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Lily lay in bed, trying to squeeze her eyes shut tightly, hoping that her body would take the silent messages her brain was screaming at it to sleep, but it seemed as if her body had a mind of its own that was going out of its way to defy her own mind. "Just go to sleep" she silently screamed at herself, but it didn't work. She lay there in the dark, trying to empty her mind just like she'd been taught during Healer Training.

Suddenly, she sat upright and looked towards her door. Even in the darkness, she could see James's silhouette pacing outside her door. That was what had disturbed the mind numbing reverie that she had put herself in. She had become so attuned to him once again that even when he was trying his best to be quiet, she could hear him. Seeing him pace up and down made her even more fidgety, and she finally gave in to the impulse that had threatened her since she'd walked into her room.

"James?" she said softly, but she knew that James would hear her. He too was attuned to her as they had been when they'd shared the Heads common room back at Hogwarts. Barely a few seconds later, her door opened slowly and James looked at her cautiously.

"Lily?" he asked gently. She swung her head and looked at him.

James's heart lurched as he saw the devastated look on her face and he rushed to her to gather her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Lily, I'm so sorry." He kept on murmuring, hoping that if he kept on repeating it, somehow it would make things better. James sat there on the bed rocking her as she clung to his arms. The rocking lulled him into the subconscious of his mind.

He didn't know how long he sat there in the woods, holding Lily as she cried herself, the tears never seeming to stop. He didn't know what to say to her, what to make the pain go away when in truth, there wasn't really much that could be said to alleviate the pain. He tried hugging as her tightly as she could, so that maybe his body heat would transfer to her body, warming her chilled fingers. Even though the front of his shirt was soaked from her tears, he realized that he was still warmer than she was.

Suddenly, James jerked out of his reverie and realized that there was something different about this scene than the one in the forest. His shirt wasn't getting wet, and there was something different about this situation. He looked down at Lily to find her shaking and sobbing, but for some reason, there were no tears. He looked down at her emerald eyes that were swirling and hazy, but there were no tears threatening to fall out of her eyes.

"I…I…just don't know how to exist in a world where they don't." she gasped, trying to catch her breath, and then she slowly pulled apart from James, settling down on the bed next to him.

"I know Lily…I know that it's hard, it's just…" he was at a loss of words, but it didn't seem to affect Lily.

"How do I go on living when I know that they aren't? They've been the most important part of my life my whole life, even when I was at Hogwarts, they were the most important part of my life, and now they're just gone." Her voice cracked on the last word. James started towards her but she pushed his hand down and turned to look at him.

"They didn't even do anything wrong, except for being…Muggles. Or maybe…it was my fault." She said, her voice shaking. James felt his blood pressure rise and he hastily interrupted her before she could travel down that line of thought any more.

"No Lily, you know that isn't true. Right now I know that it feels this way, it feels as if everything that goes wrong in the world is your fault but it isn't. It can't…and it won't. You are one person, you can't go around saving the world."

"I can go around saving my parents though."

"Maybe yes, maybe no. I don't know, I've never figured it out after all these years."

"Does it get any better? Does it get better at all?"

"I don't know Lily, it's been a year and sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday that I got the letter from St. Mungos, I honestly don't know. But what I do know is that it's hard, and you want to blame yourself, but you can't. You cannot focus your energies on blaming yourself because you need to move on, maybe not today, maybe not even this month. But you can't spend your whole life wondering whether was it your fault. You did the right thing by staying in the wizarding world, you did the right thing. And I am telling you this because I know that I am going to need your help to bring down the Death Eaters, we will find a reason for your parents' deaths, we will not let their death be in vain. And that, I promise you."

Lily started at James for a few seconds after his passionate speech, but slowly she started feeling drowsy.

"I think that I am going to sleep now." She said. James nodded and got off the bed.

"Wait James? I don't want to be alone tonight." She murmured softly. James turned back to her and replied,

"Of course Lils, scoot over." He crawled into bed next to her, and they both drifted into a deep slumber.

Author's Note: Sorry guys for the very very late update and the extremely short chapter. This chapter took me a really long time to write and basically whatever I wrote either didn't seem to portray what I was trying to say or it ended up being too long and drawn out, making it seem highly dramatic and movie-like which I want to try and avoid. I know that this isn't the usual length or substance of my chapters, but right now this is what I have that works the best. Once again, reviews are greatly appreciated.