OMG! An update! It's summer so I have time to write a little :3

I still don't own. Enjoy!

Realization

I got up, but it's not like I ever went to sleep. I could not sleep no matter how hard I tried. I have had my fair share of sleepless nights, but this one was certainly one of my worst, if not the worst. At around 5 AM, I gave up and stood up, stretching the sleep or lack thereof from my body. I took a long, warm shower, a much longer shower than anyone should ever take. Tyson tends to take showers that go on forever. The shower I took this morning could rival even Tyson's. The water was relaxing. I think I might have fallen asleep in the shower for a moment.

The warm water felt good against my sore muscles. For the time I spent in the shower, I thought. As if I hadn't thought enough last night. I tried to clear my thoughts, so I could focus on the day, on what I have to do. Though Rei might not want my help just now, he needs it and I must do my best to help him.

After my shower, I walked to the kitchen and prepared some coffee. I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, Rei would be making tea, but I realized it was still very early. I was alone in the kitchen, it was much too silent. When my coffee was ready, I helped myself to a mug and walked to the dining room, where I sat and drank in silence. Even though it would be silent if Rei was here, at least I would be with him. I would get to look at his still beautiful face...

My heart ached when I thought of him. I was scared. I couldn't bear to lose him. I regretted all those years when I was so cold and mean to him, enough for him to think I don't like him... I felt like such a jerk. I hope it's not too late.

A couple of hours later, Max, Kenny and Hillary got up and joined me in the kitchen. Hillary prepared breakfast and we ate. I was very sad and my friends noticed. "Are you okay, Kai?" Max asked me, worried.

I didn't know if I should tell them he wrote me a letter. Surely, they would be happy he contacted me, but they would not be happy of the contents of the letter. I didn't want to worry them further. "I didn't sleep too well. I'm fine." I said. They did not seem satisfied.

"Are we training today?" Kenny asked. "Yeah." I answered. Surely some exercise will make me feel better.

"Should we wake Tyson up?" Hillary asked, hesitantly. Max seemed uneasy. He had a black eye already and probably didn't want another one. "No. I don't want to deal with him today." Max seemed relieved but still pensive. We quickly finished our breakfast and got changed to train.

I trained my friends until lunch. I didn't work them so hard, as we were all tired. It was actually nice enough without Tyson's constant whining. At lunch time, we took a break. Hillary prepared some food for us and while she did, I decided to check up on Rei. He wasn't in the living room and his bedroom door was still closed. I guess he won't be coming out today. It broke my heart to know he was on the other side of the door, but still so far away. I wasn't sure if I should come in. I ultimately decided against it, as I figured if he needed me, he would come to me.

Tyson was also nowhere to be found. I guess he would also stay in his bedroom for the rest of the day. I couldn't help but feel bad for him too. Surely, he was hurting too.

It crossed my mind that perhaps I should try to talk to him. I sighed. Sometimes, I just looked for trouble. I knocked on his door. "Go away!" Tyson shouted from the other side of the door. "Tyson, I just want to talk." I answered. "You're the last person I want to talk to! You're just gonna blame me for everything!" His voice was shaking. "I'm not going to blame you. I just what to know what's going on. I'm worried about you." "No, you're not! You hate me! You only care about Rei!" "I care about you too. You're just aggressive and I don't know how to deal with you. I think we need to talk."

There was a moment of silence and finally, Tyson opened his door. He was looking at the floor, ashamed. He had cried. "Thanks." I said. I walked into his dirty, smelly room. We sat on his bed. He was defensive, with his arms folded over his chest, looking away. "What is it?" He asked. "You tell me." I answered. "Why are you acting like this?" "I don't know." Tyson said quickly.

"You know, what you say about Rei is very mean." I said. "He might not answer, but he listens and I'm sure it's very hurtful."

"I don't care." He said, even though he had a guilty look on his face.

"I know you care." I said. "You care about Rei very much, as much as we all do." Tyson was silent and tears became to flow from his eyes. "What's wrong with Rei?" He asked. "He's not well, Tyson. He's not healthy and needs our help. We need to work together. I know it's scary." Tyson was getting very emotional. "You understand your reactions are not helping?" He nodded silently. "Kai, I'm scared..." "I know Tyson. But you have to stop acting like that, okay?" "I'll try..." "That's all I'm asking."

"When will he get better?" Tyson asked, finally looking at me. "I don't know, Tyson. I might take a while and it'll be difficult. But Rei needs all the help he can get, okay?" He nodded again.

"Tyson... I would really appreciate if you would go apologize to Max for hitting him." I asked him, hopeful. For a second, he looked like his old stubborn self, before he took a deep breath. "Okay."

I couldn't believe how well that went. He was probably getting tired of acting like a jerk. We walked back to the dining room where Max, Kenny and Hillary were eating lunch. When we walked in, they all turned to Tyson with accusing looks on their faces. He became defensive again and almost walked back, but I caught him before he left. "Max, I think Tyson has something to tell you." I said, as Tyson spun back around slowly. He looked straight at Max and saw his black eye. Tyson was ashamed. "I'm... I'm sorry, Max." He finally said, holding back tears.

Max smiled at him. "It's okay, Tyson." Max was quick to forgive. "Guys... I'm sorry for acting like such a jerk." Tyson continued. "I just... I... I don't know why... but... yeah..." He couldn't explain it. "Will it change now?" Hillary asked, not quite trusting the transformation just yet. "Yeah... I'll try." He answered. Suddenly, the atmosphere seemed much more relaxed.

We had lunch together and it was actually nice.

I had a hard time believing Tyson was so quick to change. I'm sure he understood he was being an idiot, but he was too proud to admit it and change. But, now he had swallowed his pride and hopefully things would only get better from here.

After lunch, we trained some more. Though I'm sure the temptation was strong, Tyson actually managed to not bitch the whole time. Yet again, I didn't work them so hard so it wasn't so bad. We had fun together, like we used to, though it wasn't quite like the old times. There was still someone missing...

Around dinner time, we stopped training. Hillary prepared dinner and we ate together. We had a good time. The small moment of happiness of being able to eat without conflict was much appreciated, but the underlying worry for Rei still affected everyone.

Tyson wasn't eating like a pig and actually helped us cleani the table and the dishes afterwards. However, he was silent and still seemed a bit uncomfortable. Hopefully, he will be back to his jolly old self soon enough.

After dinner, we all moved to the living room, where we watched a movie we actually all agreed upon, though I'm sure Tyson compromised. We had a good time, chatting like we used to. Tyson and Max seemed to have patched things up. I knew they wouldn't be mad at each other for long. They had been close friends for much too long.

I was too preoccupied with Rei. I hadn't seen him all day. I was beginning to wonder if waiting for him to come to me was the right thing to do. Maybe he's waiting for me to go to him. I promised myself to go see him before going to bed.

After the movie, Tyson himself suggested that we should all go to bed early so we could train. I couldn't believe he actually said that. The others agreed and got ready for bed. I had something to do.

Hesitantly, I walked to Rei's bedroom, not quite sure what to expect. The corridor was dark, except for a dim light coming from Rei's bedroom. The door was open. I noticed the small timid frame walking out of the room. Rei was wrapped in his blanket. As he walked into the corridor, he saw me, stopped and we stared at each other. He had been crying. He looked gorgeous in the dim light. He took a step towards but stopped, wrapping his arms around himself, looking down. I walked to him, feeling terrible to see him looking so sad. I regretted not checking up on him earlier. It seemed as if he was mad at me... "Rei, are you okay?" I asked, though of course I knew the answer.

Rei was about to cry again. I moved close to him and offered him a hug, which he accepted. He cried silently on my shoulder. I almost justified my not coming to see him earlier, by telling him I had expected him to come to me, but I shut up, figuring it would not help. "I'm sorry, Rei." I said. He just hugged me. I rubbed his back and held him until his crying ceased. He pulled away from me and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards his room. I followed him.

His bed was in shambles, it had probably not been made for the last two months. My letter was sitting on the night stand. Rei sat on his bed and shyly indicated for me to sit next to him. My heart was beating wildly as I sat next to him on his bed. The second I sat, Rei hugged me, put his head on my chest and cried. I was worried he might notice my heart beating like crazy. I stroked his hair, hugging him back. He almost seemed at ease. He looked up to me and gave me a weak smile, and I smiled back. I guess he was glad to have me around.

We lied down on his bed, under his covers. Rei was hugging me, laying his head on my chest. I felt at ease, lying with him felt natural, and right. I held him gladly, enjoying his presence as long as I could. Rei had calmed down, breathing slowly. "Are you sleeping?" I asked, whispering. He shook his head no against my chest. "Rei..." I wanted to say something, but I didn't know how. He looked up to me; he looked beautiful, within my embrace. "I read your letter." I finally said. "Can we talk?" He nodded slowly. "Rei... I'm scared." I did my best not to cry, because I don't cry. Rei buried his face in my chest, he seemed nervous. He had probably dreaded this conversation. I was looking straight at ceiling; it helped me say the things I had to say.

"Rei, do you think about suicide?" There, I said it. It was like a weight was lifted off my heart, but I was still weary. My voice cracked, as I started crying. Rei seemed almost paralyzed, staying perfectly still, not even breathing, and clenching my shirt within his hands.

And then, he started crying. I held him tightly. "...E-everyday..." Rei whispered. My heart skipped a beat when I heard his voice for the first time in two months. He sounded weak, dying, he didn't sound like Rei. I turned to lie on my side so I could look at him, straight in his eyes. I rubbed his cheek, not knowing what to say, muted by my own tears. "... Help me..." He whispered, as his crying picked up. "I will..." I said, as I cried also.

I held him as tightly as I could, I was scared I would crush him, but I couldn't help it. Rei held me as well, crying, screaming. "Don't leave me..." He said, between screams. "I won't, I promise." I answered, meaning every word.

I held him for hours, as he cried, like he did every night. I felt his pain, I wanted to share his pain, take some away from him. He was suffering as I had never seen anyone else suffer. I could only hold him as he screamed, having found his voice again. Eventually, his grip on me lessened, his cries died out slowly, as sleep finally claimed him. I stroked his hair and his sleeping face. I placed a careful kiss on his forehead. Hesitantly, my lips moved to his. I was like I had no control of myself. I kissed his lips, wet with tears. My heart was beating wildly as I tasted him for the first time.

It was like I was dreaming again. I had forgotten the conversation we had just had. I only saw Rei, lying in my arms, sleeping peacefully. I kissed him again, as if we were lovers. I held his sleeping frame to me and soon enough, sleep claimed me as well.

Sorry for the wait, guys. Thanks for your patience.

Stay tuned, I promise the next chapter won't take months to write!

(Please review :3)