Sorry about the later-than-usual update. I started watching the subbed episodes of -Man (before, I only read the manga), and I can't focus on anything else until I have seen all 103 episodes (it's a bad habit of mine to finish what I've started as soon as possible ^^; ). I'm currently up to the part where Allen shows up in Edo with his brand new Crowned Clown. I must say, the anime is really good. Except it has too many fillers in the beginning. And now I keep having the urge to say "arigatou" instead of "thank you". =_=

As usual, I would like to thank Shoten Shinzui, LOVElessLoser968, Japanimaniac, Karoomy-chan, Zenigami, Jigoku No Hana, Zack1996, Candyone11, and Dark-n-Light341 for all the encouragement. Reading your comments or even just knowing that you've fav'd me brightens my day. ^-^

Disclaimer: Not even in my wildest dreams do I own -Man. And my dreams are pretty weird; once I dreamt that I was being chased by a homicidal pink bunny. ^^;;

Now, I present…*drumroll*…Chapter 6!


"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," she said under her breath as she watched the chaos in front of her continue unrestricted.


30 MINUTES LATER


"Here's some more paperwork for the Supervisor, Reever-san," Johnny mumbled from behind the giant stack he was carrying.

"Thanks, Johnny," Reever said as he took the pile from the boy. "You can go now."

But Johnny didn't move to leave; he just stared between Komui and Reever as if they had both grown 3 heads.

"Er, Reever-san, why are you signing papers instead of Komui-san?"

"Don't ask," the men deadpanned simultaneously.

"But-"

"Oi, Johnny-kun, why don't you go see if Tapp-kun needs some help, okay?" Reever suggested as he pushed the stuttering boy out of the office and locked the door behind him.

Mentally exhausted, the man slid down to the floor and removed his beret. "This is going to be a long day," he sighed. "If only Komui would stop whining."

"Reeeeeeveeeeerrr, why do I have to do this noooowwwww?"

"Speak of the devil."

"Because, body swap or not, you still have to do your job!" the irritated Chinese man told his blonde boss.

"But I have to go and make sure Kanda doesn't do anything disgraceful to my beloved Lenalee's body!" Komui shouted, slamming his hands down on his desk so hard it threatened to topple all of his paper skyscrapers.

"Oh, come on!" Reever shouted in annoyance. "If it was Lavi, I could understand, but we're talking about Kanda here. He won't do anything."

"But why am I here?!" Mel piped up from beside Komui.

"Because this is the only way punishment I could think of that would make you seriously think about what you've done," Reever replied. "Not only have you put us all in a very uncomfortable situation, but you even forced Lenalee, Road, Kanda, and Lavi to switch genders. What on earth made you think that making Lavi a girl was a good idea?!" he shouted accusingly.

"Oh, don't worry so much Reever-san," the girl dismissed with a wave of her hand. "This fic is only rated K+. I would never go so low as having Lavi learn about the intricacies of female anatomy like that."

"What?" Komui and Reever asked at the same time.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," Mel quickly answered, laughing nervously.

Komui scratched his head in confusion at the girl's reaction, but Reever just shook his head and said, "Regardless, you still went too far this time, so now you have to stay here and help the supervisor sign these papers."

"What?! No!" Mel screamed in distress. "This is cruel and unusual punishment! I want to see what's happening outside!!!" Tears welled up in her eyes as she tried to give Reever her best puppy-dog face.

"Tough luck." Apparently, Reever had become immune to the puppy-dog face after working with Komui for so long. "If you don't stay here and help Komui, I'll tell Jerry to not give you anything to eat other than Brussels sprouts," he threatened.

"NOT BURSSELS SPROUTS! I HATE THOSE!!!" shouted Mel as she leaned back in her chair and pulled her hair.

"Well then, you better get to work," Reever said calmly as he walked out of the office towards the Science Department.

When he had closed the door behind him, Komui and Mel exchanged dejected looks before they got to work on filling out the paperwork in front of them. Since she couldn't forge signatures for her life, Mel was using a special stamp designed to mimic Komui's unique writing style.

"I wonder what the gang is doing right now…" the teen mumbled to herself as she dipped her stamp in the ink pan.


Road Camelot groaned in despair as she looked at the clothes-littered floor in front of her. After searching through Tyki's entire closet, she couldn't find a single outfit she liked. And she couldn't just go outside in his nightclothes again; that would be so tacky.

She ended up putting on a plain white shirt, a pair of black pants, and a jacket off the floor that she decided wasn't too ugly. She had to take Tyki shopping some time and buy him some real clothes. "I mean, who wears tuxedos all the time? Has he evenr heard of T-shirts or jeans?"

"Road?" The Noah jumped a full foot in the air when Tyki interrupted her mental rant. Somehow, he had managed to walk up the hallway, enter the room, and close the door behind him without her noticing. It was unsettling how sneaky he could be, especially since he was in someone else's body.

"Could you do me a favor and give me one of my cigarettes?" he asked his "niece" from his spot on the far wall. "I keep them in my jacket pocket," he added.

Rather than reach in the pocket and hand him a cigarette, though, Road shouted, "I'm not giving you a cigarette! You'll poison the lungs of my beloved Allen!"

"What?! I'm going crazy here!" Tyki yelled back. His low nicotine levels were causing him to be extremely irritable at the moment, and he didn't know how much longer he could last without a smoke.

"Well, now's the perfect chance for you to quit smoking. It's such a nasty habit after all," Road teased.

"Don't make me take them from you, Road," Tyki threatened as he started walking towards her.

Road scoffed at his attempt to be scary. "Hello, I can just phase through you," the Noah remarked in a mocking tone.

"Good thinking, Road," Tyki complimented. "Except you forgot that I'm in Walker's body, and he just so happens to have an arm made out of innocence," he added with a smirk.

An awkward silence emerged as the meaning of Tyki's words sunk in. Then, without warning, Road shouted, "See ya!" and ran through the door that led into the hallway.

"ARGH, WAIT!" Tyki shouted as he ran after his "niece". Unfortunately for him, his brain was running on empty, so he forgot that he was in Allen's body and therefore couldn't phase through walls.

So he ran full-speed into the solid oak door.

"I hate my life," the Noah muttered darkly as he rubbed his sore nose and reached for the doorknob.


"IYAAAAAAAA!"

Lavi's scream sounded incredibly girly as he tripped and landed on the floor face-first.

"Lavi, are you okay?" a concerned Lenalee asked. "That's the 8th time you've fallen since we started walking towards the cafeteria."

"I can't help it! It's this body! Miranda's legs must be different lengths or something!" Lavi complained as he peeled himself off the stone floor.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Lavi-kun!" Miranda gushed as she broke out into tears. "It's all my fault! I can't do anything right!" She fell to the floor on her knees, crying hysterically about how useless she was.

"Now look what you've done. Apologize!" Lenalee shouted at Lavi while hitting him in the head.

"Okay, okay!" he yelled as he rubbed the new bump on his head. "Miranda, I'm sorry. It's not your fault." Lavi soothed.

"R-r-really?" she asked through her tears.

"Of course!" the junior bookman replied with a smile. "Now, let's go get some lunch!"

Offering her his hand, Lavi helped Miranda up from the floor. The two then moved to join Lenalee, Allen, Kanda, and Krory at the entrance to the cafeteria.

Everyone got in line to get their food, and when it was finally Allen's turn, Jerry sang out, "Hello, Kanda-san. The usual, I assume?"

Allen's eye twitched at being mistaken for Kanda, but it was to be expected; neither Komui nor Reever had bothered to tell the rest of the Order about what Mel had done last night. Since Allen was too hungry to bother explaining what had happened to Jerry, he just said, "Actually, I want lasagna, chicken lo mein, 20 fried dumplings, 5 slices of pizza, tiramisu, cheesecake, spaghetti and meatballs, pepper steak, mashed potatoes, fettuccini alfredo, 3 hamburgers…"

Jerry's jaw dropped as he listened to the increasingly long list of food. After 30 seconds of speechlessness, he finally managed to utter, "A-Allen-kun? What are you doing in Kanda-san's body?"

"Long story," Allen replied with a pained look.

"Well, as long as you still have your appetite, I don't really care what you look like," Jerry said. And so he went off to cook the ridiculously large amount of food the teen had requested just to return 15 minutes later holding the whole order. "Here you go, sweetie!" he exclaimed, handing Allen his food.

"Thanks!" Carefully balancing his leaning tower, Allen made his way over to the table where the rest of his friends were already eating. Setting down the tray, he picked up his fork and knife and prepared to dig in.

But before he could get started, a concerned Krory asked, "Uh, Allen, do you really think you can eat all that?"

"Yeah, you're in Kanda's body after all, and he doesn't have your black hole of a stomach," Lavi added.

"I'll be fine," Allen assured his friends. "Now let's eat!"


10 MINUTES LATER


"Ugh, I don't feel so good," the teen mumbled as he held his rumbling stomach.

"That's weird. You've barely made a dent in your food," Lenalee observed. For some reason, Allen had only managed to eat half of his first dish in the time it usually took him to eat 5.

"I think Kanda's body is reacting badly to the non-Japanese food," Lavi suggested as he studied his now-ill friend.

"So you mean he actually had a reason for eating nothing but soba?" Allen asked. "Why didn't you warn me, Kanda?"

Kanda, who had been quietly eating his soba, replied, "Che, you never asked, Moyashi."

"It's All-" the boy started but stopped as a groan escaped his lips. "Ugh, I think I'm gonna puke." Sure enough, Allen's face took on a distinctive green tinge, and he clamped his hands over his mouth.

"Not in my body, you're not," Kanda threatened from across the table.

Just when it seemed like Allen was going to hurl in the middle of lunch, one of the entrances to the cafeteria flew open as a flash of white streaked by the exorcists' table.

"I finally got it!" someone with a British accent screamed in delight as the flash ran through another cafeteria entrance.

This was quickly followed by a "Don't you dare light that cigarette, Tyki!" and a black steak running in the same direction.

"Was that Road-chan and Tyki-san?" Miranda asked, staring at the entrance they had just raced through.

"I think so," said Lavi.

"What do you think they were doing, Allen-kun?" Lenalee asked her friend. When he didn't respond, she looked over to find that Allen was staring at the cafeteria entrance with a completely blank expression. "Allen? Allen?!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him to try to get his attention. "Allen, snap out of it!"

But he didn't hear her nor did he notice being shaken. He was too busy thinking about what he had just seen. "Tyki managed to get something from Road. Who is in his body. The only thing he could want from her is something he felt he needed that he always kept on his person. Tyki is a smoker. So he's addicted to cigarettes. Like Master. So he probably took a cigarette. Cigarettes make everything around them smell like smoke. And Tyki was about to smoke. In my body. So I would smell like smoke for the next week. Just like Master…"

Lenalee practically fell out of her seat as Allen suddenly stood up and reached for Mugen (he's in Kanda's body, remember?). Before she could ask what was wrong, an alarmingly powerful killing aura emerged from the boy. "Oh Tyki," Allen said in a dark sing-songy voice that sounded 10 times scarier coming from Kanda, "if you light that cigarette…"

Suddenly, the aura's concentration increased 10 fold. "I WILL CHOP YOU UP INTO LITTLE, BITE-SIZED PIECES AND FEED THEM TO PIRAHNAS!!!" he screamed as he unsheathed Mugen and ran off after the Noah, stomach upset apparently forgotten.

Everyone stared on in shock as the usually docile Allen Walker ran off to murder Tyki. Except for Kanda, who just took a sip of his green tea and smirked.

"Looks like the Moyashi has a backbone after all."


LATER THAT DAY…


"Just one more minute until 8," Lenalee announced as she relaxed on her brother's couch, clock close at hand. For the past half an hour, the whole gang except for two Noahs and an exorcist had been hanging out in Komui's office because Reever figured it would be best if everyone was close by for the second body swap.

"Thank god, I thought today would never end," Lavi sighed as he held an ice pack to his head. The poor exorcist had fallen 43 times in the course of the day; it was a miracle he didn't have a concussion by now.

"Tell me about it," Mel agreed from beside the junior bookman. "I was locked in Komui's office all day stamping papers. Do you know how boring that is?!" she shouted dramatically.

"Finally, someone understands me!" Komui exclaimed, crying tears of joy.

"Aw, shut up, you two," commanded Reever from behind the newspaper he was reading.

"No! Today was really horrible!" Mel complained. "I didn't even get to see how funny Kanda would look with Allen's personality!"

"Hey, where are Tyki, Road, and Allen anyway?" Miranda inquired.

"I haven't seen them since they ran out of the cafeteria," Lavi answered. "Maybe they-"

"Argh, stay the hell away from me, Road!" someone screamed from outside the office. Judging from the voice, the scream had come from a certain Japanese exorcist. Or rather the person who was in said exorcist's body.

"But Allen, I just want to kiss you," Road whined. It didn't sound as cute as it was intended to on account of the person whining was technically a full-grown man.

"How many times do I have to say it? I. Don't. Like. You." The teen was careful to emphasize the "don't" in the last sentence.

Everyone stared at the door as several loud thuds and bangs were heard from beyond it. Suddenly, Tyki's voice sang out, "Hah, I got you now!"

"No!" The door leading into the office suddenly fell from its hinges into the room to reveal Road on top of a stunned Allen, lips locked in a pretty intense kiss.

As soon as the two landed, the clock struck eight, and the office was immersed in a bright, white light.

After 5 seconds, the light receded to reveal everybody standing/sitting right where they were before, except they were now in their correct bodies.

But no one really cared about that at the moment; they were too focused on the sight of Tyki lying on top of Kanda. Kissing.

They probably stayed like that for a good 30 seconds before Kanda's brain started working again and he kicked Tyki off of him, sending him through the ceiling (which Tyki forgot to phase through). Then he got up and walked out of the office, not bothering to turn around to face his comrades. Unfortunately, he didn't leave fast enough, and everyone caught a glimpse of the samurai's flushed cheeks.

After a long, stunned silence, Mel leaned over and whispered excitedly into Lavi's ear, "I change my mind; today was like a dream come true."


And so ends the Body Swap Incident. I hope you all enjoyed that small dose of KandaxTyki. I usually don't write any yaoi, so if you don't like that sort of thing, don't worry; this is as hardcore as it's gonna get.
And if you do like that sort of thing…this is as hardcore as it's gonna get. Sorry.

Anyway, do you guys remember that plot bunny I wrote about in Chapter 4? I've decided to keep him around for the time being. He's being quite persistent, so this fic might take longer to update than before.
And yes, this plot bunny is DGM related. And it's actiony! ^0^ But don't expect to read anything about it soon; I'm not planning to post it until Christmas time.

That's the end of this note. Now it's time for all my beloved readers to review! Please? ^-^

Edit: Just realized two boys kissing means that this fic is better off in the T category. Oops. ^^;;;;;