FYI this is officially the turning point of the story. It takes place 18 months after the last chapter.

There will never be a day I won't think of you

The sigh that escaped Joss was one filled with contentment. For the moment she was free of all worry and all remaining doubt.

She couldn't discern the reason for her new confidence, but she welcomed it. Perhaps it was her desperation that caused her to believe that her escape plan would lead to nothing but victory. Or maybe the new confidence was a result of her captors giving her new liberties, thinking she had accepted her fate to serve their purpose. But Joss was convinced that the greatest reason for her confidence was the presence of her new partner.

Joss looked over at the subject of her thoughts. The girl was asleep and Joss smiled at how peaceful she looked. Prior to the girl's arrival Joss worked most of her cases alongside Pierce. And although Pierce never mistreated her, he kept a firm eye on her, and a loaded gun at his side. Prepared, should she try anything.

But five months ago, that changed. Peirce and Vince brought this girl in as their newest recruit. And introduced her as Joss's new partner.

Joss would forever thank God for that moment. It was the turning point in her life since waking from the coma. The girl was as miserable as Joss had been when she first learned she was stuck working for Vince. So Joss gave the girl what she had needed in her lonely days. A friend.

In turn she gained a friend. They shared their fears, the lives they had been ripped away from, and their hopes. Most importantly they shared their determination to escape and regain their lives.

Even better her partner was smart. Had skills Joss couldn't imagine. Skills that would aid their escape. Joss was the fighter and her partner was the brain. Together they would get out.

Joss's smile deepened. "Beware Vince," she whispered, "our days here are numbered." I'll be home soon John and Taylor.

..

When you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free
if you can still remember, spare a thought for me

John opened the passenger door and watched a pair of burgundy pumps appear, settling securely on the ground. He extended his arm and the soft hand belonging to his date slipped into his. He pulled her smoothly out and to her feet causing her to smile.

"You're such a gentleman," she said softly her praise accompanied by a sweet smile. Her red hair blew in the wind as she stood beside the car. John closed the door behind her then took her arm walking towards her apartment building.

"It's nothing," he assured.

"After four dates I should be used to your chivalry, but… it's been a long time since I've had it shown my way."

John lifted one brow. "You make it sound as if you've never had a decent date."

Her teeth played with her bottom lip and he made out her blush in the dark. "Would you believe I have bad taste in men? I know surprising for a therapist. I just seem to be drawn to men who aren't worth much of anything. You being the exception of course." She blinked her eyes growing serious even as her smile remained in place. "You're an exception to a lot of things. Opening doors, seeing me home, paying for dinner. Not even pushing for more than a kiss."

Reaching out John tucked a piece of fiery hair behind her ear. "You know the reason for that."

"You're right I do. I know you need time to heal from your past relationship. I'm fine with taking things slow. We're making progress John. I can see that even if you can't."

Little did she know, he could see it too. He was texting her more, calling more. Looking forward to being with her when he was not.

"So…"

"I'll call you tomorrow," he promised.

She grinned a beautiful smile, her eyes brightening even more. It was obvious Iris was falling hard and fast for him. His heart pricked with guilt. To hide it, he leaned forward kissing her. She latched onto him her arms coming around his shoulders, she pulled him closer. Tonight, he allowed himself to take her in his arms. His hands splaying on her back. It was so different how he didn't have to bend down to kiss her since she was taller than Joss.

His eyes tightened at the thought and he pulled her closer to him wanting to block out that thought. He didn't want to think of Joss. Not tonight.

However Iris misread his response. She pulled away a smirk on her face as if to say 'told you so'. "Goodnight John."

"Goodnight." She stole one more peck before walking to her door. John watched her his guilt growing with every step.

He liked Iris. She was beautiful, sweet, and easy to talk to. Easy to listen to. At times she reminded him of Jessica. Full of goodness. She was an escape from the danger and chaos of his life.

He met the therapist a few months ago when she hired him under his new cover as a private investigator. As a result they spent several days together as he worked her case. Iris then offered him a few free counseling sessions as a thank you for his help. John took up her offer, only looking for a way to talk to someone.

However soon after those sessions began, Iris made it known that she cared for him as more than just a patient. That confession and one kiss gave him the courage to ask her for a date. He liked her enough to at least spend time with her and his new identity gave him the freedom to do so, so he took the opportunity.

But there were certain things about their relationship that gave him pause. For one, he hadn't been completely honest with Iris.

She had no idea that his cover: John Riley private investigator, was just that. A cover that hid who he really was. She didn't know that he still worked for Finch. Didn't have a clue who Finch was. She wouldn't begin to understand the dangers he faced day in and out. In addition his past with the CIA had not been mentioned.

Neither did she know everything about the woman from his past, although she thought she did. John had given her a jaded story that summed up his relationship with Joss, allowing Iris to draw her own conclusions. He never corrected her assumptions. The only true facts Iris had about the whole situation was that he had lost a woman he loved and had been left with a broken heart. But even worse, because she didn't know about Joss, she didn't know about Taylor.

When John met Iris he had worked her case alone and had never mentioned Taylor. Throughout their relationship he never even alluded that there was someone in his life that meant as much to him as Taylor did. This was probably his greatest deceit. But he wasn't ready to tell her about Taylor. If he did it would mean things were serious and although he cared for Iris, they were nowhere near serious.

But he was trying to move on. To embrace life again. And Iris seemed like a good woman. But with all the secrets that surrounded them he wondered if her view of him would change if he revealed the truth.

Iris always looked at him as if she could see past his hardened exterior and see something in him that was good. John liked that. But if she knew the truth of who he was, and what he had done, would she still see good?

Joss had.

But perhaps Joss was the only woman who could love him for him. Who could look at him and still see good, knowing what he had done. Not excusing his past, but forgiving him and seeing it for what it was. A mistake.

If he was going to continue his life with Iris he had to figure out if he could live with her only loving him as the man he presented to her now.

Those thoughts plagued John the entire drive home. When he walked into his apartment he wasn't surprised to find Taylor sitting at the counter studying. A corner of his mouth lifted. About five months ago he had finally won one battle and convinced Taylor to go to school part time.

John took a step, but was surprised when Bear came running forward. Giving the dog a rub on the head John walked to the kitchen.

"Hey T. I thought I told you not to sneak Bear up here anymore."

Taylor smiled unapologetically. "He whined when I tried to leave him earlier. What was I supposed to do?"

John shook his head, taking off his jacket and throwing it carelessly on a chair. "'Sides I needed someone around here to keep me company. Where've you been? Working?"

"No. Just around."

Taylor watched John through narrowed eyes as he grabbed a glass of water. Suddenly he understood the reason for the evasive answer.

He had been with her. Taylor realized silently. The her that John thought he knew nothing about. Taylor could always tell whenever John had been with his girlfriend or whatever she was. He walked differently. Came across as defensive. And he always looked conflicted and never overly happy. The only emotion that always shined through was guilt.

Inwardly Taylor smiled. He knew he ought to be happy that John was trying to move on, but truth was he didn't want John to get over his mother. Not yet.

The only reason he and John were tight now was because grief had brought them together. John had stepped in as a second father, but if John fell in love, where would that leave them?

Taylor tried not to let those thoughts bother him, but it was hard not too now that John was actually seeing someone. Especially when John was keeping that someone a secret.

If this woman really meant something to him, wouldn't John want him to meet her?

"What are you going to do for your birthday?"

Taylor blinked, his thoughts stopping abruptly at John's question. "Uh… I-I don't know." He paused to think. "I was thinking we could catch a movie."

John chuckled. "Another Marvel film? Is there a new Avengers movie coming out?" John had developed a high tolerance and even a small interest in the films, thanks to Taylor.

"Maybe."

"Any other plans?"

"I'll spend some time with Grandma. That's it. I'd really like if we can just hang out. No work. Maybe we can go on a road trip."

John smiled at the thought, but his smile faltered as another thought came to mind. "Maybe… you should do something with your dad. I'm sure he'd appreciate….being included in your plans."

Taylor stiffened. Why was John bringing up his dad? Again. John had been mentioning his dad more and more recently.

Oh no. Taylor's shoulders fell. How come he hadn't put the clues together? John bringing up his biological dad, John's new girlfriend. Was John trying to push him off onto somebody else so that he can start a new life with his girlfriend?

How long did he really expect this thing with John to last? Forever?

"I've told you," Taylor said, voice strained as he struggled to be patient, "I don't really know him that well. Sometimes things are awkward. I don't want to spend my birthday like that."

"Yeah, but T I think it would be good. For you and him."

"What does it matter? He's been gone most of my life."

"Yeah, but he's here now. And he wants to get to know you-"

"Why do you care?" Taylor snapped. "You got your wish, I'm going to school. Can't you leave the issue with my dad alone!"

John assessed Taylor with caution. Nearly two years with the kid had taught him not to take everything at face value. The rejected look in his eyes revealed much. John groaned. Had he someone how made Taylor feel unwanted with his suggestions. Figuring the kid out was still difficult.

"Taylor I…" he paused. "It's not that I don't want to spend your birthday with you. But I… can't keep being selfish."

Taylor raised a brow in question.

"I can't pretend I'm your father when I'm not. No matter how much I'd like to."

His brown eyes looked up hopeful so John continued. "I love you T. I'm sorry if I never told you that. You're the closest thing I have to a son. You're the only family I have, but I can't steal all your time and rob your father the chance of at least getting to know you. If I care this much about you, I can't imagine how he feels. It would be right to at least give him a chance. It would be right for you too. And…I think your mom would've wanted you to try."

Taylor stared at John and slowly nodded. Relief flooded him as he started to understand everything. The reason for John's suggestion and the reason for John's secrecy.

"Okay. I guess…I can ask my dad to meet me at Grandma's for dinner."

John nodded.

Standing Taylor came to John and gave him a hug. "Thanks John. I love you too."