It seemed like everywhere we went, we ran into dead ends when it came to findin' Jimmy. We had travelled for days followin' leads, and besides a small camp that may or may not have been his, the trail had run cold. Sadly that meant there was only one logical thing to do, and that was to return to the Quarry to see if we could learn anythin' new.

We ran into Jericho, who informed us that Sam, the girl we had met when we first met Jericho, killed herself. That was sad to hear; although she intimidated me a bit, she still seemed a little soft on the inside. Decker asked Jericho if he had any news on Jimmy, to which Jericho said our best bet was to use Wally as bait, seein' as those two were close lately. Wally, the sweet old man who we'd learned was a cannibal, the one I felt sorry for when he lost his love, I didn't have the heart to do somethin' like that even if he was a bad man. Thankfully Decker agreed.

After learnin' from Elizabeth, and havin' it confirmed by Argo, that Jimmy and Jericho were friends, none of it made any sense anyway. I thought Wally was a good man, turns out not so much. Now I'm hearin' Jericho may not be a good man either? So many confusin' stories, twists and lies. Comin' back to the Quarry was a bad idea; just made me realize that you really can't trust anyone in this place. But I suppose it's good that I'm learnin' these things now before I foolishly did somethin' to get myself killed.

Upon leavin' the Quarry we met a man named Sport who was searching for his wife and two children. Another family man lookin' for lost loved ones. Breaks my heart with each family story that I hear, them being separated and unable to find each other. Some guy named Mason gave Sport the completely wrong directions when it came to where he and his family were supposed to meet; what a jerk! I'm hopin' we run into Mason so I can give him a piece of my mind, and I think Decker's wishin' for the same.

Oddest thing happened when we left Sport. After Decker gave him the correct way to go to the town he was searchin' for, Sport said, "Thank you, and God bless you." Normally I suppose that ain't so odd of a sayin', but it's not somethin' I had heard in a long time, especially around here. I see no God, no evidence of one, not in a long time. I used to believe in God, but after bein' in these parts long enough, it's easier to believe He's forgotten about us.

Decker said he was more curious about how an entire family could end up in this place. I figured it was a good thing, man havin' his family with him while most of us don't. And if Sport had hope he'd find his family, then that I suppose is a good thing too. Decker said he doesn't need hope in this place, he already knows what's going to happen. When I asked him how he knows, he just said it was a matter of connecting the dots til the puzzle is all filled in.

Then he said we're all stuck here, and that, at least for him, he can't leave until his work here is done. I asked him if he ever thought about leavin', tryin' to run away from this place. He said he's in it til the end, that there's no escaping it, and that he's already tried to leave. I asked him how but he didn't answer.

He sure does scare me sometimes, and I told him as much. He said I had nothin' to be scared of, especially him. But then he added I may find out sooner than I'm ready to what it all means and that wasn't very comforting at all.

More riddles.

As we continued on, Decker asked me what my happiest memory was in my life. This was a hard one for me; not because I didn't know what it was, but because it was hard talkin' about it. It's been a long time since life was happy, since I felt like there was a good thing happenin'. Sadly I didn't realize it at the time, or I'd probably have cherished those moments a little more.

My favorite memory that I told him was of course our family gatherings. We'd all head over to either my grandparent's house or my uncle's house for the major holidays, birthdays, whatever. It was the only time I got to see my cousins and my aunts and uncles, as they didn't come around much for whatever reason. My dad, uncle, and grandpa would get to work on barbecuin' the chicken and ribs, corn on the cob, and hamburgers and hot dogs. My mom, aunts, and grandma would be in the kitchen makin' the cole slaw and fixin' the plates and such that we'd need.

Us kids, well we weren't fussed with any of that. We'd all be busy in the pool, the older cousins throwin' us younger ones up in the air and then gettin' splashed when we dropped in the water. The dogs would run around the pool chasin' the water as it came over the sides. Coolers were lined up along the backyard; soda for us kids, beer for the adults. These are the good times I remember. Just bein' around family, without a care in the world. I'd never seen my parents so relaxed and enjoyin' themselves, and there was so much love to spread around it brings a smile to my face just thinkin' about it.

Decker said it sounded like heaven, and I can surely agree with that. Those were the best of times. But sadly everyone from those parties is gone now, all died of one thing or another, or disappeared from my life because of some old grudges and family drama. Not that I understood any of that back then, but now that I'm older, yeah it kinda sucks. Come to think of it, Decker's the only thing I have now that's even close to a family.

When he said I should be thankful none of them are here, I was kinda angry at first, but I suppose he's right. I'd hate for them to be livin' like this, on the road with nowhere left to call home. Though I really wish my dad was here; he's the one I miss most. He'd bring me strength whenever I felt I had none, and I've been missin' him for a long long time. Thinkin' back on these memories made me miss him even more.

Strange coincidence, as I was thinkin about my father, Decker mentioned his, said he was hoping to run into him. I didn't even know Decker's dad was in these parts; in fact I don't know much about Decker's family life at all. First time he'd ever brought them up, except for that time he told Benji spendin' time with family was important. I asked Decker to tell me about his father, to which he replied his father was a mean bastard. That confused me a bit; why would you want to run into him again if he's so mean? I asked him to elaborate, and once again received an answer that didn't quite make sense.

"Cause killin' him one time just wasn't enough."

Not quite sure how you can run into a dead man, and to hear that Decker killed him? That took me a few minutes to process. When I tried to push him for a little more information, like how he could hope to run into his father if he was dead, I got a cryptic answer with him sayin' I'd figure it out eventually. I gotta say, I am so frustrated with the riddles, tired of things not makin' any sense. Fed up with Decker not bein' straight with me. I've never played games with him, done nothin' but been honest and straightforward with him. Why does he insist on puttin' me through these mind games? Feels like he's hidin' things from me, and I told him as much. To which he repeated that some things I gotta learn on my own. And that I may not like what I learn once I do.

But I also have nothing to fear, he added. Then he tried to reassure me that I was safe. Hard to believe with all this other shit he keeps sayin', especially now knowin' he killed his own father.


We came upon a town where we met Eric while he was hiding in a building trying to wait out those creepy things runnin' around. I wondered how long the poor thing was gonna hide in that buildin'? Lucky for him we showed up or he may have run out of food in there. We helped him get out and then the three of us went searchin' for supplies.

"I imagine that one didn't do anything super bad, don't think his time here will be very long," Decker said to me when Eric was out of earshot. Was he suggesting only bad people ended up in a place like this? Can't believe that one; what did a young girl like Mya do to end up here? Even Decker himself said I was a good person and I'm here; that man is so conflicting, none of it makes sense! Are we being punished here then for doing something wrong in our lives? I asked him as much, and of course he deflected my questions yet again with more riddles.

That's when he brought up the question. The question. The one he asked when we first met, the one he asks everyone when he meets them. "How many times have you died?" My answer then was never, obviously, because I'm right here. Decker said he asked that of everyone to see if they truly knew the answer, if they know what he knows. And once again he said I'll figure it out when I'm meant to figure it out.

Infuriating! If I'm meant to know somethin', just tell me and be done with it! Why all the riddles, the games, the frustration, why torment me with words and make me wonder just what in the hell I'm doin' runnin' with him? Not sure how I'll ever figure out the answer when I don't even really know what the question is? Make sense? To me neither.

He asks everyone how many times they've died. He says he hopes to run into his father again, even though his father's dead. He says everyone here has done somethin' bad, but I have nothing to worry about, that I'm safe here. And he claims he can't die, and neither can I. I had asked him so many questions and received so few answers that made any sense. Why can't he just tell me? "Some things can't be told Darlin'," Decker said. "They must be learned on their own. Seen, felt, experienced. There just ain't no proper way to describe it."

"Would just be easier if you told me," I replied, because at this point, I was so lost and confused and scared, I didn't have a clue what was goin' on.

"I already have darlin'," he said.

But he hadn't, at least not that I was able to figure out. The closest I ever got to a straight answer out of him was about his father. I figured that may be the only way to not have more riddles thrown at me, so I asked him to tell me the story about what happened with his father.

His response changed everything.