Chapter 07– Making Peace
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At the confused expression on Jackie's face, Kitty explained. "Eric is Stuffy and Betsy is Shorty. They have nicknames for each other – isn't that sweet?"
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It was painful. Betsy's loss made Eric's heart ache with a familiar pain. Dr. Lake had left the office door partially open so the little girl could see her "Stuffy" and Eric heard every word of the session. Jackie appeared stunned. She didn't realize that a six-year-old had the same emotions as an adult – but in an abbreviated form. Jackie whispered, "I didn't know she felt so deserted."
Eric whispered back, "Kelso is an okay guy, but frankly, he's struggling as a dad. He really needs to hear this."
Jackie agreed. "I think it's going to be hard to interpret this into something Michael understands. He's just a big kid himself." The conversation was muted as Dr. Lake was speaking.
"No Betsy. Accidents happen and people die. Do I think your daddy will die? I will have to say that I hope he is around for a long, long time to take care of you."
Betsy was scribbling on some paper. "Daddy doesn't know I still cry."
Dr. Lake responded in a soothing tone. "And you know what? It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to be mad and it's also okay to be happy when you want."
Betsy looked up, "Mommy loved the holidays. How will Santa know where I live now? Mommy always helped me write the letter."
Dr. Lake smiled, "Betsy, talk to your daddy. I'm sure that he had told Santa that you have moved and if you ask him….I will bet you that he'll be happy to help you write a new letter." Betsy shook her head sadly. "He won't help."
Dr. Lake changed the subject. "What are you drawing Betsy?"
Betsy held up her picture of a big squiggly circle with lightning bolts. "This is heaven. This is where Mommy lives now."
A soft chime dinged in the distance and Dr. Lake closed her message pad. "Betsy, I'm going to talk to your Godmother for a few minutes. Will you be okay if I leave you alone? The door will be open."
Betsy shrugged. "Talk to Stuffy. He understands."
Eric and Jackie sat up in their chairs as the formidable Dr. Lake exited the office. She smiled and thanked them for bringing Betsy to her appointment. "I have tried to speak to Mr. Kelso, but I've found that he is easily distracted."
Eric coughed back a chuckle and cleared his throat. "That would be about right doctor."
Jackie spoke up, "Michael wants to help Betsy – he doesn't understand what she needs." She looked for compassion in the woman's face but there was only indifference.
Dr. Lake sat on the arm of the small sofa. "Mr. Kelso needs to stop putting himself first. When two people have a child, that child needs both parents to be willing to set aside their personal desires and raise the baby into adulthood. After meeting Mr. Kelso and talking to his daughter, I am of the opinion that little Betsy is without a doubt more mature than her father."
Jackie opened her mouth to object but Dr. Lake continued. "I am going to recommend weekend sessions so father AND daughter can attend together. I cannot update a parent through a surrogate. I'm sorry, but it simply cannot be done without something being lost in the translation. Mr. Kelso needs to rearrange his schedule. I am available on most Saturdays, or we can revisit the evening sessions when he is on a daytime shift."
Eric had a feeling Jackie was going to say something not quite pleasant, so he stood up and shook the doctors hand. "Thanks for seeing her today. I, er we – we will tell Mr. Kelso about the scheduling and make sure he brings Betsy back."
Jackie glared at Eric for not letting her speak. This woman was rude! Eric held out his hand, "Hey Shorty! Let's go get some ice cream."
Betsy smiled and ran from the office. "Bye Dr. Lake." She said politely. Meanwhile, Jackie grabbed the little coat and threaded it on the small pair of arms. "Here's your hat Betsy."
As soon as they were all out on the sidewalk, Jackie stopped and poked Eric in the chest with her finger. "Why didn't you stick up for Michael?"
Eric put his hands over Betsy's ears. In a low voice he answered, "Because she was correct. We can't tell Kelso what is wrong with his daughter or how to fix her – that's his job as her dad. He needs to be here. I'm sure Brooke did 95% of the child rearing in this relationship….I think it's time for Kelso to step up and be responsible."
Jackie didn't want to admit Eric was right but she wanted to help as much as she could. "Well, she could have been nicer."
Eric smiled, "I'll agree. Her um….bedside manner….was lacking."
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It was almost like a little date! Jackie sat across from Eric as Betsy ate her bowl of ice cream in the small diner. He was drinking coffee while Jackie sipped on a diet cola. "Okay, you can ask me one question, any question and I'll answer it."
Eric looked puzzled. "I can't think of anything I'd want to ask you." He answered honestly. What was Jackie doing?
She twirled her straw. "God Eric, you've been gone for years. Isn't there something about being home that you'd like to know about? Something your parents couldn't tell you?"
Eric frowned. He knew that Donna was happy in California. He'd seen all his old friends at a forced dinnertime meal. He knew Bob was living in Florida and Aunt Paula was probably sailing around the world. Everything else was just noise in the background. But still, Eric could see that Jackie was expecting some kind of big question.
"Okay. I do have to know one thing." Eric confessed.
Jackie was excited. The salon/confidante knew everything that happened in this town. Whatever Eric Forman didn't know – she did. Okay Mr. Come-back-from-Africa-looking-all-hot-and-everything, "What's your question?"
"How did Fez get so fat?"
"What!?" Jackie nearly exploded. "You are gone all this time and you want to know how Fez gained weight?"
Eric smiled. "You asked. So, what's the answer."
Jackie sat back against the booth, slightly disappointed. Why didn't he ask why she looked so fabulous? Why didn't he ask how successful was her salon? No, he wanted to know why Fez was fat. Betsy smiled at Jackie with chocolate covered lips. She answered, "Fez discovered all you can eat pancakes at the pancake house. Every morning before work, he'd stop in for breakfast."
"Pancakes?" Eric chuckled. "I would have thought it was all that sugar."
Jackie shrugged, "Oh, he likes his that too, but not as much as warm maple syrup or blueberry compote. Well, there's that and the waitresses name was Candy. Fez thought he was in breakfast heaven."
Eric hadn't expected it, but a bubble of laughter burst out of his mouth. He hadn't been this amused in a long time. The image of Fez with a tower of maple covered pancakes was hilarious. Jackie crossed her arms. "Laugh all you want. You didn't have to live with the sight of him busting a seam in his leather pants at Angie's wedding. You didn't see him get stuck in the tube at the water park. You weren't there when…." Eric held up his hand. His eyes were watering as another bubble of laughter burst forth. "You're killing me."
Betsy looked up, "Uncle Fez steals my candy."
Eric bent over laughing and it was contagious – Jackie found herself laughing too. "I forgot you missed out on some stuff."
Eric wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, "Me too. I didn't think it would matter, but man – that's funny." He sipped his coffee and looked at Jackie. "Okay, since you asked, I'll give you the same option… you can ask me one question, any question and I'll answer it."
Betsy dropped her spoon, "Uncle Eric, why are you always so sad?"
Jackie's mouth fell open and Eric was dumbstruck.
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Connor was starting a fire with a stick match and coaxed the nearly damp leaves into an admirable attempt at creating warmth. Eric was sitting on a log breaking pieces off a loaf of bread. "It's not like mom's cooking but it's food." He quipped.
Connor grinned and spiked his bread on the end of a branch and toasted it over the small flames. "I swear Eric, if it wasn't for this training…."
Eric nodded. "I know. I didn't see a future for myself and now….it's just weird."
Connor looked up at the blanket of bright stars in the dark sky. "Do you ever think about your girlfriend….what was her name?"
Eric looked at the outline of the mountains. "Donna. No, what we had was so long ago. I mean in my experiences here. Not in real time."
Connor nodded in understanding. He poked the embers and added a couple more branches. "I never really had a girlfriend. My folks…well, they sent me off to boarding school so I really didn't get the whole dating thing…I mean we did have fun in Egypt.."
Eric grinned and laid back on the wild grass. "Connor, you have a lot of life ahead of you. Don't worry so much about what you didn't have…dream about what you could have."
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Eric woke up before reliving the screams of his dying friend. How could anyone just move on from experiencing death – a violent death at that – just yards away? Eric could still smell the blood, hear the tearing flesh and grinding of bone. It was merciless.
Betsy Kelso had merely asked, "Uncle Eric, why are you always so sad?"
Eric wasn't as sad as he was undeserving. It could have been him! Maybe god was chastising Eric Forman for coming out okay and unharmed, yet taking the life of his good friend and coworker. Connor Morgan was a great guy and wonderful teacher. He had a promising career and his life was cut short.
Eric hung his legs over the side of his bed. At least this time he wasn't sleep walking! He glanced at the glow of his alarm clock. It was just after midnight. Maybe a cup of warm milk and some fresh air would change his perspective.
When Eric got to the top of the stairs, he could smell cocoa. Someone had a similar idea in mind. "Dad? What are you doing up?"
Red was stirring milk into a pot and adding cocoa powder to the mix. "You're mother has started snoring again…" he looked at his son and added, "…don't tell her I said so. I figured I'd get something to drink….maybe a piece of that cobbler and try going back to bed in a bit. What are you doing up?"
Eric sat down on the kitchen chair a little heavier than he intended. "I'm still having nightmares."
Red knew something was going on with his son, but not the details. "Are they worse than mine in the Navy?"
Eric accepted a cup of hot chocolate and decided to confide in his father. "Probably on par with your adventures."
"I'm here if you want to talk." Red offered. Then he was stunned when his son laid bare all that he had been holding inside. Red experienced the trauma second hand, but nevertheless, it was brutal and he could understand why Eric was still so affected by the death. Red put a hand on Eric's shoulder. "Son, I wish I had something wise to say but I will tell you... it gets better."
Eric wiped an eye and looked at his dad. "Time?"
Red nodded. "You won't forget. You'll never forget, but time dims the memory and it's not so horrible around the edges and every once in a while you'll open a beer for you…. and one for your friend …..and just toast the good times. Then you move on."
Eric nodded. "There's more."
Red blinked. "More than that?"
Eric shrugged, "How about for another time?"
Red nodded, "Yeah….I think I'll need more than cocoa if you're going to share another story." He stood up and gave Eric a hug, which was hugely rare and left his son with some wise words. "You're in Wisconsin now. There are no wild animals and the worst you can do is get drunk on a school night. Find a hobby and a girlfriend and make yourself happy."
Eric toyed with the handle of his cocoa cup. "Thanks Dad. Thanks for listening."
Red waved. "No problem. One day I'll tell you about the foxhole I was stuck in with four sweaty guys. That will give you nightmares!"
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The oven was on, the counter tops were stacked with dishes of food and Eric was still bringing in grocery bags. "Mom, the fridge is full."
"Honey, there's an ice chest in the garage. Can you clean it out and I'll put the pies in there."
Red was leaning on his cane. "I'm going to rest in the living room."
Kitty stopped stirring the snap beans and glared at her husband. "You're going to watch that gosh darn football game."
Red grinned, "Hey, better than being in here possibly tripping my beautiful wife with my walking stick."
She smiled, "Red Forman, it's a good thing I love you. Now get out of here." She turned to her son, "Eric, that ice chest isn't going to get in here all by itself." Kitty delegated the chores and turned back to the stove humming and stirring. She was in her element. The kids would be here with Betsy, Paula was stopping by and Eric was home for Thanksgiving dinner. This was special.
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Jackie was running the curling iron through Betsy's hair and listening to the guys debate the most popular video of Steven's collection. Unfortunately, she had heard this discussion too many times and Purple Rain won every time followed by War Games as a close second. She thought back to how nice it was to have a conversation that wasn't the same topic over and over. Although Jackie was still curious about Betsy's question, "Uncle Eric, why are you always so sad?" she figured that Eric would talk when he was ready.
Announcing Betsy Kelso was as pretty as a picture, Jackie grabbed her coat and headed for the door. "I guess we'll see you guys there." Betsy held her Godmother's hand. "Bye daddy."
Kelso waved at his daughter and reached for another handful of peanuts. Fez was carefully guarding his bag of pretzels. "Okay then Michael. Just don't forget to pick up Betsy after dinner." Jackie opened the door and ushered Betsy out into the cold. Shivering, she made sure the little jacket was zipped up. "We are going to have some snow this year!"
Betsy smiled, "I like the snow!"
Jackie used slow measured steps to walk to the car. "Make sure you buckle up back there."
Betsy smiled. "I will!"
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"Stuffy!" Betsy shouted as she struggled to remove her heavy jacket. Eric turned around and replied, "Shorty!" they both laughed as Jackie set her handbag and coat on a bar stool. She watched as the pair seemed very at ease with each other. Betsy high-fived Eric's hand and ran for the dining room.
Fluffing her hair, Jackie walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. "Why does she call you Stuffy?"
Eric mused. "When I came back….I guess it was after the funeral and Kelso needed a babysitter, Betsy told me she didn't remember me and that I was stuffy. I told her that she was short….hence the nicknames."
"Well, she gets along better with you than Michael." Jackie observed. "He's just a big kid. I left the apartment and all the guys were going on about movies and eating snacks. Not one of them cared that it was Thanksgiving or that Betsy needed new holiday memories to help her move on."
Eric smiled. "Well, at least she has you."
Jackie liked the smile but suddenly felt an oncoming nicotine attack. "Er, I forgot something in my car." She quickly grabbed her coat and purse and ran out of the kitchen. Eric watched Jackie run out the door and then turned to help his mother in the dining room.
Standing in the shelter of the garage door, Jackie lit up a clandestine cigarette and inhaled the smoke. It wasn't like getting high – nowhere near as good, but it satisfied a small place in her brain. The quiet of the afternoon and having this bit of privacy was good. A little lonely, but good. From her hiding spot, she watched as Michael, Steven and Fez strolled up the driveway laughing and joking. She stood back in the shadows so they wouldn't see her.
"That stuff will kill you Jackie." Eric's voice startled the brunette. She dropped the cigarette and smashed it with the toe of her shoe. "It was only one."
Eric walked around the hidden cubby and leaned against his dad's Toyota. "One of how many?"
Jackie bit her lip. "I've only had 3 this week. I'm trying to quit."
Eric lifted a brow. "Three cigarettes or three packs?"
"Singular and quit being a wise ass. I've been chewing gum like crazy and I just needed one right now. Not that it's any of your business."
He crossed his arms over his chest. "You're right. None of my business, but if you come in the house smelling like smoke well…..everyone is going to know."
Jackie sighed. She could smell it in the fur of her jacket and it was probably in her hair. "You're right. How am I going to get this odor out of my clothes so it's not obvious?"
Eric remembered his small bathroom. "Come down to the basement. I think we can fix you up." He pulled the silver key from his pocket. Jackie narrowed her eyes, "You have a lock on the door now?"
Eric nodded. "I live in the basement."
Jackie blinked. "Is this like….like your bat cave or something?"
He grinned. "Or something."
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