Ch. 7
Will woke up for the fifth time when his alarm went off, and he sprung out of bed to avoid the pool of sweat he'd created in the night. Will was surprised that he couldn't remember his nightmares from last night, but he was also relieved because this time they couldn't haunt him during the day. Once he'd had a shower, Will dressed quickly and went to the kitchen to eat breakfast. While Will knew Frank was gone, it still felt like a punch to the gut to not see Frank waiting to be fed. Instead, Will's dad sat drinking coffee at the table.
"Morning son, have you seen Frank anywhere? I haven't seen him today and he didn't greet me when I got home last night." Mr. Graham stood and put his empty mug in the sink.
"Uh, well, Frank ran away. I let him run around and he went after something and hasn't come back." Will started to tremble and tried in vain to keep his tears from spilling over.
"Oh Will, I'm sorry boy. That's a damn shame, he was a good dog. Well, keep an eye out, he may find his way back. I'm off to work, I'll be back late." Mr. Graham headed out the door before Will could say anything.
Will couldn't help the sorrow that clung to him like a heavy cloak, dragging his mood down, down, down. Half way through his breakfast, Will lost his appetite and dumped his scrambled eggs in the trash. He brushed his teeth and headed to school a few minutes earlier than usual. Will's mind was preoccupied with adjusting the Frank's absence and made it difficult to focus on the road, so it was fortunate that there were few people on his route to school and he managed to avoid any accidents. When Will got out of his car, he found himself wishing he had pretended to be sick. Will didn't want to be at school, surrounded by people who didn't know or care that he had just lost one of the most important parts of his life. He felt more alone than he had in a very long time. His suffering only making him feel more isolated than usual.
Will realized too late that he was crying as he entered the building. Luckily, few students were around yet and he got to his locker before anyone could see his tears. He found some crushed napkins in a corner of his locker and roughly dried his face. Suddenly, Will realized a girl's voice was calling his name. He looked up to see Beverly and her two friends, Brian and Jimmy rushing over to him.
"Will, I've been calling to you. Did you not hear me?" Beverly didn't wait for a reply before she continued talking. "Will! You look like you've been crying. What's wrong?" Beverly patted his shoulder awkwardly as Will shut his locker and tried not to insult her by showing his discomfort. Brian and Jimmy looked at Will in confusion.
"Shit, Will, you look like crap!" Brian received a punch in the arm from Beverly. Brian turned to Jimmy looking for support, but Jimmy just shrugged at him.
"My dog…Frank ran away. I know he's never coming back." A sob wrenched itself from Will's chest against his will. All the students in the hall turned to stare. Beverly pulled Brian and Jimmy around Will like a shield and tried to console him.
"Hey, that's really negative. Maybe he will come back, he might have just found a really good scent to follow or maybe someone accidentally locked him in their garage or something." Beverly tried to smile and lighten Will's mood. He just sobbed more openly.
"No, no, he's never coming back. He's gone!" Beverly realized it was above her ability to comfort Will.
"Will, is there someone we can take you to talk to? Do you want to go see the counselor maybe?" Will focused on taking deep breaths so he could stop crying and talk.
"Can you help me to Hannibal's class." Will grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder.
"Hannibal's? Uh, ok, sure we can do that." Beverly kept her friends in a huddle around Will as they escorted him to Hannibal's room. Some students still stared at Will and tried to peer at his tear-streaked face, but most lost interest. They arrived outside Hannibal's door and Will knocked.
Hannibal was surprised to hear a knock at his door, but he figured it was Will. Actually, Hannibal was surprised Will hadn't called last night to discuss his loss further. He was also confused as to why Will hadn't seemed worried about what Tobias might try to do to him. It almost seemed like Will could tell that Tobias wasn't going to attack him for a while, but Hannibal wasn't sure how Will could be certain of that. Hannibal could understand Tobias's desire to watch Will suffer for a bit and let his guard down, but that's because they were similar. Will wasn't like them, as far as Hannibal was aware.
He opened the door and saw Will looking broken and haunted. Hannibal knew Will had nightmares and hadn't slept, and clearly he was still feeling Frank's loss keenly. What Hannibal didn't understand was why Beverly, Brian, and Jimmy were huddled around Will and looking at him expectantly.
"Please bring Will inside, you can sit him on the couch over there." Hannibal trailed behind the huddle of students as they walked Will to the couch. Will settled himself on the couch and looked to Hannibal, clearly hoping to be comforted. Hannibal turned to the three other students and gave them his most calming smile.
"Thank you three for bringing Will here, I am already aware of the circumstances that have led to this display. I will take care of him; feel free to be on your ways to class. There are only ten minutes to spare, and I can write Will an excuse because he needs my assistance." Hannibal gently ushered the three confused students from his room. "Thank you again for watching out for him, it was very good of you three. Have a good day." Hannibal waved them away to their first class.
Will sat on the couch and watched the three other students leave. When Hannibal shut the door and walked back to the couch, Will rose to meet him. Hannibal wrapped his arms around Will as the tears flowed freely down the boy's face. The whole front of his suit was soaked; Hannibal lamented the waste of such delicious tears.
Will's tears had subsided by the time the bell rang, signifying students had five minutes to get in their seats or be counted tardy, and students began wandering into class. Hannibal pulled away and did what he could to make his suit look less hugged. Will flushed, feeling guilty for the tearstains and wrinkles on Hannibal's suit. Hannibal wrote Will a pass, in case he couldn't get to his first class before the bell. Curious students eyed the pair as they lingered saying goodbye.
Hannibal stood close to Will, wanting very badly to lean in and sniff the boy before he left the room. Will wanted to cuddle up to Hannibal and never be separated from him, but the eyes of his fellow students made him self conscious so Will just stuck close to Hannibal as they loitered in the doorway, silently watching each other. Both felt strangely not exchanging their usual goodbye kiss, but, given their audience, it wasn't an option.
Will finally turned and went down the hall to get to his first class. Both felt as if they had left something important incomplete; perhaps forgotten to turn off the stove or forgotten to put on pants.
The feeling of walking around without pants on followed Will most of the day. He was embarrassed to admit to himself the number of times he casually reached a hand down to scratch his knee when he was really checking to be sure he had pants on.
Hannibal had a similar problem, and kept being distracted during his lessons by the panicked thought that he might have forgotten to turn off the stove after breakfast. Fortunately, Hannibal was confident enough in himself that he didn't have to drive all the way home to double check.
The horrible doubt of the existence of his pants only served to stress Will even more than having to act like a normal functioning human being after the loss of Frank. Will was withdrawn, even for his antisocial-self, but Will was usually quiet in his classes so most teachers didn't notice, and his classmates were oblivious and uncaring. By the time English rolled around, Will was sinking into depression. Will was increasingly tempted to skip school and cry in his car, but seeing Hannibal was just enough motivation to keep him from walking out of the building.
Hannibal assigned another reading day; the class only had a few chapters left to finish Crime and Punishment. It also allowed him to stand near Will and provide silent support while other students were focused on reading. Will sat with his book open on his desk, pretending to read as he thought about Frank. Hannibal stood to one side behind him and casually placed a hand on Will's shoulder. Will bowed his head and let tears fall silently while Hannibal remained stoic to avoid drawing the attention of the other students.
Will managed to compose himself in time for the bell to ring, and stood shakily. Hannibal steadied him as students poured out of the room around them. Once the class was empty but for them, Hannibal tucked Will under his chin and gave him a tight hug. Will hugged back and then pulled way. Hannibal glanced to the door quickly, and seeing no one approaching, gave Will a quick kiss and walked him to the door. Will felt more at ease now, and gave a half-hearted wave before going to Dr. Bloom's class.
Alana was upset to see Will shuffle into her class looking haggard and sullen. The rings under his eyes and puffiness of his whole face convinced her that all was not well in Will Graham's life. If class wasn't starting she would have liked to sit him down and have a talk with him. She considered sending him to the counselor, but decided against it because she knew Will was selective about whom he opened up to. She only hoped Hannibal could help him get through whatever it was that had him so down. Alana was really glad Will had accepted someone so dependable and sane like Hannibal into his life.
Will was somewhat comforted by Dr. Bloom's recognition of his sadness, and was grateful that she respected his privacy and didn't try to find out what upset him. It was nice to know one of the teacher's he respected cared enough about him to know when something wasn't right with him. Will left calculus feeling marginally more capable of functioning like a normal person, at least until he got home and could let out his feelings.
When he got to Hannibal's room for lunch, Hannibal was pleased to see Will was coping better. They sat down to eat in silence and, though Will was no less sad, they both enjoyed their meals. Will took his time getting through the food, but did finish it all, despite his lack of appetite. He balked at the thought of leaving anything Hannibal made uneaten; it would be like a direct insult to Hannibal.
Once they'd eaten and packed away the dishes, Hannibal sat on his couch and invited Will to sit with him a little before lunch ended. Will was glad to cuddle up next to Hannibal and leaned his head on his friend's shoulder. Will allowed himself to relax and tried not to think about losing Frank for the first time all day. He wasn't very successful at forgetting his pain, but he knew eventually it would fade. Will knew that he needed to let go of Frank, and that getting over the pain didn't mean he had to forget Frank. But it didn't make the process go any quicker.
Hannibal had to nudge Will and bring him back to the present when the bell rang. Will sat up, feeling sleepy and wanting to stay curled up against Hannibal. Hannibal smiled fondly down at Will's fluffy dark hair as the boy tried to nuzzle back into his shoulder and ignore the bell. Finally, Will accepted that he needed to go quickly, or risk being late to Mr. Crawford's class. Will pulled away and rubbed his face, trying to wake himself up for his next class. Hannibal took Will's face in his hands and leaned close. Will leaned forward, as much as Hannibal's hands allowed, and whined when he was kept just far enough away not to reach his lips.
Will laughed when he realized Hannibal had caused him to fully awaken due to the disappointment that stabbed through him for being kept from the kiss he had expected. Once Hannibal was sure Will was fully awake and focused on him, he closed the gap and kissed Will. It was a chaste kiss, like most of their kisses, but Hannibal found himself wanting to linger and kiss Will again. Will was thinking along the same lines and Hannibal had to make up his mind quickly.
He opted for the safer option, and placed feather light kisses on Will's face. Hannibal could tell Will was somewhat confused, but he smiled at Hannibal when he pulled away. Finally they made their way to the door, and Hannibal waved Will goodbye before his students started to arrive.
Mr. Crawford annoyed Will after class; he made Will stay behind a bit to ask him if he was having problems. Will was touched Mr. Crawford cared, but he wished he would mind his own business. Mr. Crawford was one of those confident leader type men, like Hannibal, but unlike Hannibal, he was not in tune to other's points of view. Mr. Crawford only knew he saw Will suffering and believed it to be his responsibility to find out what the cause was and make Will talk about it. He never considered that Will would be better off coping with his problems on his own or seeking his own confidante.
Will was relieved when the day finally ended and he could head home. The drive wasn't too bad and Will arrived earlier than he had in a while. He wandered in to his house, only pausing momentarily outside the front door, remembering the horror he felt when he saw the door lying open. He quickly brushed the image from his mind and ran to his room to flop on his bed. Will was emotionally exhausted and fell asleep before his head even hit his pillow.
A couple hours later, Will awoke to the orangey sunset making his room glow eerily. He felt disoriented and uneasy; knowing he was alone in the house did nothing to comfort him. Will rubbed his eyes and stood up. Feeling dizzy; he got a glass of water from the kitchen. Once he was hydrated, Will felt more awake and his house seemed more welcoming despite the lighting. Will didn't have any homework that day, and without Frank to play with, Will wasn't sure what to do. Finally, Will decided to call Hannibal.
"Hello Will, how are you coping?" Hannibal stroked Abigail as she napped in his lap. Hannibal had been in the middle of an interesting novel, but it could wait for Will.
"Hi, I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to walk through the woods alone and I can't play with Frank around the house anymore. I don't know what to do but sit and think about how much I miss Frank." Hannibal listened to Will's sniffling on the other side of the phone and wished he could be there to gather those precious tears in a vial.
"Don't worry Will, I will come over and visit you if you like. I can bring Abigail if you think she will be a welcome distraction." Abigail purred in Hannibal's lap and stretched out, hoping to have her belly petted. Hannibal didn't disappoint her.
"Oh yes please bring her, I'd love to see her again. My dad is going to be out late as usual, so you don't have to worry about having to leave in a hurry." Will listened closely and thought he could make out Abigail purring in the background.
"Very well Will, we will see you in a little bit. Goodbye, until then." Hannibal waited for Will's "goodbye" to follow and then hung up. He picked up Abigail and carried her to the car cradled against his chest. She settled into the passenger seat and waited patiently for Hannibal, who returned to the house briefly to grab a bag of ingredients. He figured he aught to go ahead and cook for Will while he was visiting, it was such a pleasure to watch Will appreciate his food.
Will sat at his kitchen table, waiting for Hannibal to arrive. When he heard Hannibal's car pull in, he ran out the door to greet him. Hannibal stepped out of his car with a bag on one arm and Abigail cradled in the other. Will smiled and rushed over to take the bag and led the way into the kitchen. Hannibal passed Abigail over to Will and washed his hands in the sink.
"Play with Abigail while I make us a small dinner. It shouldn't take too long." Will nodded and sat on the living room floor and petted Abigail. He would have preferred to sit on the couch and pet her, but he wasn't ready to sit there yet, if he ever would be. It was too much of a reminded that his dog had been taken from this home and murdered.
Abigail became playful and started nipping at Will's hands as he petted her belly. Will wouldn't have tolerated such rude behavior, but he knew she was just playing, and she wasn't his cat to reprimand.
Hannibal leaned in to the room and let Will know the food was ready. Will looked to Hannibal and nodded while absentmindedly wiggling his fingers for Abigail to bat at. She hooked her claws into his finger and bit down, startling Will. He couldn't help the little yelp that escaped, though she'd only done a little damage. He inspected his finger, just a few punctures and drops of blood to match, not overly painful, but he found himself feeling upset by Abigail's disrespect for him.
Hannibal rushed into the room upon hearing Will's yelp. He saw the boy sitting on the floor staring at his finger, catching sight of a few drops of blood. Hannibal didn't care for blood so much, but the thought of Will's blood made Hannibal feel like he was burning. He rushed to Will's side and scooped Abigail up, plopping her on the armrest of the couch. Will's eyes had followed Abigail, and he flinched when he saw her placed on the couch. Hannibal ignored that for the moment and took Will's injured hand in his.
It really was only a few small scratches and some teeth marks, but even the tiny little red droplets had Hannibal dreaming of drinking all the blood from the boy's body. It wasn't that he wanted to hurt Will, he just wanted to have piece of Will with him and become a part of his existence. It brought to mind a passage from Khalil Gibran's The Prophet,
"And when you crush an apple with your teeth, say to it in your heart,
"Your seeds shall live in my body,
And the buds of your tomorrow shall blossom in my heart,
And your fragrance shall be my breath,
And together we shall rejoice through all the seasons."
Hannibal couldn't think of a valid excuse to lick Will's cuts, so he finally got a hold of himself and led Will to the sink. He helped Will clean the cuts, but didn't bother bandaging them. They were small enough that in a few minutes Hannibal doubted Will would even remember they existed. Once Will was clean, Hannibal decided it was time to make Will confront his fear.
Hannibal led Will back to the living room and to the couch. Will complied until the last second, and refused to sit. He stared at the floor and gripped Hannibal's hands tightly in his. Hannibal let Will stand there and pulled his hands away before going in to the kitchen and bringing back their plates. Hannibal sat down and put the plates on the coffee table he pulled closer for ease.
Will still stood in front of the seat next to Hannibal, staring at the ground. Hannibal was patient, and waited until Will began to shake and he could tell that Will was considering sitting down.
Finally, Hannibal placed a hand flat against Will's stomach and pushed him down onto the seat beside him. Will looked shocked, and somewhat angry, but then it all faded and Will curled up into himself and avoided looking at Hannibal. Hannibal gave Will some time to work through things in his mind before he pulled Will close to his side, similar to how they would sit when in Hannibal's library. Will was stiff at first but finally he settled and cuddled closer to Hannibal.
"I'm sorry for what happened to Frank, Will, but you can't let everything associated with him continue to affect you. You will never move on that way. I want to help you cope." Will nodded against Hannibal and tried to hide a sniffle as Hannibal stroked his hair. "Come, let us eat." Hannibal reached for the plate he meant for Will and put it on his lap. Will sat up a little and leaned on Hannibal's shoulder as Hannibal sliced up the food into bite size pieces.
Hannibal was pleased when Will offered no more resistance and accepted the food Hannibal held out on the fork. As Hannibal fed Will, he placed an arm around the boy and held him close to his side. Will leaned heavily on Hannibal and curled his feet up under himself as he accepted forkful after forkful.
Half way through with the meal, Will paused before taking the next mouthful and buried his face in Hannibal's shoulder. Hannibal put the fork down and pushed Wills hair off of his forehead, Will was very warm, but not quite feverish.
Hannibal couldn't resist tasting the little beads of sweat that lingered on Will's forehead, and placed little kisses all along his brow to mask the little licks he allowed himself. Hannibal tasted fear, confusion, and sadness; so delicious a mixture in his opinion.
If Will felt the light touches of Hannibal's tongue on his forehead, he gave no indication. He sat still and let Hannibal shower him with kisses as he clung to his side. When Hannibal pulled away and ran a hand through Will's hair again, Will propped his chin on Hannibal's shoulder and whined. Will might have been embarrassed by his odd behavior, but he was in a daze, and couldn't find the energy for embarrassment. Hannibal understood Will, and began to feed him again.
Abigail became jealous of all the attention Will was getting and walked over, rubbing against Hannibal's side, and then moving to nap in Will's lap when Hannibal ignored her to keep feeding Will.
Hannibal put Will's plate on the table once he'd finished all the food, and pulled his own plate into his lap. Will napped with Abigail while Hannibal ate; Hannibal hoped the nap would help Will catch up on some of the sleep he was missing due to nightmares. He wanted Will receptive to him, and vulnerable, but he didn't want Will to require serious medical attention from lack of sleep. When Hannibal had finished eating, he gentle separated Will from his side and took the dirty dishes to clean in the sink.
Will was awake and looking around for him by the time Hannibal reentered the room.
"Can we go for a walk? I need help…I don't want to remember how scared I was last time I was in the woods, and I want to show Tobias that he hasn't changed me. He can't mold me." Will stood up and walked to the front door. Hannibal only paused for a second before scooping Abigail into his arms and following Will out of the door.
"Will, what did you mean by Tobias molding you? And if you don't mind me asking, how did you know Frank was taken and how to find him?" Hannibal looked innocently curious, but inside he was very serious. Will seemed to have a sort of sixth sense for criminals, and it could prove ruinous for their friendship. Will linked arms with Hannibal as they walked and took Abigail to pet as he spoke. Hannibal followed the worn trails he'd noticed the other day, and led Will through the woods as the boy explained Tobias's motivations.
Hannibal was surprised by the little details Will had picked up on and how he was able to empathize with Tobias from the evidence left. He mentally relaxed; as long as Will could only understand a killer's mind by seeing a crime scene, then Hannibal could continue as his friend. There was no reason for Will to see one of his kills, if he did it would already be too late for dear Will.
Once Will finished explaining what he had learned about Tobias, they passed the rest of the walk in easy silence. They alternated who got to cuddle Abigail, who was soaking up the attention like a sponge. Will was really grateful Hannibal went on the walk with him, and had helped him talk through his horrible ordeal from the day before. He knew it wasn't healthy to keep things inside, but he only had Hannibal to talk to anyways.
They were getting back to the house when Will glanced ahead and saw Tobias was on his porch, watching them. Will froze, and Hannibal soon followed Will's line of sight to Tobias.
Hannibal was shocked by his own protectiveness when he saw Tobias staring down at him and Will. He pulled Will closer to him and stared back at Tobias. He could feel Will's anger and fear bubbling just below the surface, and dreamed for a second that he could incite Will to take revenge. The picture of Will bathed in Tobias's blood, handing the organs to Hannibal came to mind, but he quickly pushed the image to the side and focused on the present.
Will's fear was taking over, and Hannibal could feel him quivering in his grasp. He pulled Will to face him, so Will was looking away from Tobias, and Abigail could be hidden between them. Hannibal wasn't about to let Tobias know there was another animal he could kill.
Hannibal wrapped his arms around Will, pulling him close, but not too tight so Abigail wouldn't be uncomfortable. Hannibal wanted to show Tobias that Will was his; the little flicker of jealousy Hannibal hadn't wanted to admit to feeling when Will described Tobias wanting to make Will into his masterpiece came back full force.
Hannibal looked directly at Tobias and smiled. Will was watching Hannibal, waiting for a cue to follow, and was confused by the dark look in Hannibal's eyes. Hannibal's teeth glinted between his red lips, making him look predatory, and Will instinctively flinched as Hannibal leaned towards him. Hannibal caught the slight movement from Will, and relaxed his face to appear calm.
"Don't worry Will, we just have to put on a little show for Tobias. You must trust me." Will was embarrassed for having been frightened of his best friend, and nodded quickly. Hannibal kept one hand around Will and used the other to hold the back of his neck. He glanced up at Tobias again before placing tender kisses all over Will's face and lingering on his mouth. Hannibal did his best not to get carried away, and pulled back when he felt Will's knees buckle. Holding Will steady, he steered the dazed boy back to the house and helped him inside.
"I'm sorry Will." He said as he placed him on the couch, "I hope I didn't overwhelm you, but we must be sure Tobias thinks he has no chance with you." Despite clearly being miles away, Will nodded. Abigail wiggled out of Will's grasp and fuzzed Hannibal's leg before trotting to the door and meowing. "I think I should leave now, take care Will. Let me know if Tobias still bothers you, ok?" Will seamed to snap out of a trace and stared at Hannibal.
"Oh, right, ok. I'll walk with you to the car. Let's go." Will led the way and Hannibal kept Abigail tucked under his arm on the side Tobias couldn't see. He tucked her safely in the car before turning to face Will again. Will blushed when he met Hannibal's eyes, and focused on Hannibal's tie instead. He felt ashamed of how Hannibal's kisses made him feel; he wanted to melt into a pile of goo on the floor and cling to Hannibal and never let go, all at the same time. It was overwhelming and he wasn't sure that was how kisses were supposed to feel. He didn't think Hannibal was affected the way he was.
Hannibal gave Will a considering look and gripped his shoulder.
"Will, kissing isn't something you should be embarrassed about. But if you don't want me to kiss you again, you can tell me so, ok?" Will looked up, panic stricken, and shook his head, unable to even express himself verbally. Hannibal chuckled and pulled Will towards him. This time he was sure to only give a chaste kiss and pull back before Will could tempt him into a second kiss. Hannibal watched to be sure Will got back into the house safely, before driving back home.
