Hold Me until Forever
Chapter Seven: Edward vs. Love
"Bella…" I said softly as Bella laid delicately across my chest. "I've been thinking about it… and I don't think I should be here when Edward gets here today." She lifted herself from me as a look of concern crossed her face. "I know I said I would be here, but, Bella, if he were to say something that upset me, I know I… I just know I wouldn't be able to contain myself, and I can't let myself hurt you Bella."
She licked her lips softly. "Will you… will you at least stay in the house? You Don't have to be with me, but I just want you close Jacob."
"The closest I want to be is the woods." I told her. "They aren't far, and I'll still be able to hear if anything goes wrong and I'll be able to get to you." I said softly as I ran my fingers over her hair. "I love you Bella, I would never let anything happen to you. I promise."
As I leaned down to kiss her she laced her fingers through my hair and whispered my name softly, sending familiar and comforting chills up my spine. I kissed her lips, her cheeks, her nose, her chin, her neck, her collar bones, her ears, her forehead, and her lips again. Her skin was soft and smooth and she was so beautiful, and I just couldn't get enough of it. I couldn't get enough of her.
I ran my lips and tongue along the surface of her neck as she moaned softly, pulling tighter on my hair and causing my eyes to squeeze shut and my muscles to flex from anticipated passion. I slid my hands down her sides and slowly began to pulled her pale violet shirt up her stomach and over her head and arms.
I pulled myself on top of her as I reached down to my waist to pull off my snug black T; she ran her hands slowly along the surface of my skin as she leaned up and began kissing my chest tenderly. I sighed and closed my eyes and delighted in the feeling as her lips continued caressing along my skin.
"I want you forever Jacob." She whispered softly before bringing her lips up to mine and kissing me deeply as I leaned my body down softly against hers.
"I'm always yours Bella." I whispered back to her as our lips parted. "I always have been yours, and I always will be." I promised her before leaning down to press my lips gently against her forehead.
"I wish I could say the same." She said sadly.
"You can." I told her as I pressed my hand against the edge of her left breast, just above her heart. "Because each time I look into your eyes all I see is you. All I see is your love." I told her truthfully. "And that is all I have ever seen in your eyes. Before you moved to Forks, when you were together with Edward, when he left, and when you came back to me. And I see it every time you tell me you love me, I see it every time you open your eyes, and every time you look at me." I finished as I leaned my head down to her breast and pressed my lips against her heart softly, and kissed her tenderly three times. "I love you Isabella Swan, and I always will. I don't care if you were with someone else before, because you are with me now, and I know deep down, in my soul, in my heart, that you have always been mine. No one else's. You are my one and only true love."
She looked up at me with moist eyes as a small smile spread across her lips. "I love you Jacob." She told me softly with a voice that told me she was fighting off tears. "I love you so much."
I reached down and laced my fingers through hers and kissed her hand softly before whispering back to her: I love you too Bella, I love you too.
The three unsettling knocks that sounded from downstairs made Bella's face loose color as she wrapped her arms firmly around me. "Are you sure you have to go?" She asked. "Can't you just stay in Charlie's room or something?"
"No, Bella." I told her with sympathy. "I can't risk hurting you. I am still new at this, and I can't always control myself when I'm in wolf form." I said softly. "I love you, and you have got to trust me."
"I do." She said. "It just… it hurts… to be away from you."
I let out a soft and understanding sigh. "I know baby, it hurts me too. But it's just until he leaves, then you'll be back safe in my arms." I told her.
"Okay." She said with a small frown as we parted.
"I'll see you soon." I promised her before kissing her hand and walking with her to the front door.
"Hello." Edward said in his usual polite way as I reluctantly opened the door for him.
"Hi." Bella said back with a half smile as I slid my hands into my jean pockets; Edward looked at me curiously, and then over at Bella.
"Jacob," Bella began. "He thought it'd be better if he went somewhere while we talk." She explained to him. "Charlie is at work, obviously, so we'll be alone."
"Alright," I said, keeping my cool. "I'll be back when he's out." I told Bella as I leaned over to give her one last kiss before venturing out into the woods. "See you soon." I told her as she reached out to give my hand a quick squeeze and a small smile.
As I headed out the front door and towards the woods I focused all of my hearing on the house, Edward, and Bella.
Bella tapped her fingers nervously against her thighs as she stood silent across from Edward, who hadn't taken her eyes off of her since he had entered back into the Swan house. "So…" She said softly as she brought her eyes from the wood floor beneath her to the caramel eyes of her ex.
"…So." He said back with more volume. "Would we be able to talk?" He asked. "In your room, maybe?"
She took a moment to absorb everything that was happening before responding with, "Yeah… yeah, I don't see how that's a problem." She told him confidently. "Come on up." She told him as she motioned for him to follow her up the narrow stairway.
"So how have you been?" Bella asked as she sat across her pillows at the head of her bed with her legs crossed as Edward sat across from her at the foot of the bed. "What have you been up to?" She asked.
"I have been better…" He said slowly as he gave her a knowing glance. "But Bella, I really didn't come here to discuss what has been going on in my life."
"Okay." Bella nodded. "Then, what did you come here to talk about?" She asked. "And you don't have to worry about getting interrupted, Jake won't be back until you leave, so whatever you have to say… don't sugar coat it."
"I miss you." He began without hesitation. "I love you, and I want you back." He went on. "Life without you has been torture. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you, about what I walked away from." He told her. "But, Bella, you have to know… you have to know the reason I left."
"Why did you leave Edward?" She asked him as she felt her chest tighten.
"Because I thought that by leaving you I was protecting you." He told her. "All of those things I said, about not wanting you or not loving you, they were lies, and you believe me so easily Bella." He paused. "I never meant to hurt you, and I never wanted to leave. But when I saw what happened at your birthday, and saw how easily you could have been killed by being with me… I saw no other option than to leave."
Bella looked at him with calm eyes.
"And when I came back, and saw you and Jacob together, I was hit by a million emotions. Anger, jealousy, pain, love, desire, hatred, fear… there wasn't anything I wasn't feeling when I saw you. I just wanted to run to you and tell you I was sorry and beg for you to take me back."
"Edward-"
"I'm not finished." He silenced her. "Bella… I will do anything… anything, to have you back in my arms, to have your heart again. I love you so much and I need you. It's not that I just want you or are used to having you around… I need you Bella, I truly, deeply, honestly, desirably need you." He told her as he leaned towards her. "I need you Bella… please tell me you need me too because being this close to you and not having you is killing me."
Bella shook her head slowly as she leaned away from him. "No, Edward. I don't need you." She told him firmly. "I don't love you anymore… not how I used to. I love Jacob now, and I think… I know, I always have love him."
"Bella," Edward said with a small sob as he lightly grabbed onto her shoulders. "Please, please don't tell me that. Don't say that… don't tell me you don't love me!" He sobbed dryly as he leaned his head against her chest and wrapped his arms around her small frame. "Because I love you so much and I need you!" He cried. "I made a mistake in ever leaving you in the first place! If I had just let James's venom spread than none of this would have never happened, you would be like me and we would be far away from here. We would be happy and in love and would be together until the end of time." He told her as he slid his hands up and wrapped them around her shoulders while lifting his head from her chest to look into her eyes. "You're so beautiful Bella, and I miss you. My life isn't complete without you."
"You went a hundred and eight years without me Edward… so I think you can last the next hundred and eight as well." Bella told him flatly. "You don't need me Edward, I am just another person."
"No!" He told her. "No you're not! You are so much more!"
"Then why did you leave me?" She asked him as she looked him dead in the eye with both pain and hatred. "Why did you leave me in the woods? Why did you tell me you never loved me? Why you didn't want me anymore? Why did you leave Forks and never speak to me again!"
"Bella! I take it back! I would take it all back if I could, you have to know that! You must know that!" He told her. "I promise if you take me back I will never hurt you again, ever! My desire for your blood is gone, I can finally give you what you are looking for! A real boyfriend! One who doesn't think about killing you all the time." He told her as he calmed himself down.
"Bella," He whispered as he looked her softly in the eyes and placed his hands on opposite sides of her head. "You are my world, and I need you." He said softly. "I love you Bella, I love you." He told her as he slowly, and unexpectedly, pressed his lips softly against hers.
"Edward," Bella said as she turned her head away from his and pressed her fingertips against his lips to push him away. "You need to go." She told him both softly and firmly. "I am with Jacob now, and I love him more than anything and I would never hurt him. He has always been there for me and he always will be, he loves me and he takes care of me and he protects me and I love him. I'm in love with him, he has my heart and he always will. I want to marry him and have a family with him and I want to grow old with him and die with him. I don't want to stay eighteen forever and I don't want to turn into a stone cold bloodsucking vampire like you. I don't want to repeat High School forever and I don't want to live someplace where the sun never shines because I'll sparkle if I go into the light. I want to live a naturally long happy life with the person I love, and Edward, that is not with you."
"Bella…" He said softly with tear-stung eyes. "Please… there must be something I can do to get back into your heart." He begged.
Bella grabbed his hand and pressed it firmly against her chest and said, "Do you feel that? Do you feel my heart beating?" She asked him; he nodded. "It is beating for Jacob, no one else, it never has, it has always been him Edward. Always."
As I walked into Bella's room she was sitting comfortably on the edge of her bed looking down at the floor. "I don't think he'll be back anytime soon." She said softly as she brought her eyes up to meet mine.
My eyes were focused on her contently as I walked over to her; the speech she had given Edward earlier about how she loves me and me alone playing in my mind over and over.
When I reached her bed I dropped to my knees in front of her and looked up into her eyes lovingly. I turned the side of my head and pressed my ear softly against her heart and wrapped my arms around her as I closed my eyes slowly. And as her heart beat against my ear I could feel, in my own chest, my heart beating in perfect unison with hers. They were beating as one.
I let out a content sigh as Bella wrapped her arms around my head and shoulders and leaned her face softly onto the top of my head and whispered: I love you Jacob… only you. Only ever you.
I squeezed her waist softly and swallowed back tears as I whispered back: I know that Bella… I know.
Try as I might, the tears I thought I swallowed back fell loosely from my eyes as I realized the truth in my own words.
Bella was mine. She always had been mine, always. She was then, she was now, and she would be forever.
THE END
