Not mine! This is a translation of a Chinese ShizNat fic from yamibo. For author details, please refer to the bottom of this page. Thanks.
Summary:
ShizNat. Post MyHime with some surprises.
Note:
I've taken the liberty to include remarks to clarify certain scenes for those who are confused or would like details. (Please ignore if your imagination managed to fill in the gap because these remarks are just my own deductions and might not reflect the author's original intent) [These sections are marked with (-#-); refer to the bottom of the chapter for details
When Natsuki meets Shizuru
Chapter 7 - Confusion : Part 3
Authored by submerged
Translated by glowie
-x-x-x-x- Kruger's POV -x-x-x-x-
I seemed to be trapped within a bizarre dream, try as I might I am unable to free myself from this world that I obviously don't belong to. Before me were faces filled with worry and concern and from within her crimson orbs I could also see sadness.
Never in my life would I ever imagine seeing fear and panic so clearly written on her face. For as long as I could remember, she is the epitome of grace, beauty and controlled calmness.
The very moment I managed to open my eyes, groggy as I was, I couldn't help but noticed that things were different somehow. The loud and agitated Nao, Mai and Mikoto who had long left Windbloom for the Black Valley and she who had been holding my hand tightly all this while as well as a bunch of unfamiliar men in white-colored robes who seemed to be doctors.
This doesn't make sense at all. I swore I was wounded while shielding Queen Mashiro from the assassin. How in heavens did I end up here?
Next were the clothes, they were definitely not of Windbloom or anything that I've ever seen before. But most important of all the people I know seemed to have been "reduced" to their younger selves.
"Is this a dream? Or am I dead?" The raven-haired beauty softly murmured while trying to make sense of her current situation. Soft as it was each and every word was absorbed by the tentative girl keeping silent vigil beside her bed. In the next instance, Natsuki found herself being squeezed tightly in a gripping hug. A surge of warmth quickly washed over her as a result of the action.
"Natsuki, don't worry. Everything's going to be alright." Her soothing voice filled with tender care manages to calm my taunt nerves and I felt my body relaxing to its melodious lull. Only then did I notice the intimate position we were in. I could swear my whole body was enveloped within her embrace. The first time ever I was this close to her!
Surprising even herself, the ice queen didn't find the contact any bit repulsive. Her body (soul?) is deadly honest however and it reacted as if on cue. In a manner of seconds, her body took on a dark red hue and she felt her blood shot all the way up to her head. This certainly can't be healthy and one can't help but wonder if it would cause permanent damage to our poor Gakuenchou's brain.
A sudden surge of panic rise from within me and without thinking, I tore myself from her. Before I could calm my now erratic nerves, I saw an expression of hurt registered on her haggard face.
"Did Natsuki dislike me so?" her question brought over by her choked voice caused my heart to clench painfully.
"No! Of course not!" I hurriedly tried to explain. The last thing I wanted was to see her cry. She smiled weakly and I noticed a drop of tear sliding down her despondent face. My heart followed its trek and it pierced my heart.
"Natsuki liked that person?" I heard her ask her tone full of sadness, hurt and she seemed so vulnerable. I couldn't help myself without thinking I pulled her to me and held her close. The price I paid? I fainted from the sudden blood rush to my head.
As I came to again, a few doctors were busying themselves inspecting my condition. She sat there still, my hand in hers. I'm very sure now that she's not the Shizuru I know. Although they are identical, Shizuru Viola will never allow such a show of vulnerability. She's the much praised and idolized Graceful Amethyst after all; forever strong, graceful and always in control.
"Natsuki?" Again, I saw the unguarded worry flicker across her face. Maybe my earlier lapse have had worried her. 'Wait a minute, wasn't she...'
"You..., weren't you... ", Tongue-tied, wide mouthed like a fish out of water, I looked incredulously at her. She doesn't seem like someone who had been crying. (-1-)
"Me? Weren't I what?" I guess my response managed to dull her worry somewhat for I saw a mischievous smirk appeared on her lips as she responded to my earlier outburst with one of her playful tone. That's right, that's the 'let's tease Natsuki' tone of voice and playful smirk. Obviously, I've been had again.
"Natsuki, the doctors have confirmed that your body has completely recovered, however..."
She swallowed the rest of the words but I have a pretty good idea what the doctors would be saying.
"I'm sorry; I guess my memory is still failing me in some areas." I'll just act the part then, it's definitely better than being assumed I'm crazy or god forbid! Suffering from memory disorientation (-2-). Before I manage to find out the real situation, I think its best I keep things to myself. But I'm really worried about the situation back in Garderobe and her... I bet she's having her hands full handling all the things in my absence over there right now... or had she left?
'I guess it's better for her had she left... at least she won't be tiring herself out with the matters of the academy.' Despite that, why does my heart hurt so? I guess I've been too dependent on her!
"Just as I suspect, doggie's brain is definitely fried, not only had her 'dazed moments' taken a dramatic rise, she's disgustingly polite now for heaven's sake!" Nao's sarcastic interjection brought me back from my brooding. She had been nothing but antagonistic with me since the very beginning. I could tell she was very displeased with me when I didn't bother to give any response to her earlier remarks. Then again, with my current state of mind, the last thing I wanted is to spend time arguing with her.
"Natsuki, do you still remember me?" Mai gingerly approached my bed and asked.
"Mai, right?" I had my reserve as the Mai I know had left Garderobe with that Cat Goddess of hers once Garderobe had been recaptured. Living a life of carefree leisure; selling ramen in the Black Valley.
"Yes! Natsuki remembers! But..."
"Ara, I guess that's enough for today." With a clap of her hands, Shizuru stopped Mai from any further questionings. "Natsuki had just awoken we shouldn't stress her too much. Since the doctors already said she's alright now, I think she'll be discharged within the next 2 days. She should be able to recover quickly once she's resting at home."
"I guess you're right. Natsuki should rest more." Mai turned her attention towards Shizuru. "In that case, Kaichou, I'll take my leave now. I'll come over to help when Natsuki can be discharged." she offered being the 'caring mother' that she is.
'Are all Mais' that fond of taking care of people?' I pondered as I saw Mai; Mikoto in hand, leaving the room with a very dissatisfied Nao.
"Natsuki!" Shizuru's melodious voice alerted me from my reverie. "Your food", I turned around only to be greeted by Shizuru holding up a fork with a well-cut piece of steak in front of me.
"Oh! Thanks!" I reached out for the fork but my actions were deterred when she retract the fork out of my reach. Unable to comprehend her action I asked. "Isn't this for me?"
"Of course it is. Natsuki needs some proper nourishment after being unconscious for so long. So come on... say ahh..." she mouthed her lips with deliberate pause to stress her point.
"Huh? What?!" Stunned beyond words, I looked incredulously at her. 'Please tell me she's joking. She wants to feed me?' I clumsily stumbled backwards in an all out retreat only to back into empty air as I fell from the other side of the bed. Seeing this, she quickly laid down the fork and ran to my side, helping me up as she fought to contain her giggle much to my annoyance.
"Ara, I was just teasing. Natsuki has overreacted it seems." Seeing that Natsuki didn't hurt herself from the fall, Shizuru flash an innocent smile; one capable of leading an innocent lamb to the slaughter.
'Is this how you treat a patient?' I glared at her with all the animosity I could muster. Propping myself back onto the bed with fork and knife securely in my hands, I started eating the bento prepared by Mai.
The food was delicious. 'Are all Mais' that good at cooking?' I was amazed and generally glad as I continued to make short work of the food. After having my fill, I started to feel drowsy again. 'What's happening to me? Didn't I just wake up? Why am I sleepy so soon? Or am I finally waking up from the dream?' If this is so, I would definitely miss this carefree atmosphere. If only she wasn't the highly idolized Graceful Amethyst and I myself not the Gakuenchou of Garderobe... having such a simple life isn't so bad... however, if I am not the Gakuenchou of Garderobe... would she still want to stay beside me?
'What am I thinking? Haven't she decided to leave already?' I shook my head wanting to clear my mind of my wishful thinking, 'She deserved better and I should allow her the freedom to live the life she wanted.'
"Natsuki?" I found myself being held softly in her embrace once again, "I guess you're tired, won't you sleep awhile?' her soothing voice wore down whatever futile resistance I had as it gently coaxes me into slumber.
"What about you, Shizuru? Shouldn't you take a rest as well?" I asked with concern as I fought my desire to gave in to sleep just yet for dense as I might be, I too saw the tired and weariness that bore down on her fragile figure. I am finding it hard to separate the two and I can never bear to see them suffer.
"I'll wait till Natsuki is asleep." She smiled contentedly at me as she urges me to sleep. Finding it difficult to keep up the losing battle, her soft sigh brushed my ear before I completely surrendered myself to the welcomed darkness.
- start of flashback -
"Natsuki, since the situation in Garderobe is under control now, I think it's time for me to take my leave." Beneath her crimson orbs were swirls of mixed emotions, for the umpteenth time I cursed my dim-witted self for never being able to read the secrets they withheld.
I looked at her shocked and at a total loss. Although deep down I understood this day would eventually came, it never occurred to me that it would be so soon. I know I shouldn't allow myself to always rely on her, expecting her to be by my side forever; thus I have worked hard over the years to grow both in knowledge and strength. She played an important role in my becoming the Gakuenchou that I was today. No matter what hardships that awaits me, knowing she's always there for me gave me the courage to face them without fear.
I guess now is the time I should allow her the freedom to do as she pleases. I have already been selfish for so long, binding her to me without a care of her true wishes. "I understand. You have my blessings." I steeled myself for that answer to ensure no wavering or hesitant is found in my voice. The last thing I wanted is to guilt her into staying. Even though it pains me so to see her go, she has the right to her own happiness after all.
"When do you intend to leave?"
"3 days later." 3 days? That quick? I couldn't imagine what life would be like without her beside me. For the first time in my life, I felt empty and numb.
"Have you told the others?"
"You're the first to know." She smiled a bit awkwardly.
Feeling sorry because you couldn't be there for me any longer? You shouldn't have, you've already helped me so much...
"Let's have a farewell party then?" I think many would find it hard to see her go especially her fans who worshipped her so.
"That's not necessary. I wouldn't want to be of trouble."
You're saying that for my sake right? Knowing how much I hate crowded and noisy gatherings.
"But..."
"Natsuki, if that is all, I would like to take my leave now, I wouldn't want to disturb your work." Without waiting for my reply, she had already turned her back towards me and left my office. It seems I'll be the only one sending her off then.
"Natsuki, the meeting is very important and I..."
"It's alright. You have to prepare for your departure and should rest while you can. You needn't worry about me, I can handle it alone." It's the least I can do for her after all; I don't want to see her tiring herself out.
"However, I might not be able to see you off..." I felt guilty that I couldn't even do such a simple thing for her. I wanted to say, 'Do come back and visit' but in the end I ... for I wouldn't want to burden her unnecessarily.
"That's okay." She seemed disappointed but her mood quickly switches back to her usual cheer. "Ara, Natsuki don't worry, we'll see each other again someday."
Sadly I lifted my face towards her, she looks mesmerizing as always. Before I could say anything, she had placed a light kiss on my left cheek. Her mischievous smirk flashed once again as she saw my body gave her the desired reaction.
She then abruptly turned her back towards me.
"Till me meet again! Natsuki!" her melodious voice rang out albeit with a slight tremble.
With those leaving words still ringing within my ears and mind, she was gone.
"Till we meet again! Shizuru..." I stood there like a lost sheep allowing my farewell wishes to be taken away by the winds.
The heated debate continued well into the afternoon. With a hateful glare, I eyed the bickering representatives; each only caring for their own selfish needs. It was because of this sudden meeting that I had failed to send her off.
The agenda being discussed was of the rebuilding of the affected areas, the reallocation of the victims and the punishment for those responsible for the incident. If only each of the representatives would spare a thought for those affected and would be willing to compromise, the meeting would have long been adjourned!
'She should be taking off now.' Just as I was lost in thought in my own problems, it happened. An assassin had managed to sneak in and was thrusting his sword towards Queen Mashiro. Without thinking I rushed towards her and place myself in the path of the blade. At this critical time when Windbloom has finally found peace and a promising Queen, Queen Mashiro's safety is of the utmost importance!
As the cold hard blade sank into my body, I could see the victorious smirk on the assassin's face. It dawned on me then that I was the target all along. The plan was both well planned and timed, choosing the moment when she wasn't beside me; knowing well that I would risk myself for Queen Mashiro even when I didn't have enough time to materialize.
'Shizuru!' As I saw my blood splattered across the meeting room all I could think of was her worried face, deep down I know my chances doesn't look good. Should I have said 'Goodbye' instead?
- end of flashback -
- to be continued -
Notes:
Ahh... I hope I haven't made you people wait too long for this. In view of the various feedbacks and questions regarding the conflicting background setting of the Otome world, I will attempt to clarify them here.
The setting. This story is written around June of 2006. The 2nd Drama CD which made ShizNat official is released somewhere end of June. Most of the stories written during and before this period do not yet have a clear idea of their relationship. Below are a few popular idea(s).
a. Sense of responsibility. Natsuki places a lot of focus on the well-being of Garderobe and her selflessness towards a better world often made Shizuru doubt her importance in Natsuki's life. Always assuming she's 2nd to Garderobe or if she's even important to Natsuki at all. Obviously, this fanfic chooses this path.
b. Sense of responsibility. (-evil grin- do we see a pattern here?) Although both of them realized they love each other, the responsibilities and expectations placed upon them forces them to bow to these pressures. This path assumes same-sex marriage is against the law and they being important public figures had to sacrifice their own happiness. Argh... that made me remember some angsty pieces...
c. etc... etc... I am too lazy to list more but I guess you get the idea.
[Btw, thanks for the heads up Leebot, had you not told me... I would never have known about the Drama CD 2 nor the fact that they made ShizNat official. I'm looking forward to collect the full set of the translated scripts now. Lalalalala...
The basic idea for the START of the story is to place both pair of ShizNats in the same crisis (of Shizuru's decision to leave). Natsuki Kuga took action and asked Shizuru to stay whereas Kruger, being bogged down with so many responsibilities and worries, failed to summon the courage to act out her own desire. Now that we've had that established, time to move on to the meat of the story. :)
The blushing. The idea here is that BOTH Natsuki started out with the SAME shyness indicator but as Kuga got a 6 months intense training from the master teaser herself... she's more impervious to it compared to Kruger. -evil grin-
Remarks:
1. Kruger assumed she had only passed out for a little while and was expecting to see a still crying Shizuru; heartbroken from their earlier exchange.
2. I regret my lack of technicality to describe that medical condition properly. It sounded so stupid to me. Sorry for having to bare the crude naming with me.
The author for this piece is submerged. She doesn't have an english nick and is ok with me directly translating her chinese nick. She doesn't have a blog so I'll just add the link for the article here. As usual, reconstructing links in ff net is not easy... so good luck?
http //www yamibo com/viewthread.php?tid(equals)26453&page(equals)1
