A/N: I apologize in advance if the menstrual cycle is a touchy subject with anyone. There's a purpose for it being here.
Chapter 6: Trust
As soon as I was done in the field, I hurried to my room. I didn't leave for lunch, or for dinner. I stayed curled on my bed, my back to the door, studying the little clumps of dirt on the wall in front of me.
How had I been so careless? Why had I thought it would be alright to defy the humans and take their advice so extremely? I had been foolish, angry when Ian told me to work faster. I had decided to speed up, purposefully not paying attention, too spiteful to think of the bigger consequences.
Jeb had seen so disappointed in me. He'd shaken his head, and I'd heard whispers of a tribunal. Whatever that was, I knew it wasn't good. I would be killed, banished to the desert, something that would make me sorry for ever being so foolish. I felt warm tears fall down my face, my shoulders shaking slightly.
Candy and Lacey stayed out of the room, probably due to giving everyone an extra hour of work. I knew Melanie was outside, watching the entrance; I could hear her footsteps later in the day. I didn't want her there, I knew what she must have been thinking: I was terrible and deserved to be locked away, or killed, or whatever else they decided to do with me.
It must have been hours later when my ears picked up a quiet conversation going on at the door.
"She won't want to see you," came Melanie's voice. "She hasn't come out all day."
"Could you at least ask her?" the voice was so soft she could barely make out what it said.
"I think it's best for everyone if she keeps her distance." I tensed at her words. She didn't make my decisions. Out of spite, I wanted whomever it was to come in, just to annoy her.
"I brought her some food." My heart picked up when I recognized it to be Keeper of the Flame speaking. He'd cared enough to come by to see how I was doing. I had no idea why he would even bother with that, but I was thankful someone hadn't forgotten about me.
"I'll take it in to her."
"I…I was sort of…I wanted to…"
"Thought you said she didn't like you."
Well, I certainly wasn't very fond of him, so at least she and I agreed on something.
"I know, but…"
"Does this have anything to do with last night?"
"No." His voice was stronger, harsh. "Just let me go in, please."
I heard her sigh heavily. "Fine. If I start to suspect you two are doing anything suspicious, I'm breaking down the door, got it?"
I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
"I…right." I swore I heard him swallow.
The door opened quietly, but I didn't turn to meet him. I stayed still, feigning sleep.
"Runs as the Lizard?" he whispered. "Are…are you awake?"
I forced my breaths to even out, saying nothing.
"I brought you some chicken," he said; I heard him set down the plate on the nightstand beside my bed. "I didn't see you at dinner, so I got worried."
Why was he talking to me if he thought I wasn't listening? What did he have to gain?
"I'm sorry about what happened earlier." He paused. "You have to be careful. Everyone here has a place…I'm not saying you have to fit in right away, but resisting…it's not smart."
I almost turned around and asked him if he knew about what really had happened, but I caught myself before I could.
"I know it's not easy. But…I'd like to help. If you'd let me." He walked to the door, closing it quietly behind him.
Later that night, I was still puzzling over what Keeper of the Flame had said. I wasn't going to accept anyone's help, not even from the other Souls. But if I didn't get along with the others, they wouldn't hesitate to throw me out. I didn't want to face the unknown, not by myself. No matter how much I hated being here, I'd at least gotten used to it. Having to adjust to another environment, however temporary, was something I didn't need.
I swam in my little corner of the river, washing the last of the soap off of my shoulders. I'd purposefully taken a long bath tonight; I'd asked Melanie before I came if anyone else would be here. She'd stated they'd all bathed beforehand, not looking me in the eye.
There was another slight pang in my stomach. I'd started getting them shortly before coming here, and I was sure it was just because all I'd had for dinner was the chicken Keeper of the Flame had left for me. They'd been growing in strength, and I planned to lay down as soon as I got back to my room.
I'd been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn't heard someone approach. And of course, because I swear he was far too interested in me for his own good, as I turned around to climb the rocks to dry off, I was met with the wide silver eyes of Keeper of the Flame.
I immediately felt my face turn red. "What…what are you doing here?"
"I…I didn't bathe earlier, so I…" He turned his head away, his own face burning. "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware…"
I clung to the rock wall, thankful he couldn't see me from where he stood. "You weren't following me, were you?"
"No."
I sighed. "I'm going to get out now, so…I'd appreciate it if you…"
He nodded, shutting his eyes. "I won't look."
I climbed out, wrapping myself in the towel I'd brought with me. I dried off, quickly changing into pajamas and clearing my throat. "You can look now."
He opened his eyes, nodding curtly. "Um…I'm very sorry for walking in on you, I had no idea."
"It's…it's alright," I found myself saying. "You weren't aware."
"Are you feeling better?"
"A little, I suppose." I bit my lip. "Melanie told me about the chicken. I'd…I'd like to thank you for that."
"Oh. Um…you're welcome."
We stood for a moment in silence before I cleared my throat. "I, um…I should be getting back now."
"Runs as the Lizard, are you hurt?"
I frowned. "No, why?"
"There's blood where…right by…" He pointed. "Did you cut your skin?"
I looked over my arms, seeing no scratch, before registering the pain in my stomach. It was worse now, causing me to sit down for a moment to gather my strength. "I'll be fine, I just…I have to sit for a moment."
When I finally stood, Keeper of the flame wasn't reassured. I followed his eyes; where I'd been sitting was a mark of blood. My hands flew to the seat of my pants, everything finally clicking in my mind.
"Not now…" I shook my head, my face heating up again. "No, no, no…"
"You're hurt, aren't you?" Keeper of the Flame rushed to my side. "Do you need me to -"
"I'm not hurt," I said, unable to look at him. "I…it's…" I turned away quickly. "I have to get to Doc's." I clutched at my stomach, a particularly painful cramp shooting through me.
"Can you make it from here? It's at least a ten minute walk."
"I'll…be fine…" I winced again. "It's not bad, I…"
He stood before me, his hands on my shoulders. He took a deep breath. "Runs as the Lizard, I don't care if you refuse my help or not, I'm going to give it." He steeled himself, hooking one hand under my legs and supporting the other on my back.
"You're going to get blood all over you…" I said weakly.
"I'll make it quick, then," he muttered, striding down the tunnel.
