Author's Note: As before, Kristoph's thoughts can be recognized by italicization.
Chapter 7 Turnabout Trump Pt. 2
"Very well," the judge said, punctuating the brief silence. "The prosecution may call its first witness to the stand!" A small, timid-looking Russian woman dressed in a hat and coat made her way slowly up to the stand. She began trembling and sunk below the witness stand.
"The witness will state her name and profession," declared Mr. Payne.
"H-hold on just a moment!" the judge stammered. "Where's the witness?"
"I surmise that she has been frightened by the defense's demonic-looking horns," chuckled Mr. Payne.
"Have no fear!" the judge exclaimed. "If any horns point in your direction, the court will cut them off."
"You…are…sure?" the witness said slowly in a thickly accented voice. I was taken aback. I had been expecting a squeak.
"I swear it on my gavel! Please, come out," the judge said, trying to reassure the witness.
"Well, if you are sure it is OK…" the witness mumbled.
"Ahem," continued the judge. "Now, the prosecution…" Just then, the witness whipped out her camera and took a photograph.
"W-W-Wait a minute!" the judge said, flustered. "Would the prosecution care to explain the witness's…erm…paraphernalia?
"Er…yes," said Mr. Payne. "She is a professional, Your Honor. Those are merely the tools of her trade."
"And that would be…?" the judge inquired.
"My name…is Olga Orly," the witness said thickly.
Oh really?
"I am employed as waitress in Borscht Bowl Club restaurant," the witness continued.
Obviously not for your English-speaking abilities.
"Then…why the camera?" the judge asked slowly.
"Of course, it is my pride to serve borscht that is naming restaurant," the witness responded, "but I also perform—how is it said? Other service."
Um…
"I take it one of these other services is taking the customer's pictures?" said the judge.
"Dah, dah," said Ms. Orly. "Like, for example…this one." As she spoke, she pulled a picture out of her coat pocket which depicted Wright next to Zak Gramarye, or for all intents and purposes, Shadi Smith.
"Th-That's the defendant!?" the judge wheezed.
"Indeed," said Mr. Payne. "On the night of the murder."
"Man in white hat…is one who has gone kaput," said the witness.
"Indeed…" the judge mused. "That is the victim." The courtroom began chattering excitedly.
The judge pounded his gavel. "Order! Order! This is quite a piece of evidence to casually drop into our laps!"
"It is same way as I drop cold bowls of borscht on laps of customers…casually," the witness explained.
"Hmm…Then the court will casually accept this new evidence," the judge replied.
"Now, witness," said Mr. Payne. "Where were you at the time of the murder?"
"I was in room," said the witness. "The Hydeout, we call it."
"Excuse me?" Justice demanded. "The Hydeout?"
"It is room where famous gangster "Badgai" was arrested. Is room where murder took place," the witness stated. Justice recoiled, an expression plastered on his face which caused him to assume the appearance of an autistic monkey.
The witness smiled and took a picture of Justice. "Your look of utter surprise…It is lovely," the witness laughed. "I will post by courtroom door later for you! Dah, dah, photos will be numbered, and you will write which ones you want copies of."
"Very well," said the judge. "Witness! You will testify to the court about that night's events." The witness began her testimony.
Testimony:
That night, customer asked me to deal cards for game.
It was cold…Both players with hats on, dah.
The victim, he plays whole time with his hand on locket at his neck. Then, last hand is done! But something terrible has happened, dah!
That man flew at victim, and is strangling him to death!
As the witness concluded her testimony, the judge said thoughtfully, "Hmm…Incidentally, who won the game?"
I saw the witness draw in breath, but Mr. Payne was too quick. "Isn't it obvious?" he chortled. "The winner was the victim…Mr. Smith!"
"Objection!" shouted Justice. "That's ridiculous! Um, because…Mr. Wright can't lose!"
He can't be serious.
"Ahem. Justice?" I said. "Maybe you can come up with a more legitimate objection?"
"But! He hadn't lost in seven years!" Justice exclaimed. I sighed exasperatedly.
"Take it from me kid," said Mr. Payne. "It happens. I didn't lose a case my first seven years as prosecutor, either.
And you haven't won a case for your last seven, either.
Incidentally. I have some evidence here. These are the poker chips as they lay the very moment of the crime. The hand and chips on this side belonged to the victim, Mr. Smith," continued Mr. Payne.
"Chips…you say?" the judge asked.
"Dah," said Mr. Payne. "Er…I mean, yes! Imagine that poker is war…Your hand is your army, and the chips are the spoils.
"I-I know that," the judge stammered. "After all, in my youth, I was known as…the "Poker Head of Courtroom No. 3"!" I turned to look at Justice. Even he was shaking his head.
"Hmm…" the judge continued. "Looking at this picture…it does seem that most of the chips are on the victim's side of the table. Very well. The defense may cross-examine the witness."
Cross-Examination
That night, customer asked me to deal cards for game.
It was cold…Both players with hats on, dah.
The victim, he plays whole time with his hand on locket at his neck.
Then, last hand is done! But something terrible has happened, dah!
That man flew at victim, and is strangling him to death!
"Objection!" cried Justice. "Oh really? "Strangled", you say. That's odd."
"Dah," said the witness noncommittally. "Normal customers only choke on borscht."
"No," replied Justice. "I mean this report shows that the victim died of a blow to the head!"
"Aaack!" the witness screeched. Justice banged his fists forcefully on the defense bench, like a primitive caveman.
"Ms. Orly!" he exclaimed. "Really now…did you witness the crime!?"
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" was all the witness had to say in response. The courtroom stirred excitedly.
"Hmm…" the judge said slowly. "Looking at the picture, it doesn't seem like he was hit. He's still wearing his hat and everything."
"Yet it is a fact that he was hit, Your Honor," replied Mr. Payne. "Here's a photo we took of the victim with his hat off during the investigation." Mr. Payne presented a photo to the court of Zak Gramarye, his large, bald, shiny head glittering ever more brightly with the crimson stream of blood running down his forehead. I suppressed a laugh as I glanced at Zak Gramarye's expression, forever frozen on his lifeless countenance.
"Well, that's quite shocking isn't it?" the judge exclaimed. "This head certainly was hit."
"B-But…! I have seen it happen!" the witness insisted. "The defendant, he lunge at victim, his neck…" Justice stood there, idiotically, looking triumphant as if the case were already won.
"Justice," I said. "I admire your enthusiasm, but perhaps you should think this one through more."
"Wh-What do you mean? I found a contradiction!" he exclaimed.
"There's one more thing in her testimony that…troubles me," I told him.
"What is it?" he whispered.
Figure it out for yourself.
"You'll see," was all I said, before turning away again.
"Very well," said the judge. "It seems we should continue the cross-examination."
Cross-Examination (cont.)
The victim, he plays whole time with hand on locket at his neck.
"Objection!" shouted Justice.
"Mr. Justice, would you care to explain what it is you're thinking so intensely about?" the judge demanded.
"Recall, the testimony, Your Honor," Justice explained. "The victim played with his "hand on locket at his neck", I believe she said?"
"I hope you aren't about to raise an objection to the witness's grammar!" squeaked Mr. Payne.
"No, but look at this photograph," Justice said commandingly. "Do you see a locket on the victim's neck?"
"Well done, Justice," I praised, with genuine sincerity. "I'm impressed. I knew you'd be able to handle this."
No I didn't.
"B-but what does it mean?" asked Justice. Just then, the judge continued to speak.
"If we are to believe the witness's testimony as-is…Then the locket "disappeared" following the victim's death.
"Lockets don't just "disappear", Your Honor!" Justice responded.
"It's quite simple when you think about it," I said to Justice. "If the locket is gone, someone must have taken it off, no?"
"Taken it off…?" said Justice slowly, the wheels spinning frantically in his mostly empty head. "Wait, you don't mean…!"
"The defendant wasn't strangling the victim at all. He was taking off his locket!" I responded, with a touch of impatience in my voice.
"Aah!" exclaimed the judge.
"Urk?" Mr. Payne murmured. Wright stared at the pair of them. It was the judge who finally shattered the painful silence.
"Say," he said.
"Yes?" asked Wright.
"I just noticed this, but…You have something hanging around your neck, don't you?"
"Oh? You mean this?" said Wright, gesturing towards the locket hanging around his neck. "Yes, it's a locket…with a photograph inside. A photo…of my daughter."
The fact that Wright had mated greatly disturbed me.
"C-Come again?" said Justice.
"Mr. Wright!" the judge exclaimed. "You have a daughter!?"
"We confirmed it at the time of the arrest," said Mr. Payne. "The picture in the locket is indeed Mr. Wright's daughter.
"Well now," the judge said awkwardly. "If the results of this poker game led to the murder…Perhaps we should hear a bit more about the outcome of this game?"
"Further testimony won't really be necessary," Mr. Payne declared confidently. "It's clear that the defendant lost. Badly. The witness beamed at Mr. Payne.
The judge shook his head in dissent. "Ms. Orly! You will testify to the court about the game played between the victim and the defendant!" "D-Dah…" the witness mumbled.
Testimony
The game began with 3,500 points in chips for each man.
House chips come in two size: small and large.
The one who was winning…dah, it was victim!
For last hand, defendant play with all chips on table and lose.
The moment loss was decided, defendant grabs bottle from table and…
"Indeed…" the judge said after listening to the witness's testimony. "Looking at this picture…It does seem to be a one-sided game."
"As the court knows, poker was the defendant's life!" shouted Mr. Payne. "Failure must have been a bitter pill to swallow!"
The judge nodded. "Ah, how many times I have heard these words: 'I done it in a fit of anger, Yer Honor, and now I regret what I done'…a common tale, but true. The defense may now begin the cross-examination."
Cross Examination
The game began with 3,500 points in chips for each man.
House chips come in two size: small and large.
"Hold it!" Justice interrupted. "Are the chips in this photo all the chips that were used?
"Da…Dah! Of course!" squealed the witness.
"Maybe you could explain a bit about these "chips"?" Justice asked.
"E-Explain?" the witness scoffed quietly. "What is there to be explained?"
Mr. Payne was of the same opinion. "Objection!" he yelled. "Poker chips are poker chips. They're not fish and chips, not a chip off the block, not a motorcycle cop, not a…"
"Thanks…" Justice interrupted. "I think we get it now. But what are these chips worth? Are they in dollars? Or rubles, even?"
"Nyet," replied the witness. "As I have been saying before, it was game, not gambling. Hard perhaps for capitalist to understand. Two types of chip: 100 points chip and 1,000 points chip. It is not money, dah." Justice just stood there, staring blankly.
"Justice," I said.
"Sir!" he exclaimed.
"Don't you find her comment…interesting?" I demanded.
"In more ways than one, sir," he replied.
"I'd have it added to her testimony, myself," I advised.
"Well?" asked the judge. "Does the defense want the witness to add to her testimony?"
"Yes, I do think this deserves further scrutiny," Justice answered, as if it had been his intention. "Add it to the testimony!"
"Very well," agreed the judge. "Witness, if you would be so kind."
"D-Dah, Your Honor," the witness whimpered.
One kind of chip is worth 100 points, other kind is worth 1,000. Two kinds in all.
"Objection!" Justice shouted. "You're sure it was the victim who won? Absolutely sure?"
"Objection!" Mr. Payne rebutted. "It seems our new attorney is a bit confused…A glance at the picture is enough to tell you who won! If you're not in kindergarten."
"Um…" the judge mumbled. "Just for safety's sake, could you please explain the problem to the court?"
"Of course, Your Honor," replied Justice. "In this photo, I see small chips and I see large chips. Tell me…which were worth 1,000 points?"
"Why, the big ones of course! Duh!" scoffed Mr. Payne.
"Oh, I thought so too…" smirked Justice, "but then the totals don't add up." "Th-The totals…?" Mr. Payne stammered.
"Let's review what the witness told us, shall we?" Justice asked rhetorically. "Each man started with 3,500 points in chips. And the combined total value of the chips was 7,000 points."
"Yes…if my calculations are correct! Let's see, three plus one, carry the five…" the judge murmured.
"Um, they are, Your Honor," Justice interjected. "Now! Look at this photo that allegedly shows all the chips. If the big chips are worth 1,000 points, and the small chips are worth 100…And you add them up…"
"How much is it?" Mr. Payne demanded.
"Ten thousand six hundred points," Justice answered. "The chips don't add up!" He banged his fists hard on the defense bench. "This clearly contradicts the witness's testimony!" The courtroom buzzed anxiously, like a swarm of confused hornets.
"B-But why!?" shouted Mr. Payne. "How could this be!?"
"Exactly…" I said to Justice. I was slightly impressed that he had made this observation on his own.
"Justice. Now that you know the "what", you must determine the "why"." "Each man began the game with 3,500 points," continued Justice. "If all the chips are indeed shown in this photograph…Then there can only be one answer."
"Well, what is it!?" the judge said impatiently. "The value of the chips…was the other way around!" Justice shouted.
"Wh-What!?" squealed Mr. Payne.
"Want to know what I think?" Justice asked, once again, rhetorically. "The small chips were worth 1,000 points, not the big ones!"
Exactly. Six small chips and ten big chips. I couldn't see why everyone else was so slow on the uptake.
"Madness! Utter madness!" Mr. Payne shouted wildly.
"Show me that photograph of the chips again!" the judge demanded. "There are six small chips and ten large chips…Why that does make 7,000 points when you add them up!"
Got there at last, have we?
"Excellent work, Justice," I said. "It's almost as though you figured it out by yourself."
Whether Justice caught the jibe or not, he replied nervously, "Well…I'm just glad I was the one who said it."
"Objection!" squeaked Mr. Payne. "B-But wait! The value of the chips may be different, but that changes nothing!!"
"Indeed…" the judge said blindly. "The victim did have the larger number of chips still…Ah!"
"Exactly," smirked Justice. "If the small chips are 1,000 points and the big chips are 100…Let's do a little math. Add up the points for each side of the table.
"Ah… Auuuuuuuuuuuuugh!" Mr. Payne bellowed.
"The victim, Mr. Smith had 2,900 points and the defendant had…4,100 points!" the judge exclaimed. "Well now…It seems that Mr. Wright was winning that night after all!" Justice declared.
"That's…impossible," Mr. Payne said cluelessly.
"My client had even less reason to kill the victim!" Justice asserted. "After all…he was winning!"
"Yeeeaaaargh!" Mr. Payne cried animatedly.
"Now…Ms. Orly," said Justice, turning his attention back to the witness. "You must have known the true value of the chips. Since you were there at the scene of the crime…weren't you?"
"Ah… Eeeeeeeeeek!" the witness screamed.
"Order! Order!!" the judge demanded, slamming his gavel. "It appears our defendant has lost his "motive". And Mr. Wright's supposed defeat…never happened." The witness groaned softly.
Justice said, "We must now ask ourselves whether we can trust the witness's testimony at the time of—"
"HOLD IT!" the witness yelled, in an unusually commanding voice.
"E-Excuse me?" Justice said disbelievingly. "What is it, Ms. Orly?"
"I…I did not want to be saying this," the witness said, her bravado vanishing on the spot, "but…Actually, you see, erm…"
Get to the point.
"See what, Ms. Orly!? What do we see!?" Mr. Payne demanded, with desperation in his voice.
"In the last hand, there was cheat!" the witness declared. The courtroom stirred once again, even more confused than before.
"A ch-cheat?" asked Mr. Payne. "You…You don't mean…a trick!?"
"Wait, or do you mean…a scam!?" the judge demanded.
They're the same thing!
"Yes," the witness replied. "There was cheat in last hand…That is why game ends with chips as they are!"
"Well," I said to no one in particular, "this case certainly has taken a turn…for the interesting!"
"Witness!" the judge boomed. "You will testify to the court! Tell us about this cheating in the final hand!"
