Loss and Hope
Chapter Seven: He Isn't Always Wrong
Well, we all fall in love
But we disregard the danger
Though we share so many secrets
There are some we never tell
Why were you so surprised
That you never saw the stranger
Did you ever let your lover see
The stranger in yourself?
- Billy Joel, The Stranger (chapter title also from song)
TA 2940
"Should you have not returned to your home by now?" Morwen asked the intruder in her office.
"I just find it so pleasant here and I am not yet needed at home." Haldir propped himself on Morwen's desk, "Furthermore, if I left I could not spend each new day staring at your waxen face."
Morwen refused to rise to the bait as she ignored him and attempted to proceed with the day's work.
Haldir continued, "I have only been here for a mere year, you must agree that is not long enough to enjoy all the pleasures of this realm."
Morwen cleared her throat as she moved to her next stack of work. "From what I have heard, you have greatly enjoyed the pleasures of this realm."
Haldir smiled as he sat back, "There are quite a few lovely little things to delight in here."
"Things? Oh, how kind you are." Morwen stated with an icy tone.
"From how they all described your lovely person, I must say, I did not think they were friends of yours." Haldir said.
"While I may refuse to subject myself to the poison of those elves' words and advances, that does not mean I think it right for you to toy with them." Morwen said.
"Yet you show no concern for them toying with me." Haldir said.
Morwen finally glanced up at him, "Oh, Haldir, do you need a protector? Has that stone known as your heart been broken?"
"A crystal tear may have fallen from my eye when I was pushed out of that last bed." Haldir sneered.
"Oh, did you twist your ankle? Bruise your wrist?" Morwen asked.
"You could attempt to be sympathetic." Haldir said with a put upon air.
"Like you were so sympathetic to me when you dropped me into the water." Morwen said.
"You were young and wriggling I did not intend to do such a thing." Haldir again tried to defend his action from all those years ago.
"Ah, but you did it anyway. And then you laughed." Morwen said.
Haldir smiled, "Elves are joyful beings, we laugh. Even if it is at the expense of others."
"This elf finds it degrading." Morwen stated as she dropped her gaze to her work.
"This elf," Haldir said as he gestured to himself, "finds that elf far too sensitive."
"This elf feels that that elf," Morwen said as she pointed an ink stained quill in Haldir's direction, "is far too self-centered and arrogant."
Haldir, standing up so as to avoid the fearful ink stains gave Morwen a glare, "This elf.." he started.
"This elf feels you both need to quiet yourselves before all the other elves drown you both in the Bruinen." A clearly agitated Elrohir said from the other side of Morwen's desk where he had been attempting to sketch out a landscape.
Haldir pouted as he batted his lashes at Morwen, "Someone is touchy." he said as he gestured to Elrohir.
Morwen felt a smile spread across her face, despite her best attempts to hold it back. She shook her head refusing to answer as she concentrated on one of the letters.
Elrohir looked at Haldir, "While you may enjoy your respite here, some of us would like to ride out."
"You could ride out if you wanted to." Haldir said.
"I would not defy Glorfindel." Elrohir told him.
"You hold a higher rank than him." Haldir felt the need to say.
"As a member of the court, not as a solider of the realm." Elrohir answered as he began to sketch the outline of Estel's face, his eyes resting on the young male in the gardens with his mother. It was amazing to see the growth in Estel through the past year, hard to believe such a thing. It was just another testament to the difference between the growth of elves and the growth of humans.
"Ah, Glorfindel." Haldir remarked as he began to walk around the office, his fingers gliding over the desks of Rian and even Eluialeth, something few would ever attempt to do. Elrohir and Morwen watched with bated breath, waiting to see if Eluialeth had set some trap on her desk to attack any intruders. Both were slightly upset when no such thing happened.
"Do you not have any other elves to irritate?" Morwen asked.
"Of course I do." Haldir answered. "You are merely my favorite elf to irritate."
Elrohir snorted, trying to cover his mirth with his well-placed arm. He ducked his head as he felt Morwen's dark eyes settle on him. Elrohir stood up, "I believe I will go to the gardens, the sunlight is beautiful today."
"Please, take Haldir with you." Erestor remarked from the doorway, drawing the attention of the three other elves.
Elrohir nodded giving Haldir a look that plainly told him he would follow without protest.
Erestor watched them go, silently appraising them.
As the door to the office closed Erestor sat down in front of Morwen's desk.
"The replacement councilor that was sent to the south is returning and, apparently, resigning from his post." Erestor told her, not even bothering with idle talk.
"What happened?" Morwen asked, her voice as tired as the look in her eyes.
"He was physically assaulted by some drunken males who disagreed with his advice. He apparently had little authority among them." Erestor said.
"He is one of the senior councilors." Morwen said in disbelief.
"He was one of the senior councilors." Erestor told her. His dark eyes settled on Morwen's face, "Now a seat has been opened."
Morwen looked down, "Are you insinuating…."
"It would be a contingent acceptance, to take the seat you must ride out. To not take the seat, you may still have to ride out." Erestor said.
Morwen sat back in her chair and raised her eyes to meet those of her mentor, "Open seats are not common, if it is given to me it will be viewed as favoritism and we could all be accused of nepotism."
"I would be giving you nothing, you have earned the seat." Erestor sighed, "And to be honest, with this first member stepping down and possibly sailing west, I am sure more will follow. They may accuse us all they want, I need a trusted council member down there who I know can command a room and who has a reputation among those people for being demanding and resourceful. You would, of course, be sent with a significant guard."
"No." Morwen said. "If I ride there with a large guard I will be viewed as even more of a threat. Four guards at most, skilled ones. One should be disguised as my assistant."
"You sound like you are taking this position." Erestor said with a dark smile.
"You have already made the decision for me, your presence here is merely a necessary, yet pointless, act." Morwen answered, having seen through Erestor's indifferent look as Chief Councilor.
"It is tradition and habit and law. You have to be informed before we ship you off." Erestor smiled, his face showing both pride and concern, "Your spot as a junior councilor will be free, do you have a suggestion?"
Morwen smiled, "Oh, I do. But we will definitely be accused of nepotism then."
"Do you think Eluialeth is truly ready?" Erestor asked.
"More so than any other, she has been waiting for this." Morwen said.
Erestor nodded, "Would you like me to inform Glorfindel?"
Morwen shook her head as she placed her quill in its holder and secured the top of the ink well. "No, I will do it. There are things I need to say to him that concern the whole matter. It will be better if he hears it from me first."
Erestor nodded. He stayed silent as he watched Morwen put away her work, "Morwen, you can do this." Erestor said.
Morwen smiled, "I know I can, I've overseen councils between bickering elven realms and have survived this past year of Haldir's company. I know I can do this, Erestor, I just know it will be far from easy."
"It rarely is." Erestor agreed as he guided Morwen out of the room. "I will not keep you there long, a year at most. If they have not reached a decision or an agreement by that time, we will pull back our aid. For too long they have been wasting our time with their own indecision and suspicion. We do have more important things to attend to."
"Have you received news from Mithrandir?" she asked.
Erestor smiled, "Oh, we have indeed. Quite a merry plan our favorite wizard is making, and disrupting as many lives as he can while he does it. Elrond is already preparing."
"Will you not tell me?"
Erestor placed a friendly arm around Morwen's shoulders, "Trust me, when it will happen, you will know."
Fearing said action, Morwen simply laughed and tried not to think about the often confusing affairs of wizards.
Glorfindel forced Tirnion back into his seat, "Stay still." he ordered.
Tirnion gave him a glare, "My people need me."
"Your people need their seneschal calm and cool headed." Glorfindel told him.
"They have spiders on one side, a dragon on the other, threats of war from dwarven colonies, orcs making off with the life of our cattle and…."
"You are beginning to hyperventilate." Glorfindel told him, pressing a glass into his hands. "You will do none of us any good if you put yourself into a state of worry."
"Imagine if it was Imladris." Tirnion said.
"Imagine if it was a dark lord, and Balrogs, and fire and steam and a trapped city." Glorfindel told him.
Tirnion ducked his head, "I am sorry, Glorfindel. My comment was inappropriate and insensitive."
Glorfindel patted his shoulder, "You are one of the few who say such things and mean them. You are forgiven. It is quite common to view one's own situation as the worst imaginable." Glorfindel walked to his desk, "Sadly, among elves of old it is rare you will win such an argument."
"It is not a competition or argument I have any great desire to win." Tirnion said. He put the glass on Glorfindel's desk and sat back, almost feeling like an elfling. "I do not know what to do." Tirnion admitted.
Glorfindel smiled, "A truly wise elf you are to admit such a thing."
Tirnion smiled, "Indeed."
"Even if you rode back, it is likely Thranduil will send you out to negotiate in some other realm." Glorfindel told him.
Tirnion nodded, "I know, he has done such before. I would just feel more….."
"Proactive?"
"Useful." Tirnion answered.
"If you want to ride back, I can do nothing to stop you. I would, however, beg you to stay with us for another month at the least, give us time to adjust to your loss." Glorfindel said.
"My loss?" Tirnion asked.
"Tirnion, whether or not you have realized it, you have become essential in the running of Imladris. You mean a great deal to us." Glorfindel said with a warm smile.
Tirnion tried to hide his own smile but was unsuccessful, "Thank you for your kind words, Glorfindel."
"I merely speak the truth." Glorfindel regarded Tirnion for a moment. "Tirnion, why have you not…" Glorfindel was cut short by a knock at the door. Seeing Tirnion's nod, Glorfindel called out, "Enter."
Morwen carefully peered around the door, "I was wondering if I could merely talk to you for a moment. If you and Tirnion are in a deep discussion, I can come back later, it can wait."
Glorfindel and Tirnion both studied Morwen. Glorfindel wondered if the silver-haired elf saw what he saw, the tension in Morwen's body, the tired and resigned look in her eyes, and the indescribable hint of some darker, deeper emotion.
"No, it cannot wait." Tirnion said as he stood. He gave another nod to Glorfindel and made his way out of the room, pressing a comforting hand on Morwen's shoulder.
Glorfindel stood up, walking over to Morwen's side as Tirnion closed the door.
"Erestor told you about the open position." he said.
"He led me to believe you did not know." Morwen said.
"I did not know your stand on the matter." Glorfindel said.
Morwen shook her head, "Why do you all even bother to let us think we have control over such things?"
"To keep you all from rioting." Glorfindel said with amusement.
Morwen sat down in the chair so recently occupied by Tirnion, "I feel as if I do not deserve such a…" her words were stopped as she suddenly found Glorfindel's hand over her mouth.
"Do not finish that statement." Glorfindel ordered. "You have held such a position for over a thousand years."
Morwen tired to speak but was still halted by the hand.
"It is time for you to go forth with your ambition." Glorfindel said as removed his hand, crouching down next to Morwen. "You have never been so modest about your abilities as a councilor. What is the true problem?"
Morwen looked into Glorfindel's eyes, finding the trust and the comfort there. "I am afraid of traveling to the south. The threats may or may not have started to get to my nerves."
Glorfindel shook his head, "You should not let such things get to you, you have not in the past."
Morwen sighed, "Well, attacks can change a person."
"You were never attacked in the south." Glorfindel said.
Morwen stared at him, "Should you not be comforting me?"
Glorfindel laughed, "I am, by making you all indignant."
She narrowed her eyes, "I forbid you from spending any more time than necessary with Haldir."
Glorfindel laughed, pulling Morwen from the chair. "Most in your position would be celebrating."
"Most do not realize the true responsibility of the position." Morwen argued.
"You are far too…"
"Do not say it."
"..cynical." Glorfindel said. He pulled Morwen to the door, "You need a moment of respite, a moment of freedom, a moment of…"
"Not hearing you telling me a need a moment of something?"
Glorfindel laughed, "Go, find Eluialeth. Take the rest of the day."
"You do realize that is more of a punishment for me than a reward." Morwen said.
"I promise to bring you stacks upon stacks of work later tonight." Glorfindel assured her.
"Oh, you do know the way to my heart." Morwen said.
Glorfindel placed a soft kiss to her lips, "Indeed."
"I have always known I am not an elf, that I am of human blood. But today," Estel ducked his head as he sneezed again, "today I realize just how not an elf I truly am."
"Yes, well, the twins should have known better than to take you riding during a rain storm, even if it was to teach you how to ride in foul weather." Elrond said. He carried the young boy to the bed in the healing halls. Gilraen had sent the boy out yesterday with the twins after Elrohir had found them in the gardens not realizing the sunny day would soon turn dark. The twins had known better, both able to smell the soon to be falling rain.
"One rainstorm should not do this." Gilraen said, having carried her son to Elrond's office after he had nearly fell on the stairs.
"One rainstorm did not do this." Elrond said. "Though it certainly did not help." Elrond placed Estel on the bed before heading to one of the tables in the room, quickly mixing up a concoction and pouring it into a glass. He reached for the container of honey, knowing it often made it easier to swallow for both young and old. He smiled at Estel, "Drink this."
Estel took a sniff, "Honey, peppermint leaves and…."
"Elder flowers." Elrond answered at his smiled at his pupil. "It will help with the fever."
"What fever?" Estel asked.
Elrond smiled, "Drink."
Estel did so, under the watchful gazes of his mother and Elrond.
Elrond smiled at Gilraen, "He will be fine, out of it for a few days at least, but he will be fine."
Gilraen nodded, "I know, he just has never had a cold."
"One of the benefits of living among elves." Elrond said. He patted Gilraen's hand, "I will check on him in an hour."
Gilraen nodded as she ran a hand through Estel's hair, "I will be here. Please, tell the twins to hold back and let him rest for a few hours."
Elrond nodded as he stood up and left the room. He glanced back once before he left, struck by the sight of the dark haired mother looking over her young son. For a moment he wondered if his own mother had done such a thing, though he could not remember nor did he know of any who could tell him if she had He felt a sad smile come across his face before muttering a healing prayer and closing the door.
Glorfindel had discussed with many of his favored warriors who would be willing to lead Morwen's escort to the south. It was an important task and would be one that would require their utmost attention. Three had eagerly taken the chance and the fourth would only be an escort for part of the journey.
He walked to Morwen's office, where baskets and trunks were strewn across the room as they prepared for her move into the new office. Rian was out for a walk with Elladan, both finding something appealing about walking in the gardens after a rain. Eluialeth barely glanced at him as he entered, much too concerned with her own work. He stood behind Morwen as she wrote a letter to Galdor.
"Yes?" she asked, finally acknowledging his presence.
Glorfindel smiled as he watched her continue to write, her hair, so hastily pulled away from her neck and tied up, swaying with her movements.
"I have some news you might desire to hear." Glorfindel said.
"Hmm?" Morwen asked, clearly more concerned with her letter than his words.
Sighing, Glorfindel leaned forward, feeling his chest press against her back. He softly laughed as he felt her jump in surprise.
"Do you two require a private moment?" Eluialeth asked, giving them a knowing look.
Glorfindel shook his head as he covered Morwen's hands with his own, stopping her writing. "We are fine, Eluialeth. Morwen, I have set your escort for the journey south." he said.
"Oh dear, are you feeling generous or not in regards to me?" Morwen asked.
Glorfindel raised a brow, "Why would you ask such a thing?"
"If you are not, Haldir will be in my escort." Morwen answered.
Glorfindel tired not to laugh, "Haldir is not in your escort. Baineth is, as is Elrohir…"
"You are letting him out?" Eluialeth asked.
"It is time." Glorfindel agreed. "Thandrog will also be joining you."
"He has much hatred for going south." Morwen said.
"He volunteered for the duty." Glorfindel said. "While I suspect his motives slightly, Thandrog has often guarded you and knows your own mannerisms well which will help if you are in distress and not able to verbally alert him."
"Yes, and one of the last times Thandrog guarded her, she received a.." Eluialeth started.
Glorfindel narrowed his eyes at the youngest child of Erestor, "Eluialeth, I believe your father needs your assistance."
"I though you two did not desire a moment alone." Eluialeth remarked as she left, laughing to herself at the dark looks of both Morwen and Glorfindel.
"Tirnion will also be in my escort." Morwen stated.
"Yes, he is needed at home. Thranduil has requested a way for him to travel without appearing he is headed to Mirkwood, your escort provides a likely cover." Glorfindel said.
Morwen nodded, "Thank you, Glorfindel. You picked an escort full of those I can trust."
"And those who can comfort you." Glorfindel kissed the top of her head, "Elrohir will be there to protect you and listen to your fears, do not turn away from his assistance and his care. You ride in a fortnight."
Morwen turned her head to look at him, "So soon?" she asked.
"I fear Erestor would have had you riding out today if it was not for my own request to give you some more time." Glorfindel answered.
"There was once a time when I fought you to let me out of this realm and now I do not want to leave."
"This is not like visiting the Havens or Mirkwood, this is something entirely different." Glorfindel said.
Morwen nodded, "I thank you. While I hate to have you leave, I must finish this. Galdor has many concerns and I would like to send my response to him as soon as I am able."
Glorfindel smiled, "I do understand." Placing a deep kiss on Morwen's upturned lips and then pulling back to place another on the exposed nape of her neck he whispered, "Come see me tonight."
Morwen nodded, a secretive smile on her face before proceeding with her letter.
Estel turned a tired eye to the window, "Do they ever stop singing?"
Gilraen laughed, "They tend not to do such things near our chambers but it would appear that they feel the need to spend all night in song."
The elves had been singing for hours and while their voices were soothing and their songs merry it did have the odd tendency of grating on a young boy's nerves when he was trying to rest and yet trying to hear the songs to learn of what they said.
"I am sure we can ask Elrond to have them moved." Gilraen told her son, her hand resting on his still warm forehead.
Estel weakly shook his head, "Let them sing. It is soothing for the others and they have not sung so much in a very long time."
"They also sing for you." Elladan said from the doorway, his twin walking behind him.
"Really?" Estel asked, his normally advanced vocabulary reduced to simple words in his weak state.
"Yes, they wish to make you feel better." Elladan said as Elrohir came to the bedside, quickly checking Estel's health.
"How does your head feel?" Elrohir asked with a soothing voice.
"Full." Estel answered. "More full than it has ever felt after a lecture from Erestor on the history of the First Age."
Elladan laughed, "Then that is one very full head."
Elrohir nodded, "We apologize again for dragging you out in such weather, if we had known you were so close to falling ill.."
"I had fun." Estel said. "And I learned about how a horse can react during a storm and how to prevent injury to myself and the horse."
Gilraen nodded, "He has told me all he has learned. I think a head cold and some bed rest is a worthy price to pay for such knowledge." Gilraen smiled at the twins, "It also give me a fine reason for being away from the ladies of the court, so perhaps I should thank you."
Elladan snickered as Elrohir ducked his head to hide his own amusement. Elladan was going to pass his own comment on the ladies of the court when he fell silent. He gestured in the direction of Estel.
All three of the adults smiled at the sight of the sleeping boy, finally lulled to the land of dreams by the words of the elvish songs.
It was mere days before Morwen's journey. Estel had finally found himself well enough to be out of bed, though handing him training weapons was another issue entirely. Erestor was going slightly mad as he prepared all the documents Morwen was to taken on her journey, the ranks of soldiers were all atwitter with the news of who was traveling and for what reason and Elladan and Rian had found themselves on the annoyed side of many people's nerves as their doe-eyed staring at each other had caused them to run into many an elf, human, and tree. Morwen and Elrohir, being intelligent elves, had decided to escape the madness.
"I have no desire to head south." Morwen confessed.
"That does, indeed, make two of us. Though, it will get me out of the realm." Elrohir said.
"You have been back a year, at most." Morwen told him.
"And I have not been let out on patrol for fear of my distraction." Elrohir sighed as he started juggling apples in his boredom. "Why are we both out here?" Elrohir asked as he looked over the orchard.
"We both needed to escape." Morwen answered.
"Elladan and Rian also driving you mad?" Elrohir asked.
"And Haldir and oddly, Tirnion." Morwen said.
Elrohir nodded in agreement, "He is getting oddly paranoid."
"It is rare when his family actually writes to him with concerns over the future of the realm." Morwen said.
"He is leaving, soon." Elrohir said as he missed one of the apples, finding himself ducking as it came down upon his face. "Poor Eluialeth." he said.
"Poor unaware Eluialeth who has no idea how much she will miss him." Morwen said.
"Poor Estel." Elrohir continued.
"Poor Estel who does not know his archery teacher will soon be leaving until…."
Elrohir nodded, "Until. I guess we will all have to band together and teach him. And by we I mean, everyone but you."
"I can teach him diplomacy, well, a level of diplomacy less biting than that which Erestor will teach him. If he is to live as Elrond has predicted, he needs to know how to rule a room while appearing as you are the one ruled." Morwen said, ignoring Elrohir's jab at her archery skills, or lack thereof.
"We should not be hiding here." Elrohir said.
Morwen shrugged, "There is madness all throughout that house. We, as the only sane members, are required to stay out here and be our only little island of sanity."
Elrohir chomped down on one of the apples, "At least we have food."
"And paper and ink." Morwen said as she gestured to the items.
"And shade." Elrohir said as he placed a thankful hand on the tree they were leaning against.
"Who knows how long it will be before we can do such a thing again, we earned this." Morwen said.
Elrohir was too content to argue and simply nodded in agreement.
Celebrian caressed the leather cover of the most recent account of the year. She sat in her library, letting herself be bathed in the warm sunlight. This was the library, the first room of the new home she was having built, the first room to be completed. It seemed the most important thing of all.
Her eyes strayed to the detailed plans Glorfindel had squirreled away in one of the books, plans for his own home and the furniture to be created and placed within.
A smile came to her face at the very detailed instructions for the desks, two to be exact, replicas of Glorfindel's desk in the his barrack's office.
She could not wait until they saw them all again.
As the soft voice of Laeriel inquired where she was, Celebrian gave one last caress to the book cover before turning from the room and going in search of her friend.
The End.
A/N 1: Again, sorry for the delay, there was just grad work and work work stuff to do. Also, end of story, not of series. I cannot say when the next story will be up, because I will be going home next week (Thanksgiving Time, USA) and will be flying up and down the eastern seaboard and will be bombarded with family. The laptop is coming with me though, so there might be an update. As for the whole "why I used Billy Joel lyrics," well, another part of my life story (which I know may seem slightly insanely tragic (which it is not) but is true) is my father dying when I was young. He was a huge Billy Joel fan, raised us on the music and I have always found the songs (esp "Only the Good Die Young" and "Billy the Kid" (dad's name was Billy)) to bring a smile to my face. So, this is my little, tiny, sort of tribute to him. And next Once I Was story is up on the lj and is one of the accounts of the Snow and Ice Incident of TA 145.
A/N 2: Thanks:
Sielge, Glad to know you enjoyed the interactions. They are what I tend to do a lot of! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well and thank you for your kind words about my sister, but hey, it's been nearly twenty-three years and we are still doing well!
Nima, thank you for the review! As I try to make the elves "real" I can only guess that some of them are really not cool with other beings (see dwarves for example) and I think that has to be acknowledged and shown, especially since I believe no one is flawless, elves included. It is, sadly, the way of the world and some let their fear of the unknown turn to horrible hatred. Morwen's whole thing will be dealt with more in the next story, though said story does have a large Mirkwood focus on it.
Renna, thank you! Haldir and Morwen have a very special relationship, they just love to snark at each other. I don't like to use Haldir too much, but when I do use him I like him to be memorable. And hell, I'm sticking with Tolkien on this one, Haldir will see the Fourth Age. Glorfindel and romance, there will be more of that in the future, since I will not lie, I enjoy writing him in such a state. Personally, it amuses me greatly that things do not come so easy for him in regards to Morwen. Just wait until Morwen and Ecthelion meet ::evil cackle:: Poor Glorfindel.
As for my sister, well, it's a severe case of cerebral palsy. She is both mentally and physically handicapped, confined to a wheel chair, quadriplegic, can't speak or write, but can communicate with sounds and by using her hands and feet to point to things. It sounds tragic and sad, but really, she is a very happy person, always smiling (and do not get me started on her Justin Timberlake love, I'm almost ashamed of it). After nearly twenty-three years, we all have it down to a science. As for my thesis, I do not speak Italian yet (I spent ten years studying Latin) but it is on my list of things I must do before I get my Masters. With Pre-Fascism I am, personally, fascinated with the different regions of southern and northern Italy and their struggles to relate to each other, it has an anthropological skew, and I am sure I will also tie it into Southern Italian immigration into the United States in the 1800s, but we shall see. I was originally going to do Ancient Rome (Early Empire, think Ovid, who is my Latin Love) but I just got kind of burned out on the topic. As I said with the Ancient Greeks, I love Socrates through Plato, and I do love Plato's Allegory of the Cave but me and Aristotle, yeah, it was like me and Immanuel Kant, not so good. Again, seriously, I admire you for being able to grasp it and understand it, and I would say like it, but people wonder why I like translating Cicero and Ovid, so yeah.
