Chapter Seven Breaking Ties
Something feels off. It feels like I'm being taken away, running. What is that? "…Ms. Dwyer? Ms. Dwyer, do you think you can enlighten us with the answer?"
I barely knew who he was referring to until the human next to me cleared his throat.
"Sorry Mr. Armstrong. The answer is Ayn Rand. She's the author of 'ANTHEM'." He smiled, seemingly pleased and very impressed with my answer.
"Thank you Ms. Dwyer. Now can someone else…" I let Mr. Armstrong's voice fade out. I'm thankful that my brain is so substantial. I'm able to think of thousands of things in one second then most humans can in one year.
I went on ignoring the lesson, sure, no, not sure, positive that I know everything being taught. Everything he's going on about. My brain is extremely developed. I just wanted to concentrate on this feeling of damage, of something being misplaced. The feeling became extremely eerie after a while and I literally dropped down in the emotion department. I felt weak and half of me felt damaged. What is wrong with me?
When English class was finally over I rushed out of the door, eager to see Jacob, but he wasn't there. However Johnny was. "Renesmee, you have this class?" I nodded my head, still looking for Jacob. "Are you all right? You seem kind of lost." Perfect word there Johnny. I am lost and it appears that Jacob is too.
"What are you doing here Johnny?"
"My friend Matt has this class, I'm waiting for him." He paused looking over my shoulder. "But," He said refocusing back on me. "If you want I can totally blow him off and walk you to your next class. Besides, I want to ask you something, you in?" With one more glance around me I agreed.
I had science next, chemistry and I had to walk upstairs. Johnny walked silently beside me. Keeping him mouth glued until we were on the stairway. Then he launched in to the situation that took place in the cafeteria. "So that guy was your brother? He's kind of over protective."
I laughed. Yeah, I can see how he could mistake my father saving his life for being overly protective.
"He's not my brother. He just likes to act like it, they all do."
"Not that Jacob guy." He mumbled. I let it go as if I didn't hear anything. He doesn't know what he's talking about. "Tell me more about yourself Renesmee?" He asked after the moment of awkward silence that followed his little remark. I sighed hating this story. This story seriously sucks.
The lie, the story of me, Renesmee Dwyer, goes as following….
"My sister and I, our parents, along with Jasper and Rosalie's parents, the Hales, along with Jacob's parents, the Blacks passed away in a major car accident. The Cullen's were really good friends of our families. All our parents grew up with each other, so the Cullen's took us all in after the accident. I guess they felt bad or something because they were supposed to be in the car that night, but they back out at the last minute.
Our parents always got together a few times a week, but that time the Cullen's had business so the rest of the parents went out and not one of them came back…."
The story, the plot, seemed so real that it brought actual tears to my eyes. I can never imagine my parents ceasing to exist. That's unbearable, intolerable.
"Aw Renesmee, I'm really sorry." Johnny stopped me at the top of the stairway and through his arms around me. Instantly I held my breath. This guy is truly amazing and I have to feed him this sack of lies. I truly hat this girl, Renesmee Dwyer. "It's okay Renesmee. Look, I want to ask you something?" I straightened up, swabbing under my eyes and looked up at him. "I know you don't really know me, and I know that you may possibly have a thing for that Jacob guy, but I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to the school dance that's coming up soon?" This boy is perceptive.
"Why do you think I like Jacob? He's been my best friend since birth." Johnny smiled his dazzling smile and his eyes seemed to do the same.
"Well at lunch when I asked you if you liked him you never really answered the question. You covered it up. That's okay you know. We could be friends. We can get to know each other and I can introduce you to some of the good people around here, and if something just so happens between us then, well, maybe then we could be more then friends." I was in awe yet again by this beautiful boy. He glanced at his cell phone then quickly back at me. "How about you think about it and let me know tomorrow? Good. See you later Renesmee."
"Ness," I told him politely. "You can call me Ness." He leaned down to place his lips to my cheek and uncontrollably my eyes fluttered closed. My eyes never did that when my parents kissed my cheek. I can't wait to get home, to talk to my mother and Aunt Alice.
I walked into my Science class looking for Jacob, but there was no Jacob. Where is he? Science sizzled out with a small explosion made by our teacher Mr. Husted. I was relieved to leave the smoking room.
Next I had Music Appreciation with my mother. My father gave me a few piano lessons when I was younger and now I play, if not better the equal to him. I make fun of him when he misses a key. But with a glare that say's, 'I brought you in this world and I can take you out,' he quiets me.
My mother is taking this class to get better at playing the piano. My father tried to teach her, but she got easily frustrated and agitated with him. She needed someone who was a beginner themselves to teach her and for god sakes please let that person have patients, because mom sucks at music.
When I walked into the music room she was seated next to a harp. I laughed and she rolled her eyes. The last time my mother was by a harp it wound up in Uncle Emmett's chest. I was only grateful that you couldn't kill vampires that way. After that she was banned from ever looking at one again.
"There were no desks as you can see." She tried to defend herself. "How have you been? No more slips?"
"No, but something is wrong with me." Instantly she was alarmed.
"What do you mean, what's wrong?"
"Mom, calm down. Nothing is wrong, physically, but...I don't know. I just feel kind of weird, kind of off. Have you seen Jacob? He didn't go to science." She looked away quickly, avoiding my eyes. What is she doing? "Mom, I didn't ask you to confess to a murder. I only asked if you've seen Jacob." She shook her head, still looking away from me. I reached over, placing my palm to her cheek. I showed her two pictures; one of me looking at her with deadly accusing eyes and the other was of her face now, lying to me next to another picture of her face when she's telling me the truth.
MOM! I screeched mentally. She winced as my voice echoed in her head.
"Renesmee," She turned to me, starring directly into my eyes. "He went home." I didn't know if it was the apologetic look in my mothers eyes, or the part of my brain that knows Jacob so well, but when she said home, I just knew she wasn't talking about our two story house in the woods, or our three story house in Forks. I just knew she meant back to La Push. Back to La Push and away from me. Jacob is gone.
I didn't even feel the rest of the day. I didn't see it and I didn't hear it. My senses were numb and I was tired. After gym, my seventh period, my father met me outside of the gym doors and led my lifeless body to his silver Volvo. My mother was in the front seat looking back at me as my father slid me into the back seat of his car. I barely noticed the school disappear behind me, or the trees pass by…My world, my life, gone.
"Renesmee?" my father whispered in a low crooning voice. It was a very even tone. My dead eyes searched and found his face. We were at a stand still. No, we were at home. But where is- "Your mother left with the others. I wanted time alone with my daughter. Come inside with me?"
He offered me his hand and without dithering I took it. I need help getting out anyways. "Daddy, why does it hurt so much?"
"It's okay love." He scooped me into his arms, something he'd done when I was just a child, A small little devil falling off of swings and slides, and at inhuman speed he walk us into the house. I was sobbing before he could sit me down in the middle of the cleared living room. Everything was gone; the television, the couches, the drawing tables, vases, rugs…it was bare. "I'll be right back Nessie, don't move." He sped off, heading up the stairs. I heard a small commotion in my room, and then he was back, my stereo in hand. He plugged it into an outlet and pressed play. I waited one-tenth of a second before music filled the room.
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It was our song, my lullaby. He'd composed if after the Volturi, thirteen years ago. Every time I had a nightmare, a bad day, a bad thought he would always ask me if I wanted to dance. It's our thing, our song. "May I have this dance?" I didn't say anything; I just ran into my fathers arms. I needed to be held by someone, even if it was just my dad- "Ah thank you sweetheart." He said sarcastically.
Dad you didn't let me finish. Even if it was just my dad, I wouldn't rather anyone else. He kissed my forehead and I rested my head in his chest. I repressed everything around me, except for the music and my father's arms. He squeezed me tighter as the music swelled. I closed my eyes and let the soft melody flow through me.
It was soft coming out of the speakers, but you could tell, just by listening to it that it was working up to something bigger. The melody was soothing that's how it caught me in the first place. The soft notes reminded me of my family and how they loved and cared for me. "How do you feel Nessie?" my father asked after a few moments of silence.
"Do you really want to know bout this? I mean you might object." He chuckled.
"I want to know baby girl. Tell me."
"I know it's only been a couple of hours but I miss him daddy. It feels so wrong for him to be so far. Daddy I feel…broken without him. And I'm so sorry, because I know you object to the way I feel about Jacob, the way I think about him, but I can't help it. Why didn't he say good-bye to me? I got grounded for him."
"What?" He asked startled and half amused.
"I figured if I got grounded then he would have to talk to me more 'cause I'd be trapped in the house. I know you daddy and when you say something it goes. You said I was grounded and I knew you would have given me a nice human grounding; no television, no car, no out doors. I'd be inside and he'd be inside and we'd have to talk… I know I was mean to him today, but I really just wanted him to talk to me. Sounds stupid, doesn't it?"
"No, of course it doesn't, Nessie." He silenced himself once again and the music continued to flow through the air. My dad is amazing. He halted the conversation just before my favorite part. At exactly one minute and thirty-two seconds the Piano starts to swell and reaches a peak and then it burst in to the air with a strong and accurate composition piece, and I loved it. This was the part in the song that reminded me of Jacob when he phased. For that brief moment when he phases everything burst around him then like the music it shifts into this amazing piece and softens and I melt. My eyes filled with tears as my favorite second passed.
Who was I kidding? Jacob would never see me as anything other then a naïve child. I was stupid, so stupid to think he'd see me as anything more, so naïve. This world beholds some of the most beautiful women in it, why would he want me?
"Why wouldn't he want you?" my father asked, agitation sneaking into his voice. "Renesmee, I'm tired of hearing you relegate yourself. You are the most beautiful thirteen year old in this world and in any other. Jacob Black would be a damn fool not to accept you. But Renesmee you should know that you are not the reason he left. Jacob is going through something very important right now and so are you. He needs to find out what he really wants in life and you need to grow in yours. I know I said I object to Jacob, but Jacobs not such a bad guy. I just want you wait and think before you do something you can't take back. Experience life more, go to college, live then fall in love. Like your mother your doing things out of order."
I giggled. "Mom didn't do anything out of order daddy. She did everything perfect to a 'T'; she found the most fantabulous guy in the world and then she feel in love with him, and them she got married and had me. See, everything was right." He snorted, kissing my hair.
"Like your mother you see extremely more in me then there is. Renesmee, things will work out. I promise you that. I'm going to personally see to it that they do."
Thank you daddy, thank you for everything, especially this dance. I really did need it.
"Shh, it's okay sweetie. It'll all be okay." We both went silent, for good this time. We let the rest of our song play out. We let it swore and skim through the room and instantly I was ready for sleep. I didn't want to fight the drowsiness. I wanted this long painful day to end. I wanted this nightmare to morph into some place where Jacob and I were together. I wanted to dream…..
A/N: I hope you guys liked it!!
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