CHAPTER SEVEN
Edward received my message loud and clear. I hadn't seen him in over a week. It was nearing the end of summer and I was looking forward to the fall winds and changes on the leaves. Fall was my favorite time of year. The colors. The weather. The dark clothing. It was perfect.
I told my mother and father that Edward needed to focus on the upcoming semester of his first year at college. He had been accepted into his school of choice and now it was time to ready himself for the beginning of his career.
Jacob Black showed up on my doorstep every morning. The only text message I sent to Edward was to ask him why he didn't cancel Jacob Black. His only response to my inquiry was short and simple. No. He didn't call to lecture me on the power he held over me. He didn't come by to have a discussion. He was respecting my boundaries but not respecting my request.
Alice came to work out occasionally, as well. After the first couple of days with Jacob, I had to admit it wasn't so terrible. Bad clichés and all. I wonder if Edward talked to Jacob Black because he seemed to throw an exceptional amount of his little sayings at me the morning after I asked Edward to cancel him.
When you are about to quit, ask yourself why you started. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Magic is what happens when you do not give up even though you want to.
Okay, so I may have started playing a game in my mind. It was so very wrong of me to do so but every single cliché Jacob Black would hurl at me, I imagined he was saying it while engaging in sexual activity. It made me laugh to think about his poor girlfriend or wife trying to achieve maximum pleasure while Jacob whispered, "compromise your comfort zone," into her ear.
I tried to not think about Edward and my pending union. It was made difficult by my mother always wanting me to engage with her and give me little details which I had to lie about. I found myself going to the hospital for my volunteer work just so I could get away from her.
"Hey, Bella. You keep putting in these hours and we just might have to pay you," Sam said seeing me come through the front door.
Sam was from the lesser working class but since he was able to be worthy for a job at the hospital, it entitled him to better pay than most.
"Morning Sam. Anyone new this morning?" I asked with a smile.
"Yep. I got one that has been waiting for you since last night," he replied handing me the chart. "Sorry," he apologized softly.
I looked down and saw the name and my heart ached. I looked back at him and asked. "How's it looking?"
"Not good. I thought you might be able to cheer her up. I have her favorite right here," he replied handing me the Cinderella book.
I took the book and handed him back the chart before turning to head off for the children's ward.
It was Bree Tanner. One of my frequent fliers. She seemed to be in and out of the hospital nearly as much as I was. However, her situation was far more dire. I would go up to the children's ward and read and act out their favorite tales.
Seeing Bree laying in her bed made all my problems look like cake. It was the first time I was able to get some perspective. Here I was crying over a silly boy and his issues while this girl would love nothing more than to spend one healthy month out of these walls and living like a normal happy child.
"Hey Bree," I cheerfully announced walking in with my book in hand.
"Bella. I hoped you'd be here," she slowly breathes out.
"Don't talk," I said quietly. "Just listen, okay?"
I take her hand and give it a gentle squeeze before picking up the book and beginning where we left off the previous time. I would only stop when she would begin coughing and I would have to reach for her oxygen mask.
Bree's parents were seldom around. Her father was a governor, so he had a lot on his plate managing the state. I knew what an important role that was, but it always upset me that Bree's mother couldn't be bothered to sit with her child more. She probably felt her time was best suited else ware.
When Bree was asleep, I left the book by her bedside and stepped out quietly. I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts because then I would feel worse for using so much of my energy with being upset with my impending marriage. Such a silly thing to be upset over when you were watching a child fade right in front of you.
Mindlessly I begin my walk back to the head nurses' station to see if there was anything more for me to do or if I should just leave that day. I was so focused on trying to not focus on Edward that I didn't even hear my name being called.
"Isabella."
"Isabella."
Carlisle shook my shoulder a little and I instantly woke up. I feel my face flame with embarrassment. I hadn't seen or spoken to Carlisle since the day of our exciting announcement.
"I'm sorry, sir."
I shake my head and look around.
"Just…had an upsetting patient. Was there something you needed?"
Carlisle looked at me with warm questioning eyes.
"Why don't you come to my office. I would like to speak to you for a moment."
I feel my nerves kick up. I wondered if he had the chance to look into my medical file and find the answers he sought to my fertility and the chances I had to bring an heir to term. I wished I could tell him that it was a waste of time since his son would never touch me.
I followed him to his office and felt faint for doing so. I wished Edward was here. Esme, I could probably handle but Carlisle intimidated me like Edward was intimidated by his mother. After the short awkward ride in the elevator and a slow uncomfortable walk, we finally arrived at his office.
I walk in and Carlisle takes to see the door is shut properly. I stand, waiting for him to begin. I was sure he was about to speak on his displeasure that due to his son's stubborn nature, I was about to be his new daughter-in-law.
He gestures requesting me to sit and I do so slowly and stiffly. He walks behind his desk and sits down and then stares at me. My eyes begin to move around trying not to focus on his.
"I know why you are doing this. I know why my son is doing this. I am not upset with you. I understand your reasoning, Isabella."
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"No. I'm sorry. I don't condone what you and my son are doing. He is holding you hostage for choices I felt I had no control over. I know you heard our argument. Edward has told you the reasons why he was sent away. My son changed because I was unable to go against my father and I am afraid that you will pay most of all for our family's issues."
"Why would you think that?" I asked looking to him.
"Because I know you love Edward. It is written all over your face. You love my son and he doesn't deserve your love or loyalty. I have known you your whole life. Watched you grow up as I have my own children. More so than Edward. I know you don't feel like you fit in. If you had befriended any other family, I fear you probably would have been thrown out. But, like I tell my children, Cullen's have the luxury of doing what we please. We don't bend to societal pressures. We are allowed to live by our own rules."
I sighed and bit my lip.
"Why are you telling me this? Do you want me to try and talk your son out of his…this?"
"My son will never yield. Once he gets an idea in his head you know how difficult it is to have him change it. I know he cares for you and that small amount of care will be the only thing that blinds him from doing what is right. Letting you go so you can find someone to respect and love you fully."
I laughed.
"I don't think there is a man out there who would do that for me."
"I don't want to see you hurt, Bella."
It was the first time he ever called me Bella. Even Edward knew to call me Isabella when we were in front of our parents. Esme called me Bella but that was because she was a woman. It wasn't proper for a man to address me so informally unless he was a lesser.
"I care about you. I know you two will go on with this. I have scrutinized your contract more than Alice's because I know you don't have anyone who will stand up and be your voice. Your parents would agree to any clause. No matter what it meant to you."
"You don't know that," I defended giving my parents far too much credit.
"Don't I? I saw your sister contract. They approved Michael Newton to physically handle his wife as he saw fit. If we put a similar clause in yours, not that I believe Edward would ever hit you, your parents would sign either blindly or unsympathetically."
I can't control my tears. It hurts because he is right, and I am so angry that my parents would allow for such a passage.
"Bella," Carlisle says softly. "I won't allow that to happen. I will stand and be your voice. I will ensure respectability and do everything I can to protect you and your own interests. Even if it means protecting you from my own son."
He stood up and walked around his desk to me.
"Why would you do that for me? I know I am not the girl you had hoped for Edward. Society would want you to pick a Hale or a Denali. Not some lesser working-class fat girl."
"Do not ever speak about my new daughter like that ever again. I mean it. You are no longer any of those things. You are a Cullen. Now I will tell you what I tell all my children. Cullen's have the luxury of doing what we please. We do not bend to societal pressures. We are allowed to live by our own rules. I want you to remember this as you begin your wedding season. Remember that when you are helping Alice with her wedding season and don't be afraid to let everyone know down at Kenzie Court where Isabella Swan stands on the list of prominent families. Where is that again?"
I swallow and give him a watery smile.
"At the top."
"That's right. Good girl."
Carlisle gave me an honest to goodness hug. I would never be able to repay Carlisle Cullen for everything that he would do for me. This talk was the first. His word gave me more self-confidence than anyone who came before. I felt honored with his acceptance. My disturbing thoughts on how he acted in his study after Edward and I opened up about our impending union was taken all wrong. Carlisle wasn't upset that Edward chose me and therefore it was an embarrassment to the family. He was more concerned about seeing me hurt.
I check in one more time on Bree before I take my leave. Her small frail body and stats told me that she would be lucky to last the week. My heart aches for her as a silent tear falls down my cheek. It occurs to me then that this was a decent use of my tears. Not crying over boys who would never love me. I wasted too much time and energy on something that would never change, and it was time to move on. My time to mourn for my new life was over. Now it was time to face Edward and get to living my new life.
I asked the driver that Edward had set me up with to take me to the Cullen's. I wasn't sure if Edward would be home, but I felt that I should begin there. My feet travel purposely toward his bedroom door. It was time to put an end to this.
I knock twice and wait.
When Edward opens the door, I can see the shock register on his face instantly.
"Bella."
God, it had been so long since I saw him, and I can feel my body reacting to his pleasant features. What I wouldn't do for just…
Stop it, Bella!
"Sorry. Am I interrupting?"
"No, um...is there something wrong? Do you need something?"
I bit my lip. My bravado beginning to wear off.
"No, I just wanted a minute of your time to talk. I can come back if this isn't an appropriate time."
Edward pulled open his door and gestured for me to come in. I walked in and felt funny for entering his private quarters. I never saw his room even when we were children. The walls are paneled with wood like Alice's, but he had some framed pictures of various musical artists hung up around. His bed is large and in the center of the room with a dark blue satin top. I slowly walk towards his leather couch and sit down awkwardly. Edward sits in the armchair to the left near the window.
I worked out my speech in the car on the way over, but the beginning is failing me now as I try and recall it. Begin with an apology for your actions. Assure him on your future actions and finish with gratitude.
"Bella, just be out with it. You'll never be able to remember your speech word for word. Give me the gist and well go from there."
I sighed irritated. I swear he can read my damn mind sometimes.
"I'm sorry. I wanted to come here and apologize for my behavior. You're doing this wonderful thing for me and I have been acting like a petulant child because I am upset with so many things and none of them really fall on you being the reason for my poor conduct. I wanted to assure you that going forward I will be the picture of societal grace and respect. I won't let you down. I will attend to my studies and you will never find a better fake wife than I. I promise I will do better."
He looks confused. He closes his eyes and then shakes his head as if he is having issues with comprehending my declaration. He stands up and walks over to join me on the couch.
"Bella, you needn't apologize. I know I haven't exactly made this transition any smoother. I guess my temper hasn't gotten any better with age. I don't want to hurt you. I hope you know that. I have been so angry with myself and how I have dealt with you for the past few weeks. I don't blame you for calling this a nightmare. I deserve every harsh word. I see it written all over my mother and father's faces. Their disappointment. Not from choosing you but for how I have acted."
I shake my head.
"No, Edward. You are just like me. We both fight with one another because we are taking out our frustrations with outside entities on each other. You're upset with your grandfather and I am...upset with the way the world continues to work."
Edward scoffed.
"I have to know. What exactly would you change if you were a governor? How would you change things if you were able to hold the majority vote in your favor?"
I sat back and looked straight ahead out the window to think my answer through. I knew he would love to debate whatever I said. This could cause us to go into another fight.
"It doesn't matter. Women can't be governors. I guess you'll never know."
"This is a hypothetical situation, Bella. An alternate universe where a woman could be governor so answer the question."
I narrowed my eyes and took a deep breath in.
"Okay, for starters. Women would have equal representation and be able to be governors. We would hold a position of power so we could be able to make changes to the current structure. I would dissolve the current system and positions would be open to all and earned by gaining the respect of the people. All the people."
"You would completely dissolve our system. Anyone could be in charge, even a member of the lesser working class?"
"Why not?" I challenged.
Edward laughed. "Well, for one there would be chaos. There is a reason our system has lasted throughout time and history. You were born into a lower station so I'm sure it is easy for you to dismiss the hard work of all the prominent individuals above you. If it was open to all and every to be in a position of power, then you would have corruption."
"And you're saying there isn't any now?" I questioned.
Edward sighed. "I'm not saying there isn't but when you let individuals with no political aptitude an opportunity to weigh in on issues they know nothing of it can lead to apathetic and misguided voting that could put a person in a position of power that could detrimentally put an end of us all. And all this because you don't want to get married to secure your welfare because when it comes down to it, Bella, that is what this is about, is it not?"
It was my turn to sigh.
"I don't know why we are discussing this. It's not like things will ever change but I don't think you are as educated as you believe. You are used to being at the top and looking down. if you could get your head out of the clouds and come down to the commoners than I imagine you could be enlightened."
I see my words have made him upset. I feel it too. Were we like this when we were children? I don't remember every discussion turning into a hostile debate. I think back, and a smile slowly forms on my face and I let out a laugh.
"What?" Edward snapped.
I shake my head.
"I was just wondering if we were like this when we were children. If we were, how ever did we remain friends for so long and then I thought back and yes, we were very much like this. I can't believe I had forgotten. You used to infuriate me with your pompous attitude. You always thought you knew everything."
"I wasn't the only one. You were as stubborn as hell. I had to be pompous to be a fair match for your stubborn nature. God, I still remember when you broke your arm falling out of that tree and you wanted me to just leave you to return back to your house all by yourself when my father was a doctor and you couldn't receive better medical care."
I practically jumped in my chair sitting to face him.
"There was a reason, Edward. My mother had forbidden me out of the house that evening. I was on restriction and yet, you talked me into sneaking out. If I had gone home like I wanted to, I could have made up some story of how my arm broke and then I wouldn't have been grounded for a month."
"Don't try and pin that on me. You were always the worst liar. No matter what story you spun, your parents would know the second the words trickled off your tongue."
We both laughed and for the first time in years and it felt normal to do so. I look at Edward's perfect face and I can see the boy I once knew. His smile is absent of the harsh years that separated us. It was the first genuine Edward smile I had seen since we were children. I think he notices it too. His smile doesn't fade fast, but he slowly pulls back.
"Bella."
I look down and away from him before I allow more feelings to remind me of the harsh truth.
"I promise to be better. To be your friend again. I hope you will allow that."
It was probably all he could offer me. I could see it now. His behavior was deplorable, but I can't imagine I would act any better being put out by my family for years at the request of a grandparent. I nearly laugh. The Cullen's walked around believing they were untouchable. Even Carlisle had said that they were afforded the luxury of doing whatever they pleased because of their position and yet, apparently that wasn't so. If grandpa Cullen could turn out his own grandson, it meant that no matter who you were, there would always be someone higher to answer to.
"I would very much like to be your friend again. I don't want to fight with you. I find it extremely exhausting and I would much rather save my energy for more important matters. I know that I have asked this before. I know your parents have asked this. I guess I really need to hear you say it one more time. Are you sure you want to do this? There are far more suitable offers for marriage. I hear the Denali's have a young girl who has not begun negotiations for her hand. She would be a very respectable choice."
Edward sighed and moved closer to me.
"I am fine with this decision. I look forward to calling you my wife," he teased.
I rolled my eyes.
"Well, I think there are a few things we really need to discuss if we are going through with this sham."
Edward seemed to think about my words and wonder what I was referring to.
"Is this regarding negotiations? Have you come here to request something?"
I shook my head.
"No, like I said. I don't particularly care what the Cullen's offer. Don't get me wrong. I do hope that you didn't go ahead with the whole...smacking clause and will make good on your word for an amicable divorce."
His head falls forward and he shakes it sadly.
"Once again, I am sorry. I was being an ass. Of course, I would never...and I believe my parents would smack me into next year if I requested it. You don't have to worry."
I felt a little relieved. Not that I believed Edward would ever raise a hand to me but, I appreciated that he saw the error of his ways.
"Also, I will do my best to not treat you as a child and let my anger rule me when we...get into our tiffs."
"And respect my requests?" I asked.
Once again, he searched wondering what I was speaking on. I see the light in his eyes when he realizes it.
"Jacob Black." He sighed. "If you like, I will cancel him."
I shrugged. "Actually, he isn't so bad. It is working out. I was just upset and had a moment of weakness when I saw you that day."
"I know you did. I remember what that felt like in the beginning. I remember wanting to quit but I didn't because I knew what I would lose if I didn't do as my grandfather requested. I had something far more precious pushing me to lose the weight. You don't have that push. I don't care if you lose the weight or not but if you do want to, I can help in motivating you properly. Like I said. I've been where you have been. I know it's hard. It will take more than you know."
I hated talking about the elephant in the room. Bad joke, I know. This talk was turning serious, so I decided to lighten it up.
"Well, I did lose two pounds so small victory there for every pound I lose."
"Bella. The victory isn't in the pounds you lose. The victory comes in you choosing to agree to work at it every day."
I rolled my eyes.
"Geez, your clichés are as bad as Jacob's. Was there some school for weight loss you both attended?"
Edward didn't answer. He looked as if he was deciding whether he should ask me a question or not.
"How is...Jacob Black? Does he...treat you right? Is he respectable?"
I furrowed my brow. What an odd question to ask.
"He's fine. As I said, he could do better by laying off the motivational stupid speeches but of course, he is respectable. He is kind to me which is something I wasn't expecting. He doesn't treat me like the fat girl. Which I appreciate. He really is…"
I think over my time with Jacob and I am amazed that he has been so kind. He never cringes when he touches me. He always smiles and tells me that I am doing well even when I'm not. He has been exactly what I needed. And he wasn't half bad to look at. I think about yesterday when he is demonstrating how he wants me to use this rope to climb up these planks and his firm butt was in my direct line of sight. I shake my head of the thoughts forgetting that Edward's eyes are trained on me.
"Good. I promise you'll get your money's worth," I finish quickly hoping I am not flush. Edward makes a small sound of acknowledgment. Somehow our innocent conversation has turned awkward quickly.
"So...this was a good talk. I probably shouldn't keep you long. I'm sure you have plenty to do and I agreed to hand address each of Alice's invitations. So, I should brush up on my calligraphy."
I move to stand up from the couch and Edward quickly joins me.
"You needn't leave on my account. I have appreciated this time with you. In fact, I was wondering if you would be up for dinner tomorrow evening. We haven't exactly gone public with our courtship and I know this amazing pasta place not far from here."
I tuck my hair back behind my ear and remind myself that he is only asking me to go out for the sake of appearances. No reason to get excited and I had no reason to say no.
"Sure, but I hope they have more on their menu than pasta. Jacob doesn't want me eating that kind of food. Lean proteins and leafy greens he keeps pushing. Plus, there are probably a few more things we should go over in order for this to work. We should define expectations and how exactly we plan to get around certain expectations."
I knew what needed to be said even if I was too much of a coward for saying it now. I turned to leave out the door, but Edward put his hand out to stop me.
"Wait a minute. What exactly are you referring to?"
Oh god. I cringed and slowly turned around.
"We don't have to go over this now. It will give us something to talk about at dinner tomorrow evening. Also, you don't mind if I order in a dress for tomorrow. I haven't purchased anything respectable for this kind of event?" I only asked that last part hoping it would throw him off.
"Uh...yes, of course. The expense account is yours to do with as you see fit. I'm surprised you haven't used it yet."
"Oh, great! Then I should pop in on your sister. She has a much better eye for this kind of thing. Thank you again for seeing me. I look forward to working with you in the future. Till tomorrow."
I look forward to working with you in the future? God, I sounded like I was interviewing for a position. I turned and quickly left. My words making me sound like an idiot. I was so worried he would make me stay and continue with my list of worries. We were doing so well. I didn't want to throw a wrench in his works in asking just how he planned on getting around a few things to go forward with the fake marriage. The society that he so loved had certain expectations and I wasn't sure he thought everything through. You see, if we were living in my dream society, we would never be pressured in proving that Edward did in fact, take my virginity on our wedding night.
AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I know a few have made their concerns about where this story is going. As the kind of reader to flip to the back of the book first to find out who died, I get it. So here is what I will say about the direction this story will go, part two will be called The Lesser. Think Hunger Games Part three. Part one will focus solely on this society and their caste system and then part two will deal with the crumbling of the house of cards. There will be character deaths but not E or B. Hope that helps in knowing what kind of story you are getting into. Thank you for all your support, I have a feeling this will take me the rest of the year to finish.
STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.
