It's been quite a while since I have updated but I decided to try and get back in to it, I'm not sure I've succeeded so I hope it's enjoyable. Thanks for everyone's kind reactions to this story (and for Aftermath, too, which I'll be working on next), it means a lot. Take care everyone :) xx
Chapter 7
Janet felt as if the whole world had come to a standstill as she continued staring at Rachel's eyes. She opened her mouth but no words came as her heart pounded frantically and her fingers - now hovering above Rachel's lips - began to shake. For a long moment, she wondered if she'd just imagined it, as if her mind wanted this so much that it was just making her hallucinate in an attempt to appease her but Janet dismissed this thought with irritation. Rachel had only opened her eyes for the briefest of seconds and was now looking exactly as she had less than a minute ago but, for Janet, this past minute had been one of the happiest moments of her life. Suddenly her brain resumed communication with the rest of her body and she quickly brushed her fingertips along Rachel's mouth before jerking away and yanking the curtain back.
"Nurse?" she shouted, not paying any attention to another patient's visitor who was looking at her with apparent indignation. "Nurse!" She watched as one of the nurses came hurtling down the path not able to wipe the smile off of her face as the nurse looked at her with confusion.
"What's wrong?" the nurse asked, pushing past Janet to enter the room fully and immediately going over to the collection of monitors, checking each of them thoroughly.
"It's.. it's Rachel!" Janet grinned, looking younger than she had in days. "She.. I swear, she opened her eyes! She's coming back to us!"
The nurse approached the bed, leaning forward to peer at Rachel. "Rachel? Rachel, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes for me again, sweetheart?" There was no response and the nurse glanced up at Janet with a look of discomfort. "I realize that this must seem like Rachel is finally making progress, but I do need to warn you that this isn't always the case. Sometimes, people in comas can display small signs of improvement but soon enough lapse back into their original state. I-"
"No!" Janet said fiercely, her blue eyes flashing as she stood tall. "I saw it, I'm not making it up! She's getting better. She opened her eyes for God's sake!" The nurse looked as if she were about to interrupt which caused Janet's anger to spike further. "Listen, you can be as pessimistic as you fucking want, I know what I saw. If she's opened her eyes once, she can do it again! She will do it again!"
"Janet, I'm not disputing what you saw. I'm just saying-"
"Well, don't. I don't want to hear it. Look at her monitors again. Isn't there.. isn't there any change?" Janet's anger suddenly gave way to desperation. She'd so wanted to believe that this was the turning point, that Rachel would wake up at any time now and get better. Wasn't that how it went on TV shows and films? This wasn't fair.
"I'm afraid not, love. Look, I need to update the doctor and he might want to come down and have a look himself and if he does, you can talk to him then, okay?" The nurse walked over to Janet and placed a hand on her shoulder before exiting the room and once again leaving Janet alone with her thoughts.
Janet sat back down on the chair and scooted closer to the bed, clasping Rachel's hand in her own once again. "I saw it," she whispered, giving her hand a squeeze as she got herself comfortable. "Fuck the lot of them, I know it means that you're fighting this. You did so good, kid, I know this is really hard but you need to keep fighting okay? You're not going to let them all think that I'm going mad are you? Well.. you probably would, you cheeky cow, but you can do that as much as you want when you're better so just.. come on. Prove them wrong, I know how much of a rebel you are, I know that you'll want to show these bastards just how much of a fighter you are." Janet reached a hand up, slithering through the tubes so she could brush Rachel's hair back. "I'm still counting on you to wake up by the time Kevin gets here so you can give him shit for eating all your biscuits. They were those right posh ones if I remember correctly, the ones we were going to scoff when Kevin was out of the office so.. he needs a good slap. And Alison is going to be so excited when I tell her what you did so you really have to get a move on and wake up properly, okay?" she stared intently at Rachel's eyes as she spoke, silently willing her to open them once more, wondering if she could hear her at all. "I spoke to Mum earlier, she's going to stay with the girls while you're in here. She's worried about you, too. And, oh God, people have started sending cards. You're not going to believe it when you see them, it's ridiculous. It turns out that you actually are popular! Who bloody knew?!" Janet continued to ramble about nothing in particular, just saying anything that popped into her head in an attempt to evade the silence that would surely engulf her if she stopped, her eyes never leaving Rachel's face as time ticked slowly on.
"Kevin, I promise you, if you don't stop playing with the buttons in my car you will be on tea duty for a year." Gill threatened as she glared at Kevin who was once more turning the volume knob up and down on her iPod player. His hand stilled immediately before ever so slowly moving until it was in his lap as if he genuinely thought that Gill wouldn't be able to see if he moved at a snail's pace. His foot was tapping energetically against the floor which proved he was still on a sugar high and Gill sighed, grateful when the traffic light turned green and she could start moving again. She'd, optimistically in hindsight, presumed that Kevin would get a lift with Mitch but no such luck. Mitch had to pick up his kids by 8pm so it was she who was lumbered with the office fool. She kept silent for the rest of the journey to the hospital, trying not to think of anything as she drove. She always found driving relaxing, she wasn't sure why but she just seemed to go onto autopilot when she drove and that was definitely soothing when she felt as wound up as she was feeling at the moment. Expertly parking in one of the few spaces free in the hospital car park, she got out and waited for Kevin before walking to the front entrance and lighting a much needed cigarette as they stood in silence until Mitch arrived. Gill was more than aware that her officers had seen a lot of truly horrific things in their line of work but she'd still made a point to try and drill home to them how bad Rachel looked. It was always harder when you saw someone you knew in such a bad state and Gill had wanted to prepare them as much as possible. Pete and Lee were coming with her tomorrow and she'd do exactly the same with them before they came.
As soon as Mitch approached them, Gill threw her cigarette to the floor and the two men hesitantly followed her through the seemingly endless corridors to the ICU ward. It had continued to be a horribly quiet day and so they were there quite early.
"Wait here." Gill said suddenly, whirling around and causing both men to halt abruptly. "I'll just go in and check with Janet and then you can come in, alright?" She waited for Mitch to nod before she turned back around and disappeared through the curtain. "How's she doing?" she asked gently as she headed towards the bed and noted Janet sat there in the middle of a one-man conversation.
"She opened her eyes!" Janet grinned tiredly, looking even more worse-for-wear than she had done when Gill had last seen her.
"Oh, thank fuck!" Gill breathed, the relief evident on her face. "What did the doctor say?"
Janet's face fell and a scowl appeared on her face. "He said that we shouldn't 'get too excited' about it. And then I told him to fuck off. They don't know what they're talking about." Janet growled, turning back to Rachel as she said this. "I've been telling Rachel exactly what they've been saying so she can wake up and give them shit."
Gill walked around to Janet and gently squeezed her shoulder. "Listen cock, he may be right. It might be nothing.." she noticed Janet's head snap up and spoke louder to stop Janet rushing in. "But.. they have to give the worse case scenarios when it comes to stuff like this, so he's just as likely to be talking out of his arse." Janet muttered something under her breath that sounded surprisingly petulant and Gill grinned in spite of herself. "The boys are outside waiting to come in. I'll just go and get 'em." She poked her head around the curtain, gesturing for them to enter.
Mitch came through first and momentarily stood frozen to the spot as he looked at Rachel. At the pause, Janet looked up confused, eying Mitch and then looking back at the woman who lay beside her. It took a moment to realize that it was just looking at Rachel that had caused him to falter and it startled her to know that by this stage she was kind of used to seeing Rach this way, it didn't cause her to be rooted to the spot every time she came in now. Shaking her head slightly in an attempt to dispel the thoughts, she glanced at Mitch once again before turning her full attention back to Rachel. Kevin soon followed and Janet could hear him audibly gasp as he caught sight of his colleague laid in the bed, her face and body covered in tubes and lines and drips and monitors. No doubt he was taking in the deathly pale tone of her skin which was only interrupted by violent looking dark bruises which seemed all the more sinister against the sheer whiteness of the room she was in. For a long moment there was just silence as both men looked at Rachel and Gill sat in the chair opposite Janet.
"Hi, Janet." Mitch said weakly, feeling flummoxed and out of his depth. It was amazing just how different it was between coming across this in a professional setting and having to face someone you cared about in the same situation. "Has there been any change?"
"She opened her eyes earlier which is a good sign, of course." Janet answered in a monotone, not taking her eyes away from Rachel. "I told her that you were coming to visit." Silence descended once again as they all stared at Rachel. "You can talk to her, you know!" Janet suddenly said, a hint of anger in her voice. "Would you like to be just fucking stared at if you were her? Say hello!"
Mitch glanced over at Kevin and they both shifted uncomfortably as Gill leaned across the bed to place a hand over Janet's. It was hard for her to see the woman who was usually rather unflappable unravel in this way. Especially as she considered Janet to be a good friend. She shifted her gaze towards Mitch and gave a semi-reassuring small smile, trying to silently convey that it was okay, Janet was just struggling to deal with everything.
Kevin took a step forward, clearing his throat as he did so. "Hi, Rach," he paused as he was met with silence, shifting from foot to foot as he looked on. "So, er, I'll pay you back for them biscuits. I only meant to have one but they were really good." Again the sentence hung in the air and he fiddled with his hands uncomfortably. "Oh, and Godz- Gill - DCI Murray - " he squirmed as Gill looked up with a raised eyebrow before hurrying to continue, "er- the ma'am gave that PC who.. who..' he faltered slightly, '.. you know.. anyway, she gave her shit. I think she made her cry. So that's good..." he trailed off, feeling completely idiotic for talking to someone in a coma, and took a few steps back until he was once again leaning against the wall, looking at Mitch with pleading eyes.
"We miss you, Rachel." Mitch said gently, inadvertently causing Janet's eyes to fill with tears as she determinedly kept her gaze focused on Rachel. "The fridge is smelling much too normal without you there to stink it out with unused food. I hope you wake up soon. We all do."
Gill felt proud of her team. This was obviously a difficult time for everyone but they were all, even Kevin, trying their best to help in any way they could think of. It hit her once more just how close knit this unit was, even though most of the time it didn't feel that way. She'd have to take them all out for a nice meal when Rachel got out of her. If she got out of her, her brain amended, causing Gill to curse under her breath which elicited confused glances from the two men. She gave a half hearted smile before standing up suddenly, the silence seeming almost suffocating. "Does anyone want a coffee?"
"Mummy?" came a little voice as Alison crept out of her daughter's temporary bedroom, causing her to turn around as her heart ached. Holly never called her 'mummy' anymore unless she was deeply upset or she was unsettled.
"Yes, sweetheart?" Alison asked as she approached the bed again and sat down on the edge of it.
"Are you going to see Auntie Rachel now?" Holly asked, her eyes peering over the duvet and seeking out reassurance as she looked up into her mother's face.
"Yes, Hols. I'm going to go and see Auntie Rach." Alison tried to keep her voice as flat as possible, knowing that if she showed the real emotion she was feeling, Holly would be petrified. She glanced down at her daughter who looked so small in the double bed and felt the unwanted tears begin to well again.
"When is she going to be better?" Holly knew that her aunt was very poorly and had cried a lot at school today. Luckily, her teachers were nice and they'd even made her a nice card which was on the little table beside the bed.
"I don't know, darling. Soon, I hope." Alison replied quietly, her hand cupping Holly's face. "You need to try and sleep now else you'll be tired at school tomorrow."
"I'm scared." Holly whispered, her eyes wide.
"I know, baby. Mummy's a little bit scared too," she said softly, brushing the hair away from the little girl's face. "But we have to brave, don't we? For Auntie Rachel. She wouldn't want us being scared, would she?"
"I'm going to make her a card tomorrow. Miss Griffiths said that I could."
"Well, that's lovely. I'm sure Auntie Rach would love that." Alison discreetly glanced at her watch. Of course she would stay here as long as her daughter needed her, but she desperately wanted to be by Rachel's side, even the bleeping monitors would be reassuring right now.
"Will you be here when I wake up?" Holly asked, shifting slightly in the big bed and turning on her side.
"I think so. I'll try to be. But if not, Janet will be here. You remember Janet, don't you?" Janet had met Holly a few times over the past year and Holly had seemed to like her.
"Yes." Holly fell quiet for a long moment, seemingly contemplating the situation. "And Elise. I like Elise. She said she'll make me a milkshake when I wake up."
"There, that's nice, see? Now, do you think you're going to be able to sleep, darling?" Alison whispered, "Or do you want me to put on 'Finding Nemo' so you can fall asleep to that?"
Holly looked confused. She was never allowed DVDs at bedtime, it was always a nice story and then straight to sleep. "Yes please." she agreed, a hint of bewilderment in her voice. She watched as her mother proceeded to rifle through the bags that had been hurriedly packed and brought to Janet's until she found the DVD and lifted it triumphantly.
Alison put the DVD on and pressed play, turning back to Holly as she did so. "There we go. I'm going to go now, okay sweetheart? If you need anything go and find Elise or Elise's granny, okay? You've been such a good girl, Holly. I love you very, very much." Alison stroked her daughter's hair once more and planted a big kiss on her cheek before hovering in the doorway. "I'm going to keep the landing light on, okay?"
"Yes, mummy. Give Auntie Rach a kiss for me. Love you." Holly snuggled down into the bed, her eyes turning to the small television in the corner of the room.
"Love you too, baby. Night night."
Alison hurried past the nurses station and pulled back the curtain to Rachel's room before approaching cautiously. Janet was sat in the same chair that she'd been in when Alison had left, and she seriously doubted that Janet had moved at all in the hours that had passed. "How is she? Any change?"
Janet turned around with a weary smile, her hand squeezing Rachel's as she did so. Gill, Mitch and Pete had left an hour ago and since then she'd really felt the tiredness of the past couple of days catch up on her. "Hi, love. She's doing okay. She opened her eyes earlier.."
"She did?! Oh, my God! When?!" Alison asked excitedly, hope bubbling in her stomach.
"A few hours ago. I would have called but.." Janet hesitated, ".. er, I didn't want to leave her incase she did it again. I didn't want her to open her eyes and not have someone she knew here."
"Yeah, no.. that's fine, fine! What did the doctor say?" Alison drew up alongside Rachel and held her hand, careful to avoid the drip that was attached.
"Not much," Janet answered carefully, not sure how much to say. "He, er, he said that we shouldn't get too excited but I do think it's a good sign."
"Of course it is.. of course it is!" she turned to Rachel, "Well done, sweetheart. I knew you could do it."
"How was Holly?" Janet asked, standing up and stretching.
"Um.. okay. I told her the basics, that Rach is in here and is very poorly but obviously I didn't go into detail. She's scared.. but she's a tough cookie, that one, just like her auntie." Alison gave a small smile, settling down in her chair.
"Good. I'll check in on her when I get home. Oh, Mitch and Kevin came along with Gill to see Rach, too. And I reckon she'll have more visitors tomorrow."
"That's.. uh.." Ali stumbled over her words, her concentration way down as she glanced around the room at all the monitors. ".. that's great. What time will you be back tomorrow?"
"Probably about 7ish if that's alright? Do I need to be here earlier? What time does Holly wake up?" Janet leaned against the wall, her body feeling heavy with exhaustion.
"No, that's fine, love. Holly doesn't get up til 7.30am and I'll be home by then."
After a couple of minutes of small talk, Janet cast one last long glance at her best friend and excused herself, feeling freezing all of a sudden as she headed to her car. Climbing inside she turned the heaters on in an attempt to warm up and started the engine, jumping slightly as the radio came on. Taking care to drive home safely, she sighed in relief as she let herself into the house and walked straight to the kitchen.
"Hello, love." Janet's mum said quietly. "How's Rachel?"
Janet explained the latest news as she nursed a hot cup of tea, making her way to bed as soon as was considered not rude. Taisie was already in bed and Elise was doing her homework as Janet climbed wearily up the stairs, popping her head around the door of the spare room to check on Holly as she did so. Holly seemed to be asleep so Janet closed the door silently behind her and gently knocked on Elise's door.
"Hi sweetheart," Janet intoned quietly as she opened the door. "Are you okay?"
Elise stood up and walked towards her mum, giving her hug when she reached her. "Yeah, we're fine. How are you? How is Rachel?"
"I'm okay but I need my bed," Janet grinned into Elise's hair before letting her go. "And Rachel opened her eyes briefly which has to be a good thing." she slumped against the wall, struggling to keep her eyes open as she peered at her eldest daughter. "Has Gran been okay?"
"Yeah. She made a really nice stew for tea." Elise smiled, settling back down at her desk and picking up her pen once more.
They chatted for a few minutes before Elise forcefully sent her mother to bed and Janet eagerly complied, feeling a sense of relief as she closed her bedroom door behind her and shut out the world. Shedding her clothes steadily as she approached the bed, she audibly sighed as she slid into the cool bed and pulled the duvet tight around herself. She turned on her side, yawning widely, and waited for sleep to take her, desperately trying to fend off the scary thoughts and possibilities that were threatening to overwhelm her.
