watch you drown."

Marco narrowed his eyes. "This has nothing to do with you. So mind you own damned business."

A loud ringing echoed in the fourth commander's ears. Before the phoenix could shake him off, Thatch pulled his arm back and with a single thought running through his mind, he punched the bastard across the face.

That's my brother, you asshole.


I follow the signs
I'm close to the fire


Ace remained on the soaked ground, his eyes wide and blank, not even registering the grass beneath him. He had stopped coughing. Yet, his throat still felt painfully raw whenever he breathed through his mouth out of reflex. He vaguely remembered the many times he had fallen into the sea but had walked away with a stern reminder not to breathe through the nose after that. It was always easier then. More air. Less pain.

His left cheek throbbed and the fire-user held a hand over the bruised area. Something wet touched his eyes. Marco had punched him. One of his favourite brothers had struck him across his face. Marco had…

He hitched on a breath.

A faint part of him registered some scuffle behind him but he pushed it aside. He couldn't help it. He couldn't help but suddenly remember how he had been falling to his untimely death from a cliff when only his brothers should have known where he was. He couldn't help but remember the suffocating feeling of helplessness as he drifted in the waters, knowing that no one would save him now. Couldn't help but remember the moment his eyes closed and everything went dark. A darkness he had felt for sure would haunt him till the end of time.

And then Marco hit him. Why? Ace had thought that maybe he could tell Marco everything. About how he swung from outright happiness to rage to downright dispiritedness where his world just went dark and there didn't seem to be any reason for him to keep on moving. He had wanted Marco to know how he couldn't sleep, and about the nights where he slept for so long but still felt exhausted afterwards. Bitterness flitted through him. He had finally felt he could admit the unbidden tears that would come for no reason at all.

"Ace…won't you tell you big brother what's wrong?"

Tremors racked through him.

"We're going to go complete this darn mission, head back to the ship, where we'll have a nice cup of coffee together, okay?"

They weren't going to have that cup of coffee together after all.

Ace could almost feel the hate directed at him as he just kept on lying on the dirtied ground. Why should he move? His brothers must hate him for being so weak.

"Ace?" Thatch's soft voice penetrated his increasingly dark thoughts and he jerked away. Disgust filled the teen when he saw the pitying look he received from the other pirate. "Are you okay?" Thatch asked as he reached for the teen's arm slowly, almost carefully, and like the meek child trained by the ever forceful parent, Ace allowed himself to be tugged into a half-embrace as his brother - were they still brothers? – as the pirate pulled him to his feet.

"Come on," Thatch whispered. His arm wound itself around his waist tightly. "Let's get you to the infirmary." The commander steered them towards the Moby Dick.

Ace's eyes widened then as the first rays of feelings flickered through him. "No!" He dug his feet into the ground. "No," he repeated when Thatch looked at him in surprise. "The mission," he muttered as he turned his body to look back at the cliff. His gaze brushed through Marco's rigid figure as the latter stood by the river, his back to him and his hands covering his face, and the teen stiffened. Namur was standing beside the blonde. He cast the fire-user a long stare but looked away when Ace turned to look at him.

He ruined the mission, didn't he? That was why Marco was mad.

"Hey," Thatch interrupted him. "We've completed the mission. It's all done now." He looked searchingly at Ace before moving again.

"But…" Ace faltered. "What about Marco?" he whispered.

Thatch's grip on his waist tightened and he winced. "Forget about him," he said darkly. "Let's just go home and then we'll talk about it, okay?"

The freckled teen cast his gaze to the ground as they made their way through the forest. "Okay."

The moment Thatch had said 'home', Ace wasn't left with a choice.


I fear that soon you'll reveal your dangerous mind


Marco stood by the shore, his proud back facing Ace as the latter watched in silence. Their family was just about finished with their preparations to set back out to sea. The water lapped at the commander's bare feet. It washed until just below his ankles, before receding quickly, as if afraid of the man's clearly veiled strength and power.

Somehow, this man whom Ace had looked up to even during his moments of self-denial before his initiation as an official member of the Whitebeard pirates seemed so untouchable. So far away. So out of reach.

"Marco?" he called softly. Without waiting for an answer, Ace padded towards the silent man. His fingers brushed the ends of the purple jacket. "Marco?" he tried again. "I think we should head back to the ship. They're almost done."

Again, there was no answer. Marco simply stood, rigid and tall, staring at the setting Sun. Uproarious laughter came from the direction of the Moby Dick and Ace turned, anxious to return.

"Marco!"

Like a miracle, the commander turned. Yet, instead of relief, dread flitted through the younger fire-user as he watched the phoenix turn to the source of the call: Vista.

"Yeah?" Marco hollered back.

Vista waved him towards the ship. "Time to get back! We're heading off soon! Unless you want to fly yourself over." The pirate snickered to himself.

Marco threw him a dry look but started towards the Moby Dick.

There was something wrong here. To Ace, it almost felt like a dream. His brother was walking away from him. He didn't even acknowledge his presence behind him. Something akin to fear danced in his stomach. "Marco!" He ran after him. "What's wrong? What did I do?!" When the blonde commander only carried on, Ace hardened his resolve. He was a pirate. He shouldn't be scared of his own brother.

The teen grabbed Marco's hand and yanked him back. "Stop ignoring me!" he demanded, glaring at the older man.

Blue eyes slowly drifted to stare him down. "What are you doing?" Marco asked slowly.

"What the hell do you mean? Why're you ignoring me?"

Marco raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid you have the wrong person, Ace."

Ace's glare grew fiercer. He fought against the drop in his stomach. "Then how do you know my name?" he hissed.

"I have no idea." The older pirate turned to walk away, but Ace held fast to his arm.

"Don't walk away from me!"

Marco snatched his arm away. "Let go of me," he commanded.

Ace looked at him in confusion. "Marco," he said quietly. "I'm your brother. Why are you like this?"

The commander's eyes turned cold, the one he reserved for enemies that weren't even worth fighting against. "We're not family," he sneered. "Don't think you can worm your way into the Whitebeards so easily. If you want to be one of ours, you have to get through Oyaji, but," – he glanced at Ace's form – "you clearly don't meet the mark."

Harsh laughter erupted from the freckled teen. "Okay. Okay, what did I do? Marco, please," he pleaded. "It's not funny. Don't play this kind of joke on me."

The blonde simply shot him a pitying look before showing his back again to the teen, his feet already carrying him nearer to home and further from the man he had sworn to be brothers with.

"What did I do?" Ace cried as he watched him go. "What did I do!? Marco!"

There was no answer. The heaviness in his heart brought him to his knees as the man in the purple jacket began to disappear.


It's in your eyes, what's on your mind
I fear your smile and the promise inside


Ace woke to someone slapping his cheek lightly. "What?" he grumbled. He looked around him. "Wha- Where am I?"

Thatch sat back in his seat, looking strangely proud of himself. "In the infirmary, you little punk. Gave us a right scare for a moment there." Noting the confusion on the fire-user's face, he explained, "You fell asleep when the nurses were treating your head."

The teen sat up. He noted the sterile white walls, the row of empty beds and the machines surrounding the room. Right. "Oh." A thought occurred to him. "My head?"

Thatch grinned as he leaned back. "Yeap." He enunciated the word with a loud 'Pop'.

Ace waited, but then went ahead when the pirate just stared at him happily. "What's wrong with my head?"

A look that Ace had quickly become familiar with plastered itself on the commander's features. The fire user tensed and, sure enough, Thatch launched into a worried tirade. "What do you mean by that?" A look of horror crossed his features. "You didn't lose your memories, did you? Did you? Damn it! Where are the nurses? Doctor!" he hollered without turning to look at the door. He slapped a hand against the teen's forehead. "No, you're not hot." He grabbed Ace's shoulders and shook him violently. "Do you remember me?!"

The freckled pirate shot him a dry look. "Thatch, very funny. Now sit down and explain to me why I'm here." When Thatch only grinned wider, he rolled his eyes. "Hopefully before the doctors come in and really think I lost my memories. 'Cause then they can't blame me if I land you into the bed over there."

"Want me for company already, don't you?" the chef laughed. He raised his hands in surrender. "You got me. It's nothing serious. You just got a concussion. Doctors said you received a blow somewhere at the back of your head. We just have to wake you every few hours while you sleep." He shrugged when Ace frowned.

"Oh. That's it?" At the nod he received, the teen asked, "So am I released or..?"

"Nope, not released yet."

Ace observed curiously as his brother discreetly checked the room over for other...people? Once the pirate seemed satisfied, he turned back to the teen, his expression solemn.

"Ace," the chef began. He leaned closer. "First off, I want you to know I respect you." He held up a hand when the younger looked to interrupt. "I respect you," he repeated seriously. "And I respect your privacy. I understand I may seem intrusive, but remember that it's only because you're my brother, and beyond everything, I care about you."

Oh. Somehow, Ace knew where this conversation would lead. He looked at his hands. "I don't want to talk about it, Thatch."

Thatch seemed adamant. "No," he said firmly. "This has gone on long enough. Hey!" He waited until the younger looked up. "Look at me, Ace. Look at me and tell me there's nothing wrong." A sadly triumphant look crossed his normally cheerful face when the fire user failed to do as he asked. "You see, you can't do that."

"There's nothing to talk about. There's nothing wrong," Ace said quietly.

The commander heaved in a deep breath before exhaling. "Marco punched you."

Ace winced. Yes, he did, didn't he?

"Why did he punch you?"

The freckled teen shot him a disgruntled look. "How the hell would I know?" he snapped. "I can't read minds."

"No, you can't," Thatch said carefully. "But no one besides Marco and yourself should know what the hell is up with you two." He sighed when Ace remained silent. "Ace, do you know how worried he was when he couldn't reach you in time? He almost threw me off the cliff trying to save you. We were lucky Namur got to you in time or you wouldn't-" He cut himself off as he looked away, his features grim.

"Or I wouldn't be here," Ace finished for him. He smirked to himself. "Funny how life plays out like that, huh?"

Thatch didn't look amused. "This isn't funny. First I see Marco going out of his mind because he couldn't save you himself, and when you're saved, he punches you in the face. Let's not forget how both of you were fighting before this mission even started."

"Why don't you just ask him?" Ace said bitterly. He recalled the dream he just had and unbidden tears sprang to his eyes. Maybe he's pissed I didn't drown. Stupid Marco. Stupid him. Why did he always feel like crying?

At that question, Thatch glowered at his hands. "I won't. He hit you. No matter what excuse he's made for himself in that stupid birdbrain mind of his, he shouldn't have laid a finger on you."

Something uneasy stirred in the fire user's stomach then. "Thatch," he began carefully. "What did you do?"

The chef closed his eyes for a moment, then stared Ace straight in the eye. "I punched him in the face."

Shock washed through the younger at the admission. "What? Why?!"

"He punched you. I punched him back. We don't let someone get away with hurting one of our own, remember? Whitebeard family rule."

"But he's ou- your brother!"

Thatch frowned at the slight catch in Ace's words. Disbelief marred his otherwise calm features. "Weren't you going to say 'our'?" The disbelief morphed into hurt and outright bewilderment. "Ace, he's your brother too. How can you say he's only mine?" he said indignantly.

Ace averted his gaze in guilt. "I-I know." The fire user pulled the blankets draped over his body and swung his legs over the bed. "I should probably head back," he muttered.

A hand shot out to grab at his arm. "Marco is your brother too."

That was the problem, wasn't it? It hurt all the more because of that. The teen gave out a long, drawn-out sigh. "I'm just really tired, Thatch. All I need is some sleep and I'll get better." At the disbelieving look he received, he added, "I promise."

The older pirate seemed to give in. Somehow, a part of Ace fell at this, but he angrily shoved the stupid feeling aside. This was what he wanted. Some space to think and then move the fuck on.

"If you ever need someone to listen to you, or even someone to rant on, I'm always available. Do you hear me?"

The fire user forced out a grateful smile and nodded. "I know. Thank you."

Thatch ruffled his hair, smirking when the younger glared at him and batted his hands away. "Get some sleep, kid. We'll wake you every few hours." Almost as an afterthought, he added, "And I mean, sleep here. I did say you weren't released yet."

"Oh, fine. Now go away and let me sleep in peace."

Ace sighed again when the other pirate left the room. He settled back on the bed, grumbling. The beds in the infirmary were never that comfortable. It was probably one way of convincing the ship's residents not to get wounded in battle.

Yeah, except you got hurt by falling off a cliff for no reason at all.

…except, Ace didn't fall on his own. He remembered vividly blacking out as he stood over the edge, and then he was falling.


Its' in your eyes, what's on your mind
I fear your presence, I'm frozen inside


The next time Ace woke up, he panicked. He had touched his head for his beloved hat when his hand touched his hair instead. He had looked the entire room over and finally he gave in and freaked. His hat was gone.

He belatedly realised the hat must have fallen off while he was happily drowning. It must have been swept into the sea or was eaten by those stupid sea monsters or got stuck under some rock where it'll rot forever until the end of time or something 'cause it was not with Ace where it should fucking be and the teen would never forgive himself for this and-

The inner tirade was stopped when someone slammed him onto the infirmary floor.

"What the hell are you doing to my room?!" one of the doctors yelled at him.

Ace looked up at him, clearly upset. "My hat's gone! Did you see it? Did someone take it?" He jumped to his feet. "Tell me! My hat is gone!"

The doctor had given him one look before shoving him out the door, muttering about inconsiderate patients who couldn't even keep from messing up the rooms of the people who healed them. At Ace's downcast look, he gave in. "Go find Marco or someone who went on the mission with you. They should probably know something." He closed the door.

Hope rekindled, Ace hollered out a 'Thank you, doc!' before running down the hallway. He'd find Thatch or Namur and, if that didn't work, he'd go to Marco. Surely the blonde wasn't still mad at him. Doubt flitted through him. Marco hadn't come to see him even once.

He pushed the depressing thought away when he saw the fourth commander turning a corner. "Thatch!" He skidded to a stop but still failed from slamming into the pirate.

The chef laughed even as he peeled the fire user from himself, obviously used to the kid running into him. He ruffled the kid's hair playfully. "Out of the infirmary and already kicking up a ruckus, Ace?" he teased.

Ace grinned. "Sorry," he muttered. A glance to his left and he stiffened. Marco was looking at them, a placid expression on his features. Blue eyes slid to watch Ace before he blinked.

"I'll be going ahead, Thatch. Oyaji wants to see me." Without waiting for an answer, he walked away.

Ace scowled. Thanks so much, Marco. He tried to squash the hope that maybe they could still catch that cup of coffee together if the blonde had gotten over whatever he was angry about with Ace. Can't he just get over it already?

Thatch coughed expectantly into his hand and the teen turned to look at him. Ace remembered the reason he had come looking for Thatch and the anxiety returned full-force. "Did you see my hat?" he asked urgently.

The chef raised an eyebrow at that before breaking into loud laughter. "I was wondering when you'd ask. Namur fished it out of the river for you. We'd set it to dry after cleaning it." There was a light twinkle in his eyes. "It's in your room, kid. No thanks to your wonderful big brothers."

Ace rolled his eyes but heaved a sigh of relief. "I'm not a kid," he couldn't help but add.

"Of course you're not," Thatch humoured him as he began to steer the teen towards the deck. "So, in order to be a mature adult and show your rightful thanks to your brothers, why don't we go play some pranks on the unsuspecting ones?"

"Wasn't Namur the one who saved my hat? And aren't you supposed to go see Oyaji with Marco?"

Thatch waved his concerns away. "I helped you dry it. Doesn't that count? And Oyaji only wants to see Marco. That chicken does the serious stuff." He then pointed at himself. "While I do the important stuff like lighten our loads and bringing laughter and joy to the family."

Ace snorted. "Whatever, Thatch. I'm going to go get my hat before we go bring about 'laughter and joy to the family.'"

Before the chef could inflict more damage to his hair, Ace ducked out of the way, already running to his cabin. He stuck out his tongue at the fourth commander and laughed when the latter called him out for being childish. As he expertly moved through the hallway, he was greeted by various brothers. Some even pulled him into a hug and reminded him to be more careful next time. Ace would just grin at them before moving on.

...

The smile fell the moment his cabin door closed behind him.


I'm searching for answers not questioned before
The curse of awareness, there's no peace of mind


By the time the week ended a few days later, Ace was more than a little hurt that nothing had changed between Marco and himself. The blonde commander avoided him and at the rare occurrences they do meet, he'd simply walk away without even acknowledging the younger's presence. No one but Thatch and Namur had noticed (though Ace suspected the latter only because he had been witness to the Incident, as he had dubbed it).

The fourth commander had tried to intervene but whatever they had been discussing in Marco's room had resulted in the former slamming the door before holing himself up in his room until he had to prepare for dinner.

remember that it's only because you're my brother, and beyond everything, I care about you.

While Ace felt almost touched, he couldn't help the accompanying guilt. The two commanders wouldn't be arguing if it weren't for his own weakness.

He did consider going up to Marco himself but the nagging feeling that Marco had been there when he fell wouldn't leave. The fire user had spent nights pondering on the possible sequence of events and…what other option was there?

He had left the clearing behind the boulder even though the first commander had explicitly told him not to. He'd gone to the cliff on his own and fell off even though only Marco should have known he was there (chances of unknown pirates would have alerted him). Ergo the blonde must have been mad at him for disobeying orders, went after him, pushed him off in his anger but couldn't save him in time 'cause the RedRum pirates got in the way. One plus one, he thought bitterly. There it was. The only logical explanation he could think off.

And the punch? Marco must have been furious with him for almost dying too.

Stop being such a coward, Ace. Go to him. Go find him. Make things right because, hell, this is all your stupid fault.

Sighing to himself, he got up and went to find Marco. His brother. He had to do something. The very thought that Marco would never talk to him again was too depressing for him to take.


It's in your eyes, what's on your mind
I see the truth that you've buried inside
It's in your eyes, what's on your mind
There is no mercy, just anger I find


"Get out."

Ace planted himself in front of the door, refusing to budge. Marco was standing across him, his hands crossed and his blue eyes narrowed into slits. "No."

"Get out," the blonde repeated. He took a step closer. "Before I make you."

The younger pirate swallowed the lump in his throat. He was barely able to bring himself to look at Marco and he hated that he couldn't. "No," he said again. "Marco, please. I'm sorry I left the clearing when you told me not to. I'm sorry, okay? Don't be mad at me anymore."

The commander in question only glared at him. "I think you're misunderstanding something, Ace. Yes, I'm mad- no, I'm furious at you. But it seems you still don't understand why." He pointed at the door. "So leave before you disappoint me further."

Disappoint me further… "Then explain to me what I did wrong!"

"What you did wrong?" Marco looked incredulous. In a flash, the expression was gone and he was bodily shoving Ace against the door. A fist slammed next to his head and the younger pirate stared at him with wide eyes. "I don't trust you, Ace," he hissed, his breath ghosting over the teen's neck. "Not anymore. 'Cause apparently you don't trust us either. You should know as well as I do how we place trust above anything else because that's what keeps us together as a family."

Ace gaped at him. "Of course I trust you!" he spluttered.

"Then admit to me how you fell off that damned cliff. Can you?!" When the freckled teen remained silent, the commander chuckled humourlessly. "Get out of my room."

The younger pirate reached for him. "Marco, please," he pleaded softly. "What did I do?"

Marco spared him one long, unreadable look. "You're messed up, Ace. Until you can answer my question, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you."

"But we're brothers!" Ace cried out. Yet, the cold look in the other's blue eyes made him falter. "Aren't we, Marco?" he whispered.

The older pirate closed his eyes, then pierced him with another of his steely gazes. "Brothers can trust each other." Without another word, the blonde pushed the teen out of the room and shut the door.

Ace was left stranded outside, unable to help but recall that nightmare where Marco had walked away and never looked back.


It's like spiralling out of control. You lose your sight, your hearing, your touch, your mind. You lose everything. And then you think you're going crazy 'cause everyone else is fine.
- Anonymous


That's it. That's the chapter. How was it?

I honestly think I have an issue with dialogue but...I like dialogues. What can I say?

Do leave a review if you're excited for the next chapter! And, if you have feedback, questions, constructive criticism etc., just shoot them at me!

Also, because I feel bad about writing about blah blah blah up there, here's a synopsis of what's going to happen within the next few chapters.

SYNOPSIS:
The tip of the knife dropped onto his pale skin, slicing a thin straight line down his palm. He watched, sickly captivated, as crimson rivulets trickled from the wound, forming a tiny pool of red liquid on the very palm of his hand. Like magic, his heart seemed to lighten.