Still August 16th
Time: 1pm
Location: Room
Mood: Arrrrrggghhhhh!!!!
That's it. My life is over. It's a miracle I have not commited suicide yet. I will though, after I've got my revenge.
What's the point of living, anyway? You're going to die sooner or later. The only reason for my existence is to be tormented and embarassed by certain people. And that makes me suicidal, especially when that certain person tells another certain person about some certain secret of mine and then that second certain person finds out about a really embarassing certain thing about me and all those certain people around here laugh their heads off at me after that same certain person has seen me acting like a fool and the first certain person makes that certain embarassing situation worse, then all those certain people join in in making me look even more like a fool, and now I can never look at the certain person I got into that's embarassing situation in the eye again.
I'll explain from the beginning. So. After George got out of the house, I had to hide. And my so not brilliant idea was to hide behind my horse. So, naturally, Alicia spotted me, and said in this really loud voice: "Why, June! What are you doing, crouched down behind that horse? Anyone would think you were hiding from something - or someone." She must die, she must die.
So my marvellous excuse for crouching like a stupid horse-donkey cross (mule), was to mumble "I'm looking for a hairclip". Great. I must admit that Alicia's nothing if not unstupid, so she raised her eyebrows and said cooly: "A hairclip. I see." So I said: "Yes, you know, those objects you put in your hair to: a) make it look pretty, or b) get your hair out of the way, or c) both."
Alicia raised her eyebrows again. "So you're looking for a hairclip whilst wearing a hairband." Darn, darn, darn!
Me: Um, yes. Well…at least I'm original!"
Everyone else was laughing behind their hands. Pathetic.
Alicia smirked. "A bit too original, perhaps, June. Honestly, that is one of the lamest excuses I have ever heard. Now, may I ask why, as we have already discovered you, you are still crouching behind the horse?"
"Her name is Jaz, not horse!" I shouted. Oh why, why, why??? I sounded like a little toddler!!! I am so STUPID. So I snatched this book up, and stormed inside the house.
And here I am. Listening to a record of a man singing about suicide.
Too depressed to write. More later.
August 17th
Time: 1 am
Location: Bedroom, under bed covers.
Mood: Vengeful.
I heavn't written before because I've been thinking, plotting and planning. Muahuahuahua!!!
She-who-has-no-name-no-heart-and-no-feelings must be severely punished. Hmm. I need a shorter name. I know! The devil incarnate!
Anyway. Let us stop babbling and proceed to planning. And here, dear diary is where I am slightly stuck. Do you have any ideas? Okay, I am really worrying myself now. I am talking to a notebook.
So. Let me think. The situation is this: The devil incarnate must suffer. Meanwhile, I must not be punished. Or at least not too much. Hmmm. I have plenty of brilliant ideas, but they all seem to end with me chained and thrown in a dungeon to starve. Well, not really. But you know what I mean.
I must stop babbling. Hmmmmmmmmm.
I can't think of a way to make her embarassed, for in the dictionary of her mind that word does not exist. Anyway, I don't know any particularly embarassing secrets about her. And, of course, after reading you, dear diary, she knows all about mine.
I bet Betty knows a lot about the devil incarnate. But it's impossible to get anything out of her.
Hey. Wait a sec. What if SHE has a diary? I could search for it. The beasts are both asleep (I am under the covers with a torch. It is very uncomfortable writing in this position.) so I could search now. I'll be right back.
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh noooo!!!!!!!!
I must be the most stupid being in the whole of man's existence. I mean, honestly. Who else would have such a STUPID idea of searching a room while there are two people asleep in it, one of them a light sleeper???
While I was searching in her bedside-table, the lamp fell. Alicia woke up. Just great. So I pretended to be sleepwalking, but despite my fantastic imitation, the devil incarnate saw through it. Oh, all right. I was really obvious. I sort of put my arms in front of me and stomped around. Too loudly. That woke up Betty. Great. Just great.
Conversation:
Alicia: Juuuuune!! What are you doing???!!! (groaning)
Me: *unnarticulate moaning*
Betty: Whassat? *sleepily and groggily*
Alicia: Just the little wretch pretending to be sleepwalking. For a reason known only to herself.
Me: *Pretending to wake up* Wha-what's going on? AAAAHHHH!!!! DEAD PEOPLE!!! *pointing at them*
Alicia: *raises eyebrow* June. Quit it. You're getting me really concerned. Why on EARTH are you pretending to be sleepwalking? That's hardly normal behaviour.
Me: Aaaaahhh!!! I see live people!!!
Actually, I was supposed to say dead people, but my stupid brain for some reason known only to itself made me say live people. Stupid brain! Anyway, that blew the covers of the whole thing.
Alicia: *raises eybrows* live people? Oh, just go back to bed, will you? I'm exhausted.
So I went back to bed before I could embarass myself any further. Hmm. I'll have to think of another way to embarass her. It is not easy to embarass Alicia. She is not passionate like me. Actually I don't think she has any feelings, come to think about it.
August 18th
Time: 3 pm
Location: Barn
Mood: Embarassed, furious and hateful.
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no!!!
Great. Just great. Fantastic. Absolutely fabulous. Yipee. What is SAMUEL JOHNS doing here, annoying me? Eurgh. Never mind. And just to top it off, she-who-has...I mean, the devil incarnate has walked in behind him. I'll just ignore them like a mature person and keep writing. I'll write the conversation as we speak:
Sam: My DEAR little cousin! How are you today, my darling?
Me: *No answer*
Alicia: My beloved pest, aren't you going to answer dear Sam? Oh, sorry. I shouldn't call him dear, should I? He's your Darling Sammy!
Me: Shuddup. *goes red. darn, darn, darn*
Alicia: Aaaawww, bless! Look, Sammy, she's blushing!
She must die, she must die.
Sam: Now, Alicia, don't tease her, she can't help it. Isn't that right, Juney dear? And do you really call me 'Sammy'? That's so sweet!
HE MUST DIE, HE MUST DIE.
Me: I'm June. NOT Juney. And you're Samuel. And she's the devil incarnate.
Sam: DEVIL INCARNATE???!!! *cracks up laughing*
Alicia: *stands up and bows* Why, thank you June, I seem to be moving up in the world. Last time, I was just 'She-who-has-no-name' and now I'm the devil incarnate? I'm really flattered.
Me: Go away and leave me alone!!! Don't you know that bullies are actually cowards?
Alicia: *hurt look* Bullies? You hurt our feelings, darling Junebug! But all we've done is call you 'Dear' and 'Darling' and say 'Thank you!'
Sam: But - but - June!!! I thought you loved me!!! How can you be so cruel???!!! *buries his head in Alicia's shoulder and pretends to sob. Badly. He hasn't got my acting skills*
Alicia: Look what you've done, June! You've made poor Sam cry! Is your heart made of stone?
Me: No. I'm not you.
Alicia and Sam roll about laughing. Beasts.
10 minutes later
I sometimes baffle myself with my stupidity. Guess what I did this time. Well, you actually know already, don't you, dear diary? I threw you at Samuel's head. So, of course, the beasts grabbed it and read it out loud to EVERYONE. Great. Just great. So everyone now knows what few personal secrets I still had left. Including my brilliant plan to destroy the devil incarnate. Darn.
And just to make an absolutely wonderful day even BETTER, my darling little brother (remember, the youngest weird one?) has asked me if I wanted to play at dying with him. Then again, dying doesn't seem so bad right now.
Get a grip, June! I need to be plotting other ways to ruin the devil incarnate and her minions, not babbling on about death and suicide!
A/N: Sorry for the delay. Thanks for all the reviews! Keep on reviewing and giving constructive critisism! Coookieeeesssss!!!!!! :)
