Chapter 7
Hermione stretched her sore back as she trudged down the corridor. When she rounded the corner, there was Pansy leaning against the stone wall as if she were waiting for someone. Hermione kept her eyes fixed ahead while she tried to breeze past the Slytherin girl.
"Interesting marks on your neck, Granger," Pansy said softly. "Next time, tell Draco not to pull so hard."
Hermione stopped in her tracks. She turned slowly on her heel as she fixed a cool expression onto her face.
"Pardon?"
"You have bruises on your neck." Pansy pointed towards her throat. "I used to get the same ones when Draco pulled too hard on my tie. You have to remind him to be more gentle. He tends to lose control when he's fucking."
Hermione's stomach felt heavy with dread. "While it's nice that you're trying to give me advice, I have to say the topic you chose to be amicable over I find quite disturbing. Furthermore, these marks are from a curling iron—Muggle invention—something I'm sure you know nothing about. "
Pansy's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "I know a lot of things, Granger. Remember that."
Hermione pursed her lips. "I'm sure you think you know a lot of things, Parkinson."
Hermione spun back on her heel and stalked off as fast as she could.
Draco drew lazy circles along Hermione's arm, watching the goosebumps rise from her skin. She shivered as his fingertips grazed the sweat slicked skin of her throat.
"Don't worry about Pansy," he murmured. "She's just trying to scare you."
She pulled away from his hands and turned on her side to face him.
"What if she knows?" Hermione asked. "What if she tells everyone?"
"That's the thing about blackmail. The information is useless once you tell it. Pansy knows better."
"So…I'm incriminating to you?"
Draco frowned. "Of course. You know that."
Hermione frowned back. She turned slowly, so she wouldn't fall off the couch, to put her back to him. His cold fingers curled around her shoulder.
"You know that, right?"
"Yes." She squeezed the answer through her clenched teeth.
"You're lying."
She was lying but it didn't stop her from getting annoyed. "Look I said I know. I know you don't want to be associated with me."
He breathed out a heavy sigh. "Don't put it like that. You know that if anyone would find out about you and me then it would be…" Draco tried to search for a better word but couldn't find one. "…then it would be a liability."
Hermione laughed once without humor. A part of her knew he was right but a larger part was stuck on Ginny's situation with Blaise. Hermione didn't want to end up like her. She slid off the couch.
"Maybe we should avoid each other for a while," she said as she pulled on her cloak. "For your sake. Wouldn't want to be a liability."
He stared up at her as she moved around the room to gather her things. "You're being ridiculous."
Maybe she was, but she was too upset to admit it. Hermione paused the door. She opened her mouth but no words came out. She stood there a moment before turning and leaving.
Hermione laughed at something Ron said. Ron looked surprised, but sent her a warm smile. A smile she hadn't seen in long time. The familiarity was a welcomed comfort. Ginny sent her a look over their breakfast, but Hermione pointedly ignored the red head. It felt good to feel like her life was going back to normal. To a time that she call Pre-Draco Malfoy.
Hermione could feel Draco's eyes on her. The heat of his gaze made the hair on the back of her neck rise. She told herself it was not from want even though it had been almost three weeks since he had touched her. Almost three weeks since she had peaceful sleep. Two weeks since developed a nervous habit of scratching behind her ear. One week since she remembered to eat regularly. And one second since the last time he crossed her mind.
Hermione pushed another laugh through her lips as she fixed her eyes on Ron's face. She stopped listening to him five jokes ago. It took all her focus to keep her eyes from straying to the one person who was on her mind. To the person who was boring holes into her skull with his piercing glare.
"Where's Lavender?" Ginny asked with a glare.
Ron shrugged. "I dunno."
"Shouldn't you know where your girlfriend is?"
"I'm not her keeper," he muttered.
Ginny snorted. "You used to be her Siamese twin."
Ron glared at his sister before ending the conversation by shoving a forkful of egg into his mouth.
She gave up on talking to her brother and turned to Hermione. "Where's Harry?"
Hermione shrugged. "Probably sleeping in. You know how he's been lately."
Ginny pursed her lips pensively but said nothing else.
Hermione's eyes wandered around the Great Hall. They subconsciously steered her gaze to the blond sitting at the Slytherin table. Draco's eyes looked away as he smirked at something Daphne said. Hermione's gaze turned into a glare. An emotion she could not name panged deep within her stomach. She watched as Daphne whispered something in Draco's ear and placed her hand on top of his.
Hermione stood suddenly. Everyone looked at her in confusion.
"I forgot…something in—in the common room. See you in class." Hermione rushed out of the Great Hall.
She made it past the large doors before the tears begun to sting her eyes. Someone put a hand on her shoulder. Hermione jumped, but it was only Ginny. The Weasley girl ushered her into the nearest empty class.
"Shhh…" Ginny soothed. "What's wrong?"
"I feel so stupid," Hermione hissed. "Why did I even try with him? I knew he wouldn't change. I knew he'd be ashamed of me. Sometimes…sometimes I wonder how different it would be between us if my blood was different. But blood is something you can't change…something I shouldn't have to change because it is a part of me. It's who I am and if Draco can't accept it…then it's not going to work."
Ginny patted her knowingly on the back.
"I know he has his reasons," Hermione said, "but I can see this will lead nowhere. I can't keep doing this. I can't let myself get more and more involved with someone I can't have a life with…with someone who doesn't want to be seen with me."
"I understand," Ginny said, "but you can't lead my brother on like that."
"What are you talking about?"
Ginny sighed. "You know what I mean. You have him thinking there's a chance you two will be together."
"Of course there's a chance. I love Ron."
"No you don't. Not like you used to. Not like you think you do."
"That's absurd. Love doesn't change like that."
Ginny shook her head. "Why can't you see it?"
"See what?"
"You don't love Ron because you're in love with Malfoy."
Hermione stared at Ginny for three seconds before saying, "Its official. You've gone mental."
"Admit it Hermione," Ginny huffed in exasperation. "Can't you admit that you might be a little bit in love with the guy?"
"No. I refuse to be sucked into—into this—this delusion of yours."
"Why do you think it's a delusion?"
"Because it's so improbable it borders on ridiculous. I haven't even liked him long enough to be in love with him."
"The signs are there. You're barely sleeping. Barely eating. He's probably all you think about and the thought of him being with another girl probably makes you sick."
It was all true.
"That's not true at all," Hermione protested.
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Deny it all you want. It's still true."
Hermione scratched behind her ear. Her mouth opened and closed. She pursed her lips and scratched again.
"See, you have to know I'm right," Ginny said smugly.
Scratch, scratch.
"I don't have to know anything."
Ginny huffed. "Fine. Just know that I'm not going to stand around and watch you ruin you and Ron's lives by trying to force something that's not there."
"I'm not forcing it," Hermione muttered. "It's there. I know it's there."
"I know you're there, Greengrass," Draco muttered from the couch.
She huffed playfully and leaned against the armrest. "I wonder why I can never sneak up on you."
"What is it?"
"Can't I just want to talk?" Daphne asked innocently.
Draco cut his eyes at her. "This is Slytherin not Hufflepuff. No one here just wants to talk."
She laughed lightly. "Okay, I don't just want to talk."
He eyed her warily as she leaned towards him.
"I want you," she murmured before leaning in for a kiss.
Draco pushed her away.
Embarrassed, Daphne straightened. "What's wrong? I thought Draco the womanizer never turned a girl down. Not even when he was attached to someone…"
He frowned at her. "Obviously I turn girls down. I have standards."
Daphne glared at him. "No, this is different. I know there's no reason for you to turn me down. I'm pureblood, pretty, intelligent. I'd make an acceptable wife for any Slytherin. An acceptable wife for you."
Draco threw her a sharp look.
She smiled. "Yes I know about you and Pansy's marriage talks falling through. Everyone knows I am the only logical replacement. I come from a good family that's in good standing and has influence. There is something to gain on both our ends."
"I'm sure you have more to gain than I do."
She cut her eyes at him. "Don't be so arrogant. I know more than you think. I know your family is on shaky ground. A partnership with me can stabilize your situation."
Draco smirked at her. "You must think I'm stupid. We both know this isn't about me. It's about revenge. You've been living in Pansy's shadow ever since first year." He laughed. "You're Pansy's sidekick. You're to Pansy what Ron Weasley is to Harry Potter!"
Daphne's eyes became narrow slits. "You're one to talk. You must think I'm stupid. I know you've been sniffing after that Gryffindor bitch. After that Mudblood."
Draco kept the shocked look off of his face. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Come now Malfoy, all the signs are there. You're never in your bed at night and, from all the rumors, I take it that neither is Granger. I'm not dumb. I can put two and two together."
Draco stood. His body towered over hers. "I will not be threatened."
"I'm not threatening you," Daphne murmured as she moved to straighten his tie. "I'm informing you."
Draco caught her wrist. "Don't play with me. I am not to be played with."
Daphne pulled her wrist from his grip. "We'll see. I made my move. I have you in check. What will your next move be?"
She stood on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek. Then she walked up the spiral stairs to the girls dormitories. Daphne bumped into Astoria.
"What are you doing here?" Daphne asked her younger sister.
"What are you doing?" Astoria whispered with a hurt twinge in her voice. "How could you?"
"I'm doing what's best for us. You need to put your emotions to the side. They will get you nowhere."
Astoria shook her head. "No, you're doing what's best for you, sister."
Astoria slunk away up the stairs without a backwards glance.
"Shhhhh…" Draco whispered in Hermione's ear with a hand clamped over their mouth.
She stopped struggling against him. Hermione blinked a few times to adjust her eyes to the darkness of the broom closet. She waited in silence as her heart beat slowed. Her eyes closed. Her inhales took in his scent. A scent that was so familiar it caused her skin to heat and her heart to ache.
"Do you trust me?" he whispered.
Hermione nodded.
"Then do everything I say," Draco said. Draco removed his hand from her lips. Her face felt cold from the loss of warmth. "Wait here, and stay quiet."
She nodded again.
Draco slipped out the closet.
She waited.
There was a sound of soft footsteps echoing down the hall. "Hello Draco."
"What do you want, Pansy?" he asked dryly.
"I'm sure you know why I asked you here."
"No I don't actually."
Pansy laughed. "Fine. Play dumb. We both know that I know about you that Mudblood."
"Which Mudblood? You'll have to be more specific."
"Granger," she hissed. "The know-it-all bitch of Gryffindor."
"What about her?"
"I know you're fucking her."
"Even if I was, what does it matter to you?"
"You know what will happen if the dark lord finds out. Your father will stay in Azkaban. You will probably be tortured. Your little Mudblood whore will be passed around like the slut she is. And your mother…well I'd hate to know what would happen to her…"
Draco yawned. "Get to the point, Pansy. What are you trying to get out of me?"
"Step down, let Nott have your place."
Draco laughed. "Like I would ever step down. I was born to have this position. No one can take that from me-"
"Don't be so arrogant. You're already on dangerous ground as it is with the Dark Lord. He doesn't like waiting-"
"I don't need to be told," Draco snapped. "I know."
"Draco…" Pansy's voice softened. "Draco…I am doing this for you-"
"Don't feed me that bullshit."
"It's true!"
"You only care about yourself. You made that clear when you told me you wanted nothing to do with me-"
"Not all us Slytherins are that heartless. I did what I had to do for the both of us. Isn't that what we're all doing? What we have to do? Our lives aren't our own, Draco."
"Stop making excuses. Playing the soft card won't work on me."
"I hate you," Pansy's voice wavered. "How can you be so cold after everythin-"
"Are you done? I have more important matters to attend to."
"Fine," she hissed. "Go ahead and carry on with your Mudblood whore. Just know that your little play thing won't be around for long so enjoy it while you can."
Hard footsteps echoed angrily down the hall. A few seconds past before the closet door opened and shut with a soft click. His cool fingers sought her shoulders out in the darkness.
"Now do you see?" Draco whispered. "Now do you see why people can't know about you and me?"
"I had no idea…I never knew…."
"I know," he breathed, "It's…complicated…"
Silence.
"If you can't handle this, it's fine," Draco said.
Silence.
Draco withdrew his hands from her. His clothes shifted uncomfortably.
"Well then…" he murmured awkwardly before moving towards the door.
Hermione's warm arms wrapped around his hard torso. "We're both idiots."
"What?" he asked in surprise.
"It doesn't matter. None of it matters."
Draco stiffened in disbelief. "Pansy threatened your life."
He felt her shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. "My life has been threatened by far scarier people."
"But-"
"I already told you that I don't care."
Silence.
Draco's arms wrapped around her, crushing her to his frame. He buried his face into her frizzy hair and inhaled the scent of her Muggle shampoo. Hermione's fingers curled into his shirt. His lips crashed onto hers. She felt like was drowning. Hermione broke away to surface for air. Air rushed into her lungs in painful gasps. Draco moved his lips to the spot on her neck that made her moan. Her toes curled inside her sensible shoes.
"Draco…"
His hands moved to cup her bottom.
"Wait…Draco…we need to talk…"
"About what?" he murmured into her collar bone.
"About you and me."
Draco pulled away slightly so that their bodies were touching from the stomach down. She could feel his eyes on her face. For a moment, she quickly tried to hide the emotions on her face before she remembered that it was too dark for him to actually see her.
"What is it?" he asked.
"What is this? What is it that we're doing? What am I to you?" The questions pushed up from her gut and spilled from her mouth like vomit.
The questions hung there between them. Draco inhaled and exhaled nosily. If it were anyone else, Hermione would say it sounded like a panic attack. He breathed in and out as she counted each one. After his ninth breath his said:
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I don't know," he repeated.
"Why don't you know?" Hermione asked in frustration.
"Do you know?"
"I asked you a question."
"And I asked you a question."
"I asked you first," she said with mounting irritation.
"I asked you second."
Hermione sputtered. "What does that have to do with anything? If I asked first then you should answer me first."
"I don't care. I want you to answer me."
"You're being childish," she muttered.
"So are you."
Hermione wished he could see the glare she was giving him. "I just want to know why you'd risk everything for me if I meant nothing to you. I mean, that must say something about you and me."
"Yes I am risking everything for you and you have the audacity to question me. I should be questioning you. You get to live your little cushy life while I am the only one making sacrifices-"
"Oh get off your high horse, Malfoy."
"Malfoy now is it? I could have sworn a few minutes ago you were saying Draco…or moaning it actually-"
She pushed him away. Draco hit the wall and a few broom sticks from the sound of it.
"I don't understand how I could ever be the tiniest bit in love with a bloody git like you," Hermione hissed.
Draco stilled his struggle with the brooms. "Did you just say you were in love with me?"
Hermione sputtered. "I said no such thing. It was a purely hypothetical statement. Merlin, you are so vain."
"Well it's the only explanation as to why you are being so irrational."
"What I'm trying to say is this thing—you and me—can't work. It just can't."
Draco's movements quieted even further if it were at all possible. It sounded like he stopped breathing.
"Malfoy?" Hermione called quietly. "Draco?"
She wondered if he had died in that pile of broom sticks.
"Draco?"
"Why are you thinking so far in the future?"
"What?"
"Why are you thinking so far in the future?" Draco repeated. "Are you planning on doing…this with me for a while?"
Suddenly uncomfortable, Hermione scratched behind her ear. "Where are you getting that from?"
"What does it matter if we won't work in the long run unless, that is, you want it last?"
It was Hermione's turn to fall silent.
"You are in love with me," he stated as if were a sudden realization.
"I can't be in love with you. People don't just fall in love that quickly. It's completely unrealistic! Something like that doesn't happen in real life. It's completely irrational. No. No I am not in love with you."
"What makes you so sure that you aren't?"
"What makes you so sure that I am?"
"Ah ah I asked you first, Granger."
Hermione huffed. "I can't love you because I'm in love with Ron!"
"No you're not. Not anymore."
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" she muttered.
"What?"
"Look I refuse to be in love with someone who I don't have a future with. I refuse to do that do myself."
"So you are falling in love with me."
"Why do you keep saying that?"
"What do you have to be so scared of?" Draco sounded genuinely curious.
"Nothing," Hermione said quickly.
Draco moved towards her. "Then give me a reason."
"A reason for what?"
"Give me a reason not to." He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her body into his.
Her chest felt searing hot next his cold frame.
"Not to what?"
Draco backed away from her, muttering to himself.
"What?" she asked, thoroughly confused.
"Forget it," he mumbled before exiting the closet and leaving Hermione alone in the dark.
