Disclaimer I do not own Pretty Little Liars. I promise to try and update one a week, but I had an important exam this week I had to study hard for.
Emily's POV
I wasn't sure how to feel about Alison and the baby when I found out that she kept it. Him. I had run through every possible scenario of what would happen when I finally talked to Alison. I had got off the plane and drove straight to Alison's house. I hadn't decided what I was going to say when I saw her. I mostly just wanted to see her to find out if it was true.
I knocked on the door a few times, but they went unanswered. As I lifted my hand to knock (bang) on the door, someone called out to me. It was an elderly woman out walking her dog. She had been excited to share the joyous news. Alison had gone into labor and was in the hospital. For the second time that week, I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach. I nodded and thanked her. She continued on her way, and I made my way to the hospital.
When I parked my car, I saw Toby and Spencer walking in the parking lot. I watched as they stood and talked for a while, before parting in different directions. Spencer looked exhausted, but she still wore a small grin. Toby looked much happier than the last time I saw him. He didn't look weighed down by grief. They looked good. But seeing them made me realize how real everything was. Alison really was pregnant. There really was a baby.
I sat in the car for over an hour after coming to that realization. I could feel my lungs starting to close in again. But now was not the time. I forced myself to take in a deep breath, and got out of the car. My nerves continued to build with every step I took towards the hospital. The doors were automatic and opened the moment I stepped in range of them.
It was bright inside. It was a maternity ward, so it didn't feel like death the moment I stepped in. There were a few families spread out in the waiting room. Some people were pacing up and down the hallways. Some people sat tensely in chairs with one leg bouncing in place. The atmosphere was completely different from the other times I had been to a hospital.
"Hi, can I help you?" A cheery voice called out to me. My head turned towards the voice. There was a nurse leaning up against the reception desk, presumably talking to the receptionist. I squared my shoulders and walked towards them.
"Yeah, I'm looking for Alison DiLaurentis." I said. I was happily surprised with how steady my voice came out. The nurse turned to the lady behind the desk, who was typing into her computer. Her eyes brightened up when she found what she was looking for.
"She's on the third floor in room 36." She said smiling brightly at me. I forced a smile back and made my way to the elevators. Finding her room wasn't difficult. The three meant the third floor. Odd numbers were on one side of the hallway and even numbers on the other. What was difficult was seeing her again. The door was left ajar. I pushed it open a bit further and slipped inside.
Simply being in her presence eased all of my worries and anxiety away. They were temporarily forgotten. It seemed as if time only made her more beautiful. She was sleeping, her hair was thrown into a bun without care, and her chest rose and fell with each breath. I missed her. I tried not to, but I did. My feet carried me closer to her bedside without my permission. She looked younger when she was asleep. The last time I saw her, she had been stressed and sad. Heartbroken may be a better word. Now that I think back on it, maybe I was the one who broke it. But I was too wrapped up in myself. I know that now. I had only been thinking of what A did to me, and getting as far away as possible. I hadn't been thinking about her.
Usually I was always thinking of her. If I had only been thinking off her that day we talked, maybe I would have read her eyes instead of listening to her words. I will forever be sorry for that. I know I should have called. I should have stayed to make sure she was alright. But I didn't. And she didn't ask me to. She didn't call me either. She should have called me.
Alison adjusted her body into a more comfortable position, though she remained asleep. A lock of her wavy blonde hair fell into her face. I reached my hand out to move away the hair that obscured her face when I heard it. A deep breath intake and a soft sigh that followed. My eyes moved over to the other side of the bed, and I saw him. Air caught in my throat, and I dropped my hand back to my side. Without breaking my gaze from the tiny human, I wondered over to the bassinet.
I stared down at him unblinkingly. There was only one word I could think of to describe this child. Beautiful. He was dressed in a onesie that read "mama's boy". He laid on top of a yellow blanket. There was something spelled out on it, but it wasn't important to me. He was. I had never seen anyone so small. He laid on his back and made no movement except with his chest, that showed he was breathing. My eyes greedily took in every aspect of him. His chin, his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids, his hair… He was perfect.
I had only looked at him, and I was already in love with him. I don't understand myself. All the reasons that I had for not wanting him, for not wanting to be here, were suddenly minuscule. I don't know how I could have ever thought of this child as an extension of A. He wasn't. I didn't feel burdened by his existence as I had only minutes ago, when I was sitting in the parking lot. This little human being wasn't out to hurt me, or hinder me. He was the epitome of innocence, and I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure he stayed that way. The world was harsh and out to hurt him. I want to protect him from that.
I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard my name, "Emily?"
(continue from last chapter)
Alison's POV
The silence in the room was deafening, but neither of us made a move to break it. I knew that I would have to face Emily one day. After all we had been through, there was no way we could go without running into one another sometime. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. She looked like she did the last time I saw her. Exhausted and worn out.
She moved to sit in the chair Spencer had occupied earlier that day. I could hear Grayson breathing softly in the bassinet while he slept. My breasts were starting to feel uncomfortable, so I knew he would wake soon to be fed.
"What are you doing here Emily?" I asked. I wasn't sure if I was happy to see her or not, but I did know that I was angry with her.
"I stopped by your house, but no one was there. Your neighbor told me you were here. That you went into labor yesterday." She said. I sighed. I adjusted the bed a bit so that I could sit up. It was uncomfortable trying to move. I struggled to adjust the pillows behind me. Emily moved to help me sit up. I sucked in a quick breath the moment her hand came in contact with the back of my bare shoulder. Either Emily didn't notice, or thought I was just uncomfortable. Once the pillows were where I wanted them, she took a step back. She stood there for a second. She studied my face looking for any signs of discomfort. When she was satisfied she sat back down into the chair.
"Why are you here?" I asked again. She had no right to reappear in my life like this.
"I wanted to see you. To see how you were." Her voice was soft and her eyes kept flickering over to the bassinet and then down at her hands.
I scoffed. "You've had months to do that Emily." I said. I wanted to yell, but I had to be mindful of Grayson.
"Alison- ", she started.
"I haven't heard from you in months." I said, cutting her off. I wanted to scream and yell at her. But I was also relieved to see her. At least now I knew for sure that she was okay.
Emily didn't say anything for a while. "I know Ali but - ", I didn't want to hear anything else.
"I need you to leave." I said. Emily looked at me as if I physically struck her. She started to protest, but I didn't hear any of it. "I can't see you right now Emily. I can't deal with this right now. You can't just pop up like this and expect me to be okay with it. I didn't expect to see you anytime soon, and I need some time to process the fact that you're here. But I can't do that with you here. I can't think with you here Emily." She looked upset.
"When can we talk Alison?" She asked frustrated. "I may have been gone for a while, but" she gave an exaggerated glance over at Grayson, "we obviously have a lot to talk about." She was right about that.
"And we will Emily, but right now is not a good time. I just spent hours in labor and I'm exhausted. I just don't want to do this right now." She moved to say something else, but I interrupted again. "I promise I will call you soon, so that we can talk. I just can't do that now." I whispered.
Her eyes were burning with fire and her jaw was clenched together tight. "Fine." She said. "You'll call me soon?" It came out like a question, but her tone conveyed it almost as a command. I nodded my head, and she sighed in defeat. "Alright." She stood up and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Her eyes glanced one more time at Grayson. I couldn't read her expression, before she suddenly turned and walked out the door.
I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. I laid there staring at the ceiling for a few minutes trying to calm my erratic heart, when I heard Grayson moving around in his bed. Soon after, the room filled with his frustrated whines. I ignored the discomfort I felt and reached over to roll his bassinet closer to me. As I reached down to pick him up, his eyes flashed open.
"Hey there Sonny." I cooed down at him. I cradled him gently in my arms. I still found it amazing that he was here. I couldn't get over how perfect he was. His cries quieted as his face turned towards my chest. His mouth was open wide and searching for one of my breast. I let down the side of my gown to expose one breast. The moment it was free he latched on. One of his small fist rested on the top of my breast that he suckled from hungrily. While he ate I traced my fingers over is soft baby face, and ran my fingers through his curls. Having Emily's face fresh in my mind, it really struck me just how much Grayson resembled her. After that thought, I forced myself to push Emily to the back of my mind, and let my son consume my thoughts. Just him.
I wasn't going to end it here originally but the events I planned for the ending of this chapter would've been cut short. I didn't plan on Emily's POV being that long, but doing anything less would have been a disservice. We've had a lot from Alison's side, I thought insight into Emily's feelings were important here. I tried to show that Emily is not the "bad guy" in this story. This is just life and the situation with A is a total mind fuck. I don't know if I did a good job of conveying it but there isn't really a victim here, and the only bad guy in this story is A. I know in most fanfiction stories either Alison or Emily are wrong but I don't really want that to be the case here.
It's not like Emily knocked up Alison and split. Someone did this to them with malicious intent. I don't want anyone to be upset with Emily for her choices, when Alison also wanted an abortion when she thought it was Elliot's. The way I think of it is Emily decided to take care of herself and we'll get more into that in the next chapter. The only thing Emily is wrong for, is not checking in on Alison. And Alison should have informed Emily of her decision. Like I said I want this to have some reality in it. And in the real world no one is perfect and there are two sides to every story.
As always please review.
