Chapter 7
"Good morning A. Nigma high students, I'm Tina Kwee." Tina said on the morning announcements as she waved away the hairspray Chaz had.
"And I'm Chaz Monorainian, you probably heard the buzz that this Friday is the annual founder's day play." He said said.
"Where we celebrate our first principal, the great patriot Alexander Nigma." Tina said holding up a picture of the school founder.
Lee blinked from her seat at the photo. "Dude's got a serious beard." She said to herself.
"Play tryouts are at lunch time so come one, come all." Tina said and started coughing on the hairspray.
"Yeah, rumor has it that our very own Tina Kwee ''wrote'' this years play, I didn't believe it either," Chaz chuckled and Tina glared at him, "I mean she can barely read the news poor gal, but the real news story here is I, me, yours truly, the Chaz, will be taking the title role again, and I just had…"
Lee blocked out the announcements as she felt her phone vibrate and she looked down at who the text was from. "Radcircles at A. Nigma high?" she questioned in quiet disbelief. "No way! The guy who set me up for the prank." She said and read the message. "Knock knock? What?"
"If you want to play Alexander Nigma, you have to audition like everyone else." Tina said.
"That's funny, but I've got it in with the writer, hello, we work together," Chaz said, "how about a little professional courtesy?" he asked before being slapped. "Ow!"
"Oh Chaz," Holger laughed, "you never learn, this show is so good."
Lee gave her friend a brief side glance before texting back into her cell her reply. "Who are you, and why did you set me up?"
Lee walked down the hall and found her friend Cam doing a strange rap about the founder and heard him mention the play. "You guys are trying out for the play? I thought you said plays were lame."
"Bro, plays might be lame to the O, but everyone knows actors get all of the chickitas yo!" Cam said high-fiving Holger. "Dude, you should try out to."
"Me on stage," Lee said pointing to herself, "again, nah ah, not gonna happen. Plus, one small detail, detention, which reminds me, I got this e-mail from Radcir-"
"Does this have anything to do with some long convoluted prank mystery slash conspiracy blab blab la thingy?" Cam questioned.
"Yeah, but-" Lee tried to reply but Cam held up a hand as he walked away.
"Sorry we gotta bounce, auditions yo." He said as he and Holger walked toward the gym.
Lee felt her phone vibrate again and looked at the e-mail. "He wrote back." She said to herself. "You were supposed to say 'whose there' now you'll never know. Ah!" she said slapping her head in frustration. "A knock knock joke? What are you, five?" she snapped before texting back. "Who are you?"
Lee pursed her lips before heading off to the detention room before she got dragged there by some embarrassing means and when she arrived, she grabbed a ball from the desk and started to bounce it back and forth off the wall when she sat down. "Balls in your court Mr. Circles, or should I call him Professor Rad?" she questioned to herself as she kept the ball in her hand. "Oh, Doctor Sphere is kinda cool." She admitted before switching the ball for her cell. "Whoever you are, you definitely deserve your very own special e-mail ring tone." She said before it went off. "Oh perfect."
Lee looked at the e-mail and made a thoughtful sound. "Hmm, why don't we meet, how about play tryouts, oh right you have detention my bad?" she read as her voice grew louder and more incredulous before smirking and dialing a number. "Yeah, too bad I have a way to know exactly where you are." She said and put the phone to her ear. "Biffy, I need to know where Barrage is."
"Yeah, kinda busy right now." Biff replied irritated. "What do think, I'm on twenty-four seven Barrage duty?" he questioned. "But," he said pausing, "you're in luck, he's exiting the parking lot in three, two, now. Looks like you're free. Gotta go, the life of the theatre calls."
Lee looked down at her phone in surprise as she raised a brow, but before she could get in a word, he quickly added, "Uh, I mean I gotta go beat someone up, bye" and ended the call.
Lee sighed as she ended the call herself. "Oh, and even though you already know, I like you a lot." She said despondently to the phone and frowned before proceeding to sneak out and head toward the gym. She looked in through the doors and looked around at the students all wanting to audition for the play. 'So Radcircles is obviously not the missing principal then it must be someone here, but who?' she thought before sneaking over to hide behind a bush card board cut out and texted in her reply. "Which part are you going for, the lead? Now let see who picks up first." She said looking over at the benches, only to see that most of the students were on their phones and she let out a frustrated sound.
"Man, strike one." She said as she heard Chaz finishing up his audition.
"Ask not what your school can do for you, but what your school can do for you." He said as he dramatically dropped to his knees.
"Oh kay, thanks, uh…next?" Vice principal Victoria questioned and Brandy walked up onto the stage while Lee saw a cleaner walking over with a box and ducked back down as he set the box down and left, Lee looking thoughtfully at the box.
Brandy coughed as she put her hands together. "Look Vinnie…"
"Huh?" Tina questioned.
"Yeah, look, I thought Alexander was kind of blah so…" Brandy trailed off as Tina interrupted her.
"That's his name." she said.
"Shh, she's got the floor." Victoria said shushing the girl and put a hand on her shoulder. "Let's see where she goes with it."
"Look Vinnie, you may have shown them whose boss with your whole bla bla bla school thingamagig…" Brandy said as she took on an accent and Lee had taken to putting on a hat, monocle, trench coat and a scarf to wrap around the lower half of her face so she could walk around in public and looked through a song to put on the e-mail. She felt ridiculous, but it was all she had to work with at the moment.
"There, the prank song." She said looking around the benches. "Open it up and let's hear where you are." She soon heard the song start playing, but the applause from the crowd drowned it out and she slapped her forehead. She heard her phone get an incoming e-mail and looked down at it. "That wasn't very nice, you almost ruined our little game, oh and watch out for…Barrage, what?" she questioned to herself and heard the door open and Barrage came in.
"Howdy dodel." He said as he walked passed Lee and she pulled the hat down to shield the rest of her face and proceeded to try and sneak away as Holger walked onto the stage.
"Hello, Holger audition for the part of…Holger!" he chuckled and pointed at himself before doing some dance moves, or what could constitute as dance moves.
"I think we just found our choreographer, don't you agree principal Barrage?" Victoria questioned.
"I don't know what we just found, but I never want to see that again," he said pointing at Holger, "who's playing A. Nigma? And where are the special effects?" he asked slamming his fists down onto the table. "Go big, or go home. You!" he exclaimed just as Lee was almost at the door and she froze. "Gonna stand around all day like a meerkat at a rodeo, or are you gonna show us what Mr. Fancyhat's got!" he said as she turned around and was handed a script.
Lee looked down at it, then at the stage, and so didn't want to go through with this. And Mr.?
"Impress me El Hato, as if your life depends on it," Barrage said as Lee reluctantly made her way to the stage, "cause, in a way, it does."
"Um, uh, okay," Lee said awkwardly as she pulled the scarf enough away from her face for everyone to hear her clearly but no one to be able to really see her, "you can throw me in," she coughed and tried to make her voice sound more aged and boyish, "in the stockade, but vegetables will…be mine?" she questioned and saw she read the word wrong. "Um sorry, I mean vengeance," she said clenching her fist, "vengeance will be mine! And all that." She said the last part dully.
"There's just something about him, he's got that 'I don't wanna be here' haunting quality." Barrage said. "You got the part El Hato. Go and do A. Nigma proud!"
Lee frowned behind the 'mask' and heard Chaz yelling and saw him fall to his knees. "I've been robbed!" he said falling forward and was pulled off the stage by a hook.
"Excuse me, don't I get a say?" Victoria asked crossing her arms.
"Stand down VP, you may be the director, but principal always picks who plays principal." Barrage replied as Lee walked back stage.
She heard her cell go off and looked down at the new e-mail. "Ha ha, now you're stuck in the lead role and now I can tell Barrage where you are at any time I want?" she let out an irritated sound and flapped her forehead. "This is a nightmare!" she exclaimed before making her way back to detention.
Lee started texting Radcircles once she was in detention after school. "So RadC, how would you like to make it a fair fight and tell me what part you got?" she questioned and heard the door slam open, quickly stashing her phone under her desk.
"Miss Ping! While you waste your after school time at the founder's day play put on up there by proud students, like that Brandy girl, and that freakishly small friend of yours, why, even El Hato. I'll be back at 15.16 and that seat better be warm!" Barrage shouted and slammed the door shut.
Lee sighed as she got out the costume she'd stashed in the vent and put it on before making her way to the gym and once she got her script, she made her way onto the stage, adjusting her monocle as Brandy came out in a black and white outfit with a black bowler hat.
"Vinnie, tell me see, what went rotten with the whole school deal?" she asked.
"You know, I'm pretty sure I don't say anything like that in the script." Lee replied, but all it got her was a punch in the stomach and she grimaced.
"I know you had the school set up see, but you needed cash, and that's where the boys from the company came in see, and…" Brandy trailed off as she looked past Lee's monocle and narrowed her eyes. "Is that you?" she exclaimed frowning.
"Wha? Who uh." Lee said vaguely as she tried to hide behind her script. "Me? Ahaha."
"No, you!" Brandy exclaimed.
"Yes, ah, yes, it's me, Alexander Nigma, and uh yeah, the school deal thingie is uh…" Lee had nothing for this, and she knew her cover about to be blown.
"Come on, I know it's you Le-"
"-Girl!" Lee blurted out and this garnered everyone's attention. "Yes, yes, so you figured out I'm actually a girl, good for you."
"A girl! I was beat out by a girl!" Chaz shouted dramatically from somewhere off stage.
"Private, what in the Sam Heck was going through your mind when you thought you could be A. Nigma?" Barrage yelled.
Lee grimaced behind her scarf as she thought fast. "He's a…interesting historical figure, and it's not like there's any rule that I couldn't try out for the part." She said more heatedly, faking the indignation that felt somewhat real to her.
The vice principal looked to be on her side, and that was enough. "She's right, there was no rule to say that a woman couldn't try out for the role; the wedding scene at the end will just have to be altered."
Lee let out a strangled noise at the mention of a wedding scene. "Good, because I don't want to have to kiss that." She said jerking her head in Brandy's direction, who crossed her arms and scowled at her.
When the rehearsal was over, Lee went to see Brandy in the back and looked at anywhere but her. "So, you never have time to hang out with me, you BFF, but you can sneak out to be in the school play?"
"I don't even wanna be doing this! All that stuff I said on stage was because you were about to blow my cover and I only got cast by accident." Lee retorted and looked at the other girl finally.
"Well don't worry; the play's now about the adventures of Carmen Bresante, A. Nigma's totally awesome bodyguard." Brandy replied. "You'll have like maybe two lines tops. Oh and there's that photo that showed up at my party we still need to discuss."
Lee frowned. "What's there to discuss about it? Someone took it to embarrass me, that's all."
"No, that is not all." Brandy replied. "People have been starting to talk about whether or not you two are together, and I have only one thing to say to that…" she paused for dramatic effect. "Why him? Seriously, why him? You could date any guy you want."
Lee furrowed her brow as she thought about her answer, but didn't get a word in as Tina's voice rang out.
"This ends now!" she yelled as she rushed into the doorway. "A. Nigma never had a bodyguard; he had a wife name Anastasia who helped him found this school. Stick to the script!" she exclaimed holding the script up. "And hello, I know it's you." She added looking at Lee. "Aren't you supposed to be in detention?"
"Man, I thought this disguise was foolproof; no one could really see my face." Lee said frowning. "And, about the script, since I 'outted' myself as a girl, there probably is going to be a big change to my…character."
Tina let out a sigh of frustration. "Yes, thank you for that." She said sarcastically.
"Yes, thank you, now I can call your character some not boring name, like Alexa, or Alexis, or…even Lex." Brandy chuckled. "This leaves a lot of options." She said before grabbing the script. "And let's change this whole part to a shootout slash dance sequence where I out boogie the bad guys and let's make them ninjas."
"Out boogie, dance guy, ninjas, Barrage and Victoria won't allow all these changes," Tina said crossing her arms, "this school's history has integrity."
"You and I both know that Barrage will let me do whatever I want, as long as I create more opportunities for fire, explosions, and special effects. And Victoria just likes sticking it to the man."
Lee heard her phone vibrate and looked down at her cell. "Lose track of the time? Aw man!" she hissed and hurried back to the detention room, losing her costume as she tossed it back into the vent and took her seat, just as the door slammed open and Barrage saluted before detention was let out.
When she was about to leave to go back to her room after she was let out to eat dinner at home, Lee paused and cleared her throat to get her parent's attention. "Say, hypothetically, if I liked a boy and…he liked me back, would I be able to go out with him?"
Her parents looked at each other. "No." They both said at the same time.
"Wha…then what age could I date him at, hypothetically?" Lee questioned, as they had never actually given her restrictions on if she could be with him. And there was no restriction about her being able to meet with him on school 'dates' as they pretty much spent an hour or so together after school…well, most of the time.
And while she knew it was probably just a crush, it also could not be just a crush.
"You are not allowed to date until you are twenty one." Her mother said and if Lee didn't know her mom, she would have assumed she was kidding.
"I…I see." Lee murmured and way her way back upstairs.
Well this sucked, not only did she need to have a real conversation with Biff, even if he said he did like her…in that way, then they couldn't even date. Lee paused for a moment as she thought of a solution. Well, then they just wouldn't call it a date then. Her thoughts were all jumbled and she felt she needed to tell him soon.
Her thoughts went back to what Brandy said earlier about why it was Biff she liked. Lee still couldn't come up with anything as to why, but all she knew was that she liked him. Logically speaking there must be something about him that attracted her, as she'd honestly never felt this way about a guy before.
And yet 'all she knew' just wasn't good enough of an explanation.
The next day in detention her thoughts were still stuck on her personal life dilemma when Barrage slammed the door open. "Enjoy today's lunch seat warmer, I got a date with some hot explosives!" he said before shutting the door.
Lee heard her phone ring and she put it to her ear. "Hey man, you're missing rehearsal!" Cam said through the phone.
"I can't go, Radcircles is on to me, he keeps threatening to tell Barrage." Lee replied.
"But dude-!" Cam said and a ring told Lee that there was another caller.
"Hold on." She said before taking the next call.
"Ah, you better get your butt down here; I didn't sew a million ninja outfits just so you could not show up." Biff said.
"But Radcircles knows I'm-" Lee heard another beep and took the next call. "Hello?"
"Listen Ping, I don't want to play the whole Barrage card again, so you had better-!" Brandy's threat was cut off by Lee taking yet another call.
"First you BFF trashes my play, now you won't even show up!" Tina yelled and Lee had to once again take another call due to the beeping.
"Where is Lee? Help me find my clogs jah?" Holger questioned.
Lee raised a brow before answering each of them. "Okay, okay, okay, I'm coming!" she said before hitting the end button and got dressed into the costume after retrieving it from the vent.
Lee made her way onto the backstage heard Chaz from behind.
"Okay, no more Mr. Nice Guy, seriously, time for you to get off the stage and let me take back what is rightfully mine!" he exclaimed. "I was born to do this." He said before noticing that Biff was behind him and he shouted in surprise before running off.
"Heh; thanks." Lee said flushing and figured that now was a good a time as any to tell him what she felt. "Look, I've been wanting to say this for a while now, and I really like you." She said sincerely.
"Oh, I know you like me." Biff replied nonchalantly. "I thought we already went through this."
"No, I want to hear you say it." Lee said quietly as she flushed behind the scarf. She got no answer and desperately needed to change the subject. "Hey, do you think Chaz could be Radcircles? And he's playing with me cause I took his part?"
"He does seem to hate you." Biff replied as he avoided looking at Lee directly. "Send whoever it is a sound file; it'll smoke 'em out."
"Tried, failed." Lee deadpanned. "They'll never fall for it again."
"But they might fall for this, check it out." Biff said and e-mailed her something and Lee looked down at her phone as she tried to stop the sound. "It's a virus; you just send it to Radcircles and presto."
"Cool, I'll send it right now." Lee said and was about to e-mail it when Biff grabbed her hand.
"Don't be a doofus and waste it; what if they're not even here at the moment?" he asked and they both paused for a second and pulled their hands away. "You only have one chance, so wait until you're on stage; that way you can see everyone."
Lee heard her phone go off and looked down at it. "You thought I was Chaz, now I'm insulted." She said and looked around. "Wha, how did he know about Chaz?" she asked and her phone went off again. "Oh and you might wanna check the time." She read and saw Barrage heading for the door. "Barrage's gonna beat me, I'm toast!"
"Hit the vents, way faster." Biff said and Lee headed up the ladder to the rafters and dialed Cam's number.
"Go." He said from the other end.
"Barrage is at the door, I need you to run interference," Lee said pulling down the grate, "now." she said hanging up as she pulled herself into the vent. She dropped into her seat once she was over the detention room and tossed her costume to the next seat over as the door slammed open.
"Dismissed!" he said before closing the door and Lee slumped in her seat before her phone went off.
"So the big day, you probably have something up your sleeve well go ahead and bring it." She read and raised a brow. "Okay Radcircles, time to find out who you are."
When the play was starting up, Lee was adjusting her scarf as Cam let out an 'ow!' when Biff was stitching the Tatzelwurm costume head.
"Hold still!" he said before looking down at Lee. "Wait until the sunrise effect in the finale, then send the virus."
"Got it." Lee replied. "Don't forget to watch my back backstage."
"Dancers, you're on!" Lynch yelled and Lee got ready for her own upcoming scene, hoping people weren't too shocked at seeing a girl play the founder. If they realized she was a girl, as she refused to actually change her costume to something more feminine.
She walked out onto the stage at her own cue and Cam running out onto the stage as well as he flatly started hissing. "I've never seen anything like it." She said. "Will it hurt me?"
"Don't worry Lexi; Carmen Bresante's got your back." Brandy said and grabbed a hold of Lee before tossing her out to the side stage. "You go do some stuff."
Lee hit the floor and groaned and when she got back to her feet, she heard her phone go off again and looked down at it. "You're acting is so weak. Great, an evil mastermind and a critic." She said sarcastically as she saw Tina walk over to her.
"People are liking this." She said referring to the cheers. "I hate to say it, but though I can't stand her, she'd actually kinda good. Never repeat that. Ever."
"What are you doing talking to her?" Brandy questioned coming out onto the stage and wearing a white costume. "You need to get into costume for the fight scene; no way am I letting you out with this on. Come on." She said dragging her over to the costume rack and shoved an outfit into Lee's hands.
"But I already said I wasn't going to wear something girly." She protested.
"Yeah, well, you can just stand there and look pretty then." Brandy retorted and shoved her into the closet. "Now hurry up!"
Lee sighed deeply as she changed out of her trench coat, and into the blue glittery dress that hit the floor, and had a slit up to the knee on one side. She left her pants on to make herself feel more comfortable in it and pressed down on the fabric as she put her scarf back on, left the monocle alone, and kept the hat.
Lee felt oddly elegant in this and made her way out of the closet. She saw many people pause as they saw her, but Brandy just grabbed her arm and pulled her out onto the stage. She felt herself blushing when there were whistles from the audience and they stood together on the stage.
"Okay Lexi, don't look now but there are those who want to assassinate us, so get ready to ready to kick some butt!" Brandy said taking a stance and as she started to 'fight' the 'ninjas' Lee saw the sunrise started to come up and Biff gave her the signal.
Lee took out her cell and sent the virus and saw Erwin pick up his phone first. "Erwin, I knew it." She said before the rest of the student body's phones started going off. "Ed too? Huh? How'd it spread so fast?" she questioned and Brandy glared over at her.
"Did you just do that?" she questioned. "In the middle of my big scene? Is this another prank?"
"I'm sorry Carmen, the uh," Lee said awkwardly, "what's the line? Oh yeah, the war! It…needs me." She finished lamely.
"Don't Carmen me Miss Lying, Selfish, Jerk!" Brandy yelled. "All you do is lie, lie, lie!" Brandy said pushing Lee, making the scarf fall from her lower face and the monocle go flying from her face.
The crowd gasped and Lee did as well once she noticed that her face could now be seen clearly. Cam came running out and jumped on her, sending her into the floor.
"Your cover's blown, run!" Biff said before grabbing a hold of Lee's shoulder and pulled her off the floor and she went running back to the detention room, putting her shirt on over the dress top and held up the helm of the dress as she ran down the hall, pulling the dress skirt up off the floor as she got back to the detention room so it wouldn't be seen on the floor.
The door slammed open a moment later. "You missed the greatest moment in the school's history since the day was founded, and it was all thanks to my special effects. Boom, boom, boom! Dismissed." Barrage said. "Oh, and nice hat." He said closing the door.
Lee took the hat off her head let out a sigh of relief. She looked down at the skirt as she let it fall to the floor and wondered how she could make it to the bathroom and change out of the dress.
"Holger wish every time could be musical dance time." Holger said as Lee looked at her computer of him and Cam's screens.
"Man, wherever I go, the ladies love this costume bro." Cam said wearing the Tatzelwurm suit. "And you looked pretty classy in that dress yo."
Lee let out a chuckle before her mother opened the door to her room. "Lights out." She said turning off the lights and shut the door.
"Guys, I gotta go, see ya tomorrow." She said turning off her computer and heard her phone go off. "Thanks, that was a fun game of cat and mouse, let's play again soon?" she scowled as she texted the user back. "For the last time, who are you?" she asked and paused for a reply. "Nothing. What does Radcircles have against me anyway," she asked herself as she leaned on her desk, "and how will I ever know who it is?"
