At some point, Janeway drifted into a fitful sleep, dreams full of beings made of aurora light that locked her in a cold sphere. Tuvok was in another sphere, asleep, but she could not reach him, or speak to him, because no sound came from her throat. Afraid and alone, she beat at the walls, until someone took her hands and held them. It was her security chief, in the sphere with her now. His features were kind, and his lips flickered in a near-smile. She allowed him to wrap his arms around her and stroke her hair, and the sphere and the aurora beings vanished, and faded into darkness.
She awoke to a knock on the door. Tuvok was already sliding out of bed, but the heat from his arms lingered on her skin, and it took her a moment to register that he had enveloped her bare back and sides in his arms to maximize direct contact with her, in order to provide more heat. She must have been shivering in her sleep. And if he had been touching her so directly, in all likelihood, he had in some way assisted her out of her bad dream. This situation was far beyond what she could reasonably have expected of him. She would deal with the visitor, and then order him back up to the ship as soon as the repairs were completed, even if they had to send a shuttlecraft.
Tuvok opened the door to their hosts, who looked very nervous by normal humanoid standards. Lir was peering around the room, looking for Janeway. She quickly met Tuvok at the door. "Can we help you?"
Kio shuffled her jointed feet. "The ceremony has not been completed. You have not Joined, and we are running out of time."
Janeway exchanged a raised eyebrow with Tuvok. So much for fooling them. "What exactly do you expect us to do?"
Lir stepped in slightly, and Tuvok immediately stepped in front of his captain. Janeway put a hand on his arm, belatedly realized as her hand touched his warm skin that he had no sleeves, and then wondered why the hell it would matter now. She slid her hand down his forearm and slipped her hand into his, squeezing it cautiously. Lir spoke as if to two children. "If there is no Joining of the Twelve Chosen, we cannot complete the Array, and the storm will not disperse its life-giving energy upon our lands. Was this not explained? It was discussed among us for many cycles to invite strangers into our most sacred ceremony, but Captain, you and your consort seem so vibrant, so pure and in tune with each other, that we in the end had no objections. That is why the others were asked to leave, and you were asked to stay. So that you could be the Twelfth." He took a step back, his hands reaching for his mouth. Tuvok's arm tensed, but Janeway held him still, and he nodded. Lir looked at Tuvok, and then at Janeway. His voice was shaking when he spoke again. "Have we made an error? Are you not prepared to Join? Are you not the Captain's consort, Second Officer Tuvok?" He turned to Kio. "Where will we find another for Twelfth for the Joining? It is too late!"
Janeway was ready to step forward and explain, to spare Tuvok any more discomfort, when Tuvok beat her to the punch. "Lir. You did not make a mistake. I am indeed the consort of the captain." He turned to look at her, and continued speaking. "I choose to stay with her, even in the most difficult of situations. Even when she chooses to disregard my advice and risks her life for the greater good of her ship. I would not leave her side. I have made my choice." He turned back to Lir, leaving Janeway speechless, which was certainly his intention. "However, you have made a mistake with the environmental controls. It is simply too cold for our species in this room. You must give us warmth. Only then can we complete your ceremony."
Kio looked up at the ceiling and spoke. "Computer access Kio. All environmental controls voice print off. Please warm in ten degree intervals until requested to stop." She turned to Tuvok. "I do not wish to spoil your Joining. We have four full cycles until dawn." She nodded and wagged her head. She and Lir backed out of the room. Janeway was certain they would not go far.
She turned to Tuvok. "What are you planning to do?"
"Four full cycles is nearly five hours, Captain. It is plenty of time to prepare for what I intend." His expression was carefully closed.
"What do you intend, now that we have to go through with this?"
"Initially, I intend to present you with a list of options." He sighed, gathering his thoughts, and guided his captain to sit on the bed. Facing her, his features as emotionless as she had ever seen them, he began. "We could make love. I am capable of erasing a memory from your mind."
She was nodding her head at his first thought, having already considered the simplest way out of their dilemma, but when he mentioned memory removal, she shook her head "Unacceptable. Besides, if we make love, Lieutenant Commander, I don't plan on forgetting it." She shot him a grin that she was certain he didn't appreciate, and he merely raised an eyebrow.
"I merely mentioned it, Captain, since it is clear that we will need to make an emotional connection. I am certain now that the physical act of sex will not be enough."
"Explain."
He steepled his fingers. "The way that the Laotir described our connection, and the clear emphasis they put on passion and the partners' willingness to be in the relationship. The fact that this is a matriarchal society, but the men are free to leave, even though they can also be bartered. Love and connectedness is clearly crucial to this ritual. If we cannot provide this, the ritual will fail, and Neelix will not get his vegetables."
Janeway considered this for a moment. "So you would not wish for me to remember if you are forced to render yourself… vulnerable." Her voice was not quite as free from regret as she would have wished it to be. Neither were her eyes, so she refrained from looking up at him.
He nodded. "That would not be the man that you now know and call… friend. Nor would you likely ever see him again. I would not want you to carry that additional… burden."
She looked at him then. "You could not insist."
He returned her gaze steadily. "It is what I would wish."
Janeway didn't want to argue just yet. "What are our other options?"
"One other. I could perform a mind meld. There is a joining that could create an emotional bond between us which I could remove later."
"Would you take my memory?"
He shook his head, not meeting her eyes. "Not unless you wish it. But I must warn you, that I can read your emotions across the bond quite clearly, and if I am not careful, you could read mine."
Janeway smiled. "I didn't think Vulcans had emotions."
Tuvok frowned at her, opened his mouth to correct her, and then reconsidered. "Ah, a human attempt at humor."
"I haven't had a lot of sleep, and absolutely no coffee at all." She rubbed her arms. "At least it's warmer." She thought for a moment. "I believe that the second option is the one I would favor, but I would like your opinion."
He nodded once. "That is also my choice." He turned slightly away. "Computer, stop raising temperature. Hold steady." A beep was his only acknowledgement.
She suddenly felt her earlier case of nerves return, and shook it off. "What do I need to do?"
"I will do everything." Tuvok climbed up on the bed and gestured for her to lay down facing him. He lifted her long hair off her neck and she rested her head on his upper arm. She could feel his muscles tense and then relax as he moved close enough to press his forehead against hers.
Janeway felt for a place to settle, and then frowned. "May I hold on to you for balance?"
"Yes, of course, Captain. I believe that no such boundaries exist between us anymore, at least for the duration of tonight. And until the link is severed, it will be difficult for you to resist the need to be in proximity to me." He paused, and then came clean with a visible effort. "It will be difficult for us both. The urge to be close will be very strong."
Janeway nodded. He was making her more nervous rather than less. After years of meticulous care in staying out of her Vulcan's personal space, even when she would rather not have, this closeness was almost too much to bear. Stifling personal feelings was only simple if you didn't have to face them directly, but the soft texture of his skin under her hand, the minute flexing of powerful muscles underneath, and the prospect of a tangible emotional tie to her closest friend, no matter the duration, was cracking her iron control. She wondered if he realized that he was stroking her hair, twining it through his fingers as if it was something he had longed to do, had imagined for so long that it was in his subconscious? She lifted her hand to his cheek and stroked a finger down his jaw and underneath to the silken skin of his throat, an action beyond any that she had ever allowed herself to imagine. He simply studied her, his hand twisted gently in her hair, his brown eyes fathomless in the dark.
"It is time." She nodded, but did not move her hand from the hollow where his shoulder met his throat. Through her fingertips, she could feel his pulse, and that made her feel much less lonely, for some reason, than even his nearness. He lifted his hand to the side of her face, his fingertips finding the points of access into her mind, and his eyes closed.
