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Glorp. A sound of distress and indignation, first discovered on Zweefle 17 by correspondent Tamun. In the native tongue of the Zweefulfeefians, it means any number of things, including but not limited to "I have spilled the last glass of champagne on my suede underpants" and "I have just been pinched on the rump by an amorous ill-clad member of the same sex whose shoes do not match their belt and am now cornered in a skanky bathroom by said person with several other persons who claim that they want to watch". Needless to say, it is a useful and versatile word.
AU. (ay-YOOH). Noun. Alternate Universe, much beloved of and abused by fanfiction writers. Wherein people and events change, mutate, or never exist at all. This can, admittedly, produce some very good and very interesting fic but, as with most plot devices, is less often used for good, or even "good-bad" than evil. "AU" is utilized quite often by those in the Lord of the Rings continuum who express a loathing for Arwen Undomiel (see also "Fangirl"), and wish to pair Aragorn with another female or male of their choosing. (see also "Slash", "OC", "Mary Sue", "OOC") Massively popular in the Potterverse amongst those who consider Snape/Harry, Harry/Draco, Lupin/Snape, Sirius/James, Lily/Giant Squid or Dumbledore/Harry to be their One True Pairing. (see also "Squick")
Despite extensive research, the concept of Fanon continues to befuddle quasi-sane beings everywhere. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy does not employ such beings.
Fanon, much like canon, is information widely accepted by the fans of (insert applicable universe). However, the primary difference here is that Fanon is not specified in any of the works of the Author, but is in actuality common supposition amongst fans of whatever work. This, of course, only works as long as all the fans know what the others are thinking all the time, a feat only once before achieved.
During the third season of "Xwhjgrwegjhrweehj, the Shdafdgfdhsjg", the Zweefulfeefians (a telepathic race that inhabits the planet Zweefle 17, a lovely place with tangerine beaches and verdant ziggurats and seven luminous purple moons) constructed backstories for both of the main love interests; namely, a happy and loving upbringing by seven maiden aunts for the Poor-Yet-Virtuous-And-Magically-Gifted-Woodcutter, and a degree from the School of Hard Knocks for the Handsome Warrior Prince. Considerable confusion, and numerous mental breakdowns, ensued when it was revealed midseason that the Woodcutter had been the one raised in the middle of the city and hadn't seen so much as a blade of grass before he turned twenty, while the Warrior Prince still lived at home with his granny and hosted the bi-weekly Crochet Team meetings.
Some of the more common kinds of fanon can be located in the Harry Potter continuum, such as the spell "flipendus" or the assumption that Remus J. Lupin, when turned into a werewolf as a child, was bitten on the shoulder. Though Mostly Harmless, fanon can, on occasion, conflict very badly with actual Canon (in the case of someone having a past that is wildly out of character) or can run directly opposite to Canon, which often happens in incomplete or open-ended storylines.
At this point, the fandom begins to fracture, causing great wars between the Denialists, who follow their fanon to the bitter end, and the Canonists, who believe that the Author is the supreme authority on Canon, and if the Denialists want to play in their own little world then they should Get Off Their Fat Butts and Write Their Own Stories, By Zarquod.
Jurisfiction research teams have been studying the possible effects of Fanon versus Canon, and have yet to release their results. However, this correspondent knows one of the researchers Quite Well and In An Entirely Platonic Manner, I Tell You. Therefore, if it's shiny, Urple, and Big Martin the Bookfiend is running away from it, you probably should try and keep up. Or, better yet, pull a Rincewind and pass him.
-Entry by eris86, Earth Correspondent and Big Martin Groupie
