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Renesmee's P.O.V
(Starts when her, Jacob, Alec and Alice have gone shopping)
Jacob was like my shining light. He always had his arms open wide for me. And right now I needed them more then anything. I needed his warmth, his company, his friendship but sometimes I would catch Alec looking at us. I couldn't figure out the emotions that were running over his face.
He's a master of disguise, but it doesn't make me hate him, it makes me curious about him.
And I guess that's what going to hurt me in the end. After all, curiosity killed the cat.
I was the daft cat, I knew what I shouldn't feel, but it didn't matter. The feelings I had for Alec were out of my control.
Alice was making me go shopping again. I hated shopping with Aunt Alice. I loved her, it was true, but all we would do is go in to clothe shops and I would become her Barbie doll.
I dragged Jake with me to the car, he looked reluctant but I knew he wouldn't want me to endure this pain all by myself. Well, not technically, I had Alec, but we didn't talk. We hadn't done for days. There was a silent respect to us. I wouldn't talk to him, he wouldn't talk to me. And that seemed to satisfy both of us.
As I predicted, I was bundled with clothes within mere seconds. I looked at Jake with a fake scared expression on my face before I was roughly shoved into the nearest changing rooms. I could hear Jake laughing outside.
Alice followed me inside with one of the most sluttish dresses I had ever seen. It was plain white with little black roses situated around the side.
It was beautiful, there was doubt about it but I doubted my ability to be able to pull it off. It was so low cut and along with that, it was backless aswell.
Well, at least Alec won't see me in it.
Relief however was soon overflowed with sadness. Alec wouldn't be here for my birthday. He would be gone the day before.
To my horror Alice shoved the dress at me and commanded me to put it on. I tried to argue but it was pointless, Aunt Alice always got her way.
I studied myself in the mirror and gasped. I could pull this dress of eloquently without looking the least bit slutty. A smile spread on my face and Alice looked at me approvingly. She then pointed to where she wanted me to go.
Outside, in front of Alec.
I tried to argue once more, but once again I gave up. Although I did put up a fight. Alice humoured me for several seconds before getting bored. Within mere seconds I was pushed outside.
My vision whirled around me as I stumbled and tripped. I was heading straight the floor. I closed my eyes and waited for the embarrassing impact.
But it never came.
A pair of strong, cool arms grabbed my waist and steadied me. I could feel myself turning slightly pink as I stared into Alec's eyes.
I figured then, that I didn't care. He might be part of the Volturi, he might be a dangerous killer and he might hate me. But I didn't care. I knew what my feelings were for him. I wanted to beg for forgiveness. Ask him if we could be like what we were before. Anything, as long as I was close to him in the remainder of his time here.
My lips opened slowly to reveal the words I desperately needed to say before I was snatched from his embrace.
Alice rotated me round to show me off. She was obviously proud of her little find.
When I came back to a stop in front of them I saw Jake's eyes. They were full of what I recognized was lust. I've seen that look in Alec's eyes many times before. Alec was allowed this look in his eyes, I was sure I had it in mine too, but Jake.
He wasn't.
I could feel his eyes rake over my body and I wanted to run and hide. Jake was my best friend, he had known me since I was first born. I didn't know how to describe it but it was, strange.
I turned to leave quickly and change out of this disgusting thing that drew Jake's attention in unwanted ways towards me. I heard a whistle and turned my head slowly, a smile covering my face as I realised it was Alec. He gave me a sly smirk and I scuttled off to change.
That night Alec needed to hunt. Jake always went with us lately, he didn't want me to be hurt again. But I needed to talk to Alec alone and luck shined in the form of Seth and Leah.
A hurried knock was heard on our front door and Dad rushed to open it. Seth ran in searching for Jacob.
"Jake!" Seth said pulling him from me, "Leah's gone off, AGAIN!"
Jake rolled his eyes, this happened at least every month.
"Hey Seth," I greeted him getting up and giving him a tight hug.
Seth was also one of my best friends, I didn't see him nearly as much as I did Jacob but the bond was still there.
"Hey Ness," Seth grinned coming out of his worry's to me.
"I can't believe she's done this again," I heard my Mum's voice come from the kitchen.
Jake nodded in agreement then turned from Seth to me. I could see worry in his eyes. I nodded at him, trying not to be to enthusiastic. If Jacob left I could talk to Alec on his own. Things might go back to how they were before the dreadful kiss.
My eyes left Jacob's to rest on Alec's. His lips were twitching; he was trying not to smile. It was obvious. I happened to be feeling the same; I couldn't reveal to Jake my true emotions.
When I glanced back at Seth I saw his eyes darting quickly from me, Jacob and Alec with shock and sympathy. Shock when he looked at Alec and sympathy when he looked at Jacob. I didn't know what to make of it. But I was glad when Seth finally dragged Jacob away from the house.
"You will be safe wont you?" Jacob asked glancing at me and then glaring behind my back at Alec who had stood up to join me.
"Course," I said waving him away acting as if I would be fine completely alone with Alec. I highly doubted I would.
"Will you wait for me till you go hunting?" Asked Jacob using his puppy dog eyes.
I looked at my family. If me and Alec didn't go hunting now then we wouldn't have privacy, my family's hearing was incredible and I hated it, nothing was private in this household.
Uncle Emmett gave a little snort, I didn't know why and then suddenly my father joined in. I didn't know what they were thinking. Obviously a private joke was going on, but at whose expense? I saw Jacob turning slightly red but ignoring the two vampires, I saw Alec smiling slightly at my Dad and Uncle as if they had thought of the same thing. It was strange but I didn't ponder it. My Mum was glaring at the two and Aunt Rosalie's smile was stretched all around her face as she stared at Jacob.
"I-" I began, I didn't know what to say, I wanted to tell him no. I didn't need him all the time, especially not now.
But Seth cut me off, "Jacob the little vampire looks starved," He said trying to make a joke as he stared at me.
But the look of sympathy had not left his eyes and I desperately wanted to know what was wrong with him. He grabbed Jacob then and Jacob followed obediently, waving slightly to me as Seth closed the door. I could hear raised voices outside but Alec was already walking to the opposite door which led to the forest. I followed him keeping my eyes down; I didn't want to see his smirk again.
"Maybe you should wait till Jake gets back," My Mum said calmly but I could see terror in her eyes.
I felt like I was being kept in the dark. I was always kept in the dark. I didn't know why my Mum and Dad were fighting lately, only for a few seconds however until I heard the bed springs and I knew their tiff was over.
I didn't understand why my Dad and Uncle seemed to like Alec so much. I didn't understand why Jacob was acting like my guard dog.
"Let her go," I heard my Dad say triumphantly, "She wants to."
I heard my mother sigh and a breeze of wind whacked my skin as I ran through the forest trying to get away from them all. But there was someone I couldn't get rid of. As I looked at him running with me he didn't look back. He seemed deep in thought through the whole hunting trip.
He landed a mountain lion just as easily as I sucked blood out of the elk lying on top of my body.
Alec finished his meal before me. He sat against a tree waiting for me. I sighed; maybe it was for the best that he was going soon.
I was hurting him, my mere existence sickened him and the sooner I was out of his life, the better.
"This has been an awkward week," I said pushing the dead elk off of me and rose to my feet.
I waited for his reply. But I didn't get one, I should have suspected it. But I didn't expect myself to be as hurt as I was now. His silence made me feel unwanted and rejected. And I guess I was, I was an abomination.
Finally, he looked up. His eyes twinkled with surprise as he got to his feet.
"Certainly has," He agreed.
I slumped against the opposite tree, I didn't feel like standing and I didn't exactly feel like sitting, I wouldn't be talked down to.
"Well only a week left to go," I sighed.
Only a week left to go. Is that all? Only a week? And after he would be gone, he would vanish as if he were never here. I wouldn't be able to bear that.
I had heard stories of what happened to my Mum when Dad had left her, she became like a ghost and Jacob managed to fix parts of her back up. Maybe that's why I felt a pull towards my best friend, he was the one who would always be there for me.
Alec seemed to ponder this. His eyes widening as if realising something for the first time. And when his eyes finally met mine I saw nothing. His decision was hidden behind them. Love me or leave me, but which one would he choose?
"Would that make you happy?" he asked, "Me leaving."
I returned his gaze steadily, I didn't want to show the confusion across my face.
Would that make me happy? So many questions were filling my head it was hard to concentrate on just this one. Yet this was the most important question of all.
I finally managed to say the most truthful answer I could, "I think so."
"Would you like me to leave now?" He asked.
My eyes widened in disbelief. Surely he couldn't leave me yet!
Not like that.
He needed Aro's permission. I stared at him, not speaking, I didn't trust my voice but I was quite sure my mouth was slightly open.
Finally, he turned to leave. I didn't know if this was just another one of his games, but either way, I didn't care. I couldn't let him just walk away. His back was to me and I knew that in any second he could vanish with just a step.
I grabbed his wrist.
He paused, as well, did I. It was the exact same way that I had grabbed him last week. I wanted to let go, his skin was burning mine even though he was cold. But I felt as if I was glued to him. I wouldn't let his arm go before I knew he would stay.
"No," I whispered barely managing to control my voice.
He turned slowly to face me and I tried not to get my hopes up. He was probably just tormenting me.
"Then lets make the most of this week," He smiled.
I took a step backwards, looking at the floor. I didn't want to trust him. I would never be able to trust him, never. I wanted to but it was impossible. I knew he would leave and betray me but as long as I had the rest of the week with him, I wouldn't care.
As I gave him a weak smile I felt everything turning back to normal.
We didn't talk much for the rest of the trip but sometimes I made comments and he would through back his head and roar with laughter. I loved the sound of his laugh and the fact that I had caused it sent me waves of warmth tingling all over my body. I bet most girls couldn't get Alec, guard of the Volturi to laugh.
In at least an hour we arrived back at my house. I stopped suddenly and fought the urge to growl.
Jacob.
Jacob was standing by the door with his eyebrows raised. Did he not trust me? Could I not protect myself? I wasn't a baby, I didn't need protection. My parents had realised this by now, I was allowed alone with Alec. But Jacob made it seem as if it was a crime.
I walked past him with my held high. I wanted to yell at him that everything was fine and I wasn't the baby he once knew. She was no longer there, she had changed almost a month ago. Everything about me would change with time. And sometimes I wished he was part of the change.
"Have a nice time bloodsucker?" Jacob asked blocking Alec's way inside.
I twirled round to look at the pair. I hated when Jake used that word. I was part bloodsucker, it hurt me more then it would ever hurt Alec.
Alec raised his eyebrows as if bored.
"A very good time. Thanks for asking."
"You are a sick disgusting-"
I couldn't be bothered to hear anymore. I flew up the stairs leaving the little boys to their tormenting games, I would not be their prize.
I walked silently across the hallway. I could hear Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie roaring with laughter behind one closed door. I smiled as I imagined Emmett poking Rosalie like he usually did until she was near tears.
I stopped to listen.
I wanted to walk in and join in with Uncle Emmett but as my hand closed around the door knob I heard them talking.
"I think it's great she isn't going to wind up with fido," I heard Aunt Rosalie giggle.
"The smell!" Uncle Emmett roared dramatically.
I let go of the door handle as if it burnt my pale skin. I shook my head trying to understand what they meant. I always knew that Aunt Rosalie didn't like Jacob but I always thought better of Uncle Emmett.
I approached the next set of doors and pressed my ear against it.
"Carlisle," I heard my Grandma's worried voice say, "What will this mean between us and the werewolves?"
I could hear shuffling around in the room and a silent single sob erupt from what could only be my Grandma Esme.
"Esme," Grandpa Carlisle spoke softly and calmly, "I don't know, I suspect nothing. After all what Nessie and Alec have isn't real. It can't be real."
Why couldn't mine and Alec's feelings be real? The realisation struck me as I walked across to the other set of doors where Aunt Alice's and Uncle Jasper's room was.
Because he didn't feel the same way about me. He would never be able to. And he would never want to.
"I feel sorry for Jake," I heard Aunt Alice say.
"When he realises I'll calm him down, it's the best way," Uncle Jasper whispered to her and I heard her murmur in agreement.
I finally got to the last door of the hallway.
My parents.
They were fighting.
I could hear the raised voices as if I was actually in the room.
"I couldn't be with him!" I heard my Mum cry.
"And Nessie doesn't want to be with him," I heard my Dad say calmly.
My mum let out a sigh, "It's not fair Edward, it's not fair on him."
What wasn't fair to him? I leant forward trying to understand what they meant.
"It's not fair for her, she's found someone."
"But Jake's waited for her, her whole life."
"It's sick Bells, he's practically waited for our little girl to grow up just so he can-"
So Jacob's feelings towards me were what I feared.
From the conversations of my family I had managed to piece together that they thought that me and Alec were in love. That Jacob loved me. And that the werewolf's loyalty to us was at stake because of it.
I put a hand to my head as I saw my personal knight strolling towards me. His eyes expressing concern. Just behind him, but soon to break out into a run was my castle.
Holding the knight off. Not letting him in.
Hating the knight.
But loving me.
Hii everyone, I really hoped you enjoyed this part. Its supposed to be explaining Renesmee's confusion and what her family think of the whole situation. Anyway please keep R&R! Please review with triples Alec's with sugar sprinkled on top ! *cough* please *cough* reviews make me write *cough* faster, *cough* no hint! *cough COUGH*
