My breathing was calm and steady as I lay in one of the beds of the hospital. Bandages were wrapped over my torso, ribs, and legs as I was instructed to stay in bed for the next two to three months. After we had found the hidden Innocence (which was inside found inside of a little kid's ball, of all things), we were jumped by some Akuma, two of them being Level 2. On record, I had two broken ribs with a dent in my chest cavity – too close to my heart for comfort; plus I had put too much strain on my legs. Due to all of the stress on my body, my spine had literally left me paralyzed in bed. It wasn't damaged but while my body was healing itself, my spine was forcing me not to move while it did that.

'How nice that my body takes care of itself while forcing me to rest.'

Turning my head, I saw Abbott in the next bed, asleep, with bandages wrapped around his torso, and a cast around his right arm and leg. It turned out that a Level 2 had snuck up on him and attacked his right side with bombs, which both arm and leg had taken the most damage for.

"Thana? Are you awake?"

Looking at the door, I smiled seeing Bak stand there with Fou walking in next to him. Both harboring angry faces – although Fou looks like she wants to kill me. Now I really wish that I weren't paralyzed to the bed.

"Good morn–."

"It's afternoon dumb-ass. What the fuck were you thinking?!"

I expected Fou to lose her temper as much, "Well, I couldn't just let him die there."

"We would've sent someone to get you two! Think straight for once, will ya?!" Bak was holding Fou back – though he was doing a poor job, making me nervous that she's injure me even more. "Fou, stop! She's already injured enough!"

"Like hell she is! I'm tired of these hard-headed Exorcists getting themselves killed!!"

Underneath – and I mean deep, deep, DEEP underneath all of that anger – I knew that Fou was worried over me and Abbott during our time here at the Asia Branch. She'd helped train us and learn the limit and weaknesses of our weapons. So for her to be so furious at me, I understood her position as Bak managed to calm her down, convincing her that if she kept on yelling, she's wake up Abbott.

"Tch. Just watch it next time." Nodding my head, Fou closed the door behind her as Bak stood there with that same angry expression on his face from earlier.

'And now it's Bak's turn.'

"I won't yell at you. But what you did was pretty irrational thinking." Shrugging my shoulders, I looked away across the room, "I didn't know what else to do. Had I waited, he could've bled to death."

"But putting that much stress on your body? Do you know how much worse it could've been?!"

"I could've died. My legs might've given out on me. My injuries could've knocked me unconscious, putting me and Abbott into a more dangerous situation, failing the mission." Bak didn't expect me to answer him – let alone, know the answer. Looking back at him, I smiled, "I'm always aware of everything that could go wrong. That's why I always try to use the most effective way to prevent it." I could see the hesitation in his eyes as he looked at me. I guess I had him at a loss for words.

"By the way, you lied. You said you wouldn't yell at me."

His eyebrow twitched in irritation as he turned away from me, "Just be glad you're alive."

I laughed at his embarrassment, closing my eyes to get in a nap, "Everyday."

After a few silent moments, I heard the door close behind him as Bak left the room.

"You're one hell of a chick."

Opening my eyes, I looked over to see Abbott looking straight back at me.

Déjà vu, much?

But after getting to know Abbott while in the Asia Branch, I had gotten used to this trait of his. Aside from his looks, he was actually pretty smart and would constantly belittle me about how contradicting my personality was. True, I did have a contradicting personality, but that doesn't mean I wanted him to rub it in my face. But along the way, I got to see him as an older brother in a way.

"I thought you were sleep."

"I was. That is, until Fou's mouth opened at full volume."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

He waved me off while looking over across the room, "You make it sound like it's your fault. It's fine. Besides, I needed to wake up from this bad dream anyway."

"You had a bad dream?"

He nodded before yawning, "It was just really weird and creepy. There's nothing around me but black. Just black, nothing else. I can't hear anything, can't feel anything. I'm not even breathing. It's like I'm in an astral plane or something. Then there's this loud cackling laugh and I'm gone."

"Gone?"

"Gone. I don't have any connection with my senses anymore and I'm just gone."

I felt goose bumps rise over my skin at the sound of the dream, "That does sound really creepy."

"But I'm awake now. And probably gonna be able to leave the hospital before you."

"Not surprising. You don't have an involuntary spine forcing you to stay in bed." We both laughed, but I quickly hissed at the instant pain that I felt, "Damn."

"Looks like you can't even laugh at your own pain." Shaking my head, I just stuck my tongue out at Abbott. Even though he wasn't looking at me, I was sure that he saw me.

"That's not very lady-like."

"Sometimes it's best not to act like a lady to get a point across."

"And your point being . . ?"

I couldn't answer, growling at my lack of a comeback.

"Exactly. So just stay in bed like a good girl."

"As soon as I'm out of this bed, I'm so kicking your ass."

". . . Did I mention that you're scary as hell when fighting?"

"More reason for you to worry about me fighting you."

Too worn out to continue the little mini-argument, Abbott went to sleep. Not too long after, Gala came in with the two Innocence in hand as she stood near my bed, "How are you feeling, Miss Thana?"

"I've been through worse. Though this is definitely something new to me." Gala simply shook her head at how lightly I was taking the situation as she patted my hand, "Well, I'm just glad to see you alive. I was quite worried for you when you and Abbott never came back from last night."

A sweat drop appeared on my brow as I laughed nervously, feeling guilty for her worrying over me, "Sorry about that. It's only because we were taken by surprise that we were late coming back is all. And we thought it best to find the Innocence as soon as possible before the Akuma did."

"Miss Thana! If you keep doing things like this to your body, you can get seriously injured – even enough beyond repair!"

Waving her off (in my case, just turning my head away), I kept my tone calm and clear.

"I'm fine now, aren't I? Besides, I've gone through worse things than this. I'll be fine so long as I stay in bed."

Gala stayed quiet as she remained next to my bed. I could feel her gaze getting more intense as her concern for me grew with each passing second. My eyes stayed to the wall as I tried to ignore her silent pleas through her stare. I know she was genuinely worried about me and Abbott. But this all comes with the job of being an Exorcist: you have to be prepared to sacrifice your life in order to complete the mission.

I heard a sigh of defeat from her as she walked back towards the door, "All right Miss Thana. I'll let you rest without my bickering. But please consider others around you on your missions. You're not the only one fighting out there – you don't have to take all of the damage for others. That's why they're there with you: to work together as a team – so that no one is a burden to the mission or each other."

I heard the door close behind her while contemplating over what she said. What was I really that blind-sighted when it came to fighting on missions? Sure, I was aware of the consequences and knew that if I ever took the situation for granted for even a millisecond that could be the end of me.

But that was part of the job, right?

It was my duty of being an exorcist that it's necessary, if need be, that I put myself into that types of position in order to protect those around me and to prevent any of the Akuma from destroying the Innocence.

I was just making sure not to be a burden on others . . .

Wasn't I?

**2 Months Later**

My smile grew wider with each step that I took into HQ, feeling people giving me looks as I passed by them all. Abbott was progressing with me as he walked behind me, shaking his head at how much my mood had changed as soon as we were inside of the building.

Earlier in the Gondola, I wasn't exactly in the greatest mood ever.

**Earlier on the Gondola**

My fingertips brushed lightly against the surface of the water as Gala continued steering us through the Underground Waterway, bringing us closer to HQ as we had just gotten back from our mission. Abbott carried both of the Innocence as he sat across from me, watching my solemn expression with concern etched into his face, "Something you want to talk about?"

My eyes continued staring at the ripples of contact between my fingers and the water. The guilt had sunk in not too long after Gala had talked to me in the hospital. Now I was starting to question on how much I was being selfish in my actions in achieving my goals while never noticing how much I was affecting others around me.

"It's nothing bad. I'm fine."

"That's a lie. Throughout these past three months, I've learned more about you than you think I do."

Damn his sharp intuitions.

The slight twitch of my eyebrow gave me away as he kept pressing the subject further, "So what's wrong?"

". . ." I heard him sigh out of frustration before continuing, "Fine, don't talk. Just be a little brat and sulk in your own depression. I'm just trying to help."

I wasn't aware of just how much his impact of words affected me until I saw a new duo of ripples spread throughout the surface of the water. Knowing it wasn't my fingers, I touched my face to feel wetness on my cheeks and more tears fell into the water, producing more ripples.

"It'd really make you feel better if you talk about it." He must've seen my tears as I could hear the tone of concern in his voice.

Sitting up, I wiped my tears away before looking at him, straight into his eyes, "Am I a burden to you, Abbott?"

His eyes widened with surprise at the question. "What?"

"During the mission, have I . . . caused you more trouble than needed – with anything that I've done?"

"Where's this all coming from?" Leaning toward me, his eyes never left mine as I fiddled with my fingers, hoping that he'd sooner answer my question.

"Please, just answer me. Have I been a burden to you and the mission?"

"No, of course not. If it wasn't for you, I probably would've ended up in a worse position than I was before. Now why the tears?"

Looking down at my fingers, I felt my heart beat furiously with all of these emotions that felt so intense to me. My eyes starting brimming with more tears as I tried to hold them back.

"But had I not decided to be so rash with my decisions, I would've never left you alone with those Akuma and then you would've been fine."

"But that's not what happened, is it? Clearly, you chose the most effective way of defeating them and it worked, didn't it?"

"But your wounds –."

"My wounds are fine. And the past is the past. There's nothing you can do but acknowledge what's already been done and move on with the present." Bringing a hand to my chin, he lifted my head up to meet his eyes, which were starting to look a little glassy. I gasped as his eyes were starting to water with tears, "Abbott!"

"I've never met a person like you in such a long time. You remind me so much of my mother, it scares me: Always putting others before you, having that kindness behind your eyes, and apologizing for things that can't be helped." Tears started falling freely from his face as I started feeling more guilt for causing this pain in having to remember a lost loved one.

Reaching out to his face, I wiped the tears away and smoothed any stray hair strands away as my hand rested on his hair, "I'm so sorry Abbott. Really, I am."

His hand rested on top of mine as he closed his eyes in comfort, "I know you are. Though there's nothing to apologize about." His eyes opened again with such reassurance that it eased the guilt rising in my chest, "But I assure you with this: You, Thana, are no burden. If anything, it's a blessing for the Order to have someone like you around."

My lips curved up into a growing smile as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders in gratitude, "Thank you, Abbott."

His arms did the same as he rubbed my back, helping me calm down some, "Anytime."

**Back with Thana**

"Thana!"

My thoughts were interrupted by a head of red jumping onto me, pressing its new weight against me on the floor. I was a little distorted before my sight re-adjusted itself for me to see an old friend grinning down at me.

"Lavi!"

Glee overflowed within me as I pushed my weight back at him, sending him to the floor with me hugging him on top. I'm sure that those around us were probably giving us a quick curious glance, but thought nothing of it. Since both me and Lavi have such a close resemblance of hair color, people at HQ often get us confused as siblings. But we're not even the slightest bit related (at least, not to my knowledge), just making us really close friends.

His arms circled around me as he sat the both of us up, "How've you been?"

"Great! What are you doing here?"

Gesturing to the oncoming elderly man behind him, his grinned broadened with his usual smug self, "Bookman business – as usual."

Helping the both of us up, Bookman walked up beside him, glaring at Lavi with a scowl. "You're an embarrassment to the Bookman Clan."

"What? I can't say hi to an old friend?" Gesturing to me, Bookman looked back at me, his scorn toward Lavi replaced with a respectful acknowledgment of my presence as he bowed.

"It's nice to see you again, Miss Thana."

I smiled at Bookman while bowing back in respect, "It's nice to see you too, Bookman." It would've been nicer to hug him, but I knew that Bookman wasn't too welcoming to such affectionate things like that, so I respected his limitations of physical contact. Especially with my understanding of the job of being a Bookman.

"Wish I could stay longer and catch up, but I'm leaving with Komui soon to head out to Germany."

"Aw . . . That stinks. What for?" Walking further into HQ, I gestured Abbott to follow before following Lavi and Bookman to Komui's office.

"Apparently, the Noahs have made themselves known and one of them attacked Lenalee and another Exorcist named Allen Walker."

Hearing the names of both my friends, I couldn't help my voice rising in great concern over them as I bombarded him with questions, "What?! What happened? Are you sure? When did this happen? Are they okay?"

Lavi jumped at the sudden amount of questions but knew of my anxiety over my friends' care – it was nothing he wasn't already used to. Resting his hand on my shoulder, he kept me calm while smiling down at me, "They're fine. We're just going now so that we can inform Allen about some things instead of waiting until he gets back for his other mission."

My body eased down with relief as I heard that they were both fine, but I felt a pang of sadness tug at my chest with the words: "other mission".

"So when you go over there, you'll be informing him on his next mission?"

"Pretty much. He must be a nice guy if he's got you all worried over him like this."

I nodded my head as we reached Komui's office, "Yeah. He's a good kid."

The door opened before us as we made our way inside, seeing Komui getting ready to depart with Bookman and Lavi. His serious face loosened with surprise as he saw me and Abbott walk in with them. I could tell that the mention of the Noahs for Komui had gotten him stressed if he had actually looked serious when we were only going to check on Allen and Lenalee.

"Oh! You're back from your mission?"

"Yes, sir. And we've retrieved both of the Innocence."

"Both?"

His eyes darted over to Abbott as he came up to him with both of the Innocence in hand, "We managed to find another one while on the mission to retrieve the already captured Innocence."

"I see. Thank you. You can hang on to those until we visit Hebraska on the way out."

"Supervisor, I know you didn't plan on me tagging along but –."

"You can come too, Thana. I understand your level of concern with both Lenalee and Allen."

For once, I was speechless at Komui with his sudden take of seriousness. That is, until he ran over to me and hugged me tightly with streams of tears poured out of his eyes, going on about how important it was for Lenalee to bond with me, "After all, Lenalee needs her big sister to be there for her ~! To love, adore and –!"

His praise was interrupted by my hand at his neck, cutting off his air supply, "Just stop."

Nodding his head, I let him go with the others around me feeling a little threatened at how easily I got irritated by Komui's antics. Checking to make sure there was no damage to his wind pipe, he signaled us out while I had a sudden thought.

"Um . . . You guys go on ahead to Hebraska. I'll meet you at the door."

Abbott looked curious at my sudden task while everyone else just expected as much. Waving his hand, Komui turned back around with the others following, "You have twenty minutes!"

My mind was now aware of the time as I ran the other way, seeing Abbott's inquiring eyes glance at me before following the others. I didn't slow down for even a second as I gained closer to my destination: The Training Room. Knowing Kanda, he was probably in there, venting out any frustrations he couldn't take out on the Finders. Lucky for me, he preferred the one on the ground floor since it was closer to the cafeteria (he likes to restore his energy after working out).

My footsteps slowed as I opened the door before me, my smile growing as I heard the familiar swipes of Mugen in the air as I closed the door behind me. I waited until after he was done to speak, "You look like you're ready to kick someone's ass."

". . ." My brows furrowed with unease, feeling something wrong as he refused to face me but instead sheathed Mugen and ignored me as if I wasn't there.

"Usually, when someone's talking to you, it's polite to at least acknowledge their existence with some sort of communication."

"Fine, you're annoying. Go away."

Rolling my eyes, I came up to his side, snatching his towel away.

"You could at least say hi. Is something the matter? Are you mad at me?"

His glare startled me, making me stunned at just how angry he was. Obviously, something had set him off today and it wasn't the wisest thing for me to aggravate him even more.

"The only thing that's the matter is that you're in my way. Move." He shoved his shoulder against me, catching me off guard as I stumbled for my balance.

"Kanda . . ."

Watching him gather his shirt, I slowly made my way over, being careful not to get him even more mad as I stood there, debating what in the world it was that had him so heated right now.

I doubted it was me, but then again, he's not really giving me any clues saying it's not. Could it have been someone in the Order that pissed him off earlier? But who? Most people have enough common sense to not mess with Kanda, especially when they're fully aware of the consequences. So that's out of the question.

My mind sorted and eliminated any other possible reasons and the only thing that hit me was that he was mad at me.

But for what?

"Are you mad at me?"

After putting his shirt on, he glared at the ground, not bothering to face me as I was forced to communicate with him with his back turned.

"Why the hell would you care?"

"Why wouldn't I? Kanda, what is wrong with you? I came back wanting to talk to you before anyone else and you're mad at me for something I didn't do! Or if I did, I'm not aware of it!"

I didn't mean to blow up like I did. Honestly, I didn't. But I was trying to at least get a little gratitude from him for going out of my way to see him before leaving again with Komui and the others.

"So say whatever it is that you want to say so that I can leave!"

But I didn't expect him to blow up on me, either.

"Fine! You're a brat with no self-esteem whose only purpose in life is to live up to what standards other people put up for you! You're nothing but a burden! You think you do the best thing for others around you, when you just make it worse for you and them! Is that what you wanted to hear? Now leave me be!"

Silence enveloped the room as I stood there, staring straight into Kanda's furious eyes. His panting was all that filled the space between us as his glare never fazed. He meant every word of it. There was no regret or apology present in his eyes. He had seen me as nothing more than a burden. Not only to myself, but also to others around me.

I wanted to yell at him – kick his ass, pull his hair, call him names – God, how much I wanted to! But I just shook my head as I turned toward the doors. It wouldn't have mattered if I had done something or not. There's nothing I could've done to make that pain in my chest go away.

Before leaving, I spoke in a bare whisper, "It's nice to know the truth, Kanda. Thank you." Shutting the door behind me, I walked away from the training room, making my way over back to the Underground Waterway, determined to leave HQ as soon as possible.